# Anti-Florida Content



## David Baxter PhD

The real reason Daniel loves the Anti-Canadian Content (Laughing With Us, Not At Us) thread:


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## tasha

Some Florida hurricane humour


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## Yuray

speaking of florida........(right after the pie you can hear a cameraman laugh):lol:



she says, "at least it's a fruit pie"......double entendre or what!


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

One has to wonder who exactly has petitioned the court to restore the father's rights and why...


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## Daniel

Something a little less thought-provoking:


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## David Baxter PhD

That's just age-ist...


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## Cat Dancer

I imagine florida is laughing their butts off at us here in Virginia with our foot of stupid snow;/


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## Daniel

Since I live pretty close to Georgia, I'll only be laughing until I need to buy a tuque.


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## Retired

Central Florida predicted low tonight 27 degrees F.  That's no laughing matter..


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## Daniel

That's outside.  Inside it's a warm 28


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## Yuray

> I imagine florida is laughing their butts off at us here in Virginia with our foot of stupid snow;/


I imagine Virginia is laughing their butts off at us here in Ontario with our three feet of stupid snow, or better yet, at Buffalo with their four feet of snow.

Once again (thanks Daniel) I am reminded of the complexity of the English language "tuque" (American).... "touque" (English)..."toque" (French)
I'm so cross right now that I will cross the street to put an offering under the cross. English is crass.


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## David Baxter PhD

27F is about -2 or -3C, which coincidentally is about the forecast low here in Ottawa tonight. :blank:


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## Retired

> -2 or -3C, which coincidentally is about the forecast low here in Ottawa tonight



Once again, it's that damned Canadian cold air

Oh wait..that's anti Canadian content:lol:


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## Andy

Oh come on. That's not cold.


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## tasha

Yuray said:


> I imagine Virginia is laughing their butts off at us here in Ontario with our three feet of stupid snow, or better yet, at Buffalo with their four feet of snow.



Wow Yuray... you have 3 feet of snow? mg:  I'm not that far away from you and I'm cursing our 3 INCHES of snow!  :hissyfit:  First time in four years that I haven't had underground parking and I don't even own a snowbrush for my car... and I've forgotten how to shovel.  :teehee:


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## David Baxter PhD

We only have an inch or two in Ottawa.


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## Daniel

More pro-Florida, pro-Virginia content:


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## Yuray

> Wow Yuray... you have 3 feet of snow? mg:


Actually, there is no snow in my hometown of Waterdown, (near Toronto 30 miles west) (and the sun was shining today), but 40 miles east in London they got 80 centimeteres, roughly 3 feet. 40 mile north, the same thing. Waterdown is between two snow belts. Everything north and south of us gets creamed with snow while we are still doing yardwork!. I have to go now, I have clothes on the line and it may rain tonight.


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## David Baxter PhD

I remember that corridor around Kitchener-Waterloo in the winter... if there was snow anywhere within a hundred miles, you'd have whiteouts on the 401 in that stretch.


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## tasha

You had SUNSHINE?  I'm an hour south-west of you and the sun didn't make any appearance today.   I know London got nailed... my b/f's daughter is going to university there and she called us today... the snow in some places "was up to her butt", as she so aptly described it!  I used to live in Muskoka so I know what that feels like! :lol:

P.S.  I'm still doing yardwork too, but I have to shovel away the snow to do it!  :rofl:

---------- Post added at 10:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:17 PM ----------




David Baxter said:


> I remember that corridor around Kitchener-Waterloo in the winter... if there was snow anywhere within a hundred miles, you'd have whiteouts on the 401 in that stretch.



How true!!


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## Daniel

The sun is overrated   All it does is bring warmth and happiness, both of which can interfere with the Canadian lifestyle of shoveling snow and shivering in the dark.


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## Yuray

> All it does is bring warmth and happiness


Bah....humbug......rder:


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## tasha

Daniel said:


> The sun is overrated  All it does is bring warmth and happiness, both of which can interfere with the Canadian lifestyle of shoveling snow and shivering in the dark.


