# Will it ever end?



## Ashley-Kate (May 9, 2011)

It's sort of frustrating when you try to put things into place to make life work and make more sence and more things just fall onto you it's trully not pleasant. I found out today after calling the gouv. for a checque i was supposed to receave only to find out they mailed it to the wrong adress and not only that , the person they mailed it too cashed it in. so the money i was suppposed to receive was tooken.  I simply feel like nothing else could possibly go wrong but in saying that i know i am wrong cause it's me and something else is bound to go wrong yet again.


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## Dragonfly (May 9, 2011)

*Re: will it ever end*

aghhh .... sorry Ashley-Kate.  Sorry you were the victim of crime.  What can be done to help you recoup what is rightfully yours?  

You are asking if it ever ends ... not really.  But please don't take that as a pessimistic view.  It doesn't though.  Depending on how old you are and what is going on, there is almost always something .... the lawn mower won't start and grass is at my thighs .... cell phone crashes so often that I want a new advert tag line ("droid doesn't") ....  teen needs a new bed, but I can't get him to come with me to pick out the mattress ....  I understand that you are talking about finances - and likely you need the money to live.  But, something almost always needs attending to.

What changes with each experience - each time you reach out for help and support and successfully deal with what is in front of you - is that your confidence increases.  So that whatever is going on, it starts to seem managable.  Frustrating and maybe even frightening.  But managable.

Please let me / us know what you work out about your cheque.


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## Retired (May 9, 2011)

*Re: will it ever end*

Ashley,

I am so sorry to hear about someone else stealing and cashing your check from the government.  However, I don't see any difficulty in resolving the problem, because you need to contact the governement agency that issued the check and report it being lost and stolen.

They may want to investigate, but they should be able to replace your check since it is not your signature on the forged check.


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## Ashley-Kate (May 9, 2011)

yeah i spoke to them they explained that but its just something i didn'T want to have to deal with on top of everything


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## Retired (May 9, 2011)

I agree, Ashley.  No one likes to have to deal with unexpected problems that come up, especially when you had nothing to do with causing the problem.  I had a similar situation with the post office a couple of weeks ago that requires telephoning, filling out forms, sending photocopies to the post office...it's a real pain.  However this is part of the "business of life" as I like to call it and there will be periodic foul ups that we need to solve and sort out.

Can you get someone to help you so that you don't have to do everything yourself?


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## Ashley-Kate (May 9, 2011)

I was able to call them and get my adressed changed inform them that it was not me that cashed it in, the woman will send me papers that i have to fill out and then send back to them. I just have so much to do this month, I have an appointment with the psychiatrist that i trully don'T like on the 18th then a surgery consult on the 25th of may and in between i have to survive just those appointments are stressfull to me and now i have this to add on to everything.. it's really just not easy


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## forgetmenot (May 10, 2011)

take one task on at a time Ashley-Kate okay do not look at all the things at once   Just deal with what is on your plate today okay  just today.   Get your bf or parents to help fill out the forms to get your check  back
Get people around you to help  you   they will be happy to be able to do something for you to make you day less stressfu.     It is okay to ask for help hun.    Prioritise okay do not worry about what is to come just deal with the day even the moment no further  hugs


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## Retired (May 10, 2011)

> I have an appointment with the psychiatrist that i trully don'T like



These days with our medical system overloaded with a shortage of doctors, sometimes we just have to make the best of a situation that could be better.  As long as this doctor is competent, is able to manage your treatment, you may just have to "hold your nose" and work with him/her for your own benefit.

Not to make light of a situation that is causing you some distress, but look at the positive side, Ashley.  You will be spending about an hour with this person, then you can go about your life.

Use the opportunity to gain some insights about your illness, ask the questions you want answered, and get the prescriptions you need.

It may help to make some written notes for yourself before the appointment, with all your questions to make sure you get everything done that is needed.

And as has been said, deal with one thing at a time, then go on to the next.


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 10, 2011)

Hang in there Ashley-Kate...  My husband has had that happen with him, too.  He was supposed to get compensated for a very expensive dental appointment and some bozo got hold his check with similar initials, but same thing, it wasn't my husband's signature.  Pain in the butt, too, when you're already going through enough stress as it is and have bills to pay.  Glad you got your money back and the address straightened out.  

I'm a kind of glass-half-full person, and my husband is more of a glass-half-empty.  I try to encourage my husband not to take things so personally (like they are just happening to him) and remind him these kinds of things happen to lots of people, but I may come across sometimes like I'm not validating his feelings.  I don't mean to come across like that, just don't want to see someone frustrated over something they can't control.   I like how you DID take control of the situation, and now you even fixed the problem with the address, so you know it will work out next time.  I sure hope you let yourself feel a big sense of satisfaction for a job well done.  It broke and you fixed it.  You can now place your hands on your hips and pose like a superhero (preferably in the privacy of your own home, though).


