# Humor - NOS 2



## David Baxter PhD

*Thread split from Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

Publix  (the most popular grocery store in Florida) sold really good decaf of their own brand, but I think I become bored of it.


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## Daniel

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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*



One register is the norm at the ones I go to, but that is all they usually need.


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

If HAL9000 was Amazon.coms Alexa - YouTube


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## Daniel

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## Daniel

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## Daniel

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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

From 2010:


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*



David Baxter said:


>




Incidentally, I can't believe people driving these old Model Ts.  I never saw that in Florida but people do that here in northern Arizona.  I saw one even have a minor incident just trying to turn around.   I would almost rather ride a motorcycle or a blind horse


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

mg:   I rather look at tick ID photos


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## Daniel

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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

Last one, a classic:


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*



“Mmmm... floor meat...” ~ Homer Simpson


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

and the exposure therapy is free


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

[sign]10/10[/sign]

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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

Saw this while shopping on Amazon for groceries:


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

People are under a lot of pressure before a horse show


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

Less noise but more delicious:

4th of July Edible Firecracker Rice Krispies Recipe


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*

"Mmmmm... silently scrumptious.." ~ Homer Simpson


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## Daniel

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## Daniel

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## Daniel

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## Daniel

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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*

@gooblax


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Mari

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

Pre-COVID:


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*



"This is the precise reason I didn't want bamboo flooring."

Source:  _The New Yorker_


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

Almost wrote this today for a review of a Chinese restuarant:

"Delicious and friendly staff."


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*

:lol:


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

I do enjoy a good nap after watching 10 minutes of golf


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

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## Daniel

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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*

Yuck.


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

While we are focusing on the negative:



> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_cheese
> 
> The bacterium _Brevibacterium linens_ is responsible for the smell of many blue cheeses, as well as foot odour and other human body odors


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## gooblax

*Re: Humour - NOS*

 One reason to be glad those will never exist in Australia.


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

Defo 

But if anyone needs more elegant ideas like this one, let me know:

Smooth Blue Cheese Broccoli Soup




"The addition of blue cheese makes this broccoli soup elegant enough to serve at any dinner party!"

:lol:


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*

That's probably why I hate blue cheese in anything. It's like sour cream: even the smell of it in the air or on someone's breath can make me feel queasy.


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

In the news today:



> Vacaville [California] man uses cans of beer to stop fire from destroying shop
> 
> VACAVILLE, Calif. —
> 
> A Vacaville man turned to the only thing he had to put out the flames burning his shop: Cans of Bud Light...
> 
> "I was just shaking it up, popping it and spraying them"...
> 
> He was able to put out the flames right before firefighters arrived.
> 
> “My buddies all tease me about drinking water-beer,” he said. “I say, ‘hey, it saved my shop.’”


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*



David Baxter said:


>



Those big screen TVs are getting cheaper and cheaper


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*

https://youtu.be/ZfYCTM5kjoM


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## Daniel

*Re: Humour - NOS*


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## gooblax

*Re: Humour - NOS*

^ One of my top reasons for not wanting to move to the US. Y'all work too much for too little.


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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

@gooblax


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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

^^^ I don’t understand the ketchup ultrasound cartoon.


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## Daniel

I think it is just cute more than anything since the baby is a ketchup packet.  

Sent from my LM-Q720 using Tapatalk


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## David Baxter PhD

Oh okay. I thought it was just another bottle of ketchup.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

David Baxter said:


>


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## Daniel




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## gooblax

Daniel said:


>


Would suck for the one classic Aussie bloke who never wears shoes to anything. :lol:


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## gooblax

:yuk:
There is no way to make blue or pink lasagna look appetising.


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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2jAx_mZRhs


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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

Love the misspelling of "gluten free".


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel




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## Daniel

David Baxter said:


>


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## Mari




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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel

Most of the training involves a divide-and-conquer approach


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel

Learn something new every day


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel

Source: _Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization_


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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Coping Tip of the Day:


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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel

That reminds me that I need to buy some for my Impossible Burgers.   I have tried HP sauce too but like A1 more since I grew up with it.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## GaryQ




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## David Baxter PhD

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## GaryQ

^^^ :rofl: But sometimes the pun is coincidental!