 
Ahhh, but Daniel... we have a way of making the best of a situation.


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## Daniel

Yes, I believe that is from the Canadian Citizen Test.


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## Andy

You should see what our Freezers look like!


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## Daniel

I'm guessing there is a compartment just for bulk storage of cheese curds.

---------- Post added at 07:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:24 PM ----------

The Canadian Freezer


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## Daniel

*"Come back to Miami.  We weren't shooting at you."*

~ Dave Barry
*

Q.  How many Floridians does it take to change a light bulb?
*
A.  No one knows. They're still counting!


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## Daniel




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## Daniel

BBC News - Americanisms: 50 of your most noted examples


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## Daniel

"As any pedestrian in Florida knows, walking in this car-obsessed state can be as tranquil as golfing in a lightning storm."

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/16/u...-E-FB-SM-LIN-FAF-081611-NYT-NA&WT.mc_ev=click


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## Retired

> A pedestrian walked across Semoran Boulevard in Orlando last week.



When I saw the photo in the article, I was astonished the lady was still in one piece, but we don't actually see her on the relative safety of the sidewalk.  I drive on this road frequently and can attest to the fact that it is a very dangerous road, that eventually leads to the Orlando International Airport where pesky tourists who have no idea of where they are going, come and go.


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## David Baxter PhD

Pesky tourists? Isn't that Florida's main industry?


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## Daniel

It's only the Canadian tourists that are pesky  The rest have GPS, iPhone maps, etc.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

_Some anti-Hawaii content..._

$100 worth of groceries from Sam's Club in Honolulu:



Source:   Florida vs. Hawaii - What $100 Buys You in Groceries


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## Daniel

Looking for work? Try Canada - GlobalPost - Salon.com


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## Daniel

What's wrong with orange juice? - thestar.com


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## making_art

Top Florida fishing guide


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## Daniel




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## Daniel

"Colonel Sanders has provided us with buckets of his world-renowned original recipe of 11 herbs and spices for decades. To show our appreciation, KFC has petitioned the United States Postal Service to create a postage stamp in the Colonel's honor."


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## Jazzey

...kinda craving KFC now....*scratches mah head*...


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## Retired

> Colonel Sanders has provided us with buckets of his world-renowned original recipe of 11 herbs and spices for decades



Originally the restaurant was called _Kentucky Fried Chicken_, but they changed the name to _KFC_ so there would be no implication  "chicken" was a vital ingredient.


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## Daniel

Florida Couple Arrested On First Date

First dates can be awkward, so it's good to find common interests, like long walks on the beach or petty crime.

Florida police arrested two teenagers last week for allegedly attempting a "dine-and-ditch" after the couple enjoyed their first date...


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## Daniel




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## Mari

I am adding this because whenever I glance through the thread titles I wonder why there is an 'anti-fluoride' thread?


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## Daniel

Excellent.  Now I have something to talk about the next time I see my dentist 

Best of all, they ship to Canada:

http://www.buygatorpaste.com/


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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Black Friday Stress Relief - Surviving Black Friday, The Most Stressful Shopping Day Of The Year


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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Anti-Oregon:  

[video=youtube;AVmq9dq6Nsg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=AVmq9dq6Nsg#![/MEDIA]


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Retired

*Origin of the Name Florida*

An ancient Okeechobee Indian word meaning, "A Place for Elders to go to sweat"


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## Daniel

"The saddest thing I saw all summer was a diet cookbook left on the shelf halfway down the candy/chocolate aisle in Wal Mart. Someone lost all hope here."


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## David Baxter PhD

Daily life in Florida?


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## Retired

Temperatures in Central Florida have plummeted to near freezing overnight, with daytime highs in the 50's...sorry I'm not metric

There have been strong, cold Canadian dry north westerly winds, that have started numerous brush fires, some that closed major highways.

Temperatures are so cold that the alligators can't come out of the water to warm themselves, because the water is warmer than the air temps!

