# Oddity



## Kuroshashu (May 27, 2007)

I've a rather interesting twist on the prevailing theme here. I can relate to much of the symptoms, attempted suicide, self-mutilation and risk-taking, and I am very often depressed, but it's anger that causes the self-destructive activities. I feel completely contemptible and therefore contempt. At times like that, I just feel like throwing this wretched arsehole into napalm. After all, a dog that was causing a fraction of the woe that I do would be discreetly shot, would they not? Isn't the definition of altruism self-sacrifice for the greater good? I'm not sure if I buy that... Who can tell?


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## Halo (May 27, 2007)

You say that anger is the cause of your self-destructive activities and I understand that however anger can sometimes be a cover for what feelings are really behind the anger.  I know for myself that many times I will feel sad or lonely or whatever but I will turn it into anger because that emotion is much more acceptable (in my eyes) to express.  

Is is possible that the anger that you feel is really covering up other emotions that you are afraid to express


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## Kuroshashu (May 27, 2007)

Yeah, I've also an appreciable level of depression, details of which I've omitted in accordance with the title of this forum. I do tend to channel other strong emotions into loathing, a rather undesirable trait I must say. I'll have to do something about that. Heh, ce la vie.


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## Halo (May 27, 2007)

Have you spoken to your doctor about your depression and anger?  I think that would be your best option at this time and to be honest with him/her about how you have been feeling.  The feelings that you have described are nothing to take lightly and do require attention by a professional.

Take care


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## Kuroshashu (May 27, 2007)

Well, no. I'm afraid I've not done anything about it. Well, nothing that didn't involve _{{Edit: self-injurying}}_
Sorry, probably poor taste.

Sorry, I forget myself.


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## ThatLady (May 28, 2007)

There are many therapists who specialize in anger management, Kuro. There are also therapists who can help those who tend to turn anger inside at some times, and externalize it at other times. Might be something to explore. :hug:


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## Kuroshashu (Jun 3, 2007)

Yeah, I would love to do something along those lines.
Interestingly, after 21 year of having no clue, I've finally worked out what I'd like to do with my life. I want to be a helicopter pilot. As you may know, that costs a ludicrous amount of money, so I've to save every cent I make in order to get my flight hours up. That rather rules out setting my head in order, which is rather annoying, as in terms of sanity, it's somewhere between Hitler and Dr Klevorkian at the moment. Cae la vie and all that bollocks I suppose.


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## Kuroshashu (Jun 4, 2007)

Hmmm, I've just found another reason to give up the drinking. I had a few, and then a few more and found myself walking home {graphic details detailed}. Rather made a mess of my favourite coat. On the bright side, it should serve as a visual reminder of the issue, as that's usually my drinking arm.


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