# Facing Unemployment: Ten Steps to Handling Your Unemployment Anxiety



## Daniel (Jul 13, 2010)

Facing Unemployment: Ten Steps to Handling Your Unemployment Anxiety
_Psychology Today_ blog: Anxiety Files
  By Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D.
February 23, 2009

 Throughout the country we hear of factories closing, massive layoffs  as companies retrench, stores going out of business and people  everywhere facing unemployment. In January,  598,000 new people were  added to the ranks of the unemployed in the United States for a total  unemployment rate of 7.6 %.  The total number of unemployed people  reached 11.6 million in January 2009. Most forecasters expect the  unemployment rate to go higher—perhaps to 9% or 10%. 

The unemployed face increased risk for binge drinking, depression,  anxiety, and suicide.  There is decreased quality of mental health, life satisfaction, and  objective physical well-being. The unemployed are likely to worry about  their financial situation, never knowing for sure when they will find a  new job. It’s a difficult time—but not an impossible one.

Over the years my colleagues and I have worked with many unemployed  people and many of us have family members and friends who have faced  unemployment. Some unemployed people may adjust reasonably well to the  situation, viewing the situation as temporary, caused by factors beyond  their control, and even as a time to get away from the stress of work.  Although unemployment is generally associated with decreased income  (unless one has a severance package), some unemployed people have been  flexible about their spending habits and have been able to adjust to the  changing situation. But many unemployed people suffer from depression,  anxiety, rumination, and a sense of hopelessness. Fortunately, there are  some guides to how to cope with this difficult situation.

*Ten Steps to Handling Your Unemployment Anxiety*:

*1. Validate that it’s difficult*. One of the most  important things to do is to treat yourself with kindness and warmth  during this time. Be compassionate to yourself. You can tell yourself  that you have every right to feel sad, anxious, angry and even confused.  You are human and these are natural feelings during this time. Having  said that, it’s also important to think of moving to the next step—as  soon as it seems feasible for you. You are not going to be better off  feeling terrible for too long.

*2. Accept the reality as it is*. There  are a lot of things that we have learned to accept in life—traffic,  unfairness, getting older, disappointments, and losses. Accepting  reality simply means that you recognize that it is what it is—without  protesting or ruminating about it. For example, Ted’s company was  downsizing and he was laid off. He finally recognized that he had to  live with what was given—however unfair and unpleasant it was. It was  hard to accept, but there really wasn’t any better alternative. At least  accepting it gave him a starting point: “Where do I go from here?”

*3. Normalize the  problem*. When you watch the news you recognize that you are not  alone. Millions of people are in the same boat. That doesn’t mean the  boat is sinking, it only means that market economies like ours go  through ups and downs. Usually a recession is followed by eight years of  growth. If you are out of work, join the crowd. But also recognize that  you will probably be back at work sooner than later. You never know.  All recessions end. And unemployment is always part of a recession.

*4. Develop a daily plan of action*. Just because your  prior job ended doesn’t mean you don’t have a current job. Your current  job is looking for a job. Dedicate a couple of hours each day to your  job search. This can include looking at ads, contacting people who are  potential leads in a network of people in your field, and asking for  more leads to contact. You can expect that there will be lots of  dead-ends, but –like sales—looking for a job takes persistence. You  never know when a job opens up and you happen to be the person they are  looking for.

*5. Schedule some fun for yourself*. Although you are  unemployed, you don’t have to be morose. Keep yourself busy by  scheduling daily activities that are interesting, fun or even  challenging. Get out your old hobbies or start a new one. Get more  exercise rather than lie around brooding. Have lunch with friends, take a  course, read a book, or travel. I suggest to people that you think of  this as “in-between time”—kind of like a sabbatical from your prior job.  You may as well make use of the time now, because when you are back to  work you will kick yourself for not having had some fun when you had the  time.

*6. Don’t put  yourself down*. Self-criticism is a major burden during this  time for you. Losing a job doesn’t make you a loser—it means that you  are part of the work force that is always changing. Write down these  negative put-down thoughts and challenge them with reality. For example,  “I’m a loser” can be challenged with the fact that you got an education, you  worked, you probably got good feedback on some things, you have friends  who value you and you are trying to help yourself. In fact, think about  how you would be kind to a stranger going through this rough time. Then,  be kind to yourself.