Here's one that came to about thirty feel from my back porch trying to keep warm.........



Now if only me and the missus can figure out how we can generate some heat to keep one another warm...


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## Retired

Don't you just love those red neck recipes!

Armadillo is considered a delicacy in many parts of red neck Country and is thought of as "land lobster".


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## Daniel

Man Attempts to Pay Water Bill with Crack Cocaine: Deputies | NBC 6 South Florida
September 25, 2013

Florida authorities are searching for a Deltona man who tried to pay his water bill by handing a cashier an envelope filled with crack cocaine, the sheriff's office said.

The Deltona Water office was evacuated on Sept. 23 after the water-department employees called the Volusia County Sheriff's Office to take a look at the envelope with the white powder, authorities said.

A team of law enforcement officials and fire department employees responded to the building, the sheriff's office said.

According to the report, it is common for customers to drop off envelopes in the counter that contain their water bill payments.

But in this case, when the employee opened the envelope, there was no statement or writing on it. Instead, the envelope contained a clear plastic bag with 3 grams of crack cocaine.

The Volusia County Sheriff's Office will continue to investigate the incident. The man was caught on surveillance video and deputies say he left the water office on a bicycle.


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## Retired

> searching for a Deltona man who tried to pay his water bill by handing a cashier an envelope filled with crack cocaine....there was no statement or writing on it



How do you calculate the exchange value for 3 grams of crack cocaine when paying a tax bill?  Do you use the retail value, wholesale value, or street value?

Sounds like he might have become exasperated with calculating the conversion, and chose to simply make a donation, rather than paying his bill.


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## Daniel




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## MHealthJo

Steve said:


> How do you calculate the exchange value for 3 grams of crack cocaine when paying a tax bill?  Do you use the retail value, wholesale value, or street value?
> 
> Sounds like he might have become exasperated with calculating the conversion, and chose to simply make a donation, rather than paying his bill.



I mean, it's hot. Things just get tiring.


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## Daniel




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## MHealthJo

That's why everyone wants to be a Florida Wal-Mart Greeter to meet these types of characters.

Not.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

Looks like something Steve would build. [emoji1]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Daniel

And would explain Steve's tan


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## Daniel

Man accused of tossing gator into Wendy's drive-thru window | Firstcoastnews.com


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## David Baxter PhD

lol I saw that news story... Only in Florida, eh?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

Or poutine. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## amazingmouse

You mean we don't need poutine?

P.S. I actually had sushi for breakfast.


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## David Baxter PhD

We do need poutine. I don't think we need sushi. [emoji52]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## amazingmouse

David Baxter said:


> I don't think we need sushi.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



David, you realize this is a distortion, right? I suggest we all start listening to a tape that plays "I love maki, remaki, nigri, sushi and sashimi"; and when comfortable with this, we move on to "Sushi, sashimi, maki and remaki is all I need".
Suddenly, you will start noticing the multitude of great sushi restaurants in your surroundings and eventually move on to preparing sushi at home, which is the ultimate milestone sushi lovers must meet.
(for Conservatives, you can use smoked Salmon instead of the real one; this is what I do, tastes great).


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## David Baxter PhD

Not a big fan. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## amazingmouse

I do not see any missed steaks here...


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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Why Are There So Many Tornadoes in the United States? - The Atlantic

...Tornadoes are an expected part of life in the United States—especially in the multi-state area known as Tornado Alley. (Florida, too, sees a disproportionately high number of tornadoes, because of its frequent thunderstorms.) The United States gets more tornadoes, by far, than any other place on the planet. It averages about 1,250 twisters a year. Canada, which sees about 100 tornadoes per year, is a “distant second”...


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## Daniel

Serving Suggestion on can: "Boy do they taste good spread on a cracker, washed down with an RC Cola and topped off with a Moon Pie."


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## MHealthJo

wow, wow, wow


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## Daniel

Yeah, I thought it was real at first.  Guess I lived in Florida too long


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## David Baxter PhD

Now THAT is comedy!


