# Dilbert Quotes



## NicNak (May 27, 2009)

Dilbert Quotes
_Dilbert: Cartoon created by Scott Adams, American cartoonist, born 1957_


Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

All of your co-workers are fools. You must learn to pity and tolerate them.

An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience.

Change is good. You go first.

Feedback is a business term which refers to the joy of criticizing other people's work. This is one of the few genuine pleasures of the job, and you should milk it for all it's worth.

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. 

If you spend all of your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.

I'll be happy to make these unnecessary changes to this irrelevant document.

I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.

Managers are like cats in a litter box. They instinctively shuffle things around to conceal what they've done.

Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.

The best things in life are silly.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.


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## Jazzey (May 27, 2009)

One of my favorite quotes, although not Dilbert's...

"I'm not a mean person...You're just a whimp"   (and yes, I've motified it a bit  )


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