# Long-distance relationship makes me hurt



## jinn (Nov 7, 2012)

I don know whether it is good to talk about it here. But i feel miserable, really.  

He said he is now paining because he cannot have a good career and cannot be with me, he even dislikes my missing him which carries him pressure. He requires me to be grown up and psychologically mature so that he will not feel tired with our relationship. How many times I wish he were here, will i stop the need for him? How to be mature in handling relationship? I love him so much that cannot give up him. So i am alone here, paining and aching heart


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## David Baxter PhD (Nov 7, 2012)

Jinn, it's hard to know how to respond to your post without some background or context. As far as I know, you haven't told us anything about this relationship so, to be blunt, your comments are coming out of nowhere.


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## adaptive1 (Nov 7, 2012)

I know it hurts but if you are miserable and alone is the relationship worth it?  I don't think it's f air for someone to tell you how you should feel, you have a right to your feelings. Did you ever consider maybe you deserve better than this?


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## jinn (Nov 7, 2012)

I am sorry for the bad expression , i just want to say out the feelings.

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adaptive1 said:


> I know it hurts but if you are miserable and alone is the relationship worth it?  I don't think it's f air for someone to tell you how you should feel, you have a right to your feelings. Did you ever consider maybe you deserve better than this?


thank you, i will try to release the feeling or make a try to think about our future. but i cherish this relationship it is hard to get back my love from him


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## adaptive1 (Nov 7, 2012)

Just my opinion, but you won't release the feelings until you are out of the relationship. If you don't get back love from him you have your answer.


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## W00BY (Nov 8, 2012)

I have been in a long distance relationship for 7 years.

Boy that slow slide down to separation again has it been tough, the nice times together are lovely but then there is the knowledge that he needs to go again and you will be left wounded and alone.

It absolutely screws me up, I have struggled with ambivalence towards him at times because of how hurt I get.

What I would say is you need to have a good handle on what is good in your relationship, I have a terrible abusive relationship previous to my partner to compare my new partner with and that always brings me back to knowing he is worth the strain.

He is loving caring thoughtful etc and I used to interpret his organization of his belongings to go home as being cold and uncaring but it's not it is his way of dealing with the pain of having to leave me, he also used to tell me not to cry etc until I told him it was my way of dealing with the strain of the situation.
He's still not comfortable about it but he understands why I do it now.

We try and communicate as much as possible through text etc and I did eventually push that he moves in with me so he has saved money and started a new course to expand his employment prospects once he moves in.

If you love each other it will work out, communication is the key


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## michavalos (Nov 12, 2012)

Long distance relationship is somehow painful because you cannot see anytime the person you love. I can understand the pain because I experienced this one, what made me think is that, I hope teleportation was invented so that I can go anywhere anytime I want in no time. Just be strong always, you might think also in your own life and career, focus on the things that could make you a better person, we might not know, there will be time that both of you could be together.


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