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## Retired

But seriously, in some parts of Florida, armadillo is considered a delicacy, akin to  *"land lobster"*.  The most popular serving idea is to place the armadillo whole in the smoker, and serve directly from the shell, as the shell forms its own convenient serving bowl, when the armadillo is placed on its back.



Although for the more sophisticated pallet, _smoked armadillo eggs_ make a bite sized morsel for any elegant Florida tailgate evening soir?e.


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## Daniel

> as the shell forms its own convenient serving bowl



Another factoid:



> Humans can acquire a leprosy infection from armadillos by handling them or consuming armadillo meat.
> 
> Armadillo - Wikipedia


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## David Baxter PhD

Yikes!


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## Retired

For the record, comments written earlier were intended to be absurd, with no basis in fact.....

I would not want to be the cause of a leprosy epidemic...mg:


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## David Baxter PhD

lol well you got me... I believed you...


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## GaryQ

Daniel said:


>



Must be a Canadian on vacation.... HE APOLOGIZED! :rofl:


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## Daniel

He should be a spokesperson for whatever brand of chesterfield he was sleeping on.


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## GaryQ

Watch out for these Steve!


Halloween costumes are great because you can dress up as something that you?ve always wanted to be. Tired of Snowbirds migrating to The Sunshine State every year? The Snowbird Busters costume is the perfect Floridian Halloween costume for you.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

BREAKING NEWS: 

Florida man accused of hiding full rack of stolen ribs in his pants

...“removed a full rack of ribs from his waistband.”

And that’s not all he's accused of stealing. The grocery list of stolen items reportedly included the following:


Nine pieces of fried chicken
Some mashed potatoes
Two packs of hamburger buns
And, of course, the one “full rack of ribs” — whether they were beef or pork has not been clarified

The price tag for this alleged theft, which sounds like a carnivorous take on the “12 Days of Christmas,” amounted to $32.49.

Authorities said [he] smelled a little like alcohol and was intoxicated at the time.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Frustrated over Miami traffic, a man now travels with dolphins


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## Daniel




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## GaryQ

What boggles my mind is that he actually thought he could “pull this one off” :facepalm:


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## Daniel

Some good but unusual news. Eight puppies born at a Florida airport:

*Service dog gives birth to puppies at Florida airport*
_KSN.com_
May 26, 2018

TAMPA, Fla. (NBC) - Most arrivals at Tampa International Airport are expected...but not these. 

Ellie's job is normally to service her owner, but on Friday, she was the center of attention outside a bar near the F gates. 

Mother Nature's timing can be a bit unpredictable. 

"I just thank God that everybody is safe, healthy and happy. That's all," said Diane Van Atter, owner of Ellie the service dog. 

Ellie was waiting to fly with her owner, Diane Van Atter, to Philadelphia when she unexpectedly went into labor. 

"Never seen anything like this. Especially in an airport," said Kelly Bonnazio, witness to the delivery. 

Tampa Fire Rescue team members stationed at the airport immediately responded. 

"They were there. It took a couple of hours," said Jason Penny, Tampa Fire Rescue.

"The Fire Department was a wonderful help They really were," added Van Atter.

After a long two-hour delivery, mom, Ellie, gave birth to a little girl.

"That's the only little girl we have. We have seven boys and one girl.. which was the last puppy," said Van Atter. 

And even though they missed their flight, Van Atter is going home with some special souvenirs born in the Sunshine State. 

"What they lost with their luggage being on the plane...they've got a whole bunch of puppies with them now," said Penny.

Van Atter says she will be donating one of the puppies to a children's service dog charity.


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## gooblax

Alligator Stops Flight From Arriving At Florida Airport
denver.cbslocal.com
June 12, 2018 

ORLANDO, FL (CBS Local) – Airline passengers are always prepared to hear about delays at the airport, but customers on a Spirit Airlines flight probably weren’t expecting to hear that an alligator was keeping them from getting to their destination.