*7. Don’t ruminate*. If you are like a lot of  unemployed people you are spending too much time brooding and chewing  over negative thoughts like, “Why me?”, “Will I ever find a job”, and “I  can’t believe this has happened”. Unemployment is a natural condition  of free market economies and it’s important to recognize that you didn’t  make the economy work the way it is not working now. When you start  ruminating ask yourself, “Is there any productive action that this will  lead to?” If not, then plan some productive action aimed toward another  goal—for example, having fun, acquiring new skills, socializing,  exercising, etc.

*8. Join a community*. Don’t isolate yourself during  this time. Get involved in communities, such as your church or synagogue  or your alumni association. There are on-line communities, including  Linkedin.com or Facebook.com or many other opportunities to  connect with people. Getting involved in professional organizations,  political interest groups, environmental groups and other organized  activities can give you a sense of connectedness and a feeling that you  are valued. Communities help sustain us during the difficult times and  give us a larger meaning of life at all times. We weren’t meant to exist  in isolation.

*9. Help someone else*.  One of the best ways to put things in perspective is to find someone  else who needs you. There are endless opportunities to feel like you  matter. One man told me that one of the most meaningful things that he  ever did was to volunteer at a homeless shelter. Other people have found  that reading to the blind, volunteering at an animal shelter, visiting  people in the hospital, or helping others was the best way that they  could help themselves. In New York you can access countless  opportunities on the web at www.volunteernyc.org/volunteer/  or www.NYCares.org.  You can search the web for your specific areas of interest to  volunteer. This helps you feel great about yourself because, in fact,  you do matter. Someone needs you.

*10. Stretch time*.  It’s natural for you to feel a  sense of urgency in finding a job, but if you can keep yourself within a  tight financial budget and weather the storm, there really may be no  urgency. One man felt discouraged after several months of unemployment,  but when I suggested the possibility of stretching time to give himself  more of an opportunity, he felt immensely relieved. He eventually did  get a job and he looks back at that prior time as one that was difficult  but also one that helped him know who his real friends are.

 These are just a few ideas that we have found helpful in helping  people get through this difficult time. Please let us know what you have  found useful in your experience of being unemployed.
_
Related articles by the author:_


Dr. Leahy's Message on Financial Anxiety in the Behavior  Therapist, May 6, 2009 - Financial Anxieties:  Nine Steps for Coping With Your Worries
Dr. Leahy's Message on Unemployment Anxiety in the Behavior  Therapist, May 6, 2009 - Unemployment Anxiety
10 tips from the Washington Post and Dr. Leahy on how to survive  a layoff, April 1, 2009 – How to Survive a  Layoff
Newsweek and Dr. Leahy discuss financial worry, October 20, 2008  – The  Anatomy of Fear
 _Related multimedia by the author:_

Dr. Leahy explores the psychological effects of the economic  recovery on Minnesota Public Radio, September 25, 2009 - Are  We Really in a Recovery?
Listen to Dr. Leahy discuss the psychological effects of  unemployment, job searching and rejection on Wisconsin Public Radio,  September 2, 2009 - Psychological  Effects of Unemployment
Dr. Leahy was interviewed on Focus 580 NPR (Illinois) with David  Inge in an hour-long program on Coping with Unemployment, August 12,  2009 - Coping  with Unemployment
Dr. Leahy discusses the psychological effects of the recession  on NPR WNYC 93.9, February 12, 2009 – YUEI:  Mental Recession


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## Daniel (Oct 15, 2010)

*What advice does Richard Bolles have for job seekers? Positive! *
Dr. Susan Bernstein, Life/Work Transition Expert
_WorkFromWithin.com
_ 
Last week, I was a speaker at Career Reboot Camp, and heard the keynote speaker, one of my heroes, Richard Bolles, author of the career classic, _What Color is Your Parachute? _and his new book,_ The Job-Hunter’s Survival Guide: How to Find a Rewarding Job Even When There Are No Jobs._ As always, Dick was in amazing form, full of great stories and wisdom. I want to get right to the heart of the points he made to help those looking for work:*

(1) Stop saying that “there are no jobs.” It’s not true! *What  we hear in the media is only part of the story. Each year, roughtly 31  million jobs disappear. But, in a year, 32.8 million new jobs are  created. So, net-net, we actually have 1.8 million new jobs per year.  The issue is “churn.” We hear more about the job losses, and some job  titles go away forever (do you know anyone who’s a buggy whip maker?),  but new jobs and job titles are constantly popping up. Sometimes, job  titles are new. 

