# What exactly changes when you take anti-depressants?



## Into The Light (Jul 8, 2006)

i've been wondering a lot about what changes when you take anti-depressants. in what way do they make you feel better? how do you know if you should be taking them? i've been struggling with this question. most days i just don't have enough energy to do the things that need to be done. i let down my family and i know i haven't been optimal at work for months now. today i feel pretty good but the day hasn't really begun yet. anyway i often think "i feel okay now so i don't need any medication" but then on the days when everything is hard and i feel worthless then i have doubts. but overall it is only mild depression so really if i just keep working at it things should get better.

yesterday though was a rough day for me and i kept thinking about how i am just a burden to everyone around me and how i don't want to be here. not that i would ever actually be able to take action that way because i could never do that to my children. they need me. i also know that underneath it all i would never really do anything, because if i were to do it i would have to make sure i would succeed and i know i don't want that. still though i was starting envision some sort of plan.

i'm just so confused. i'm optimistic today so now i think medication is probably overkill. i find it so hard to be objective and to know what i should be doing. my children need me back to normal and i feel guilty for trying to solve this thing without medication. it just seems like i am prolonging everyone's unhappiness.


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## momof5 (Jul 8, 2006)

*Re: what exactly changes when you take anti-depressants*

Hi baseballcap,

Sorry to hear how lousy you are feeling. Maybe you should make a dr appt?

I understand the need to try to do things on our own, but sometimes we need to make sure that everything is ok physically with us.

If I were you I would schedule an appt for a good physical, bloodwork etc.. with your family dr.

Hope you feel better.


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## David Baxter PhD (Jul 8, 2006)

*Re: what exactly changes when you take anti-depressants*

baseballcap, everything you have written here tells me that you should almost certainly be on some medication. You vare describing depression to a T and it's more than "mild".

Go and talk to your doctor about this.


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## Cat Dancer (Jul 8, 2006)

*Re: what exactly changes when you take anti-depressants*

I agree with Dr. Baxter and momof5 about talking to your doctor, especially because of what you wrote here:



			
				baseballcap  said:
			
		

> yesterday though was a rough day for me and i kept thinking about how i am just a burden to everyone around me and how i don't want to be here. not that i would ever actually be able to take action that way because i could never do that to my children. they need me. i also know that underneath it all i would never really do anything, because if i were to do it i would have to make sure i would succeed and i know i don't want that. still though i was starting envision some sort of plan.



Having thoughts of not "wanting to be here" is, I think, a symptom of depression that is more than just mild depression. 

I can just share my experience of being on medication in the past. The right medication, for me, gradually changed how I was feeling. I started to have more energy, to want to get up in the morning. I was able to focus much better. I just started to feel better. It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. My anxiety level went down. I wanted to live whereas I didn't before. Life just looked different. It wasn't that I was suddenly happy and giddy, but I was feeling normal ups and downs of life, not the extreme lows of depression. I was better able to handle things.


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## foghlaim (Jul 8, 2006)

*Re: what exactly changes when you take anti-depressants*

bbc.. reading your post reminded me of myself a while back, ( not that long ago actually) and i too was trying to handle things on my own, but it caught up withme big time. having days where you "think" you are fine and don't need meds is what is making things so confusing for you. and i can identify with that also.
but as Dr.B and Momo5 and now me are saying, You really need to go to yur doctor and discuss this with him\her ok.  

as for what changes when you're on meds, well for me, my moods stabilised, my thinking got a helluva lot clearer and for the most part i have stopped planning or thing of how i didn't want to be here anymore. I can functon now properly if that's the right word, going onmeds was very hard for me, but knowing the difference between what i wanted and what i needed help me to come to terms with taking meds.

I am really glad now that i'm on them, they have help me more than i ever thought they could.

Please go talk to your doctor and explain what 's been happening, if you feel embarrassed to do so or you feel fine on the day and don't want to bother, then can i suggest you print out your own post and bring it with you and hand it to him\her. ok

let us know how you get on , 
thinking of you

nsa.


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## Into The Light (Jul 9, 2006)

*Re: what exactly changes when you take anti-depressants*

ok. i've been thinking about the replies and i will speak to my dr. i made a dr's appointment just before i went away as i was having doubts then. my dr is somewhat aware of my situation so it shouldn't be too difficult to bring this up. i'm hesitant though to take medication. i've spent the last few days telling myself i am fine and that nothing is wrong. maybe everything i wrote just sounds worse than it really is? 

nsa you put the word think in quotes, are you saying that looking back you can now see you weren't ok even though you thought you were?

momof5 i've been wondering about some physical cause as well. i never really tried to exclude that first as i immediately assumed it was circumstance causing my issues.

thanks for all the input, i think it has brought me a step closer to where i need to be.


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## foghlaim (Jul 9, 2006)

> nsa you put the word think in quotes, are you saying that looking back you can now see you weren't ok even though you thought you were?



most definately yes. i had lots of days where i thought i was fine when inreality i wasn't. 

I glad to hear that you have a doc's apt made, if you let him know exactly what you told us, he can be the judge of whether things are worse than they appear. but i doubt it. I tend to agree with david and your symptoms are similar to mne before i went on meds. But see what your doc has to say ok. not everyone needs meds.

let us know how u get on okay.

wishing you well 
nsa


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## momof5 (Jul 9, 2006)

It could be a combination of both, circumstances and otherwise. One could aggitate the other, if that makes any sense?