Passengers at Orlando International Airport were kept waiting as the massive road block camped out on the runway for a flight that was rolling in from Baltimore–Washington International Airport. “Believe it or not, we have to wait for an alligator that’s in the middle of the runway,” the Spirit pilot said, via WKMG.

“Only in Florida… a gator held up our Spirit Airlines plane crossing the runway at MCO on the way home from DC,” passenger Anthony Velardi wrote on Facebook, while taking video of the gator as it returned to a nearby pond. Video of the June 11 airport visitor has been viewed over 11,000 times since the Flight 389’s unusual delay.

Orlando International had to send a truck out to encourage the loitering reptile to find somewhere else to sit besides an active runway.

Despite waiting patiently for the gator to go take a swim, Spirit Airlines reports that the flight still arrived in Orlando 17 minutes early.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Out of control iguanas infesting South Florida - Sun Sentinel
JUNE 22, 2018

South Florida’s not quite Jurassic Park, but it’s getting close.

Packs of green iguanas are swarming seawalls, roaming yards and parks, and leaving a path of destruction and filth in their wake. Like a shot of espresso, the hot summer sun has stoked activity in the cold-blooded creatures, which experts say may be at record numbers...

In South Florida, iguanas are the second leading cause of power outages, behind squirrels...


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## GaryQ

Daniel said:


> Out of control iguanas infesting South Florida - Sun Sentinel



Seems there's always something out of control infesting Florida... If it's not gators, it's spring breakers or snowbirds


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## Daniel

Fortunately, it is just another reminder to stay inside considering the humidity and traffic 

When I went to the University of Florida, I remember sweating it out when walking to classes in the surrounding humidity/swamp.

(Florida is 29 percent swamp.)


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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel

It is obviously for Americans who are too happy living the American dream to waste time buying non-canned, perishable bread on a weekly basis.


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## GaryQ

If I was an American and had me a nuclear shelter in the back yard I'd definitely want to stock some of them good cans of bread


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## David Baxter PhD

Canned bread, evaporated milk, and don't forget the Spam!


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## Daniel

Florida is doing great...by comparison:

Steer clear of West Virginia: Mountain State is named unhappiest | Daily Mail Online

Except Florida has one of the highest divorce rates, unemployment rates, etc:

Why did Florida rank so low in a study of happiest states? | Miami Herald


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## GaryQ

Daniel said:


>



TOTALLY DISAGREE!
I can live with Mickey Mouse just south of the border but Gators next door NO THANKS!

TRUDEAU START BUILDING THAT WALL, PREFERABLY STARTING IN MANITOBA


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

Google “Florida man” followed by your birthday: What’s your story?

So Florida man + month and day, e.g., March 21


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## Daniel

Putting the date in quotes helped:

Florida man tries to board flight with rocket propelled grenade launcher


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## David Baxter PhD

Florida man said he stalked family to 'make friends', deputies say


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## Daniel

Proof that people in Florida are friendly!


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## David Baxter PhD

@*gooblax* if you see one of these while traveling on your bike and you find you're not able to avoid running over it, that would be great. 

*Massive python captured at South Florida wildlife preserve*
_CBC News_
April 9, 2019







Officials discovered a female python more than 17 feet long and weighing 140 pounds in Big Cypress National Preserve on Friday.


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## gooblax

David Baxter said:


> @*gooblax* if you see one of these while traveling on your bike and you find you're not able to avoid running over it, that would be great.



Over a year ago I did see a big one maybe half that size that'd already been run over by a car. I think I'd have come off 2nd best on my bike. mg:


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## Daniel

fyi:


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## gooblax

Daniel said:


>


In terms of ruining the joke through over explaining... 
That's gotta be a turboprop cause otherwise the engine /wing position doesn't make sense. I didn't think we used turboprop for international flights, therefore it was probably a short leg domestic flight... So in all likelihood they weren't 100% done with Australia anyway since they probably had an in-country stopover.