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## GaryQ

This place is like a school:

 @David Baxter be the Principal
 @Daniel the school newspaper editor, columnist, reporter etc.. Making sure there's always a couple cartoons.
 @forgetmenot the school Nurse,
 @gooblax the kid who always at the nurse from her daredevil stunts in the schoolyard
I'm the class clown AKA the smart*ss

And there be a bunch of others playing hooky.


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## David Baxter PhD

> And there be a bunch of others playing hooky.



Or hockey. And some are doing both: playing hooky to play hockey. And hoping for a hickey.


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## GaryQ

Hockey 
Miss it big time.


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## gooblax

GaryQ said:


> This place is like a school:
> 
> @*David Baxter* be the Principal
> @*Daniel* the school newspaper editor, columnist, reporter etc.. Making sure there's always a couple cartoons.
> @*forgetmenot* the school Nurse,
> @*gooblax* the kid who always at the nurse from her daredevil stunts in the schoolyard
> I'm the class clown AKA the smart*ss
> 
> And there be a bunch of others playing hooky.


:rofl:
I was literally just thinking about the ONE time I ended up at the school nurse's office. And I wouldn't have had to go there if I hadn't been doing something dumb right outside their window :lol: Didn't get in trouble for it though which was a surprise at the time.


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## GaryQ

gooblax said:


> :rofl:
> I was literally just thinking about the ONE time I ended up at the school nurse's office. And I wouldn't have had to go there if I hadn't been doing something dumb right outside their window :lol: Didn't get in trouble for it though which was a surprise at the time.



Now why does this not surprise me one bit at all  
I love how you emphasized "the ONE time" :rofl:
At least you liked it and found it funny. 
The principal and the newspaper kid didn't even click like  

Funny part of it is that there was no thinking involved I only started with the intention if posting "this place is like a school" and the next thing I knew the rest had just followed.


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## David Baxter PhD

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## GaryQ

Thankfully the brit pound symbol clarifies the origin 

Yo mate! Bring me a pint with some chips and chips.
And while yer at it where's the bloody "piper"? :rofl:


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## Daniel

What is a piper?   

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## Daniel

To answer my own question:


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## GaryQ

Daniel said:


> What is a piper?
> 
> Sent from my LM-Q720 using Tapatalk



Sorry for thy delay
It's how (from personal experience) some brits pronounce "paper" 

When I was a teenager this English sailor met gal from my building and next thing you knew they were married. Love or residency ... that I don't know.

So one one day as I'm heading out He shouts out:
"Hey Gary! ave you see the piper"
TO which i replied. "I read the book as a kid. Didn't know they made a movie"
So slightly ticked off he blares out "Not the Piper, the bloody piper"

40 odd years it still cracks me up he was almost blue in the face. 

Both sounded identical... he meant the local "newsPIPER" 

In his defense the poor bloke had literally just come off the boat  :rofl:


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## David Baxter PhD

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## GaryQ

Why we call Moose "Swamp Donkey's"
It's censured but the comments are quite :rofl:
Thankfully this one is an American


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD

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## David Baxter PhD

And for those who don't get or don't remember the reference, it's from Seinfeld:


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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

Sleep lab humor


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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel

or french fries, a good source of electrolytes for walking around Walmart


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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD

Daniel said:


> or french fries, a good source of electrolytes for walking around Walmart



You can never go wrong with french fries. And for that extra boost, make it a poutine.

Several Walmart superstores here in Canada or at least in Ontario) have McDonald's (Maccas for @gooblax) right on the premises.

Coincidence? I think not.


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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

@Daniel


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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD

"We  hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember  with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics." ~ Bill  Vaughan


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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

From 1997:


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel

All good advice except I refuse to share my popcorn opcorn:


----------



## gooblax

No raccoons here. Will have to invite a possum and compare results. Not the terrifying American possums though, the Aussie ones are much cuter: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phalangeriformes


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

Amazon.com:  Wrap Your Real Gift in a Prank Funny Gag Joke Gift Box - by Prank-O


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## gooblax

At least they have their priorities straight:


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

Repeat but a favorite:


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

And we liked it!  The taste of dirt was enough to keep us alive


----------



## Daniel

@David Baxter


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

When you didn't get what you really wanted for Christmas, so you have to buy it yourself:


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

They also need to pull their pants up.

