# My Story



## FarmerSteve (Jan 4, 2009)

Last year was the first time I sought help, or more importantly even talked about, my emotional/mental issues. I think it all started in my childhood...with my mom. She was very touchy, she would swing from normal to abusive to loving, all in a days time. I remember one incidence in High School where I was sitting in my room studying and she came out of nowhere and started screaming at me, telling me I didn't love her, all unwarranted. During High school I started to notice my own mood swings, but I was able to keep it to myself. Outwardly I could act "normal" even friendly to strangers, but inside I didn't feel so right. 
My coping strategy during High school was running, I would run 60-80 miles a week, two runs a day. My senior year I got sick and had to take some time off, so in order to get in shape for college I picked up purging. No matter how much I ran I always felt too heavy, felt like I had weights attached to my ankles, and purging made me feel like I was getting back on track. 
When I got to college I was able to stay healthy for two seasons, but going into spring I got injured. This was my first run in with depression. Without running my life seemed somewhat empty, I was rarely in good moods and life generally sucked. I continued to get injured on and off for the next two years, never able to compete during that time.  My second year of college I met a girl and we really feel in love. A few months into it I started to have problems, my moods would swing wildly. We would be having a good time and then snap, I was Mr. Mean. I became irritable and generally not a nice person. However I would have these glimmers of super happy times, extremes. Eventually we broke up...for the best. 
A few months later I met another girl, and repeat. 
During the bad times I knew I shouldn't be acting like I was, I couldn't snap myself out of it. During the good times I was nuts, super energetic, happy, smiley, life was good. 

A few months ago I finally spoke to my PCP about all this and he prescribe me Prozac. It was a three month period and after the first month I felt pretty good. But a month after the medicine stopped I went back to the old ways.  A few days ago I was prescribed a higher dosage, but its making me feel kinda insane...

Sorry this was sooooo long...


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## white page (Jan 4, 2009)

HI farmersteve ,


> A few months ago I finally spoke to my PCP about all this and he prescribe me Prozac. It was a three month period and after the first month I felt pretty good. But a month after the medicine stopped I went back to the old ways. A few days ago I was prescribed a higher dosage, but its making me feel kinda insane...



I read your story with sympathy , not long at all btw.

did you have therapy whilst taking prozac .  I'm not sure what a PCP is but I'm assuming he is a psychiartric practitioner .  when are  you seeing him again ?

best wishes wp


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## Jazzey (Jan 4, 2009)

I agree. Not long at all FS.  Thank you for sharing your story with us.  I know it's not easy to tell our stories sometimes.

WRT the medications - Have you done a little search through the forums here?    There are some resources to explain some side effects of medications.  Off the top of my head, I think that it'll take some time for you to get accustomed to the new dosage and/or, find the right dosage that works with you.  

Again, I'm happy you posted!


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## Daniel (Jan 4, 2009)

> I'm not sure what a PCP is


Primary care physician/provider.   Around where I live, the PCPs are comfortable prescribing one antidepressant at a time.    Otherwise, a psychiatrist is needed.


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## Into The Light (Jan 4, 2009)

sorry to hear of your troubles steve. i am glad though you are trying the medication again. 

was there any reason why you stopped the medication after 3 months? typically to get the full benefit of an anti-depressant one should take it for a year before discontinuing, just to "reset" the brain back to normal functioning and to keep it there before letting the brain handle things on its own.


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## white page (Jan 4, 2009)

Daniel said:


> Primary care physician/provider.   Around where I live, the PCPs are comfortable giving out one antidepressant at a time.    Otherwise, a psychiatrist is needed.



Thanks Daniel !  

In that case Farmer steve , it might be a very good idea to see a psychiatrist who  would make a more in depth diagnosis for the reasons of your mood changes , and maybe give you more appropriate specific meds . according to the diagnosis .


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## NicNak (Jan 4, 2009)

I am glad you shared your story Farmer Steve   It was not so long, no worries 

Like Jazzey says, it is not easy too, but glad you feel comfortable to do so. :support:

Is there any way you can call your PCP to talk about the how the higher dosage is making you feel?  Or make an appointment to discuss it?  Maybe they can get you a Psychiatrist or Psychologist.  Specialty doctors are so very helpful.

I always make sure my doctors know if I feel any uncomfortable symptoms.  Makes it easier for them to help us more 

Hope you feel better soon Farmer Steve.

I again say :welcome: to Psychlinks and glad you share your story today :support:


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## FarmerSteve (Jan 4, 2009)

Into The Light said:


> sorry to hear of your troubles steve. i am glad though you are trying the medication again.
> 
> was there any reason why you stopped the medication after 3 months? typically to get the full benefit of an anti-depressant one should take it for a year before discontinuing, just to "reset" the brain back to normal functioning and to keep it there before letting the brain handle things on its own.



Not exactly sure, but the Dr. only gave me two refills (3 months total) and soon after the first refill he left his practice so I was in between PCPs. It took awhile (maybe 3 months) to schedule an appointment with my new PCP.  

I am currently seeing a therapist, which is good because it gets me talking more, however it might be better if I see someone more in the know about my meds.

*FarmerSteve added 2 Minutes and 29 Seconds later...*



Jazzey said:


> I agree. Not long at all FS.  Thank you for sharing your story with us.  I know it's not easy to tell our stories sometimes.
> 
> WRT the medications - Have you done a little search through the forums here?    There are some resources to explain some side effects of medications.  Off the top of my head, I think that it'll take some time for you to get accustomed to the new dosage and/or, find the right dosage that works with you.
> 
> Again, I'm happy you posted!



I have done some research on the medications. I have had the feeling that I had more bi-polar tendencies and read some info along the lines that Prozac alone is not a good course. Any info on that?


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## Jazzey (Jan 4, 2009)

I agree FS - I don't think that any medication, without therapy, is sufficient.  I am treated for severe depression.  When I first came here, I ready a lot of the forums - for instance the one on Therapy and Therapists helped me to appreciate that I needed both the meds and the CBT with a psychologist.

There is also a lot of info on bi-polar issues.  And I think the forum has that name too.

So I'm happy that you're in Therapy.  I think this is a good course of action.



> Prozac alone is not a good course


 - Were you asking if you needed other medications?  I don't know - I am a layperson.  But definitely something worth asking your psychologist or psychiatrist...


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## David Baxter PhD (Jan 4, 2009)

> I have had the feeling that I had more bi-polar tendencies and read some info along the lines that Prozac alone is not a good course. Any info on that?



Standard disclaimer: Do not try to diagnose yourself or obtain a diagnosis online/ It's simply fraught with danger and a high probability of misdiagnosis.

That said, the issue with SSRIs like Prozac is, if the individual truly _*is*_ bipolar, they might triiger a hypomanic or manic episode and/or trigger rapid cycling bipolar.


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