# A Daddy?s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)



## David Baxter PhD (May 3, 2013)

*A Daddy?s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)*
Dr. Kelly Flanagan
April 17, 2013

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your  mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through  entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular  searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was ?How to keep  him interested.?

It startled me. I  scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and  sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make  him feel smart and superior.

 And I got angry.

 Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to ?keep him interested.? 

 Little One, your  only task is to know deeply in your soul?in that unshakeable place that  isn?t rattled by rejection and loss and ego?that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

 If you can trust  your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important  sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you. 

 Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn?t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting: 

 I don?t care if  he puts his elbows on the dinner table?as long as he puts his eyes on  the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can?t stop looking.

 I don?t care if  he can?t play a bit of golf with me?as long as he can play with the  children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways  they are just like you.

 I don?t care if he doesn?t follow his wallet?as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

 I don?t care if he is strong?as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

 I couldn?t care  less how he votes?as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects  you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

 I don?t care  about the color of his skin?as long as he paints the canvas of your  lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability,  and tenderness.

 I don?t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion?as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

 In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

 You. 

  Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to ?keep him interested? is to be you. 

 Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy​
This post is, of course, dedicated to my daughter, my Cutie-Pie. But I also want to dedicate it beyond her. 

  I  wrote it for my wife, who has courageously held on to her sense of  worth and has always held me accountable to being that kind of ?boy.? 

  I  wrote it for every grown woman I have met inside and outside of my  therapy office?the women who have never known this voice of a Daddy. 

  And  I wrote it for the generation of boys-becoming-men who need to be  reminded of what is really important?my little girl finding a loving,  lifelong companion is dependent upon at least one of you figuring this  out. I?m praying for you. 

_Free eBook: My eBook, The Marriage Manifesto: Turning Your World Upside Down, is available free to new blog subscribers. If you are not yet a subscriber, you can click here to subscribe, and your confirmation e-mail will include a link to download the eBook. Or, the book is also now available for Kindle and Nook.  _


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## Daffodil (Jun 23, 2013)

Wow! This post just made me cry. So authentic.


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## Michael Cross (Jul 26, 2013)

More daughters need fathers like you.


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