# Managing Anxiety in Your Relationship



## David Baxter PhD (Feb 23, 2017)

*Learn How to Couple Your Anxiety and Relationship*
By Laura Greenstein, _NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness_
Feb. 15, 2017 

Anxiety makes a lot of things more challenging, including romantic relationships. But you _can_  have a successful relationship despite your anxiety. It just requires  patience, honesty and open communication with your partner _and_  with yourself. As the clich? goes: Communication is the key to any good  relationship. But this saying has a new level of significance for  someone living with an anxiety condition. Anxiety affects the way you  think and your perspective on your relationship.

  So, when your anxiety is bad, tell them. Don?t shut them out because  you?re having a hard time managing your symptoms. Be responsive to your  partner?s questions about how you?re doing?even if you?re too anxious to  speak, you can just tell them that. Practice complete honesty. They  need to know what?s going on in order to be there for you.

  Anxiety will most likely affect your relationship in some capacity,  but that doesn?t mean you or your relationship is weak. And you can  learn to manage your condition within your relationship in a healthy  way. Here are a few ways to start:

*Don?t Let Anxiety Dictate Your Relationship*
  Don?t let anxiety stop you from showing that you care or let it force  you to do things that are harmful to your relationship. Think through  your actions: ?Am I doing this (or preventing myself from doing this)  because of my anxiety? Or is this actually what I want?? Strive to  determine whether your anxiety is behind wheel.

*Write Down What You Need to Say *
  It can be challenging to articulate how you feel when trying to cope  with anxiety symptoms. They might leave you feeling as if you are  incapable of speaking at all?and the natural inclination is not to say  anything. If you ever feel this way, try writing a letter to your  partner in order to explain your thoughts. Get it all down on paper  first and then you can organize it into a way that makes sense to you.

*Don?t Expect the Worst *
  Unfortunately, part of anxiety involves imagining all the negative  scenarios and possibilities that could go wrong in your life. This  ?catastrophizing? is easy to do with a relationship, especially because  there are many things that realistically _could_ go wrong. Even  though you can?t stop yourself from imagining these possibilities,  remind yourself not to believe in them when they appear.

  The more we expect something bad to happen, the more we subconsciously cause it to come true. Enjoy your relationship, remain in the moment and try not to let these thoughts scare you away from being happy.

*Be Affectionate*
  Don?t underestimate the benefits of hugging, holding or touching your  partner?especially when you?re feeling anxious. Being affectionate releases hormones that makes you feel calmer and improves your mood.  Associating your partner with these positive feelings while  simultaneously showing that you care has the potential to bring you  closer together and strengthen your relationship.

*Seek Other Forms of Support *
  While it?s important to share reciprocated emotional support, don?t  depend on your partner for everything. If you are experiencing anxiety, seek professional mental health care  and treatment. Talk with other loved ones and people you trust. If your  partner is the only person you talk to, they may become overwhelmed  with trying to be both your partner and your main form of mental health  support.

*Celebrate Small Steps*
  By initiating a conversation about your anxiety with your partner or  seeking professional help, you have taken a step towards managing your  mental health condition. Even if your symptoms affect your relationship,  you didn?t let it stop you from having a relationship at all. It took  courage for you to be open about your mental health?and open with your  heart?and _that_ is worth celebrating.


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