Sent from my LM-Q720 using Tapatalk


----------



## David Baxter PhD

^^^ Ha ha! Well played!


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## gooblax

David Baxter said:


>


Clearly missed his calling in 2020 - delivering toilet paper rolls to those who missed out on the panic buying.


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

Works even better with men


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

I don't get that one.   Must be a dad joke


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Daniel said:


> I don't get that one.   Must be a dad joke



No. You're probably just too young.  It's a reference to this song:



America (band) - Wikipedia: 



> *America* is an American rock band that was formed in London in 1970 by Dewey Bunnell, Dan Peek and Gerry Beckley. ....
> 
> While their fathers were stationed at the United States Air Force base at RAF South Ruislip near London in the mid-1960s, Beckley, Bunnell and Peek attended London Central High School at Bushey Hall, where they met while playing in two different bands.



Two other big hits for the band were:


----------



## Daniel

Thanks, I remember that song now.  My dad's fault for throwing away the eight-track tapes


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Lonely Planet have just published a new series of travel guides ...


----------



## David Baxter PhD

I've just had my Christmas Dinnner.

These slow Cookers are rubbish.


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

or too depressed to stop the cats from biting your feet


----------



## David Baxter PhD

Does your kitten do that?


----------



## Daniel

Yes.  If you see me online at 4 am, that's probably why


----------



## David Baxter PhD

Ah yes... gotta love those kitten days... 

Mindy was a rescue cat, 5 years old when I got her, so I was spared that these days. Not just the attacking feet part but my last kitten liked to eat my white iPhone charger cables.. I didn't enjoy that part.


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Q


----------



## Daniel

David Baxter said:


>



My next coping tip will be on the dangers of high expectations


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Carpe diem?


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Canadians Escalate from "Irritated" to "A Bit Cross" 

ALERTS TO TERROR THREATS 
 By John Cleese

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s Get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

John Cleese – British writer, actor and tall person

The numbers are in: Canadaâ€™s COVID-fighting efforts are among worldâ€™s worst - Macleans.ca


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

Or do the foxes have something to hide?


----------



## gooblax

They're probably keeping it tight lipped after their news leaked a few years ago:


----------



## David Baxter PhD

^^^ Very profound. One of the strangest songs ever released.


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

And if you add maple syrup to their vegan diet, you get Canadian Bacon.


----------



## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

Love the name plate


----------



## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

At Papa John's website:



> Nothing says* “I love you, but I’m not cooking tonight”* like a Heart-Shaped pizza.


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

In the US, you also get donuts when you renew your subscription to AARP 🍩


----------



## David Baxter PhD

We need that in Canada. 

But not in Australia. They would just put Vegemite / Marmite all over the donuts and ruin them.


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

Moths are difficult to cook properly


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

A blast from the past:



David Baxter said:


>


----------



## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

Two dad jokes in a row!  👏


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Wow. How and why in gourd's name did they squash so many inedibles in there? There's no room left for real food.


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

One teenage kitten is enough


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## gooblax

Daniel said:


>


Can I get a large fries with that?


----------



## Daniel

Large fries are still only $1 with the McDonald's app       Sometimes, I will go to Panera Bread and then get McDonald's unsweet tea and steal some of my husband's fries


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

Reminds me of band instructors:  "This time, with feeling!"


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

Well, if your clients don't know how to spell, you have to meet them where they are


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Thank goodness! Watermelon bones can kill you. 😳


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

I don't get this one, @Daniel.


----------



## Daniel

It's a humorous spin on feeling somewhat aliened from others or life itself.

In any case, it reminds me of the former TV show _3rd Rock_. John Lithgow stole the show each episode with his over-the-top acting.


----------



## David Baxter PhD

Ah thanks.

I used to watch every episode of Third Rock that I could. Excellent comedy and John Lithgow was hilarious. 