*(2) We need more sophisticated job search tools. *Stop  looking up jobs by title (and stop looking on the Internet, as I’ll  explain further). Titles change. Ten years ago, was anyone a “social  media expert”? I doubt it. But now, we have all types of jobs in that  arena.
*
(3) It IS taking longer, on average, to find a job. *It  used to take 14-16 weeks. Now, the average is 26 weeks. That means you  need to think about your finances and your sanity, and plan accordingly.
*
(4) Use the first few weeks of a job search to catch up on sleep. *No  kidding, Dick suggested this.  I agree! We are so tired from the blow  to our egos, and just tired from working. Don’t feel guilty. Take care  of yourself. Remember, that’s the self you need to bring to interviews.  You’ll look better if you’re rested!
*
(5) Use more than one job search method, but not more than four methods. *Research  shows that of people who use just one search method, 51% give  up  within the first month. But if they have two search methods, only 31%  give up.  So, don’t just look on the Internet. Do things like joining a  job search club, attend networking meetings, do informational  interviews…you get the idea. See people. Don’t hide behind your  computer.  And, with too many job search methods, you dilute your  efforts. So use 2 to 4 methods to look for work.
*
(6) What’s your most important possession during a job search?  HOPE! *That will keep you going.  Do whatever you need to do to maintain hope, so you have momentum.
*
(7) Don’t look for your job online.* Gosh, Dick said  this over and over again, so many different ways. I have always thought  that looking online was a way of “hiding out.” Well, data bears this  out. Only 4% of job seekers find their jobs online. Four percent! That’s  measly. Get out there, folks.  Meet real people. People care about and  want to help people. Your computer and the Internet? Sorry, but they  don’t love you or have empathy for you. Even if you talk to them. Sorry.
*
(8) Resumes don’t work as well as they used to. *  They are not the persuasive documents we think they are. No one likes  writing them (well, except maybe professional resume writers) and almost  no one enjoys reading them. We enjoy meeting people, not reading paper  reviews of people. Dick stressed using personal relationships. If you  ARE going to be online, spend your time making contacts and getting  appointments with people you meet on LinkedIn (I wholeheartedly love this last part of his advice. It’s so worthwhile to do keyword searches to find helpful people on LinkedIn, and I confess to my bias of being a gigantic fan of the LinkedIn community.)

*ALL great advice, and I encourage you to take it.* I  picked up one other great morsel during the Q & A portion of Dick’s  talk. An audience member, who is also part of the clergy, noticed that  Dick was really talking about seeing opportunities. So, instead of  calling the collection of activities of looking for work a “job search,”  this gentleman proposed saying that he was on a “job opportunity  feast.”

*Ah!  I love it!  A “Job Opportunity Feast.” *The  smorgasbord of choices out there! If you are tuned to looking for  opportunities, you will see them. Why not envision a feast out there,  and everyone you meet can point you to some other delicious dish — a  helping of connections, a serving of companies to consider, a dash of  industries to consider.

 What treats are you  putting on this table? Let’s make a job opportunity feast together! Take  a moment and post your best job search ideas here.


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## Daniel (Jun 20, 2011)

5 Clever Ways to Get a Job Using Social Media


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## Daniel (Jul 19, 2011)

Rejection: The Hell in the Hallway - Psychology Today

...One of my favorite visual images for the job search process is in the classic book What Color Is Your Parachute -- it's a page with the word NO written hundreds of times-until the very last word on the very last line which says YES. It doesn't matter how many no's you get: all you need is that one yes. And it doesn't even have to be the "perfect" yes. Most jobs don't start out perfect: we craft them into perfect.


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## Daniel (Sep 22, 2011)

Top Tips for Job Hunters: Start with the Right Frame of Mind | Psychology Today


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## Boris1234 (Sep 24, 2011)

Daniel said:


> *What advice does Richard Bolles have for job seekers? Positive! *
> * (7) Don’t look for your job online.* Gosh, Dick said  this over and over again, so many different ways. I have always thought  that looking online was a way of “hiding out.” Well, data bears this  out. Only 4% of job seekers find their jobs online. Four percent! That’s  measly. Get out there, folks.  Meet real people. People care about and  want to help people. Your computer and the Internet? Sorry, but they  don’t love you or have empathy for you. Even if you talk to them. Sorry.



