# Goodbye to an old friend



## Charity (Aug 17, 2009)

I just found out that a guy I went to school with all the way from kindergarten shot and killed himself last week. I don't know any more details than that yet. I hadn't talked to him in a while; we weren't close friends or anything-- I'm just in total shock. His brother is the father of my cousin's son. It's so weird... hearing like this that someone I've known my whole life has just killed himself, I mean...?! 

I guess I shouldn't be all worked up. We weren't close, and this isn't the first time a friend has died by suicide, but------- 

Hmmm. I don't know what else to say. I'm not even quite sure why I'm posting about it. I just need to process this news, I guess. I'm completely floored.


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## Andy (Aug 17, 2009)

This is kind of a touchy subject for me, but I wanted to say

:support: I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. :support:


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## Daniel (Aug 17, 2009)

> It's so weird... hearing like this that someone I've known my whole life has just killed himself, I mean...?!


Yeah, and I've never personally known anyone who has committed suicide. 

BTW:



> Recent data show that rural men have a much higher risk of suicide...perhaps attributable to the higher rates of gun ownership in rural areas.
> 
> Psychiatric nursing: contemporary ... - Google Books


Though this may not apply to this case, I currently live in a rural area, and my next door neighbors on both sides of me own guns.  That, along with  with less mental health resources in rural areas, could be part of the puzzle for some people.


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## Charity (Aug 17, 2009)

Daniel,

I'd say it certainly does apply. Most of the people I know have several guns in their home; it's just a normal part of life here. There are actually quite a few suicides-by-gunshot around here each year. I don't know why I'm so stunned to hear of another... I just never would have thought it possible in this case. Such a goofball, a silly fun-loving never-serious doofus. 

R.I.P., Heath.


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## Retired (Aug 17, 2009)

Charity,

I'm sorry for the tragic loss of your acquaintance.  Is his suicide triggering you in any way?

Sometimes hearing about the suicide of someone we know, or someone with whom we've been in recent contact,  triggers thoughts of suicide in ourselves.  

Doctors, especially psychiatrists are aware of this and would not be surprised if such thoughts were reported. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should not let them simmer, but should reach out for support.


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## white page (Aug 17, 2009)

Charity ,
I am so very, very sorry about your school friend, It is such violent news to hear, I'm glad you wrote about it here, we need time to process such news, an uncle of a close friend chose this way too, though I'd only met him half a dozen times, it also shocked me deeply.So I do understand.

take care Charity. thinking of you


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## Charity (Aug 17, 2009)

TSOW-

Thank you for your concern-- but no, I'm not feeling any of _those_ sorts of feelings. I'm just feeling very intense surprise and shock! It's always surprising to some extent to hear of a suicide, I think, but there are some people who just seem such unlikely candidates... 

Other people I've known who died by suicide... well, N. was in jail at the time, K. used drugs and had recently moved far away, etc. I could sort of make it make sense when I heard. I'm sure _something_ was going on here; it just wasn't something that the casual bystander could see. He had a wife and a two-year-old as well... It's got to be awful for them.


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## Retired (Aug 17, 2009)

Thanks Charity!

It's distressing indeed to hear about someone's suicide, because often it's totally unexpected.

Someone in my family whom I admired committed suicide many years ago.  When I think of her, it still makes me feel very sad.  

As it turned out, I spoke to her a few weeks before she died, and her demeanor did not suggest any clues she may have been in crisis.

Suicide always affects those who are left behind, and is never the solution for the problem.


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## ladylore (Aug 17, 2009)

Sorry to hear that news.

It is shocking to hear that someone we have known, have known of or ran in certain circles with has committed suicide.


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## SoSo (Aug 17, 2009)

hi charity,
sorry to hear about your old school friend.  would be a shock.  perhaps in time there will be answers as to the 'whys' but still leaves many in shock and grieving like his family/friends, etc.:hug:
soso


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## HBas (Aug 18, 2009)

Hey Charity,

I have seen the pain the family goes trough because my ex husband lost his brother like that. I think that you can assosiate because you know about pain ... Feeling someone elses pain is not always nice but keeps us human. I will pray for his Family.

Take care of you
HB


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## Charity (Aug 18, 2009)

*What the *$%^& is this???*

This is a quiet little town, not some big city-- but now today they pulled a body out of the small duck pond in the park. He drowned himself intentionally, left a note and everything. I went to school with his kids and used to work with his wife... What the hell is going on here? People are killing themselves!


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## Retired (Aug 18, 2009)

> What the hell is going on here? People are killing themselves



Is your part of the State particulalrly hard hit by the economic slowdown, perhaps resulting in people losing their jobs, homes being foreclosed or investments depreciated?

How do most people earn their living in your town?

It could also be coincidence, and until you learn the specifics about this man's situation, it may not be related to a community crisis.


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## Charity (Aug 18, 2009)

Yeah... I would have to say that this is coincidence. Sorry-- I think I was just blowing off a little steam upon hearing the news. It's just so unusual for there to be so much stuff like this going on around here.

He was quite obviously troubled, always. He was an alcoholic and drug user, and his daughter is far worse; they'd both been in trouble with the law on many occasions. He was unemployed, but by choice... if ya know what I mean. I don't want to badmouth the guy so I'll just stop now.

It's nothing to do with me, of course. I'm just surprised and upset to hear of these kinds of things happening in my peaceful little town, which I would normally describe as being straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. It just doesn't fit into my nice little world, and I selfishly want my nice little world to remain unshaken.


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