# Anti-Arizona Humor



## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*

The first day I visited Phoenix it felt like there was a blow dryer hitting my legs. I was wearing shorts and immediately got ice cream


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## Daniel

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*

That’s funny 

It even feels like that in Ottawa some days.


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## Daniel

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*

You know you live in rural AZ when you get an alert from your town's Facebook page that a missing goat has been found.


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## David Baxter PhD

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*

It just happened in reverse in Orleans, a suburb of Ottawa:

No kidding around, roaming goat gets new home | CBC News
April 12, 2018



> A little white goat found wandering in Orléans is on its way to a new home on a farm.
> 
> A spokesperson for Ottawa's bylaw department said a resident found the animal near Trim Road and Highway 174 a few days ago and initially took it in before surrendering it to the Ottawa Humane Society.
> 
> The humane society, which doesn't have the resources to handle livestock, called bylaw for backup, Alison Sandor said.
> 
> Sandor said ordinarily the department would attempt to figure out where the lost animal came from, but there were no farms near the spot where the goat was found.
> 
> "We weren't able to find exactly where he came from," Sandor said.


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## Daniel

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*


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## Daniel

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*

Freeway messages in AZ:


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## Daniel

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*


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## Daniel

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*

These stand-up misters from Home Depot are amazing and only $13 (US) each.  

Got two for my chickens a few weeks ago, and got two more today.  

US:
Arctic Cove Big Chill Personal Stand Mister-MSDM009 - The Home Depot

Canada:  Orbit Cobra Mist Stand | The Home Depot Canada


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## Daniel

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*


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## Daniel

*Re: Anti-Arizona Humor (with a shot of anti-Snowbird)*

Had a redneck 4th of July by going to the rodeo.  Fortunately, it was relatively cool today.


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## Daniel

The weatherman about the heat in Phoenix today:

"If you are going golfing this afternoon, you will probably be the only one out there."


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## Daniel

Saw this at a rest area on my road trip today:


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## GaryQ

Daniel said:


>



Hilarious! That is of the funniest ones in a long time. :rofl:


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## Daniel

Saw my first snake in Arizona.  It was probably a gopher snake.  They are not poisonous but look scary as they look similar to a rattlesnake (minus the rattle).  

The snake was probably planning to steal an egg from my chickens, but it left the coop after he saw me.


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## David Baxter PhD

Darn egg-stealing varmints!


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## Daniel

Fun fact:



> In the United States, the states with the most types of rattlesnakes are Texas and Arizona.


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## GaryQ

You call that a fun fact? mg: 

This is a way more fun fact as far as I’m concerned:

In Canada there are NO types of rattle snakes


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## David Baxter PhD

GaryQ said:


> In Canada there are NO types of rattle snakes



You obviously haven't been following Canadian politics...


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## GaryQ

Well, compared to American politicians ours are probably just benign little grass snakes


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## David Baxter PhD

I beg to differ but this probably isn't the place for political discussions.


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## GaryQ

There goes another thread off topic :facepalm:


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## GaryQ

I’m in Manotiba, you can’t blame me for you guys voting Doug Ford in


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## Daniel

More fun for everyone:

Highway Workers in Canada Keep Running Into Rattlesnakes - Atlas Obscura


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## GaryQ

Daniel said:


> More fun for everyone:
> 
> Highway Workers in Canada Keep Running Into Rattlesnakes - Atlas Obscura



And more 

read the article: “But even if you are bit, you’re probably going to survive. The last deaths from Massassauga bites in Ontario occurred decades ago,”

i bet the snakes even apologized: “I’m so sorry, i don’t know what came over me, i just couldn’t help it. I didn’t mean to kill him just wanted a little bite all in good fun”


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## Daniel

By the way:



> No one has died from a Massasauga bite in Ontario in more than 50 years, and only two deaths resulting from a Massasauga bite have ever been reported in the province.
> 
> https://www.ontario.ca/page/massasauga-rattlesnake



It seems in the States that one typical victim is an adult male who is trying to handle or kill the snake.  Another typical victim is a hiker going off trail who steps on a snake, is bit, and only then sees the snake.  At least 99 percent of rattlesnake bite victims survive.


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## Daniel

Stupid Motorist Law - Wikipedia

The "Stupid Motorist Law" is a law in the U.S. State of Arizona that states that any motorist who becomes stranded after driving around barricades to enter a flooded stretch of roadway may be charged for the cost of their rescue...