Well, that answered my question as if I should continue my usual relentless on-line job-searching on Monday or if I should take time to reassess what I am doing. 4% ay?  That makes sense as to why I feel like I'm screaming at a wall. Alright, Monday and maybe part of Tuesday I'm reassessing what I'm doing and try to come up with a different strategy.

Thanks Daniel.

---------- Post added at 01:26 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:16 AM ----------

The nut has been cracked, I am hiding, I am feeling shame that I had to move back in with my Mom after college.

Hell, I'm posting under an obvious fake name.


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## Banned (Sep 24, 2011)

> *(8) Resumes don’t work as well as they used to. *They are not the persuasive documents we think they are. No one likes writing them (well, except maybe professional resume writers) and almost no one enjoys reading them. We enjoy meeting people, not reading paper reviews of people. Dick stressed using personal relationships. If you ARE going to be online, spend your time making contacts and getting appointments with people you meet on *LinkedIn* (I wholeheartedly love this last part of his advice. It’s so worthwhile to do keyword searches to find helpful people on *LinkedIn*, and I confess to my bias of being a gigantic fan of the LinkedIn community.)



This is true in part due to the power of connecting and getting out there, and also in part by the quality of resumes which are often produced.  I used to see two events repeatedly occur - I would receive a beautiful resume with cover letter, not a spelling error or typo, relevant information...it was awesome.  Then I'd get the candidate and in to say there were a dud would be an understatement.  It was more than obvious they didn't write their own resume, which is ok, but you need to at least be able to live up to what is on the paper.  

The other scenario I get is the opposite - 99% of resumes are crap.  Typos, no detail, poor grammar, things scratched out in pencil after it was printed on the computer, no attention to detail, etc.  Some of the candidates would be great based on their personality and conversations with them, but those little things like attention to detail are what I'm looking for in an employee.  

People are not taught to write the way they used to be.  Resumes are getting poorer and poorer with each passing day.  I think that, too, is why they are no longer as important.  They just don't convey what they used to or were intended to, sadly.


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## making_art (Sep 24, 2011)

One thing I found really useful recently was a program where I live that offers free resume and interview workshops. I went to the interview workshop and then they scheduled a mock interview with an employment counsellor. This was a mock interview for a new job interview I was having the next day and I found that really useful. I had already had a pre-screening interview by phone for this new job. The real interview was more difficult then I thought it would be but just going through the mock interview made it far less difficult.


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## Daniel (Sep 24, 2011)

Yeah, I think most colleges offer that service to students and alumni.  

Also:

How to Find the Perfect Job in 10 Agonizing Steps


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## Daniel (Oct 23, 2011)

15 Biggest Job Seeker Mistakes

...Many people assume only young job seekers are making these mistakes; but in reality, both new and seasoned candidates face different challenges that cause them to slip up, says Kip Hollister, founder and CEO of Hollister Inc., a New England staffing firm.

Younger applicants approach their job search with a “what’s in it for me” attitude, Hollister says. They lack humility and their expectations exceed their qualifications.

Seasoned job seekers, on the other hand, oftentimes come across with more attitude, indicating they may be uncoachable or won’t adapt to a new career environment, she says. They’re challenged with keeping their resum? competitive and they have unrealistic salary expectations...


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## Daniel (Oct 25, 2011)

Unemployed and Ruminating: Seven Steps to Turning it Around | Psychology Today

The Shame of Unemployment | Psychology Today


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## Daniel (Feb 24, 2012)

Your Reputation Is Your R?sum? - Technology Review
February 24, 2012

...Employers are catching on. In January, clients started giving Amish Shah, CEO of tech recruiter Millennium Search, a laundry list of sites that candidates must participate in to be considered. 

"One company wouldn't look at candidates whose LinkedIn profiles had less than 100 connections," Shah says. "Candidates had to be tweeting actively about the right things. They needed to be blogging and answering questions on Quora. A home run would be a presentation they'd given at a conference, with a video on YouTube and slides on SlideShare."

Earlier generations might view such naked exposure as a double-edged sword. After all, answering a question online can reveal ignorance as well as expertise. In the emerging online ecosystem, though, it may be more important to contribute to the community than to demonstrate individual mastery.

"Community isn't just about relationships—it's about becoming smarter and better at what you do," says Jonathan Reed, an enterprise staffing consultant. "You may think you understand something, but blog about it and you'll get 20 comments telling you you're wrong. It's an accountability loop between you and your colleagues, and it changes the way we think about careers."


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