# If life is unfair and dangerous...



## rdonovan1 (Aug 26, 2009)

Daniel said:


> An update:
> 
> Scam targets prospective renters on Craigslist
> 
> Woman robbed after advertising on Craigslist - Los Angeles Times




This does not surprise me one bit as I have seen this type of stuff before and that is why I am paying very strict attention to security and it is why I am not being such a nice guy any more. 

It is also why I am trying to find ways to get my car fixed and why I am also participating in a martial arts forum and why I am also trying to come up with the money to buy a gun as I certainly do not plan of being a statistic at all just because someone else wants to be stupid.


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## Jazzey (Aug 26, 2009)

*Re: Craigslist Crime Becoming Common*

rdonovan, 

You and I have had our differences in the past.  And normally, I'd ignore this type of thread  . But your comment in obtaining a gun has peaked my interest...Why? I'm of the volition that this lifetime has enough violence, why more violence RD?

Interesting RD: every time that I ask you a question, you log off...I'm not quite sure what to make of that.  But maybe, someday, you'll actually tell me what that's about (and I may actually care).


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## rdonovan1 (Aug 26, 2009)

*Re: Craigslist Crime Becoming Common*



Jazzey said:


> rdonovan,
> 
> You and I have had our differences in the past.  And normally, I'd ignore this type of thread  . But your comment in obtaining a gun has peaked my interest...Why? I'm of the volition that this lifetime has enough violence, why more violence RD?
> 
> Interesting RD: every time that I ask you a question, you log off...I'm not quite sure what to make of that.  But maybe, someday, you'll actually tell me what that's about (and I may actually care).



Because I have seen this type of stuff both online and offline both in my neighborhood and while I was out driving truck over the road. 

Just a few month's ago a woman was shot to death while working at a Denny's restaurant and while I know that a lot of people are going to disagree with me and tell me that she probably deserved to die, I personally don't think that she did deserve to die and I certainly don't think that anyone else should die either.

Life is supposed to be happy, not sad and gloomy with people being so afraid of their own shadows that their own shadows could beat them up. To me believing in oneself and doing everything that you can to live life to it's fullest is very, very important as you only have one life to life and if that means that I need to buy a gun to protect myself or to learn things like martial arts or verbal self defense, then that is what I am going to do as I certainly do not have any plans on being a statistic nor will I allow myself to play the victim just because someone else has problems that they need to work on.

No one ever said that life was fair at all and I know from past experience that life is not fair and that is why I am taking steps to improve myself and to protect myself using whatever means that I can while at the same time trying to find people who are nice, decent, honest, sincere, who are capable of believing in themselves, but in me as well.

Earlier today I bought a book written by Lillian Glass, PHD called 'Toxic People' that I am currently reading and so far it is pretty interesting. I am however no stranger to the concept as I have been introduced to it before. 

I have also been introduced to a book called 'Vital Lies, Simple Truths' which was written by psychologist Daniel Goleman. I have not read the book as of yet, but I am very familiar with the concept of self deception and self defeating behaviors as I have had psychology classes in the past at Normandale Community College in Bloomington, Minnesota and because of what I have studied relating to things like business, the martial arts, NLP, and other related subjects I am very aware that there are a lot of people out there who really couldn't care less about how other people think, feel, believe, or anything else like that. Those kids of people are considered to psychotic according to the DSM-IV and those are the kinds of people I prefer to stay away from.

I personally tend to be attracted to people who are honest, trustworthy, sincere, understanding, open minded, and supportive of any positive change that you attempt to make in your life and who are also smart enough to realize that we are all human and that we can and will make mistakes in our lives. 

I could say more about what I have experienced and what I have read and if someone were to ask then I will be more than happy to tell them. 

What's most important for me right now is in making enough money so that I can not only support myself financially, but so that I can also take care of things like vandalism to my car that has occured on more than one occasion and in defending myself. After the last incident that happened with my car in my neighborhood in which I caught someone in my car trying to steal my car and because of other things that have happened I am not exactly feeling very safe and secure.

I don't know if it will help anyone in understanding me at all, but according to recent MBTI tests that I have taken I am what the MBTI calls an ESTJ. I hope that might shed a little bit of light onto my overall personality and as to why I am the way that I am. 

When I first started studying the MBTI I thought that I was an ESTP because of the way that it described things and because of certain events that happend in my life when I was younger. I suspected myself to be an ESTJ for a while because of something that happened to me in 1987 that was both confusing and enjoyable at the same time, but it was not until recently that my suspicions about myself were confirmed by two separate online tests and by my own studies of both the MBTI and the enneagram.


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## Jazzey (Aug 26, 2009)

*Re: Craigslist Crime Becoming Common*

RD, I'm fairly open minded..For a variety of reasons.  In fact, I'll tell you that I'm a straight shot with a 22 caliber ( a hobby -that's it).