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## Daniel

So maybe there were snakes at the next airport too


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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel

In the water though, you can swim with them as long as you stay in your swim lane


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## GaryQ

You guys are aware this is the Anti FLORIDA NOT AUSSIE THREAD????


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## gooblax

GaryQ said:


> You guys are aware this is the Anti FLORIDA NOT AUSSIE THREAD????


:lol: I thought we almost had an Anti Aussie thread at one point but last time I looked I couldn't find it.


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## GaryQ

gooblax said:


> :lol: I thought we almost had an Anti Aussie thread at one point but last time I looked I couldn't find it.



Didn’t try very hard gooblax lol
https://forum.psychlinks.ca/showthread.php?36135-Aussie-Humor


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## gooblax

GaryQ said:


> Didn’t try very hard gooblax lol
> https://forum.psychlinks.ca/showthread.php?36135-Aussie-Humor


Lol thanks, I might just bookmark it


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## Daniel

Don't worry, we will remind you


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

Hey! That's the official flower for Ottawa!


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## Daniel

At least then the Canadian Geese feel more at home.


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## GaryQ

It's an extremely invasive plant. we have them here too I remember them in Quebec all over the place too.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Fun facts for any small-talk occasion:

Statewide Nuisance Alligator Program | Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission

Florida has a healthy and stable alligator population. We have about *1.3 million alligators* in Florida. *Alligators live in all 67 counties*, and they inhabit all wild areas of Florida that can support them. The removal of nuisance alligators does not have a significant impact on our state's alligator population...

If a complaint meets the qualifying criteria, SNAP will issue a permit to a contracted nuisance alligator trapper authorizing the removal of the animal...

In 2018, SNAP received 14,739 nuisance alligator complaints resulting in the removal of 8,139 nuisance alligators...

*Why aren’t small alligators removed? 
*Alligators less than 4 feet in length are not large enough to be dangerous unless handled. They eat fish, frogs and other small animals. Typically, they are not large enough to be a threat even to small pets. The mere presence of a small alligator is not cause for concern.


How to be a NAT | Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission
*
Generally, there is not enough "work" to make nuisance-alligator trapping a full time job*, and the income earned from the sale of alligator products may not be enough to support an individual or family.  Most nuisance alligator trappers have other sources of income...


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## Daniel

In another state but related:


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel

David Baxter said:


>




Probably a Winnipegger who has a winter home in Florida


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## David Baxter PhD

Or possibly the Trumps are moving out of the White House?


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

From the 4th of July weekend:  "Florida man had baby alligator in front seat of his car, deputies say"

 (the alligator was later released into the wild)


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## David Baxter PhD

Daniel said:


> From the 4th of July weekend:  "Florida man had baby alligator in front seat of his car, deputies say"
> 
> (the alligator was later released into the wild)



It wasn't in an approved baby seat?


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## Daniel

Exactly.  And no foster care until the trial is over?  Really???


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## Daniel

Journey for the journey:

Florida man sings  in cop car while on journey to jail


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## Daniel

If you look closely, the fake alligator is rolling his eyes:


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## Daniel

I would get a video doorbell:


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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Florida police respond to home after parrot cries, 'Let me out!' 

LAKE WORTH BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Someone in Florida dialed 911 after hearing chilling cries and the words “Let me out!” But the cries were that of a 40-year-old parrot named Rambo.

After the call, four Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies pulled up and questioned a man who appeared to be repairing a car in his driveway.

The Palm Beach Post reports that when the deputies showed up and explained their concerns, the man introduced them to Rambo.

He told the officers that he taught Rambo to scream “Let me out!” years ago when Rambo lived in a cage. The incident happened Dec. 29.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

https://www.miamiherald.com/miami-com/restaurants/article239520633.html#storylink=cpy

Mango season may be months away, but if you live in South Florida today, your trees may be ripe for the picking — of iguanas.

Iguana meat, dubbed “chicken of the trees,” started showing up on Facebook Marketplace overnight, as the temperature dipped into the 40s. The green iguanas are an invasive species, stunned lifeless by South Florida’s occasional cold snaps, and they die if the chilly weather holds. The National Weather Service even tweeted to watch out for falling iguanas.