The need for the law came from the lack of storm sewers in the deserts of the Southwestern United States, combined with heavy rainfall in the desert, usually associated with the summer monsoon...

Only six inches (15 cm) of water is required to reach the bottom of most passenger cars, which can cause loss of control and possible stalling. Most passenger cars will float in just 12 inches (30 cm) of water, and 24 inches (61 cm) of water will sweep most vehicles (including SUVs and pick-ups) away.


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## Daniel

The McDonald's in Sedona, AZ:


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## Daniel

McDonald's is giving Americans the chance to win McDonald's for life.   Check the app for details.   (And check your health insurance coverage for cardiovascular screenings.)


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## GaryQ

I guess if I won something like that never worry about constipation for the rest of my life


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## Daniel

Yeah, someone should write a book about the many hidden benefits,  including  near-death spiritual experiences after eating large fries.


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## Daniel

I don't need air conditioning, and neither do you - The Washington Post

In 2009, Chris George, now a Washington Post digital editor, voluntarily gave up air conditioning for a year while living in the inhumane heat of Tempe, Ariz., mostly out of environmental concern. “I’ve been called many variations of the word ‘insane,’ ” George wrote in the Arizona Republic of the experiment, during which temperatures reached 103 degrees _inside his home_. But he also learned that “comfort is really just what you’re used to.”


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## David Baxter PhD

Yeah right. 

At those temperatures, I can't even breathe properly.


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## Daniel

Yeah, even livestock needs to be treated better than that.  My chickens have misters, fans, and tons of shade.


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## David Baxter PhD

Exactly.



> “I’ve been called many variations of the word ‘insane,’ ”



Can't say that surprises me at all.


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## Daniel

It is only 5:20 AM, and the traffic reporter in Phoenix is already saying "I-10 is not your friend."


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## Daniel




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## Daniel

One of these was in my shed today:

Western diamondback rattlesnake - Wikipedia

My neighbor removed the rattlesnake and moved it a few miles away.


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## David Baxter PhD

I really do not like snakes.


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## Daniel

Your comment reminded me to close up the doggie door mg:


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## gooblax

At least snakes in Australia are considerate enough not to rattle.


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## GaryQ

gooblax said:


> At least snakes in Australia are considerate enough not to rattle.



Sneaky little bastards down under, eh? 

 @Daniel why didn't you take a picture to show us the actual intruder?  :lol:


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## Daniel

I wasn't home, but my husband has a video of the snake.  I refuse to watch it anytime soon


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## Daniel

Life In America Really Is Nasty, Brutish, And Short - Business Insider

As expected, the US has the most violence among the 17 "peer" countries in the study...

Canada is practically a bastion of safety for those Americans who make it across the border.


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## Daniel

Yesterday, my neighbor had his second encounter this month with a rattlesnake.   

Dogs are supposedly 20 times more likely than people to be bit by a rattlesnake, so I have to babysit my dogs now every minute they are playing in the yard.  At least I will get more exercise this way  

(I am also getting accident insurance for the dogs.  Fortunately, the dog who is mostly likely to get into trouble -- the puppy -- is fully insured already.)


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## GaryQ

Somehow I fail to see the humor in that one 
unless you update later with a post saying you got bit while keeping an eye out for the dogs and forgot to keep an eye out for your own behind


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## Daniel

We will start a new thread on AZ horror stories 

Sent from my Z839 using Tapatalk


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## David Baxter PhD

I think horror stories can also be funny sometimes.


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## Daniel

Like bagged milk.   

Sent from my Z839 using Tapatalk


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## David Baxter PhD

Exactly. Despite stories to the contrary, I think a lot of people in Canada hate bagged milk.

Among other things, it tends to allow the milk to lurch out of the bag in large quantities with no warning.

It is also sometimes difficult to keep from getting knocked over in the fridge. Or on the table. This little pitchers have a narrow base.

And maybe most importantly, look at all the plastic required:


the plastic bags containing each liter of milk
the larger plastic bags holding the individual plastic bags of milk
the plastic closer on the large plastic bags containing the best before date
the plastic "snippers" many people use to cut the corner of the milk bag
the plastic pitchers you need to hold the plastic bag of milk once it opened (mandatory because plastic bags don't stand up on their own)

All in all, not only annoying but very environmentally unfriendly. I really don't know why people continue to use them.

I buy my milk in 2 liter waxed paper cartons and I don't need or have to contend with all those disadvantages and accessories.


