# Things Dogs Must Remember



## ladylore (Apr 26, 2008)

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. 

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 

I will scoot my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on. 

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. 

I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet. 

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food. 

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing. 

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. 

I will not wake Mommy by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end. 

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them. 

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging. 

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside. 

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. 

I will not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it. 

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps. 

My head does not belong in the refrigerator, dishwasher or trashcan.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration. 

I will not take off while on leash to chase squirrels while Mommy is standing on a slippery grass slope.



Author Unknown


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