I don't know if you saw The Crown. John Lithgow played Winston Churchill in the first two seasons. After all those Third Rock episodes, I thought it was a strange choice but he turned out to be just superb in the role — probably the best portrayal of Churchill I have yet seen.

Obviously a very talented and versatile actor.


----------



## Daniel

I feel asleep the last time I watched it


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

@gooblax this reminded me of Australia


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

full story


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Or are they...


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Cat Dancer




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

David Baxter said:


>



It also helps to wear a hat like this:


----------



## David Baxter PhD

I saw one of those the other day but it said, "I like *cats*, and maybe three people".


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

I don't understand this one ^^^

Why nothing?


----------



## Daniel

That is what they might as well get, anyway with those cheap “gifts.”


----------



## David Baxter PhD

Oh haha! Understood. Nurses definitely deserve better than that but it really should start with better salaries.


----------



## Daniel

And the pizza reminds me of elementary school where the teachers would tell us if we were good, we would get a pizza party at the end of the year.   And you end up with a small cold slice, haha


----------



## David Baxter PhD

Yeah. I never had that but I remember my childr3en having pizza days. And I had to send in $1-2 for that cold slice with a drink. 🤔


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

That? Oh that's just grampa. He's always a bit grumpy but actually that's his happy face.


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

Domain name for sale:


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Denny's is such a strange franchise.

Nothing on the menu is really bad, they offer generous portions, and they are (or used to be) open long hours, like 24/7.

On the other hand, nothing on the menu is actually *good*. I don't know how they do that.


----------



## Daniel

If the food items were good/great, then people would get too upset about the slowness of the service.   So it's a perfect balance, indeed.


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

One of the lesser known Greek philosophers.


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Her: I'm a big country fan.

Me: I really like China.


----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

A repost:


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Elder Careful | The Nib
					


The Dos and Don’ts of caring for your geriatric millennial.





					thenib.com
				



\


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

I thought the subtitle was funny:



			Amazon.ca : You Were Born for This: Astrology for Radical Self-Acceptance


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

From the Canadian TV show _Kim's Convenience_:


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

They gave me 37 packets of hot sauce for my two bean burritos​


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

I don't understand this one. ^^^


----------



## Daniel

The value of the function is always positive (as it is the absolute value of x).


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

My favorite line:   Can you hold the honey in the honey mustard dressing?


----------



## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

Daniel said:


>



I don't understand this one.


----------



## Daniel

One explanation:



Even worse were the older multi-function printers that wouldn't let you use the scanner if the printer was out of ink.


----------



## David Baxter PhD

I see. That does sound like either abject stupidity or a money grab.

I haven't bought or used an Epson printer since the old dot matrix days.


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Cat Dancer




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD




----------



## David Baxter PhD

The Impossible Bridge​Made with no meat at all. 100% vegetable ingredients.​


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Error page at a pet website:


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

_"I don't know where the eggs come from, and I don't know why I feel a compulsion to hide them."_​


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Originally posted here:








						Banana Facts
					


Banana Facts Chiovitti Banana Company Published 2016; Retrieved Feb 24, 2021                                                     Banana Facts Bananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of...




					forum.psychlinks.ca


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




----------



## Daniel

When you vent to the wrong person:


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Vegan BBQ:


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## David Baxter PhD

One word: earbuds.   🤣


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

Hilarious AND inspiring "boundaries" spray:

Mindfulness Spray - Unf*ckwithable, Badass Boundaries + Self Love Blen


*Front of the label: *
Not today satan. Not. Today. My self-love ray gun is on full blast, and I will not be trifled with today, sir! So, y’all can take your doubts & drama and bounce.

*Back of the label:*
You are Unf*ckwithable, baby. Nobody's gonna mess with your peace and positive vibes. Boundary lines have been drawn + all the drama lives on the other side. Later, haters! (*skips off throwing confetti)


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

Amazon product


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

_*"Why should we use our products when we can use good ones?"*_


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Therapy Everyone Can Afford
					


For only pennies per cyber-session, you can connect directly with one of our many license-adjacent counsellors.





					www.newyorker.com
				




*Siggy, the HealScreen Therapy Chatbot*

“👋 Hi! I’m Siggy! I noticed that you’re interested in working through your emotional trauma! O.K., great! I can help with that! My therapeutic artificial intelligence allows me to knowledgeably and compassionately process more than two dozen common questions pertaining to your mental problem! O.K., great! Please select one of the following brain mistakes:

Hopelessness

Anger

Confusion

Some other defect?

