# Emotionally Immature?



## Cin (Sep 29, 2005)

Does the concept emotionally immature exist? And if it does how does one "grow up"?


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## Cin (Sep 29, 2005)

Does the concept emotionally immature exist? And if it does how does one "grow up"?


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## Impunity Jane (Sep 30, 2005)

Does it exist? Yes surely.  Children are emotionally immature - they have no control over their emotions, they have unreasonable expectations that the world revolves around their feelings, they want immediate gratification without thinking about the longer term negative consequences...they become more mature with time, but some less so than others.

How do you become more emotionally mature...I don't think the nature of our emotions change, but I think you start recognizing that your emotions are just one part of you, and not the part that should be running your life.  You also realize that other people have emotions, that should count as much as yours do.  You still experience your feelings but stop inflicting them so much on other people, and you use your head more to guide your decisions, rather than just your emotional reactions.


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## Impunity Jane (Sep 30, 2005)

Does it exist? Yes surely.  Children are emotionally immature - they have no control over their emotions, they have unreasonable expectations that the world revolves around their feelings, they want immediate gratification without thinking about the longer term negative consequences...they become more mature with time, but some less so than others.

How do you become more emotionally mature...I don't think the nature of our emotions change, but I think you start recognizing that your emotions are just one part of you, and not the part that should be running your life.  You also realize that other people have emotions, that should count as much as yours do.  You still experience your feelings but stop inflicting them so much on other people, and you use your head more to guide your decisions, rather than just your emotional reactions.


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## Cin (Oct 9, 2005)

Thank You


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## Cin (Oct 9, 2005)

Thank You


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 9, 2005)

Great reply, Impunity Jane.



> Children are emotionally immature - they have no control over their emotions, they have unreasonable expectations that the world revolves around their feelings, they want immediate gratification without thinking about the longer term negative consequences...they become more mature with time, but some less so than others.


Children are essentially egocentric at birth - the world literally revolves around them, at their beck and call, and other things in that world, including living things, do not exist except as an extension of themselves. This egocentricity gradually evolves into the adult who is capable of empathy, perspective-taking, and consequential (cause-effect) reasoning and planning. 

This is in part a function of the developing frontal lobes. The frontal lobes are the last to emerge from an evolutionary standpoint and the most underdeveloped at birth. Indeed, the frontal lobes continue to develop throughout adolescence and into the mid-20s for many people. This is the part of the brain that makes us capable of higher-order reasoning and impulse controls, delay of gratification, planning, perspective-taking, etc. If you consider that this part of the brain is still very much underdeveloped in adolescence, it makes sense of some of the behaviors in teens that parents find so frustrating.


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 9, 2005)

Great reply, Impunity Jane.



> Children are emotionally immature - they have no control over their emotions, they have unreasonable expectations that the world revolves around their feelings, they want immediate gratification without thinking about the longer term negative consequences...they become more mature with time, but some less so than others.


Children are essentially egocentric at birth - the world literally revolves around them, at their beck and call, and other things in that world, including living things, do not exist except as an extension of themselves. This egocentricity gradually evolves into the adult who is capable of empathy, perspective-taking, and consequential (cause-effect) reasoning and planning. 

This is in part a function of the developing frontal lobes. The frontal lobes are the last to emerge from an evolutionary standpoint and the most underdeveloped at birth. Indeed, the frontal lobes continue to develop throughout adolescence and into the mid-20s for many people. This is the part of the brain that makes us capable of higher-order reasoning and impulse controls, delay of gratification, planning, perspective-taking, etc. If you consider that this part of the brain is still very much underdeveloped in adolescence, it makes sense of some of the behaviors in teens that parents find so frustrating.


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