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## Ashley-Kate (May 10, 2011)

ok first the psychiatrist i don't like well about her competance i doubt it trully she told me to remain perfectionnist and controling because that is who i am denying at the same time that it is a caracteristic of my eating disorder. She also told me that i have a chronic eating disorder and the chances i will recover are not really existant i will have to live with being this way my hole life just try not to die. she also didn'T want to co-work with my old psychologist who i trust because it would be to complicated to add a psychologist from another building to her team even though i will be going back to him probably in 1 month.. so i dont like her i think she is thinking what is easier for her and not what is best for me.., she wants to see me once every 2 weeks for 30minutes to talk about pills. She gave me the book and antidepressants and let me choses wich on i wanted yet i dont even know any. I hate her because i feel she doesn'T know what she is doing


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## Andy (May 10, 2011)

Geez, she doesn't sound very encouraging. I'm sorry if you already said this but is there any way to get in to see a different Psychiatrist? 
Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't recover from this because you can. It just takes a lot of really hard work as you know.


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## Ashley-Kate (May 10, 2011)

I have to wait her off until she decides that the meds are workingn well enough for my old psychologist to take me back and for her crisis team to not have to intervene.. even though i had more help before.


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## Andy (May 10, 2011)

Oh I see. So you basically have to just bite your lip and deal with her until you can get back to your old psychologist. Are you going to have to keep seeing her for medication after your back with the psychologist?  
Well I hope things get better soon and you can get back to receiving the help you felt more comfortable with.


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## David Baxter PhD (May 11, 2011)

Well, at least it's a start, right Ashley?


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## forgetmenot (May 11, 2011)

Ashley use this psychiatrist to get your meds okay  until you find a replacement somehow you have to work with this one.   There is no way any professional should ever tell you that you will not heal   how does this doctor know that how tell me   This doctor does not have a magic ball cannot see into the future.   You know there is healing i know there is a way to heal  i have seen people recover from eating disorders and go on and live their lives so yes you can heal okay.   I hope soon you will be back with you psychologist  because trust is a big part of healing.   Lets hope meds kick in soon okay   hugs to you


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 11, 2011)

Holy crap!  She actually said those things...???   I'm really glad you have another therapist.  You don't have to stick with this woman if you don't want.  She first says contradictory things and then makes it sound like you're nearly untreatable.  I'm totally with you on questioning her on her competence.

I say, in this situation, be like Captain Kirk in _Generations_:
Kirk (you, after your psychiatrist tells you the chances you will recover are not really existent): "I take it the odds are against us in a situation this grim."
Picard (your psychiatrist): "You could say that."
Kirk (you): "You know, if Spock were here, he'd say that I was an irrational, illogical human being by taking on a mission like that. Sounds like fun!"    -- totally prove that girl wrong, Ashley-Kate.

Or Han in Star Wars:
C-3PO (your psychiatrist): "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1."
Han Solo (you): "Never tell me the odds." 

I have a feeling that if I had that psychiatrist of yours for therapy I would start to put my fingers in my ears a lot and whistle annoyingly out-of-tune "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" by Monty Python... (words and music by Eric Idle).   Then she'll have that song stuck in her head all day.  Mwahahhaahahaaa....


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## Dragonfly (May 11, 2011)

Ashley - rather than question her competence, why not ask questions directly to her?  Not to put words in your mouth, but maybe something like: "How can you say ______?"  Or "How can that book help me when ________?"  Or even (this would take a lot of courage): "How can I work with you when I don't trust that you can help me?"


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 11, 2011)

Well, that is kind of what I was getting at...  Han Solo (you): "Never tell me the odds."   I try to use humour in awkward situations.  Sometimes it backfires (because then I'm not taken as seriously when I should be), but if I don't feel comfortable confronting someone, I will try to soften the blow...

Like the first time she said that about your chances of healing...  If it were me, I would have said something like "Never tell me the odds."  Even if that psychiatrist didn't get the Star Wars reference, _I_ would, and it would be funny to me (and even funnier that she didn't get the reference).  

I do agree with Dragonfly, that it would take a lot of courage.  Some professionals are very open and try their best to listen when confronted with a question, others get a bit defensive.  But it's healthy sometimes to express opinions about someone to their face if it's affecting you negatively, rather than just let those angry and frustrated thoughts bounce around in your head.  

But I would definitely still whistle that song.


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