# When loneliness strikes



## Atlantean (Mar 6, 2009)

Last night I had another episode of loneliness. Since my husband left my son (nine months) and I, I periodically go through these bouts, which were only exacerbated by the fact that for the last two years my husband and I had been together 24/7.

I cant get out because of the baby, and I really am very reclusive, so Im in a dilemma of how to make friends, when I dont have the desire to go out and I really wouldnt know where to begin, if I did.

Mom thinks I need a female friend, when in the past all my friends have been male. I have issues with most females, and find it difficult to relate to them (Though not on here since we all have so much in common), and I just dont know what to do.

Any suggestions?


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## Jazzey (Mar 6, 2009)

*Re: when lonliness strikes*

Do you have any hobbies?  I was thinking joining a club of some sort where you could meet others - male and female.

Also, here in my city, they have daily matinees at the movies for what they call the "mommy club" (it's open to dads too  )  where you go and see a movie with your child.  I understand that it's a wonderful way to meet people.

Here they also offer such things as "mommy and me yoga" and other exercise classes.  Maybe something along these lines Atlantean?


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## Atlantean (Mar 6, 2009)

*Re: when lonliness strikes*

Those are all terrific ideas. I dont know how many of those sorts of things are available here where I live, but I can look into it. I especially like the mommy and me yoga, idea. then I can meet other moms with babies and find friends for my Lil' Feller.

I just got the greatest of news though, My husband is going to come home. It wont be until next month when he gets the money, but Im absolutely thrilled. We are going to start therapy together (Im already in therapy), and I think things will really work, this time. We have both changed a lot in the time hes been gone.

So Yay!  :jiggy:


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## Jazzey (Mar 6, 2009)

*Re: when lonliness strikes*

:yahoo:  Great news Atlantean!


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## arlene (Mar 6, 2009)

Keep your self busy with thing that you know you'll enjoy doing.. Like a hobby maybe. Don't worry you'll get used to it..Sometimes it takes time for us to admit to our self of whats happening to our life.


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## Halo (Mar 6, 2009)

That is definitely great news about your husband Atlantean and also that you are going to do therapy :2thumbs:

But Jazzey did have some good ideas about getting out with your baby and meeting other people.  I hope that there are things like that in your area.

Take care


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## Jackie (Mar 7, 2009)

Sorry to hear how your feeling being lonely is just soul destroying. That is such good news about your husband and the therapy!

I can relate to how you feel about female friends, most of my mates are male, just prefer their company even after what I have been through, just feel more relaxed, especially with gay men, they are so nice to be with


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## Atlantean (Mar 7, 2009)

arlene said:


> Keep your self busy with thing that you know you'll enjoy doing.. Like a hobby maybe. Don't worry you'll get used to it..Sometimes it takes time for us to admit to our self of whats happening to our life.



LOL, well the problem with that is my hobby keeps me isolated, though it serves as a good general distraction.


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## Jazzey (Mar 7, 2009)

All of my hobbies are hobbies that I do on my own Atlantean...Currently trying to be adventurous enough to get some new hobbies.   (for me - hiking, rock climbing with a club here, and a diner club that I'm trying to organize - where we would take turns cooking meals in our home and it would be thematic according to ethnic dishes... )


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## stargazer (Mar 7, 2009)

That's great that your husband's coming home.  Very doubtful that my wife is coming home, though, being as it's been 17 years now.  (Just kidding!)  Actually, I have periods of loneliness too - I find it usually helps to keep my mind engaged (with hobbies, activities, etc.),but there are some nights when nothing works (like last night).  For me, that is when the loneliness seems to be based on feeling misunderstood, and feeling disconnected from those whom I love because of the misunderstandings.  If they won't talk to me (which in this case they won't), then I don't know how to bridge the gap.  But I take heart in that one can always meet new people and try new things.  That's what I'm doing now, and for the most part, it's working.  I was "saved" from huge loneliness last night by a surprise phone call from a good friend, my friend Alex, whom I've known for over thirty years.  He had unearthed among some old boxes an actual hard-bound diary of mine from 1977, among with similar writings from others of our friends.  He has no memory how it all came into his possession, but as he read to me what I wrote to myself in 1977, we went into hysterics.  That certainly absolved my loneliness for the time being.  Laughter is also good medicine.  Well, I'm rambling!  But just wanted to say that I can identify, and also express that I'm glad your husband will be coming home, and the two of you will go into therapy together.


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## forgetmenot (Mar 7, 2009)

Hi Atlantean.  I hope your able to find something you and your son can do together that involves other moms.  You can maybe have play dates for your children as well.  

Take care and i hope all goes well with your husband and you.

Best wishes
Mary


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## Atlantean (Mar 7, 2009)

mary said:


> hi Atlantean i hope your able to find something you and your son can do together that involves other moms you can maybe have play dates for your children as well take care and i hope all goes well with your husband and you  best wishes mary



Yeah, I really liked the idea of mommy and me yoga... I was thinking it would be great to connect with other parents and find playmates for my son, as well.

Thanks for the well wishes.


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