# Trust and Vulnerability in Relationships



## Retired (Nov 29, 2012)

Trust and Vulnerability in Relationships
Psych Central

A willingness to be vulnerable is a significant feature of lasting relationships ? ones in which partners are allies, not foes.
The need to form a mutually protective alliance is innate, according to psychoanalyst John Bowlby. This need persists throughout life; the search to be both cared for and caregiver underlies falling in love.
Long-lasting couples manage to keep this vulnerability alive. Each person?s awareness of the importance of partnership underlies his or her attentiveness to the other. This ?protective love? focuses on the partnership and the ability to put the other first. As parents, they instinctively soothe their children?s tears, and in the same way, they are responsive to each other....................


............Securely attached people tend to have positive views of their relationships, often reporting a great deal of satisfaction in their relationships. They feel comfortable both with intimacy and with independence, seeking to balance the two. When they do feel anxious, they try to reduce their anxiety by seeking physical or psychological closeness to their partner. During difficult situations they seek support, comfort, and assistance from their partner. A secure partner then responds positively, reaffirming a sense of normality and reducing anxiety. This expression of love puts into practice the key elements of a secure partnership: consistency, attunement to the other, and availability when needed.
Thinking about the concept of attachment in your relationship can add new meaning and help you develop a deeper, lasting bond. We all need someone we can rely on in order to maintain a sense of wellbeing. Knowing your partner is encouraging and rooting for you frees you to concentrate elsewhere. Secure and supported, you are able to produce, enjoy and be open to new experiences

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