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## Halo (Jul 9, 2006)

Hi BBC,

I am glad that you made an appt with the doctor. I know for me the challenge of taking medication was a big one. The first thing I had to get over was whether I really felt that I needed it. I tried to deny that I did for a long time and it just seemed to make things worse. I finally realized and admitted to myself that I did need it and that I wasn't fooling anyone by pretending to be "fine". Once I got over that hurdle within myself I started with medication (on a constant basis) and I say that because for a long time I would stop and start it because I struggled with being on it. I think that once you talk to your doctor, things will become more clear....at least I know it did for me. It was explained about how the brain works and what the medication actually does in my body and that helped.

I hope things work out well for you and please take care.


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## Into The Light (Jul 10, 2006)

i saw my dr today. i just took my first dose. it feels pretty scary but at this point not doing anything will just make things worse. i've noticed i don't want to speak to people lately and at home i just want to be alone all the time. i'm also hardly eating, all of these things have just gotten worse in the last few days or so. yesterday i had more thoughts about not being here, which just confirmed things really aren't right. i'm worried, and i don't really know why. maybe just scared i guess. i just don't know what to expect of the medication. my husband is worried about me too although he doesn't let on much. it's been hard on him. i think he's nervous about the meds as well. but at this point i don't know what else to do. i just want to be back to normal.


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## ThatLady (Jul 10, 2006)

It's been said on these boards before, but I think it's worth repeating:

Taking medication for depression is no different than taking insulin for diabetes. We must learn not to consider depression as some sort of failure. When we do that, we stigmatize ourselves. It isn't a failure, it's a disease. We don't blame diabetics for being diabetic. We don't blame people with heart disease for having heart disease. Why, then, do we blame ourselves for suffering with depression?

If you look at it logically, depression is a disease that can be treated with medication. Be thankful we have medications to treat it.


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## foghlaim (Jul 10, 2006)

BBC: i can really and truly and honestly relate to your post above, most everything you have written I have went thru.. so you are definately not alone in your thoughts of wanting to be alone, not talking to ppl and not eating. I spent almost amonth in my room (for the most ppart of each day) just so icould be alone and come on here as well.  
It's okay to be nervous of the meds,, and depending on what you are on, there may be slight side effects and if so these will wear off withnin a week or two.
David is best i think or TL to answer what to expect of the meds.  for me as i said above there has been a major improvement in my thinking and how i feel.

getting back to "normal" will take a bit of time and you are gonna have to have patience with yourself and the meds, ok.

I'm so glad you went to the doc.. it's the second step on the roadok, the first was you recognising something wasn't right. well done.

do keep us updated and we will support you in any way we can.

Wishing you all the best ok

nsa


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## Cat Dancer (Jul 10, 2006)

Glad you went too. 

I also wish you all the best. 

I can also relate to being scared of taking meds, wanting to be alone, not speaking to people, wanting to not be here, not benig able to eat. I am trying to take the right steps toward healing too. 

Thankfully, as ThatLady says, depression IS a treatable illness.


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## Into The Light (Jul 11, 2006)

hi thatlady, it's not that i feel taking medication is a failure (i got over that thinking a long time ago), it's that anti-depressants have always seemed scary to me. long before i got depressed they always seemed like something to approach with caution and i never dreamed i would ever need them. the thought of a drug messing with my mind just really bothers with me. however, i have been telling myself that my brain has already been altered so it's too late anyway to prevent anything. it's time to get it back on track. for now i am trying not think about the things that scare me about it.

nsa and everyone else thank you for your kind words. i really needed them.

thank you dr baxter for the wake-up call.


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## Halo (Jul 11, 2006)

Hi BBC,

I just wanted to echo what others have said here on the board about doing a good thing by going to your doctor. I think one of the hardest things is to admit needing help. 

TL was also right in what she said about depression being a medical condition needing help. So true but for me it is still hard to accept at times.

BBC you state that taking medication for your is something that is altering your brain. The first thing that I though of when I read that statement is that your brain is already altered and the medication is what is going to bring it back in balance. 

Again I just wanted to say that you took a very couragious step yesterday in speaking with your doctor and hopefully the meds will start working and you will eventually feel better. 

Let us know how you are doing when you have a chance.

Take care


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## Into The Light (Jul 13, 2006)

> your brain is already altered and the medication is what is going to bring it back in balance.


you said exactly what i tried to say. i guess i just couldn't word it right. thanks 

the last few days have been kinda all over the place again, i seem to be more emotional (actually have cried several times which i haven't been able to do much). today was a little out of character, spent it being quite angry actually over goings-on at work. i am surprised i didn't get all depressed over it, instead it seemed to awaken a fighting spirit inside me. i do not want to be walked all over and am not putting up with it.

is it even remotely possible that the medication is working already? it seems awfully quick. i wasn't expecting to notice anything for at least two weeks. so now i am having doubts again if it's even necessary. the doubts just nag away at me when i am feeling ok.

i am still getting lots of bad sleep. i hope that passes soon.


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## David Baxter PhD (Jul 13, 2006)

It can take up to 4 to 6 weeks to notice an effect. However, I have known several clients to show some response within the first week and it doesn't seem to be only a placebo effect to me.


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