# Things are getting much worse



## Into The Light (Jul 16, 2006)

i'm really scared right now. this week was a very stressful one for me and i did not sleep much. yesterday i pretty much could hardly get up. same thing is happening today. at least i took a sleeping pill last night and i got a full night's rest, but the effect of that seemed to wear off really quickly this morning. i am at a point where i feel i cannot go to work. i don't see my therapist til wednesday. i have no one i can talk to. physically i am worn out, probably due to lack of eating. my husband is really frustrated with the whole situation so i have no support from him today. what can i do, how can i get my energy back? i am really scared i won't be able to get out of bed soon. i need to go see my gp tomorrow and i need to get out to my therapist, what if i can't even drive by then? please help.


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## Into The Light (Jul 16, 2006)

*Re: things are getting much worse*

i also felt a panic attack coming on but i took a pill for that too, i had those a few months ago but they stopped, i am feeling really overwhelmed and afraid, i don't know how i am going to get out of this situation i am in. i need some advice, how can i calm myself down? i have a plan for this week, i know what i need to do to get help, i am just afraid i won't physically be able to get it, i am afraid of the nights, afraid i won't sleep, afraid i'll be drained even more. i'm so scared, i have no one who can help me.


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## Cat Dancer (Jul 16, 2006)

*Re: things are getting much worse*

I can relate a lot to what you said. I'm struggling with similar feelings right now. 

If you feel like it, maybe you could read this article:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/index.php?topic=3873.0

I really hope you feel better soon. Sometimes for me it's just a matter of waiting and knowing the horrible feelings will not be so horrible if I can hold on. 

I wish I could help more. If you feel like it write some more to us about how you're doing. We're here for you.


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## David Baxter PhD (Jul 16, 2006)

What are the "pills" and doses you are taking, bbc?

If you're feeling too anxious or exhausted to drive to see the doctor, wouldn't your husband be available to drive you?

As for work, I think under the circumstances you'll just need to have your husband call and tell them you are ill and going in to see your doctor.


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## Into The Light (Jul 16, 2006)

i took an ativan for the panic attack. my doctor also prescribed me a sleeping pill, can't remember the name of it right now.

i want to go see my gp first thing in the morning (7 am), which means the kids will still be at home, so my husband would be with them.

i won't be making it to work at all this week. i just cannot deal with what's going on there right now.

thanks janet for the link, i will take a look. i just feel so strung out right now i don't know how i will ever sleep again.


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## David Baxter PhD (Jul 16, 2006)

Has the panic attack subsided? what is the dose of Ativan?


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## Into The Light (Jul 16, 2006)

yes it has. the dose is 1 mg.


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## David Baxter PhD (Jul 16, 2006)

OK, that's good. You said the sleeping pill helped last night, right? I would suggest you take another one tonight to help you get a good sleep - that should at least reduce the anxiety enough to get you to the doctor tomorrow morning.


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## Rosa (Jul 16, 2006)

(((baseballcap))) I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I honestly wish there were something I could say that would make all this go away, unfortunately theres not. I can say though, that I have been exactly where you are now in feeling I can't go on, I can't make it to work, I can barely get out of bed, etc, and I want you to know that somehow you will feel better. Going to your GP tomarrow morning is a good start. Hopefully, they can help you out and work with your therapist to get you the help you need. I know its not easy but try to be kind to yourself. What's going on is not your fault and your being very strong by reaching out for help. We are here for you, please post as much as you want. Can you by chance contact your therapist and get an appointment faster than Wednesday? 
Take care and I'm sending safe hugs
In friendship
Rosa


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## Rosa (Jul 16, 2006)

Thats a great suggestion Doctor B. I know with me not being able to sleep is one of those signs I have to watch out for-in other words, when I find I can't sleep thats just a start of other things falling apart. I would definately take another sleeping pill tonight to help you out til you see the doctor. 
As always
Rosa


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## Into The Light (Jul 16, 2006)

david, i think i just may have to do that and take another sleeping pill tonight, as much as i don't want to need them.

rosa, i have thought about calling and getting my appointment with my therapist moved but his office is closed on mondays and i doubt i can get it changed to tuesday. i tried moving it to tuesday a few weeks ago and they said he had no openings. but i will call anyway, maybe if i am lucky he's had a cancellation.

my head's just spinning right now. i wish i could just stop worrying about everything.

rosa i do feel like i am on the verge of falling apart and it is really scaring me. i can't afford to have this happening, not now. this is going to be a very difficult week for me but if i can accomplish a few things that i know i need to do, then i will be ok.


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## Rosa (Jul 16, 2006)

((((baseballcap))))) it will work out. I know how hard things seem right now but I also know things will work out if you just hang in there. Again I wish there were words I could share that would be of comfort (i'm in tears just knowing how painful this is for you), but you will get through this. You said this is a difficult week can you take a few things off your plate so that you have less to deal with? Its ok to put things off. 
Safe hugs
Rosa


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## Rosa (Jul 16, 2006)

Is there a 'safe place' you can go to-even if its just in your head....just some place where you feel safe and comforted? One of my safe places is to lay down with my dogs and remind myself I'm safe. protected, etc..
Rosa 
I know how hard it is to breathe, but try to focus on your breathing if you can go to a safe place


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## Rosa (Jul 16, 2006)

ok I just thought about something I did recently that helped when I'm overwhelmed. I made a list of EVERYTHING that was making me feel overwhelmed. I was surprised to see the list wasn't that big. I then sat back and decided one by one how I'm going to deal with each item. I was amazed at how writing it down and being able to cross things out or decide I would deal with them later how much more in charge I felt. This really helped. 
Hope it helps you too. 
Rosa


