# Negative Attention Seeking Behaviour



## just mary

What's the difference between some one expressing their own point of view and "negative attention seeking behaviour"?


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## David Baxter PhD

I consider "negative attention seeking" behavior to be behavior that is designed solely to get a (negative) reaction from another person. The person is not expressing a sincerely held point of view but rather saying or doing something for the purpose of eliciting a reaction from the other person.


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## just mary

How do you know he's not expressing a sincerely held point of view? People can be very deceptive and manipulative sometimes, as I'm sure you're aware.


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## David Baxter PhD

Well, I was responding to a general question about the definition of negative attention seeking behavior. Behavior can, of course, be multiply determined. However, I guess if a sincere opinion is being expressed then at the very least I would probably only characterize the behavior as partly negative attention seeking, the part that is designed knowingly to elicit a negative reaction.


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## just mary

I could never be a psychologist...it's all so confusing...just give me some numbers and a z-test. 

I have to think about this for awhile.

Thanks Dr. Baxter.


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## David Baxter PhD

Thinks of it this way: If someone came to me showing symptoms of both depression and anxiety, I would probably diagnose the person with major depressive episode (the depressive part of his behavior) and an anxiety disorder (the anxious part of his behavior). One does not rule out the other.

Similarly, one might have an honest opinion and express it solely for that purpose. That would not be negative attention seeking behavior. But even if the opinion was sincere, if the person expected it to elicit a negative reaction from the other person and did so partly with that goal in mind, then I would describe the behavior as at least partly (and perhaps predominantly) negative attention seeking.


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## Peanut

Great topic Mary, where'd you come up with it? 


Now my question, once "negative attention seeking behavior" has been indentified what does it mean?


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## just mary

> Great topic Mary, where'd you come up with it?



Oh, I don't know, just kicking around in my head. 



> Now my question, once "negative attention seeking behavior" has been indentified what does it mean?



Good question!


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## David Baxter PhD

I'd say it means 

1. you need to look at the fact that the person is looking for more attention, even if it's negative attention

2. you need to try to figure out why that situation is as it is

3. you need to figure out if you want to provide the additional attention the person is demanding

4. if you do want to give him attention, you need to figure out how to get him to go after positive attention rather than negative attention

5. if you don't want to give him the extra attention he is demanding, ignore the behavior or take stpes to otherwise "punish" it


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## Peanut

Wow--that is helpful...actually really helpful. :idea: It makes a lot more sense now.

My favorite thing on the entire list is this part:


> take steps to otherwise "punish" it



 :bad:


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## just mary

Are you saying I don't love my partner???

God, I love the Internet!!

Just a note, I wrote this before Toeless' response. My response is to Dr. Baxter's post (before Toeless). Isn't it interesting that our replies are so completely different. 

I just wanted to point out how we can all be different but the same. It's kind of neat. Gotta post this before Dr. B. posts a reply.

Bye for now!


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## Peanut

I LOVE IT TOO MARY!!! We can be so brutally honest here!! It's like how life really _should_ be!!


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