# Psychiatric Advice



## NicNak (Dec 5, 2009)

*Psychiatric Advice*

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains!
Pull yourself together, man!


Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell.
Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a ring.

Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
Don't let people push you around.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Who said that?!

Doctor, doctor, nobody understands me.
What do you mean by that?

Doctor, doctor, People keep ignoring me!
Next!

Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I say.
Tell me the truth now, what's your REAL problem?

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.

Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I'm ugly!
Lay on the couch, face down.

Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop stealing things.
Take these pills for a week; if that doesn't work I'll have a color TV!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.
Sit there and don't stir.

Doctor, doctor, I'm manic-depressive.
Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm...

Doctor, doctor, I keep trying to get into fights.
And how long have you had this complaint?
Who wants to know?

Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate, one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank!
And how long have you had this complaint?
What complaint?

Doctor, doctor, I feel so short!
No problem. Hop up on the couch.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small bucket.
You do look a little pail.

Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59 seconds to live.
Wait a minute please.

Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.
Don't answer! 

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bridge. 
What's come over you? 
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a cat.
How long has this been going on?
Oh, since I was a kitten!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture.


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## Mari (Dec 5, 2009)

> Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a cat.
> How long has this been going on?
> Oh, since I was a kitten!



:rofl:


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## Andy (Dec 5, 2009)

NicNak said:


> Doctor, doctor, nobody understands me.
> What do you mean by that?



:teehee:This one has actually been said to me before. More like 
"Nobody gets me"  "What do you mean? Why do you say that?"  pfft.


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## NicNak (Dec 5, 2009)

This is my favorite



NicNak said:


> Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop stealing things.
> Take these pills for a week; if that doesn't work I'll have a color TV!




But I relate most to this one :lol:


NicNak said:


> Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate, one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank!
> And how long have you had this complaint?
> What complaint?


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