Still there? Don’t be shy! Go ahead and make your selection now!

Still there? Don’t be shy! Go ahead and make your selection now!

Still there? Don’t be shy! Go ahead and make your selection now!”


----------



## Daniel

Therapy Everyone Can Afford
					


For only pennies per cyber-session, you can connect directly with one of our many license-adjacent counsellors.





					www.newyorker.com
				




*Katrina Johnston*

“I am a certified healing leader with more than twenty-six years of experience in treating alien-abduction trauma and nothing else. But the same skills I use to help clients overcome memories of live vivisection and arena combat on a planet of pure, searing energy are readily transferable to all manner of emotional struggles. Note: I do not require my clients to have undergone torture at the hands of extraterrestrials. However, we may spend our first session together discussing how exactly you know you weren’t disassembled and reassembled, given the power of alien memory-neutralizing technology.”

*Chris Bonila*

“I’ve always wanted to help people, but life somehow always got in the way. What I love about HealScreen is that when you buy a session six-pack, it actually lets you start treating clients yourself. Like, immediately. It’s been the most rewarding experience of my life, pretty much. Sometimes I’ll panic and tell a client to stop whining about stuff that happened twenty years ago, or I’ll accidentally recommend that someone take up alcoholism, but I guess that happens to all therapists every now and then.”


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

From 1996:



                                               (My favorite is the cannibal as a "people person.")


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

$0 OFF


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Introverted but Willing to Discuss Dogs Funny Unisex Shirt - Etsy
					


This Gender-Neutral Adult T-shirts item by IntrovertApparel has 42 favorites from Etsy shoppers. Ships from Valencia, CA. Listed on May 28, 2022





					www.etsy.com


----------



## Daniel




----------



## Daniel

Work-life balance:


----------



## David Baxter PhD

By the way, love your signature quote:



> _"You have nothing to prove to anybody." — Maya Angelou_


----------



## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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Source: Amazon product


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## David Baxter PhD




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There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He selected an engineer, a mathematician, a physicist, a logician, a social worker, a lawyer, a trader and an accountant to interview and decided to select the individual that could answer the question “How much is 2+2?”

The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, “It lies between 3.98 and 4.02″.
The mathematician said, “In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof.”
The physicist declared, “It’s in the magnitude of 1×101.”
The logician paused for a long while and then said, “This problem is solvable.”
The social worker said, “I don’t know the answer, but I am glad that we discussed this important question.”
The lawyer stated, “In the case of the Crown vs. Svenson, 2+2 was declared to be 4.”
The trader asked, “Are you buying or selling?”
The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled down the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, “What would you like it to be?”


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Comedy — Karen Rontowski
					







					www.karenrontowski.com
				




She is fascinated with the “afterlife” and is convinced she will someday have a near death experience because, “I never finish anything.”

She explains, “Sometimes a ghost will just do the same thing over and over in life. That's why I want to move into a house that is haunted by a maid."


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## David Baxter PhD

^^^ I've watched videos by her on YouTube. She's hilarious.


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"Thinking u understand clinical depression b/c u experienced situational sadness is like thinking u know Italy b/c u went to the Olive Garden."

~ Paul Gilmartin


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Pour Decisions

Mistaking the $18 wine for the $2,000 Rothschild, the first manager poured the cheap wine for the businessmen. According to the manager, the businessman hosting the others considered himself a wine connoisseur, and showing off, tasted the cheap wine before bursting into raptures about its purity.


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Journalist’s ‘anti-inflation’ meal goes viral for looking like ‘a mix of wet and dry cat food’
					


He described the dish as "essentially the same ingredients as a tuna sandwich in crunchy stewish form."





					www.today.com


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I don't like to use the word "lazy," but...


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Reminds me of _Psychology Today_ articles:


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An old Dilbert comic from 1994:


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