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## GaryQ

That brings back memories from back in Québec.
Only thing you could get in family size was the 3 bag bag of milk. I hated them mainly for the odd time when grabbing a bag to discover it had acquired a hole somewhere along the line. Plus you had to keep a fresh box of baking soda in the fridge all the time or the milk could acquire the taste from other stuff in the fridge 

Here, milk is only available in the tradition waxed cardboard for 2L and smaller sizes, and plastic jugs for every size up to 4L. 
That's also a lot of plastic but they are recyclable. 
Definitely easier to carry. 
Stand up by themselves.
Not much risk of spilling when cap is on. 
They also seem to stay fresh at least 3 or 4 days past the best before date. 

I buy the 4L 3.25%. (get almost twice as much fat, In other words FLAVOR, for a couple extra pennies compared to 2% watered down milk)

Speaking of horror stories! Anyone remember powdered milk? Man that stuff was horrible. :yuk:
Tasted just as bad as coffee whitener, if not worse. I wonder if they still make/sell that stuff???


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## forgetmenot

lol i hated the smell of that powdered milk   We were raised on it cheap and could be watered down to go farther blah


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## GaryQ

Interesting how we went from:

Anti-Arizona humor to
Not funny rattle snake story to
horror stories are funny to
bagged milk being funny to
how David hates bagged milk to
we don’t have bagged milk here to
powdered milk is blah

rder: Daniel, David, Gary and FMN,
you are all hereby reprimanded for being fftopic2:


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## Daniel

*Re: Anti-Canadian Content (Laughing With Us, Not At Us) Pt. 5*

Phoenix is No. 1 in the nation in this unwanted political category

The Phoenix market topped the nation in the number of political ads on broadcast TV between Sept. 3 and Oct. 16, with 41,000 spots.


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## GaryQ

Speaking of American Politics in Arizona.....


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## Daniel

Sears closing: Nostalgia for retailer fails to reflect reality

"It was the perfect storm for millennials to not have any emotional nostalgia. If you told them Amazon was going to go away, there might be riots," Dorsey said. "Sears basically invented the catalog, and yet we have millennials who don't even check the mail."


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## GaryQ

Sears is perfect example of bad management decisions over many decades they were already on a fast decline even before the internet changed the face of retail shopping. They stuck with their dying business model and the last sears catolog was published in 1993 long before the internet was even known or used by the average person and almost 20 years before the ensuing internet shopping convenience gained major acceptance and traction.

Growing up the sears catalog was the default and pretty much only way to know all the things we could add to our gift wish list. After all we only got limited tv commercials. The thing was bigger than most phone books. Another thing that’ll soon disappear.


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## Daniel

Other "retro" stores that didn't make it: Toys R Us (which is still alive in Canada), Circuit City (which is making a small comeback), and Service Merchandise.


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## David Baxter PhD

That was one of the reasons for the decline and fall of Sears. Another is that they never really seemed to recognize or understand their target demographic (followers).

And what's especially sad is that they had many precedents that should have alerted them to the problem. 

Eatons used to target the mid-range shoppers in their products. Then they built that massive Eaton Center in Toronto and decided to go high end. What that did is alienate their customer base and because it was new kid on the block in the high end market and that market still associated them with "middle class" products they weren't able to replace their old customer base with a new one.

Sears made some similar mistakes. They failed to recognize that the low end had become overrun with Zellers, Woolworth, etc., and then those companies disappeared and were replace by Target and Walmart, both of whom did it a lot better. They still had some market left in the midrange, especially after the fall of Eatons, but their prices were too high, their website sucked, and their delivery policies were pathetic. For a while, they at least had some specialty items like their Kenmore line of appliances but they let quality control slide on those and suddenly Best Buy and Walmart claimed that market too. 

The Sears brick-and-mortar stores, at least in Canada, also sucked. No imagination or display sense. Products crammed in like a Value Village store. Just not customer friendly at all.

And they failed repeatedly to recognize and reward their employees or the importance of customer service.

Companies like Eatons and Sears should be compulsory case studies for what not to do in any marketing course.


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## David Baxter PhD

Daniel said:


> Other "retro" stores that didn't make it: Toys R Us (which is still alive in Canada), Circuit City (which is making a small comeback), and Service Merchandise.



And Radio Shack.


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## Daniel

Oh yes! _The_ source for floppy disks and dot matrix printer paper.


