# organisme... ?



## Ashley-Kate (Nov 9, 2008)

Well, i was woundering about something that happened this friday that just past as i was not feeling great and was very depressed i was sort of lost at solutions and wel the psyhcologist that sees me at school mentionned many alternatives to first get me in a supervised situation for the week-end but seeings how i was extremly reluctant to go in the hospital as i will always be, she mentioned an alternative therefore calling an organisme that would have come to the school and would have acted as a third party in a way cause there was the school psychologist and nurse that were realy thinking i needed to get help and there was me that was trying to make them feel comfortable about staying home. the organisme is a group of psychologist or something like that would have came to the school to evaluate the situation from another perspective to then see if i needed to be in the hospital or not.. i don't know what the organisme is or what they do or if they are else were than quebec or montreal even but i was woundering if anyone knows of this typpe of groupe and if so if they can informe me.. i refused this time cause i sort of was mad and freekd out at the same time i was depressed and they wanted me to talk to someone i didn't even know.. anyway .. that is the situation  anyone know what i am talking about


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## healthbound (Nov 9, 2008)

Hi AK,
I've never heard of an organisme before, but it sounds like it's something that could help?  Or is intended to help?


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## Retired (Nov 9, 2008)

Does this have something to do with CLSC's in Quebec?   I cannot recall what organisation provides psychological services to schools.

What level school are we talking about?

Universities in Quebec have student health services which also provide psychological and psychiatric support.

Do you have more information about what organisation your psychologist was talking about?

What type of services or support do you need at this time?

I see you posted this message in the Psychlinks section dealing with _Suicide_

Are you feeling suicidal at this time, Ashley?


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## Ashley-Kate (Nov 9, 2008)

Well i am in college right now and it woul dhave been an organisme that comes to the school and meets us ( the nurse me and the psychologist ) to evaluate there perspective and how i am and see what needs to me done from an external point of view it is not with the CLSC


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## Into The Light (Nov 9, 2008)

ashley-kate, can you explain a bit further why this is upsetting to you? it sounds to me like they are really trying to help you and are trying to find a compromise by having an independent party observe you who can then advise both you and your professional team who are trying to help you figure out what's best.

anyway i do not want to invalidate how you are feeling, not at all, but am just trying to understand a bit better how this suggestion has been making you feel.


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## Mari (Nov 9, 2008)

H! AK, the best I can find is that organisme refers to a group of organizations that provide specialty health care and support for individuals. The person or persons would be there to work with you in determining what you need to do. Did they want you to go in hospital for just the weekend? :support: Mari


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## Ashley-Kate (Nov 9, 2008)

i guess the reason that this is upsetting me is that i ended up in the end being forced to receive a phone call every day to make sure thati was still okay and there and that it ed me causei feel that no one understands no one seems to get that i am sick of everyhting i am sick of being so not normal i am sick of the OCD the anorexia the bulimia the depression i am sick of everythign about me and they forced me to live cause if i didn'T answer the phone call they would have sent an ambulance to my place i am mad because by forcing me to live till monday in a way they are enforcnig the fact that they don't understand that i am tired! i just don't know what is wrong with me anymore hat is going on in my head why i am soo messed up!


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## suewatters1 (Nov 9, 2008)

Ashley Kate We love you and they love you that is why they call you everyday. They want to help you so much to try to get you over these feeling you are having.
You are a very special person. We all want to help you. By them wanting to get you in the hospital would mean they would have more time with you to try to help you with all the stuff you are going through.
They would try their best to help you deal with your problems. You shouldn't have to deal with this on your own. It is too hard for 1 person to have to deal with it themselves. You need people that love you and want to help you get through this very terrible time you are going through.
I believe God gives us DRS and counselors and therapist to help us. God is extending his hand out to you through these people. Please take the hands he is giving you. 
They love you and we love you and you will see you are very special person that I would love to meet.

Please hang on for another day. We want you to stay and God wants you to  stay.

Sue


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## Into The Light (Nov 9, 2008)

i think that maybe they do understand you are tired of it all and therefore are concerned you will resort to suicide.

ashley-kate, none of this is being done to make your life more difficult. it is being done because they are trying very hard to help you. i know you are afraid of losing normalcy in your life by going in-patient, but wouldn't a short term, intense program to recovery not be more effective than dragging things out like this?

i know you are sick of it all and i would be too. the quickest way to get past this for you right now i think would be to go in-patient. let them help you, you deserve the help. :hug:


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## Ashley-Kate (Nov 9, 2008)

i don'T want to sound mean or anything but if i hear anything about the in-patient treatment i am going to go nuts i really really don't want it they want me in-patient with a bunch of girls that are extremly thin that think abotu calories abotu food about weight every singal second and won't stop talking about it i donT' feel that i am being treated for the right thing anymore i am sick of being the e-d the e-d is the symptom of everything in my life that went wrong i just need them all to stop talking to me about what i eat or don't eat. i am just tired and i don't believe being with a bunch of other people that are depressed and sad will help me be less tired! i need a break that is all i need but the break is not from school or friends or familly it is from my head me !


