# Please Stop Saying, "Suicide is a permanent solution..."



## David Baxter PhD (Jan 26, 2014)

*Please Stop Saying, ?Suicide is a permanent solution ??*
By Franklin Cook, SPNAC Editor
March 5, 2010

 I have worked in suicide prevention and suicide grief support for a  little more than a decade, and for the past year and a half (since the  SPNAC blog was launched), I?ve scanned hundreds of articles on this  tragic subject. In the course of my encounters with what is said and  written in communities across the country and on the Internet, I have  been subjected about a thousand times to the declaration ?suicide is a  permanent solution to a temporary problem,? and I cannot hear it one  more time without crying out: Please stop saying that!

 I know that it must seem like a clever and even a helpful thing to  say (or else why would people have kept saying it, right up to the point  where it has become nothing less than a cliche but with the power, I?m  afraid, of an axiom). The declaration seems clever, I suppose, because  it has the pleasant sing-song rhythm of an advertising jingle, like ?I  am stuck on Band-Aid, ?cause a Band-Aid?s stuck on me.? And it seems  helpful because, of course, it is true: Indeed, _suicide is a permanent solution._

 But here?s why I argue that we should stop saying it:

 The statement violates the age-old principle that what we communicate  ought to be designed specifically with a focus on the audience for whom  the particular communication is intended. ?Suicide is a permanent  solution to a temporary problem? might strike _someone who is not suicidal_  as a clever statement, and it might be a helpful thing to hear from the  point of view of someone who already believes (or is likely to be  convinced) that _his or her problem is temporary._ But the audience for this anti-suicide ditty is, of course, _people who are suicidal._

 As Edwin Shneidman points out in his article, _Ten Commonalities of Suicide_,  ?The common purpose of suicide is to seek a solution.? So emphasizing to a suicidal person that suicide is a _permananet solution_ is as likely to be unhelpful ? or even harmful or dangerous ? as it is to be helpful.

 The problem a suicidal person is trying to solve, according to Shneidman, is how to escape from _psychache,_ which Shneidman defines as ?intolerable emotion, unbearable pain, unacceptable anguish ? [that] _cannot be abated_  by means that were previously successful? (emphasis added). In other  words, from the point of view of someone who is earnestly considering  killing himself or herself, the pain from which suicide would provide  escape _is not temporary._

 Even though the perception that the pain is permanent is not  accurate, the strategy of trying to convince a suicidal person that his  or her pain is temporary is as likely to be counter-productive as it is  to be productive.

 For one thing, a suicidal person might be  irrational regarding the subject of whether his or her pain is  permanent or temporary. _Irrational_ might not be the right word  for it, but what lies at the core of many suicidal people?s dilemma is  that the usual cognitive tools we rely on ? such as reason or logic ?  are not available to them in their battle with their dark,  self-destructive thoughts. So relying on a logical explanation of the  nature of their pain to ?convince? them of something could be  ill-advised both because it might be fruitless and it might be seen as  argumentative (?Your pain is temporary.? ?No it?s not.? ?Yes it is.?)

 In addition, saying, ?Look, your pain is only temporary,? might  minimize or negate the importance or validity of the person?s feelings,  sending the message that he or she is wrong about the nature or value of  the pain. It also might be taken as judgmental or condescending (the  speaker knows what pain is really like, but the suicidal person is  mistaken about it). Finally, it might oversimplify the ultimate  solutions to the underlying problems that are causing the person?s pain,  for the jingle suggests, in part, that if a person would merely believe  that his or her problem is temporary, then all would be well.

 Perhaps I think too much about this sort of thing, for in fact, I could write an entire post, as well, on the use of the phrase _completed suicide._ The field ?invented? the phrase, so the story goes, to replace _successful suicide_ because _successful_  is a positive term describing a negative event (we don?t want to  characterize a suicide attempt as being ?successful? when someone dies  and as ?failed? when someone lives). But if the word _successful_ has positive connotations, isn?t it starkly obvious that the word _completed_  has them, too, just as much or even more so? We don?t say ?completed  heart attack? or ?completed automobile accident,? we say ?fatal,? and  that?s what we ought to say with suicide, as in _suicide fatality_ or either _fatal_ or _non-fatal sucide attempt._

 It is true generally of all communication, but it is absolutely vital when it comes to messages about suicide  that we think before we speak.


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## forgetmenot (Jan 26, 2014)

It is so true every time i see that word permanent solution just reinforces what one wants that is suicidal  a permanent end to all suffering 
  i hated reading that saying because it made me want to leave even more


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## Retired (Jan 26, 2014)

> suicide is a permanent end to all suffering



I don't see it that way..I see suicide as a permanent end to all options to find a solution to the problems that are at the root of all the suffering.

As long as you remain alive, there are always options that can be explored.


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## David Baxter PhD (Jan 26, 2014)

I think the point is that suicide is not a "solution" at all. It's an escape. An end. And that is perhaps the author's point - that we need to stop reinforcing the idea that it is a "solution" of any kind.


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