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## GaryQ

RadioShack was a go to for electronic components before the internet. Even back to the mail order days before the iconic brick and mortar shops we all knew. But ordering components by mail order took forever especially to Canada so in isolated communities they were the go to albeit at a higher price. Convenience was worth it back then. 

If you read up on Radio Shack, then RadioShack and the history all the way back to the beginning you’ll notice that it was one of the top players in the computer and electronics market for the longest time under the Different and multiple Tandy leather company name changes. 

What is is mind blowing is the number or acquisitions, transfers and sales before and after being sold to Circuit City RadioShack filed a petition and won to retain the RadioShack name because of a breach of contract terms and hence the name change to The Source by Circuit City then simply The Soutce when BCE Bell Canada Enterprises bought out the source.

another fact is that RadioShack name acquired by some company (too lazy to go back and look it up) is still technically alive on artificial life support as they filed for Chapter 11 protection in 2017. The website is still selling at this point but it seems unclear what the status is.


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## Daniel

Oh I am remembering now about Tandy, etc.  

I loved the Radio Shack catalogs.   I signed up this morning for their online newsletter, and I am already working on my online order 
They also have some "stores within a store" in some parts of Arizona, etc. 

A blast from the past:


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## Daniel

A gas station in the Phoenix area accidentally sold gas for 2 cents a gallon (for a half hour):

Glitch at Chandler gas station sells gas for 2 cents per gallon | Arizona News | azfamily.com


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## Daniel

(The opposite is true in the winter.)


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## Daniel

Pictures from my backyard:





Fortunately this will all be melted by tomorrow.


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## Daniel

Unexpected record low this morning  at 6F or -14C but still warmer than Winnipeg now and Ottawa tonight:

[S][/S]


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## GaryQ

Daniel said:


> Pictures from my backyard:
> Fortunately this will all be melted by tomorrow.



according to today’s post you’d probably make a great weatherman


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## Daniel

Truck spills 3,500 gallons of chocolate across Arizona highway
January 14, 2019


Flagstaff, Arizona turned into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory on Monday when a tanker truck spilled 3,500 gallons of it across Interstate 40.

The "river of chocolate" flowed onto the highway's westbound lanes east of Flagstaff...

The tanker was transporting around 40,000 pounds of 120-degree liquid chocolate, officials said.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Arizona Is Buying Back Its Capitol Buildings : NPR
January 16, 2019

...Congratulations to Arizona, which is buying back its own state capitol building. During the Great Recession, the state sold the capitol and other buildings to raise money. Think of the math. The state raised $700 million in the short term, then it leased the buildings back, promising rent payments projected to total far more than the sale price - free enterprise. *A decade later, the state is borrowing money to buy the capitol back.*


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## Daniel

On a serious note, Arizona is a self-care option for SAD:



> And as much as possible, I make the journey home to sunny Arizona for a few weeks during the winter months, although that’s not always feasible on my grad student stipend.
> 
> How I learned to cope with seasonal affective disorder in grad school | Science | AAAS


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

High in Phoenix on Tuesday will be 97 F (36.1 C).


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## Daniel

Item that caused Phoenix freeway closures found to be a traffic counter

A suspicious item caused the closure of three freeways in downtown Phoenix during rush hour on Wednesday, but it was found to be a traffic counter placed there by a government contractor.


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## Daniel

"Florida Man" has competition:


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## Daniel

Summer seems to have officially started.  Had to start misting the chicken coops continuously for some time.    Got some of the mist myself and it was wonderful 

Just thankful I don't have to mist cats:


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## David Baxter PhD

Do you mist the dachshunds?


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## Daniel

Haha.  No.   But close...we have an evaporative cooler to stay cool inside without costing as much as A/C.


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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel

From the Arizona Dept. of Transportation:


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## Daniel

AZ license plate:


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## Daniel




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## Daniel

The weatherman in Phoenix gave his condolences yesterday to any travelers who are visiting now that the heat has started.

Phoenix forecast in Celcius (going there Sunday for a birthday party):



Could be worse.  Just wish the party was last week.  Weather has been unusually cool until now.


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## David Baxter PhD

Good grief and yikey-yikes! That is hot!


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## GaryQ

Was 35c here today currently 34c at 5:20pm Air conditioner paying itself off. Going back to cooler temps tomorrow. 

Be grateful the party’s not on Wednesday. Yikes 43c That’s getting  close to baking cookies on your dash and summer hasn’t officially started yet.

But complaining it’s hot in the desert is like complaining it’s cold at the North or South Poles. No?