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## suewatters1 (Nov 9, 2008)

Ashley You feel you are not being treated for the right thing. Can you tell us what you feel you need to be treated for? Maybe we can help you in some ways. I know sometimes I which I can escape from life for a bit and hopefully it is bedtime when I feel that way. Because when morning comes around I hope to feel better.
Is their anything you like doing? Like going to the movies going to a concert or something that would cheer you up even just for a little while?
Maybe if they could find you a different medication for your depression it might help you feel better.
Is there anybody you like hanging around with? Maybe ask them to spend some time with you or spend the night just so that you don't feel so alone. 
I got a friend who is willing to let me stay at his place if I ever get so depress I feel like I am alone in this world and nobody really understands what I am going through and I wish I were dead and I can't calm my mind down. Because he knows everything about me my cutting and all and I feel safe with him and his son.
If you could feel like somebody understands you and would be there for you to make you feel like you are not fighting this all by yourself that might help you. Knowing I have a safe place to go to when I am very depress is comforting to me like a security blanket.
If their is anything we can do for you please let us know we want to help you if you will let us.

Sue


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## Ashley-Kate (Nov 9, 2008)

I have spent tha last 7 years of my life being treated for an eating disorder yes i know i have an e-d but i have been treated as if this e-d was brought on by a simple desire to lose weight to be thin to be perfect to controle something.. and in the end it is not that so when they talk to me about food about all of the stuff that the other girls in treatment talk about i feel lost i feel like i am completly missunderstood. I don't have any friends that know about how i am right now they have not the slightess clue even. I don't go to movies cause i can't sit still for more than 1h i don't go out cause i can't risk looking like a freek with all my little obsessions so i live at the dorm i go out occasionnaly to go to class or appointments. i have the behaviors of an anorexic or a bulimic but i don't have the same mind set my desire was never to be thin and beautiful it was to be gone to dissapear to fade away and die through self starvation and purging and yet they are treating me for the need to lose weight to be pretty yet i constantly tell them i don't care and they don't catch it!they just keep trying to shove food down my mouth!


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## Ashley-Kate (Nov 9, 2008)

thank you, just by what you just wrote i feel a lot more understood! cause latly i feel alone pretty much in this hole thing i keep telling them to stop talking to me about food i tell them even that its not the probleme i told the woman i am seeing now that the reason is somethign else but seeings how she keeps bringing me back to food i have no interest in talking to her about anythiing else and i dont trust her to be able to help me. but then she brings the hospital up yet again! i hate her so much cause i feel like i am talking to a wall!


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## Retired (Nov 10, 2008)

> i hate her so much cause i feel like i am talking to a wall!



Ashley,

You need to have a conversation with this person, in a calm and polite manner, so that you help her understand exactly what the correct issues are.

You must not allow your emotions to rule the conversation, but rather, take the time to prepare what you would say to her.  Make a few notes and rehearse what you will say.  Your rehearsal could be in your room alone, or in the car while driving, or if you have a trusted friend or family member, rehearse while role playing.

By being prepared, you can effectively communicate your feelings and your thoughts to the person who really wants to help you.

You need to be a partner in your health care, and a partner participates in the communication with the health care giver.

Are you still being seen at the clinics of the Douglas Hospital?


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## NicNak (Nov 11, 2008)

I am sorry for the very difficult time you are going through Ashley-Kate.  It can be very difficult to get people to understand what you are going through.  I assure you, we all understand here.

Aside from being mis-understood, I am sure you feel like people are ganging up on you.  Also the fear of not knowing what the Organization is going to say or who they are etc.  I would be afraid too.

I remember when I first when to the Centre for Addiction Reasearch and Mental Health here in Toronto I was so afraid!  But I was pleasantly suprised to find they were very understanding and willing to listen to me.

Do you have a Family Doctor who can maybe refer you to another Psychiatrist,  Psychologist or Therapist etc?  Maybe they would be more understanding than the people who you are talking to now?