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## Into The Light (Jul 16, 2006)

hi rosa, the reason this is going to be a difficult week is because i have steps i can take to get myself back on track. the problem is two things, first, my energy level to be able to go out and see my doctor, therapist, and massage therapist, the second, the time away from work that this will require. work right now is a very bad place for me, they've changed our hours and want us in more. they are becoming very inflexible. so if i take time off from work to try to get better, it will be expected that i work extra hours to make the time up. but i just don't have the energy now.

so this week is going to be difficult because i am going to end up being out all week and i am going to get in trouble for it. i just somehow have to muster up the energy to see all these people who can make me feel better. i can't do that and go to work.

i just don't know how well i can cope this week with all this pressure. all i know is that my first priority is to get myself functioning again.

as for a safe place.. i dont think i have one. i wouldn't know what it would be 

the list thing, that is a good idea, i will try that. thank you.


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## Rosa (Jul 16, 2006)

I'm so sorry to hear about the changes at your job. I have alot of problems when it comes to changes and it sounds like they are adding even more pressure to you when you don't need it. I'd say just try to step back, take a breath and deal with this one thing at a time. Try to focus on one day at a time and thats it. I wish you the best and while I know how hard this is, I know you will get through it. 
A safe place is a place I can go either physically or just mentally, where I feel safe. Perhaps you can think of a place like this for you. Again, it can just be a place in your head where you can imagine being but that feels safe and comforting. 
I better run for now but my thoughts are with you. 
In friendship
Rosa


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## David Baxter PhD (Jul 16, 2006)

bbc, your doctor can take you off work for a while after you see him/her tomorrow. Your employer may not like it but there are labor laws - when someone is ill and has documentation from a physician, they have to honor that.


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## Into The Light (Jul 16, 2006)

this is precisely why i am going to see him. i can't afford the drop in income but i don't seem to have a choice right now. maybe he will have suggestions on how to best handle the situation.


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## foghlaim (Jul 16, 2006)

BBC: i'm really sorry tohear you are having such a tough time of it.. lack of sleep can make a lot of things seem worse than they really are, not saying they are not tough, but lack of sleep certainly doesn't help. I'm glad you took davids advice on the sleeping tab. it sounds like you really need it and not just for one or two nights, try them for a full week and see how you feel then ok.

"all i know is that my first priority is to get myself functioning again."
you definately have your priorities right BBC, something has to give and if it's the job then so be it. If you are feeling so bad that you can't work anyway then it's pointless going in.  time enuff to worry about having to make up the time ok. cross that bridge when you come to it ok. 

Rosa's idea of a list sound like a plan to try.. i hope it sorts some things out for you.

thinking of you ok. and if you have no other safe place then maybe this forum can be that place to get u thru the tough times..???

wishing you strength and hopefully some good sleep.

nsa


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## Into The Light (Jul 16, 2006)

hi nsa, it's more than the lack of sleep. i am physically weak. i can hardly stand up for more than 5 minutes unless i walk. if i walk it's a slow pace. i can barely pick up my 2 year old. i weighed myself and i have lost 5 pounds in the last 3 weeks, and i am a small person to begin with. yesterday mentally i was fine, physically all i wanted to do was lie down. today i went for a walk in the hopes that exercise would give me a boost but it just wiped me out. i feel ok at the moment and am turning in early. things will get better. i just have to keep telling myself that.

part of my plan for this week is to take the week off work, and focus on getting to all of my appointments, and focus on eating regularly again. it will take a lot of work shopping for and preparing meals but if i have the week off then i can do it at my pace.

thanks for the suggestion of the forum being a safe place. i had come up with my therapist, actually, so now i have 2 safe places to think of. you guys are great, thank you for all the support. it really helped me today.


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## Halo (Jul 17, 2006)

BBC

I just wanted to say that I hope that your appt. with your doctor goes well this morning and that you are able to move your appt with your therapist up a day. Also, please try not to worry about work (I know easier said that done right?) If you need to be off for yourself to get better than that is what is going to have to happen. They can and will survive without you (trust me on this....I am slowly learning that I don't have to do it all for everyone )

I hope that you get the help that you need and deserve. I also hope that you got a good nights sleep last night.

Take care and let us know how it goes with the doctor today.

Rosa, good suggestion about a safe place !!


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## Rosa (Jul 17, 2006)

just checking it to see how you are doing baseballcap....let us know when you get a chance. 
In friendship
Rosa


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## Rosa (Jul 18, 2006)

...still no update??? I hope your doing well and want to leave this so you'll know i've been thinking about you and wondering how your doing. 
Rosa


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## Into The Light (Jul 18, 2006)

yesterday and today were the two hardest days in my life. i don't want to describe too much what happened but essentially i genuinely wanted to die. i got the help i needed and i am ok now. i cannot describe how thankful i am that i got through what i was feeling. also i am off work for a while and this is helping me hugely. everything is going to be ok now. i am exhausted so need to get some rest but just wanted to let you know. i am so grateful my children still have their mother.


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## ThatLady (Jul 18, 2006)

It's a great relief to hear you're feeling better, that you got help, and that you're over the crisis, baseballcap. Get some rest and know we're here for you. 

Big hugs!


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## Rosa (Jul 18, 2006)

I'm so glad your ok and now you have some time to rest. Thanks for the update as I was worried about you. I too, am glad your kids still have their mother and I'm glad your here too!
In friendship
Rosa


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## Halo (Jul 19, 2006)

BBC

I am also glad that you are doing better and now that things have calmed down a bit and you know that you have some time off work than maybe you can get some much deserved and needed rest.

Take care of yourself and glad to hear the update.


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