# Feeling Safe



## suewatters1 (Oct 24, 2008)

I assume many people who are depressed have family to lean on to. I don't. I have my counselors this forum and the Hotline and a friend sometimes when he is available to listen to me.
But I live alone and most of the time I try to get rid of those pesky thoughts but I would love to be somewhere where I feel *safe and secure*. I don't feel like that at home. If I talk to my friend I feel better while I talk to him because he knows everything but then afterwards I feel lonely. I want to be able to be at home and have this *safe feeling*. When I go to counseling I feel *safe* then when I leave it's like I lost my security blanket.
It helps me to post on this forum my thoughts but I just want the *SAFE FEELINGS* and *not the afraid and overwhelming feelings*.
I have *nothing* at home that make me *feel safe and secure* except sometimes my Internet.  I wish I knew a place where I can get that *SAFE FEELING*.

I just needed to get this of my chest so to speak.

Sue

Sue


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## Into The Light (Oct 24, 2008)

can you bring your safe feelings out by visualizing your therapist's office? can you visualize your friend? is there anything else that makes you feel safe? like a certain object, or a memory of something?

another option might be to draw what safe means to you.

does any of this help?


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## suewatters1 (Oct 24, 2008)

Thanks ITL I understand what you are saying.The first time I cut myself was the night after seeing my therapist that day and the second time was the day after I saw my therapist. I have no object that makes me feel safe, my memories are making me feel the way I feel right now Hurt Lost Sad and Confused depressed. 
My friend hasn't been as reliable in the past because of his own issues now his talking to me more so that helps some but to visualize him I can't because I want to be more then friends with him and I am not sure if he really feels anything for me in that way.
I wish somebody would put their arms around me and say "shh you are safe I am here for you" and just let me cry all the hurt out.

To draw what makes me feel safe would make me sad because It's only a picture and I would want the real thing. Knowing I don't have it in front of me would make me sad and upset.

ITL You have great ideas but not sure if there is one that would work for me but I will keep what you wrote in mind.

Thanks

Sue


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## Into The Light (Oct 24, 2008)

have you ever considered a pet to alleviate some of your loneliness?


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## suewatters1 (Oct 24, 2008)

Sometimes; but I can't take care of my house or myself right now so that wouldn't be to great and I grew up not really liking animals that much. Don't want anything jumping on me.

Thanks for the suggestion

Sue


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## FeelingLost (Oct 26, 2008)

the bit you said about, the feeling safe and losing your security blanket feeling, i feel that alot (not in terms of counsellors though, just in general) - for years, not sure if it goes away though...its just part of your personality, and the person you are and will be, so just make it your friend so to say instead of not accepting it...if there's nobody around to give you a hug, as is usually the case with me (what you said about other people hugging you or comforting you etc...from my perspective, ive felt if i did seek comforting people just see you as a burden, and though they may care they have there own problems and dont have time and will probably pass you by as you are struggling forward, so you'll have to do your best on your own to comfort yourself) just wrap yourself in a warm blanket / hot water bottle/coat (helps with panic attack which ive had, just sit still wrapped in a warm blanket for a few minutes until it passes), make yourself hot tea and watch something funny when you feel worst

Sounds like you might have agrophobia? going out...green veg help the brain from going mad and also relax the brain, as do carbs....protein does the opposite (protein helps maintain energy levels and sugar levels for longer)...for depression - eat bananas and turkey (for serotonin)...and sometimes fish but not tuna (tuna can contain mercury as it absorbs it from the sea and depress you/make you go mad/paranoid) also too much fish can race the brain make you too hyper and make you magnify every detail because it increases the metabolism...so if you eat fish you must eat something thats starchy or a carbohydrate with it...only eat fish twice a week. the important thing is to eat a balanced diet (no vitamin supplements)

also if you live somewhere with high pollution/smoke, metals can be absorbed into your body, heavy metals in the body can cause all types of mental problems (confusion, paranoia, lack of concentraton, etc)-vitamin C is a good way to escort the heavy metals from the system

Sigmund Freud, claimed *depression is a reaction to loss*, and *anxiety is a reaction to threat*. what did you lose? anything from a person, relationship, job, self-esteem, sense of self, self-image, a behaviour, a feeling, sleep, your keys?

apart from the big losses, that have got you down, the small losses daily are the ones that hold you down and make you not be able to do things. think bitesize, and do one new habit a day to add to yourself, so you're not losing, you're gaining - pick yourself up slowly


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## suewatters1 (Oct 26, 2008)

Thank You. 
The need to feel safe is only on the days my depression gets worse. I have people who love me like family and co-workers but when I am depress and alone at home and they don't know know I have a major depression it is hard.

For me to have a safe place is a place where I would feel the love of a friend and know I am not alone in this world. So I could go maybe go to my aunt's house and stay in her spare room or I might be able to go to a friend's house when I am really really down. That came to my mind yesterday. My friends know everything that is going on in my life even the cutting. I emailed him yesterday and talking to him today I got the impression I can count on him anytime I needed him. Since he is very shy he didn't actually say I can stay over when I am really down but I know him very well. So if I ever get a day where I feel so so bad I will call him for help. 

Because to have that safe place means I know I don't have to deal with all my problems on my own and to know I would not be alone during my difficult times. It's like a cry for help during the rough periods.

Sue


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## Mari (Oct 26, 2008)

H! Idontexist



> (no vitamin supplements)



Some people under the care of their doctor and nutritionist do require vitamin supplements. To say 'no vitamin supplements' might be contradicting the medical advice of a person's doctor. I have a medical condition that requires a vitamin supplement because I am not able to absorb enough regardless of my diet. :dimples: Mari


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## FeelingLost (Oct 27, 2008)

that's what i mean, unless its been prescribed by your doctor - too many people take supplements day-in day-out, self-prescribed


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 27, 2008)

> Sigmund Freud, claimed depression is a reaction to loss, and anxiety is a reaction to threat. what did you lose? anything from a person, relationship, job, self-esteem, sense of self, self-image, a behaviour, a feeling, sleep, your keys?



Although these terms are no longer commonly used, one needs to make a distinction between reactive depression, which is a reaction to an identifiable external event, and endogenous depression, which has no identifiable external cause or trigger.


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## Always Changing (Oct 27, 2008)

> I want to be able to be at home and have this *safe feeling*


 
Is there a way to make your home *Feel* like it *IS* *Your *home, can you make any physical changes to it? Maybe a small change\difference will make a diff to how you feel there.?

:hug:


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## suewatters1 (Oct 27, 2008)

When I am home alone I am ok when I am not to depress when I am so so depress I don't want to be alone I want to be in somebodies else home with other people even just to sleep for the night. It lets me know I have people who love me and it like in my mind I think "things will be ok. Things will get better". 
I know people love me but when I am depress thinking suicide. I think that I am all alone dealing with what is causing my depression and it gets overwhelming to the point I can't take it anymore. I know people love me but my brain doesn't register the amount of love I have from friends and family. It's like my hurt is so strong stronger then the love of my family and friends.
So going to somebody else home. I would see the love and I would feel the love of those people and it would make me feel like everything is going to be OK.

Sue


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