# Just Thoughts



## forgetmenot (Apr 28, 2016)

Is it so wrong to want to just end this nightmare omg  the inner pain and sadness  iknow many have felt loss i know that but to have to face it again and again and again knowing future will only bring more of it  i don't know   Is it  so wrong to not want to face this anymore  Today will be a very very hard day yet again  i don't see any light anymore  the days are just full of pain  won't leave not yet  i have to settle all my brothers things  and put him to rest first   lawyers  burial all that   but i don't know how much more i can take sorry just thoughts ok  thoughts  i have to go and do all those things now


----------



## amazingmouse (Apr 28, 2016)

Sorry fmnt. Hope you get better, there is so many kinds of therapists available now, find someone to talk to if you are stressed out


----------



## making_art (Apr 28, 2016)

Forgetmenot,

If I understand, you just lost your brother who has been very ill......I'm so sorry for your loss and all your past losses.....I can only imagine how hard it must be.

Many people would suffer if you were to go before your time....

Hugs to you...


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Apr 28, 2016)

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Forgetmenot...

It often seems to me that with every loss we experience we also grieve all the previous losses...


----------



## MHealthJo (Apr 29, 2016)

Oh I'm so sorry FMN, I didn't quite understand post at first.

Loss and grief are horrible, just horrible.

Hugs.


----------



## rdw (Apr 29, 2016)

So sorry to hear about your loss. Feelings of grief are always so overwhelming. Try to take some time over the next horrendously busy days for yourself. Thinking of you


----------



## forgetmenot (Apr 29, 2016)

I dug up a little lilac tree today on the side of my property  his three brothers and myself will be laying his ashes to rest by my pond where he came and fished one day 

 He loved the lilac tree in his back yard.  I could not have a celebration like others wanted to do  it is all just to hard his condition changed so fast 

 He should still be here with us he should  but if this helps his younger brother and two older brothers then good  

They can come and visit him there and in time maybe i could lay to rest my first brothers ashes as well who left  if his daughter wants to do that  so they can be together again  dam tears 

  i told ma about  our plans are she like them  her heart is so broken this is the son that took care of her while she lived at her home.   sorry  just going to be so very hard to do this  but it needs to be done right


----------



## making_art (Apr 29, 2016)

Hugs...


----------



## GDPR (Apr 29, 2016)

I'm very sorry for your loss FMN.

Hang in there...


----------



## MHealthJo (Apr 30, 2016)

The plans you described sound really fitting.

Tears are OK FMN. Tears will help you.

Tears and crying serve a function and are biologically / physiologically useful each time they happen.

I'm so so sorry FMN.

Keep talking more about absolutely anything when you want to.

Everyone is different, but this audio (the grief one - number 26, I think) has helped me a great deal in grief that I have had (fresh as well as old) and I've heard lots of comments of similar experiences of others. The related blog post and the linked part on the companion website was also very useful.

http://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/

Thinking of you a lot FMN. 

Caring for you and family.


----------



## forgetmenot (Apr 30, 2016)

Guess my immunity is lowered sick now have not had a cold for years and years  now it seems  do  guess my body is tired cannot fight anything these days. 

 Put ceramic boy angel by the lilac tree  watered tree today  i know you say tears are ok  but so hard to let them go  holding it all in still  

 uggggg still have the legal stuff to deal with bank do that monday  and then somehow need to get help for other brother left behind 

 trying too he cannot stay alone in house  then need to somehow get house in shape for selling i can't do this  i just can't 

 it is a disaster the house is.  but today i just need to lie down for awhile  for a little while   it will all happen it time i guess  main thing now is to get my other brother help he needs before something happens to him too.  

  i have done all calling told his mental health worker talked to social workers hospital  called ccac  now i need to just  walk away again i am too tired lord


----------



## MHealthJo (Apr 30, 2016)

One thing at a time.


----------



## making_art (Apr 30, 2016)

Yes....take breaks as often as you need....hugs


----------



## Banned (May 2, 2016)

I'm so sorry for your loss, fmn.  Take good care of yourself during this time.


----------



## amazingmouse (May 2, 2016)

Forgetmenot, I am sorry, but initially I did not understand that you were talking of actual loss. I understood it was something like that though. I wanted to express my condolences again. I am very sorry for the loss of your brother


----------