That apparently makes them easy pickings for backyard harvesters...

But can you actually eat them, or should you?

You absolutely can — as long as the food comes from a reputable processor, according to the University of Florida Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences. They are commonly hunted in Central and South America and parts of the Caribbean and are an “economical source of protein,” according to the organization’s post.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Why some cops need to eat more donuts:


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## Daniel

A Florida county is reminding people to maintain a distance of at least one alligator between each other - CNN


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## David Baxter PhD

The unofficial measure in Canada is one hockey stick.


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## Daniel

>



Steven Colbert talking about it:

"Luckily everyone in Florida is issued an alligator."


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

Turns out he wasn't really going to do it. He was too Yellow.


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## Daniel

Is your meth contaminated with coronavirus? This Florida police dept. will test it for free | WFLA
March 4, 2020

ATLANTIC BEACH, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida police department wants you to know that if you have recently purchased any illegal street drugs, you can bring it to their station to get it tested for coronavirus.

The Atlantic Beach Police Department posted the PSA on their Facebook page last week. The tongue-in-cheek post issues a warning that if you recently bought cocaine, meth, heroin, or any other street drugs in their area, it may be contaminated with coronavirus.

The police department goes on to urge those to bring their drugs to the police department for free testing. If you’re uncomfortable going to the police department, police say they will come to you — in the privacy of your own home!


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Banks urged to require masks despite industry concern about robbery risk - The Washington Post

...Another would-be robber in Florida, entered a Wells Fargo branch wearing sunglasses, gloves and a white cone-like mask over his face. He approached a teller’s window demanding money, according to the arrest warrant.

But the bank employee had trouble hearing the robber’s demands — through the mask. “The male got upset and repeated himself several times” and eventually left empty-handed, according to the arrest warrant.


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## Daniel




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Florida man calls 911 after neighbors yell ‘Shoot! Shoot!’ during hockey game


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Just another day in Florida:


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Florida officials propose culling invasive python population by eating them
November 20, 2020

...Her python meat marketing suggestion: Chicken of the Glades.


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## Daniel

Best Florida Man headlines from 2020: Animal attacks, crime and more
*
Leopard mauls man who paid $150 for 'full contact experience' at a backyard zoo.*

    In a South Florida backyard zoo, a man was mauled by a captive black leopard after he paid $150 for a "full-contact experience" to play with the leopard and take pictures.

    The owners of the licensed animal sanctuary were charged by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission with allowing full contact with an extremely dangerous animal and was cited for maintaining captive wildlife in an unsafe condition.


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## David Baxter PhD

Usage of the phrase "you can't fix stupid" seems to have vastly increased in recent years.


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## Daniel

Even a kitty cat provides enough "scratchy scratchy" for me


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## David Baxter PhD

:lol: yes exactly.

My cat needs a claw trim but I traumatized myself several years ago trying to do that myself and having the poor cat freak out and bleed all over the place. And with the lockdowns, I don't want to take her into the vet unless I have to.

She's not aggressive but her claws are sharp and she can do some rfeal damage when she gets scared or alarmed.


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## Daniel

> And with the lockdowns, I don't want to take her into the vet unless I have to.



Our local animal hospital went back to curbside-only service this week.  It slows everything down a bit, but I feel like a rich person  since I never leave the vehicle, even to pay.    

We had the chihuahua's nails done since we had been procrastinating on it daily for weeks.   It is about as fun as holding a squirrel, even though he has been prescribed 75 mg of trazodone for nail clippings.   And the vet techs do a much better job, usually, since he has mostly black nails.

When I take my adult cat to the vet, I usually give her some liquid gabapentin from the vet's office to help calm her down.