I agree RD, this life isn't supposed to be sad.  But that unfortunately isn't the way it works.  Right now, a year ago, I was being raped by a man...And if memory serves, this would have been the first of the 3 attacks that night.  He attacked me 4 more times on tomorrow's date.

Sometimes RD, life stinks.  It doesnt' meant that "people" as a whole stink - just a particular brand of people....

I get the feeling that you've had your share of suffering in this lifetime.. I'm not asking you to share. I am however asking you to recognize that whether we're male or female, sometime life deals a raw deal...No more comments that are "stereotypical" of the genders...Your smarter than that and I have a keen sense that you do it ti stir the pot  - "pot stirred" can we move on now RD?


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## white page (Aug 26, 2009)

*Re: Craigslist Crime Becoming Common*

A little common sense is useful, when looking at the human race, the majority of individuals are pleasant straightforward persons, leading quiet lives, at times under great difficulty, be it financial climatic or physical; everyday heroes. 
There is a minority that is made up of disturbed individuals, the power hungry, cynical or perverse. an even smaller minority is made up of psyopaths.

Now, we can choose to focus on the minorities, and call the human race all the names that come to mind, or we can accept that for one reason or another there will always be a minority which is dangerous. 

There is no point in even discussing a "miracle" solution, as this can lead us to ghastly theories such as eugenics.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugenics

 Who are we to judge whether another person is worthwhile or not?


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## rdonovan1 (Aug 26, 2009)

*Re: Craigslist Crime Becoming Common*



Jazzey said:


> RD, I'm fairly open minded..For a variety of reasons.  In fact, I'll tell you that I'm a straight shot with a 22 caliber ( a hobby -that's it).
> 
> I agree RD, this life isn't supposed to be sad.  But that unfortunately isn't the way it works.  Right now, a year ago, I was being raped by a man...And if memory serves, this would have been the first of the 3 attacks that night.  He attacked me 4 more times on tomorrow's date.
> 
> ...



I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. I personally think that stinks and that is definitely something that I would never do to any woman for any reason.

I however disagree with you about life having to be sad as life is what you make it. Sometimes however stupid or psychotic people or for that matter people who for whatever reason are just plain mean can and do get in the way and when that happens all that a person can do is to learn how to deal with them as effectively as they can.

I personally don't believe in stereotypes, but whether we like it or not there are a lot of people out there that do. Most of the stereotypes are just dead wrong and are based on fear and ignorance, but some however are based upon real scientific fact. 

Not to be stereotypical at all, but whether we like it or not many of the gender differences between men and women are based upon things like evolution, while other parts are based upon culture and environment.

I personally have several books that talk about things like that. One book is called 'How human nature shapes our choices', another one that I have is called 'Brain Sex'. I also have some books relating to the psychology and biology of women and a few relating to the psychology of men.

The ones that talk about the brain are in my opinion very accurate as we all know that both men and women can and do think and act very differently. As I said part of this is caused by evolution and by biology while other parts are caused by our environment and that is a subject that I tend to find very fascinating.

I don't know about you or anyone else, but I am particularly interested in the evolutionary side of things and as to how the mind really works. One of the things that I have learned from studying the works of people like Dr. Milton Erickson and Dr. Daniel Goleman is that much of what we tend to do comes from the amydala part of the brain. That part of the brain is the part that controls our instincts and our emotions and both our instincts and emotions are very closely tied to one another. 

A lot of it tends to date back to our caveman days when men were hunters and the women were gatherers and due to the fact that men were generally the ones that went out and did things like hunting and fighting they were generally the ones that got killed sooner. Women on the other hand were usually the ones staying at home taking care of the babies and because of that both men and women over the millenia ended up developing different mechanisms for survival and whether we like it or not those mechanisms still tend to influence how we think and act today on both sides of the fence.

You are right that I have had my fair share of suffering in life, but unlike a lot of people in life who choose to sit around and be afraid of their own shadows I at least am comfronting my fears and insecurities by learning how to conquer myself and by learning how to control my emotions by having more emotional intelligence and by making better decisions in life. Sometimes however it is easier said than done.


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## white page (Aug 26, 2009)

*Re: Craigslist Crime Becoming Common*

Of course there are gender differences, I agree with  some of the things you say rdonovan1 , and I  am happy to hear that you are being  so active in  taking control of your life   http://forum.psychlinks.ca/members/rdonovan1.html


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## rdonovan1 (Aug 26, 2009)

*Re: Craigslist Crime Becoming Common*



white page said:


> Of course there are gender differences, I agree with  some of the things you say rdonovan1 , and I  am happy to hear that you are being  so active in  taking control of your life   http://forum.psychlinks.ca/members/rdonovan1.html



What parts do you agree with and what parts do you disagree with? I am just curious.


