# An Abusive Parent’s Response



## David Baxter PhD (Aug 10, 2018)

*An Abusive Parent’s Response*
By Ivy Blonwyn
August 8, 2018

  "I plan _not_ to read it", responded American actress Joan Crawford when asked if she intended to read _Mommie Dearest_. That now legendary book, later made into a movie starring Faye Dunaway, was  written by Joan Crawford’s  adopted daughter, Christina, and detailed  all the abuse she bore at the hands of Mommie Dearest.







   Who was Joan Crawford? She was an Oscar-winning actress who quickly  rose to stardom by, allegedly, bedding every male in 1930s Hollywood,  except Lassie. She was the kind of actress who played it 24/7. She was  always perfectly dressed, perfectly made-up and perfectly coiffed.

 But her exterior perfection disguised her abusive mothering. ‘No wire hangers’ sound familiar?

 According to the book _Not The Girl Next Door_, Joan Crawford said, ‘Why spoil days of your life reading a book that can only hurt you?’

 Nevermind that _Mommie Dearest_ was a cry of profound pain by her eldest child.

 "Once you’ve read it", she wrote, "the specific words stay with you  and torture you… I’ve learned that there are people who will hurt you, if  you let them—even if you _don’t_ let them."

 After all, this is all about you, Joan! Ignore your daughter’s pain… just as you always did when you were raising her.

  She goes on to say, "I prefer to cut off people who can only hurt me, who _want _to hurt me rather than to continue to give them power over me to go on inflicting pain."

 That’s right, Joan. _They_ are the ones hurting_ you! _My mistake, I thought it was the other way round.

 Joan’s response is a good glimpse into the mind of an abuser. They  simply don’t care. If they had cared, they wouldn’t have abused in the  first place.

 The only person they care about is themselves. They refuse to face the ramifications of their actions.

 Had they had it to do all over again – they would apparently have  done exactly the same thing, given their lack of empathy and remorse  now.

 Joan Crawford gives us a precious insight into the mind of an abuser.  Her death provides even more. Although it’s been white-washed, the  truth is that Joan Crawford committed suicide two days after spending  Mother’s Day alone, unvisited by any of her four adopted children, in  1977.

 I guess it got to her… after all. The final curtain on a completely  self-centered life. Or maybe her suicide was her final act of abuse. An  action taken to make her children feel guilty for Eternity.

 Whatever the truth, don’t expect your abuser to suddenly change.  Care. Show remorse or empathy. If Joan Crawford is anything to go by, it  simply won’t happen.






*About Ivy Blonwyn*
_ Ivy Blonwyn is a Welsh freelance writer  and photographer. She and her husband have been trying, unsuccessfully,  to start a family for several years. Ivy can relate to the pain,  confusion, jealousy and sense of injustice that accompanies infertility.  But she also knows the pain of being a step-mother to children who’s  vindictive birth mother has systematically employed *Parental Alienation*  to distance them from their birth-father, Ivy’s husband, Rhys. Her articles, often illustrated with her photos, are intended to  validate and comfort those who suffer from infertility, Parental  Alienation, and the pain of sexual abuse. She finds solace in indulging her passion for plein air photography  during long tramps with her husband through the fields, hills and  castles of Cardiff. Follow Ivy on Facebook at  http://www.facebook.com/fullheartemptyarms or contact her at ivyblonwyn@gmail.com._


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