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## David Baxter PhD

Ha ha! Now THAT is comedy! ^^^


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Why you shouldn't eat glazed donuts in Florida cars:









						Florida Man Awarded $37,500 After Cops Mistake Glazed Doughnut Crumbs For Meth
					


Police departments across the country use inexpensive field tests to quickly screen for drugs. But the kits create a lot of room for error — with troubling consequences.





					www.npr.org


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## Daniel

Federal court upholds $30,000 in fines to Dunedin homeowner over tall grass
					


The homeowner announced in a statement that he plans to appeal the court’s decision.





					www.tampabay.com


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4 Florida men accused of stealing over $500,000 in tequila
					


Truck driver stopped for dinner at truck stop when he noticed load of tequila was no longer attached to truck





					www.cbsnews.com


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## Daniel

Police: Florida man tries to trade back vehicle he stole
					


LAKE CITY, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man tried to trade in a vehicle from the same dealership he stole it from, police said. Lake City police responded to a report of a stolen vehicle at a Chrysler Dodge Jeep dealership on Monday, WTLV-TV reported.





					apnews.com
				



Sept. 22, 2021 

LAKE CITY, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man tried to trade in a vehicle from the same dealership he stole it from, police said.

Lake City police responded to a report of a stolen vehicle at a Chrysler Dodge Jeep dealership on Monday, WTLV-TV reported.

Employees told officers that a man was trying to trade in his vehicle for a new one. But upon checking the VIN number, they found that the vehicle was stolen from the dealership’s lot a few days earlier.

The man admitted to stealing the vehicle, police said, adding the crime was captured on the dealership’s camera system.

He was arrested on charges including grand theft of a motor vehicle and criminal mischief.


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Drunk woman stole lobster from tank at Red Lobster: cops
					


Well, that was shellfish of her. A drunken Florida woman swiped a live crustacean from its tank at a local Red Lobster and escaped, The Smoking Gun reported. Kimberly Gabel, 42, was busted for diso…





					nypost.com
				




Well, that was shellfish of her.

A drunken Florida woman swiped a live crustacean from its tank at a local Red Lobster and escaped...

She started to cause a disturbance and was asked to leave by a manager...then began cursing before reaching into the water tank containing live lobsters, grabbing one and bolting out the front door...


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## Daniel

How do waiters and waitresses handle “regulars” at restaurants who are terrible tippers?
					


Michael Gardner's answer: As this is an American question, my input from an Australian point of view is:  We don’t tip wait staff. They are paid a living wage and the thought of treating them like beggars is objectionable. They are employees and are on the same social level as their customers. Th...





					qr.ae
				




"Whatever you Americans think as normal… carry on regardless.. I won’t be visiting thank you."


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## David Baxter PhD

Tipping is a ridiculous concept in my opinion. Wait staff, bellhops, valets, and the like should be paid a fair wage to begin with, rendering tips useless. In many places, you aren't even tipping the waiter — your tipping all waiters on duty that night since all tips go into a tip jar where they are shared at the end of the day.

The reason I still tip is that I recognize that waiters are paid less than minimum wage assuming they will get tips, so I do it for the waiters because many of them need it to even get up to minimum wage. But the whole practice is obscene.


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## Daniel

I overtip at Denny's almost out of charity because it seems a lot of regulars there leave only $1 or $2 in tips.  And I do get a lot of coffee refills 

My favorite (pre-pandemic) tipping story involves the non-tipping narcissism of the rich.     Years ago, I took a break from caregiving and worked at Avis, the car rental company.  A former co-worker at Avis was told by the boss to do a favor for some customers and drive them to their private jet -- at the private airport ten miles away.  My co-worker even carried their bags since they seemed to expect it.

Besides not getting tipped (which wasn't shocking to him), he barely got any acknowledgment from them that he was even human -- which is what he didn't like, especially as someone literally making the minimum.

The co-worker had to hustle when he did get back to Avis, unless he wanted to deal with a line of unhappily waiting customers.    (I quit working there sooner than later because the same boss was like many pre-pandemic bosses and acted like we should just be lucky to have a job.)


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From _The Simpsons_:


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