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## Daniel

> But complaining it’s hot in the desert is like complaining it’s cold at the North or South Poles. No?



I don't know why anyone does live in Phoenix except it's not too cold in the winter.   A lot of people do have pools.   But it's bad enough that some people even have remote sensors in case the electricity/AC goes off while they are at work (and their dog is home).

As long as there is a Dairy Queen on the way, I will somehow suffer through  :icecream:


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## GaryQ

I did find it ironic though that the “feels like” is cooler than the actual temperature.

In the prairies here it usually close to or above the actual temps.
Along the Eastern big cities like Toronto and Montreal it usually feels like 35c when it only 25c


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## Daniel

The weather forecast has heated up some more to 105F/41C on Sunday, so I will be removing all caloric restrictions on anything cold 



GaryQ said:


> Was 35c here today currently 34c at 5:20pm Air conditioner paying itself off. Going back to cooler temps tomorrow.



Do they ever have any good temperatures?    Glad it's getting better tomorrow.


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## GaryQ

Make sure you stay hydrated and maybe sustitute your food intake from stuff like kale or birdseeds for things like french fries and chocolate chip cookies (the real unhealthy kind is very important!) That way if you get baked by the sun in the vehicle on the drive there you'll at least smell good 

It's a dry heat and I know you lived in Florida so 41C is probably easier to tolerate than 35C out there.


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## GaryQ

Daniel said:


> Do they ever have any good temperatures?    Glad it's getting better tomorrow.



we get the joy of being able to change what we compain about constantly. From Damn it's cold to damn it's hot.

It's actually awesome here in Manitoba in spite of the potential for temperature extremes. I don't think I'll ever miss the humidity out east. You feel like you're swimming when walking outisde in the summer and in the winter you could dress like an eskimo (correction inuit) and the damp cold just eats through to your bones. Breathing there is difficult in all weather conditions... here it's mostly only when we hit the "hell freezing over" point. Like when C and F both agree on how friggen cold it is at -40


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## David Baxter PhD

That's true. It's the humidity that destroys us in the east. It can be unbearable. But Florida is like that too. At least southern Florida.


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## Daniel

The ocean breeze is nice though, like being on vacation.  Otherwise, you can get the Everglades swamp experience 

So the best way to enjoy South Florida is to have a condo/apartment near the beach.   They are relatively affordable if not on the beach itself, especially with roommates (potential headaches).


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

#PhoenixLogic


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## Daniel

The heat though is a good distraction from the crime and wrong-way drivers 

Some stores in Phoenix like CVS even lock up body soap behind glass because of frequent shoplifting.


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## Daniel

At Kohls.com today:


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

Now THAT is funny!


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

Not sure I understand this. Is there flooding in Arizona now?


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## Daniel

David Baxter said:


> Is there flooding in Arizona now?



No.   When it does rain though (which isn't often), it is sometimes a monsoon -- causing flooding.  And parts of Phoenix, including some roadways, are not well equipped to deal with much rain.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

Phoenix weatherman during a noon broadcast this week:

"We are already cooking, people."


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## David Baxter PhD

We are finally cooling off a bit after a miserable week of heat and humidity.


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## Daniel

Makes it harder though for the pizza to stay warm during delivery


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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## David Baxter PhD

Daniel said:


>



Trump comes to visit you?


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

You know you're in Arizona when...

The hospital menu has a design-your-own-burrito option.


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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel




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## Daniel

__





						$300 gold tooth donated at Arizona Salvation Army thrift store
					






					www.msn.com
				




The employees at the Salvation Army Thrift Store in Quartzsite got quite the surprise in one of their red kettles — a gold tooth!

“In the past, Red Kettles across the country have received gold coins, valuable jewelry and checks of large dollar amounts, but this gold tooth is right up there on the list of unusual donations.”


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## Daniel

"What's the best essential oil for a compound fracture?"


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## David Baxter PhD

This guy can often be hilarious.


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## Daniel

Doctor Not Sure How To Break News To Patient That He Born In America
					


CHARLESTON, SC—Confessing that this was always the hardest part of his job, local oncologist Dr. William Barlowe told reporters Friday that he wasn’t sure how to break the news to his patient that they were born in America. “It’s sad, but as a medical professional, I have no choice but to sit...





					www.theonion.com
				




"All I can do at this point is try to make living with U.S. citizenship as tolerable and pain-free as possible. It never gets any easier.”


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