# Another one lost to suicide...



## Banned (Mar 31, 2018)

I've lost a crazy number of people in the past couple years to suicide.  I found out about another one today.

As someone who struggles with my own mental health issues, these events are very triggering for me.  A part of me always mourns the loss of the person, but another part of me admires their courage in being able to do something I'd like to but can't.  It starts an inner battle in me...wishing I could, knowing I can't.  At least not right now.  But oh how I wish I could.

I can't really avoid these triggers.  They get posted to my wall, I see them in groups, I get text messages...and avoidance isn't really the solution.  People die.

It just brings such conflicted emotions to me.  It's hard.  Really hard.


----------



## GaryQ (Mar 31, 2018)

Turtle said:


> As someone who struggles with my own mental health issues, these events are very triggering for me.  A part of me always mourns the loss of the person, but another part of me admires their courage in being able to do something I'd like to but can't.  It starts an inner battle in me...wishing I could, knowing I can't.  At least not right now.  But oh how I wish I could.



AS someone who often feels that way I'm happy that you keep fighting. Somehow the fight to survive rather than to take the easy way out is worth it in the end even if at times it feels like the opposite is true.

Hang in there Turtle!


----------



## forgetmenot (Mar 31, 2018)

I hear you Turtle i do  as i struggle with same thoughts  

 I too am glad you are able to stay here with us  as you also can see the devastation it can bring to family members left behind.
I am Sorry you are struggling right now and hope you have supports around you to help you through this tough time.


----------



## Retired (Mar 31, 2018)

Sorry to hear about the loss of someone you know to suicide, Turtle.  Yes, being in proximity to a suicide can be triggering, but we have to keep in mind that despite the challenges we deal with, there are times when we feel joy and satisfaction for accomplishment, and those feelings can only be experienced by staying alive.

Like others here have shared, I too have experienced thoughts of suicide at various times in my life.  

Thanks to the support and love of family and friends, I made it past those thoughts, and I know that the good times are well worth staying alive.  These experiences led me to be a proponent of living with hope...like the motto I adopted with my signature....that hope is the fuel of life.

It's not unusual to be triggered by someone else's suicide, which is why the next few weeks and months can be difficult.  Be sure to reach out if and when similar thoughts cross your mind and know that we are here to help.


----------



## Banned (Mar 31, 2018)

Thanks guys. I was already really struggling to start with and now this. My therapist is also a priest so he’s kind of tied up this weekend so I don’t have access to him. I don’t really know where else to turn. I’m just so sad.


----------



## forgetmenot (Mar 31, 2018)

It is very  sad when the pain overrides everything  it is sad when one loses their battle 

  I hope you continue to talk here ok keep talking here Turtle we understand and i really don't want you to feel alone ok. 

  It was not courage that took this person away it was pain and the inability to see past it or the inability to reach out for some hope from someone. 

  Just know you are not alone ok


----------



## forgetmenot (Mar 31, 2018)

It  takes so much more courage to stay it really does


----------



## dominthomas (Aug 23, 2018)

I too lost few of my friends through suicide. Its the worst thing to do in this world.


----------



## GaryQ (Aug 23, 2018)

Sadly many of us have lost a friend or loved one to suicide and many of us here have struggled with the thoughts of doing it ourselves at some point in our lives. Some of us struggle with the dark thoughts of it on a very regular basis. Some of us, including myself, are struggling with it at this current moment in time

On the forum here we try really hard, not by obligation but by compassion, to support and encourage each other when this happens. And we try and remind people that when all hope seems lost when the tunnel seems like it has no end that there is a light at the end of it and if we keep walking in spite of the fear that it feels like there is no way out, in the end we will see the light at the end of the tunnel. It doesn’t mean it won’t be a long,hard, difficult and frightening experience but sooner or later the sun will shine again. 

It is something that can be found over and over again in so many threads throughout the forum. We believe in trying as best we can to make sure the light is always on even in the middle of the night in case someone reaches out for help. Not because we have to but because we’ve been there and as others have helped us through these hard times we want to help others as best we can to get through the dark and difficult time when all hope seems lost


----------

