# Top 10 Reasons Why Canada Deserves the Silver



## David Baxter PhD (Mar 1, 2010)

Why Canada Deserves the Silver
March 1, 2010

Yesterday, after going through the multiple heart attacks during the USA/Canada gold medal hockey game (that the USA took into overtime in the last 24 seconds of the game!!), I began to think of all the ways that America is far superior to our upstairs neighbor. You know, since we proved that hockey wasn?t one of them. And I was bitter. And angry. And inhaling a tube of cookie dough to cool down?.

Okay Canada, you may have taken the gold in hockey, have national healthcare, legal drinking at 19, and some pretty awesome night clubs. Now let me just give you ten golden reason why America is much, much better than our hat. 

*10. We have Florida, they have Nova Scotia.*
Seriously, is there anywhere warm in Canada? Miami is so much better than any place Canada has to offer.

*9. We say ?about? properly.*
Aboot? That?s what I do after I drink too much Cuervo.

*8. The American dollar is worth more!*
By five cents!

*7. None of that ?Eh? nonsense.*

*6. Avril Lavigne.*
Way to go Canada, thanks for Sk8er Boi. I really appreciate that.

*5. The metric system.*
32 degrees is FREEZING, not warm.

*4. Their flag is stupid.*
What the eff is that about? A maple leaf? Seriously? I can?t think of anything more uninspired. Plus, everyone knows the best maple syrup comes Vermont or Aunt Jemima, which are both clearly AMERICAN.

*3. Their national anthem is stupid.*
?O Canada?? Are you kidding me? Change that shiz to ?Blame Canada,? like now.

*2. Jack Bauer.*
America has him. Canada does not.

*1. Dammit Canada, I really wanted to hate you.* After that hockey game, I really did. But then I remembered all my pre-21 year old days of traveling up north and getting legally wasted at 19, all the French, the healthcare, Jim Carrey, Le Chateau, Quebec, Montreal, Pam Anderson, ketchup chips, Terrence and Phillip and pretty much everything that rules. Sigh. The gold is all yours, you Canuck bastards.


----------



## Ronbell (Mar 3, 2010)

Too many Americans genuinely share those views on Canadians, regardless of their own actual experiences. Somewhat frustrating, but not much you can do about it shy of bringing them up here and showing that this country deserves gold in more ways than just hockey. But you know what? Let them live in their own world, lets live in the real one


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Mar 21, 2010)

Exactly. They have alligators and the Abominable Snowman. We have beavers and the Sasquatch. Advantage Canada.


----------