When I was feeling major down a few times, I wrote my thoughts in point form and gave it to my Family Doctor, before I had a Psychiatrist.  I found sometimes when I went to my doctor I would get my throughts all mixed up cause of being nervous.  Writing it down and giving it to her helped cause she could just advise on my thoughts and it helped me speak more freely afterwards.

Do you have any family who can be an avocate for you?  That is helpful also, they can tell the doctor things on your behalf or assist and support at your councilling sessions.

I am so sorry your feeling bad right now.  It will get better, I assure you.  Please don't give up hope.


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## Into The Light (Nov 11, 2008)

ashley kate, i am sorry to have upset you, i misunderstood.

i think what might be helpful is for you to explain exactly what you feel you need, and what you feel you don't need and the reasons for that, and write all of this down on paper. spell it out to them. there is probably miscommunication happening between you and them.


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## NicNak (Nov 11, 2008)

I found this link for Mental Health Supports in Quebec. 
http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=88
I really hope you can find someone to talk to there who understands what you are feeling.  

That was the first relief I had found when first being diagnosed with Mental Illness.  I felt like "Wow!  Someone understands"

Maybe some other people know of a better source for you to look into in Quebec.

Keep your chin up :flowers:


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## Ashley-Kate (Nov 11, 2008)

hello,
 Well today the psychologist that i met with a couple of months ago is back to work he was off for a couple of weeks but he is back and i really feel that he understands me very well and i will be seeing him today. i am pretty happy about that. As for the therapy with the other people i will discuss with him weather i should continue with them or not seeings how it is really not working out that great. I found out the name of the organisme and it is actually only here in montreal it is called UPS-justice, i also found out by the nurse that was there with me friday during the appointment they almost sent me to the hospital and well she told me that they did end up calling them at one point when she left the room to have an opinion on what to do and they would have sent me to the hospital and i they decided between the two of them the nurse and psychologist from the school that it would be best to not send me in the hospital cause they would have lost me, and i wouldn't go back to them if i was feeling down or anything. They negociated with me cause they want me to feel like they are working with me and not against me. and i am really happy that they did!  I am feeling better today i guess it may be because i feel "safe" in some way knowing that i will be able to talk to someone face to face that seems to understand me, and also cause i spent the morning surronded by familly my mom came to see me cause she senced i was not feeling great and needed a friend. In my familly no one really knows anything about me or my past all they know is that i have an e-d cause i was hospitalised for it over 6 times so well they cant really denie it. but on the other stuff they don't know and i keep it that way cause my role in the familly is to fix everythign to make sure eveything is okay i feel that i am usefull in that sence and if i lose it if it turns around it would screw up my hole balance!
anyway thank you all!


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## Into The Light (Nov 11, 2008)

i'm glad to hear that ashley-kate, that is good news :goodjob:


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## NicNak (Nov 11, 2008)

I am glad you got the Psychologist you had before who understood you.  

It is so crutial to find help that is understanding.  That is what helped me in the beginning stages of coping.

Keep us posted on how your doing.  Now you have someone, your Psychologist who can work as an advocate for you and help you find other sources of assistance if needed.

I feel relieved.  I can sense from your message that you feel a bit better.  Glad to hear it.


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## Halo (Nov 11, 2008)

AK,

Great to hear that you got to see the Psychologist that you like and feel understood by.  It always helps.  

I also think that it was nice of your mom to come and visit you just because she knew that you needed someone....how special :hug:

Take care and continue to let us know how you are doing.


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## suewatters1 (Nov 11, 2008)

Great News Ashley Kate :woohoo: Keep us update 

Sue


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## Ashley-Kate (Nov 11, 2008)

hello,
 well i just got back from class and also from the appointment. It went okay i guess. He is going to keep seeing me if the plan that we have works but i will have to continue receiving treatment from the hospital because they are specialised in eating disorders and well i have an eating disorder but i will probably no longuer have to see the social worker that i have been seeing but seeings how on the health matter things are not improving we need to keep the hospital at arms reach cause if i ever need to be hopitalised then they will not send me to some mental institutionwere they don't know much about e-d's in this case if ever i am really too sick to decide for myself they will be able to have the door open in the eating disorder unit!
thats about it


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## NicNak (Nov 12, 2008)

I am glad your doctor is going to continue to see you.  Especially since you seem to be able to talk to him best out of all the people.  

Thanks for the update.  Keep up the good work in communicating with your doctor.  It isn't easy, but it is the best thing to do.  That is the way they are able to help us feel better 

Best wishes to you.


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