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## Jazzey (Aug 26, 2009)

*Re: Craigslist Crime Becoming Common*



rdonovan1 said:


> I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. I personally think that stinks



Thank you RD.



> I however disagree with you about life having to be sad as life is what you make it. Sometimes however stupid or psychotic people or for that matter people who for whatever reason are just plain mean can and do get in the way and when that happens all that a person can do is to learn how to deal with them as effectively as they can.



I don't think I said that. Or at least, that's not what I meant.  Sometimes, there are parts of life that are more difficult.  Life experiences that are difficult.  I was more concerned about painting everyone with the same brush RD.  Meaning that I don't think "men" are bad.  The rapist was a bad man, that's it.  What we do with our life experiences, how we evolve from them is what's important.  

But if we look at all of those experiences to just say, I'm not going to trust people, or society is a dangerous place, then I just don't see how that can leave too much room for the pleasurable things in life.  



> I personally don't believe in stereotypes, but whether we like it or not there are a lot of people out there that do. Most of the stereotypes are just dead wrong and are based on fear and ignorance, but some however are based upon real scientific fact.
> 
> Not to be stereotypical at all, but whether we like it or not many of the gender differences between men and women are based upon things like evolution, while other parts are based upon culture and environment.



All stereotypes are wrong RD.  That's the nature of "stereotypes".  It's painting a category of people with the same brush.  And, with all due respect, you've made some comments on this forum that were very sexist and stereotypical of women.

And therein lies the danger of painting people with the same brush.  It's assisting the promulgation of stereotypes, maybe even creating some new ones in the process.  Not to mention that I personally find them offensive.



> The ones that talk about the brain are in my opinion very accurate as we all know that both men and women can and do think and act very differently. As I said part of this is caused by evolution and by biology while other parts are caused by our environment and that is a subject that I tend to find very fascinating.



I agree, it is interesting how the brain works.  And I'll agree that, generally speaking, men and women do think differently.  But again, there is a danger in forgetting the individual in the equation.  I wouldn't want a man in my life assuming that because I'm a woman, I think like every other woman - besides, what exactly does that mean?  

I love books.  I'm an avid reader of many things.  But the pleasure in reading is to use  your analytical thinking, your critical thinking.  Not just to ingest the information on the page.  On several of your threads that I've read so far, you seem to accept that you have independent thinking, individual thinking but by the same token, want to lump women into one category of thinkers.  

Each of us will indeed be formed by our life experiences, our thinking will be shaped by those experiences.  It's not just the plain mechanics of the brain at work.  Otherwise, we wouldn't need psychiatrists, psychologists...

I won't quote the rest of your post.  But again, I'd make the same comments I've made above.  I love principles of evolution too, it is fascinating.  But I don't like to lock things into those principles.  Society has come a long way since those caveman days, and so has our understanding of all of the sciences, including psychology, psychiatry.  



> You are right that I have had my fair share of suffering in life, but unlike a lot of people in life who choose to sit around and be afraid of their own shadows I at least am comfronting my fears and insecurities by learning how to conquer myself and by learning how to control my emotions by having more emotional intelligence and by making better decisions in life. Sometimes however it is easier said than done.



:2thumbs:  absolutely RD.  I think it's great that you are bettering yourself.  And there is no doubt that you are an intelligent person with many interests.


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## rdonovan1 (Aug 28, 2009)

*Re: Craigslist Crime Becoming Common*

I agree with you stereotypes are stupid. Unfortunately whether we like it or not there are a lot of people out there that still believe that they need to stereotype other people. 

I have seen this not only during my time as an over the road truck driver, but also when I have done security work. 

Up until recently I have been having a very hard time finding any kind of work that was not on call. Just recently I have gotten a job working for Akal Security. At that job I am going to be dealing with a lot of stupd and hostile people and according to the manager there it is very likely that I can and will get into altercations with people just due to the overall nature of the job.

If had one day of orientation and training already and at the moment I am scheduled to go back on Monday for further training. By the time that I am done with all of my training I am supposed to be guard card certified up through level three which means that at that level I will be authorized to do anything from unarmed security all the way up through carrying a gun if the job and the post requires me to do so. 

I am also supposed to be getting my liquor license as well so by the time that I am done with that I will also be licensed in the State of New Mexico to also be a bartender if I were to so choose to do so, but I seriously don't think that I will get into that area at all as I certainly don't want to play the role of someone else's psychotherapist.

My focus is on just making enough money so that I can be happy and in trying to find the right woman for me so that I can settle down and live out the American dream.

---------- Post added August 28th, 2009 at 02:01 AM ---------- Previous post was August 27th, 2009 at 11:58 PM ----------



Have you ever done security work or driven a truck over the road or even lived in a bad neighborhood?

I am not trying to be cynical at all, just realistic. Thinkng positive and having fun is a great thing, but let's not forget basic safety and security.


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