# Can't shake the thought!



## Heather (Jul 11, 2005)

Hi I am new so I am sorry to post already like this. I have sort of been busy with stuff at uni until now to really be on here much and I don’t get a lot of time to do anything at the best of times! 

Anyway I am a survivor of childhood abuse basically anyway my mother and sister have come to stay at my house for a little over a week as they have a conference close to where I live and they live heaps far away. Anyway mother has made everything bad she has upset my flat mates to the point that they want to leave and there is much more. And the thing is that I am not a child I am 23 years old, I mean she helped to ruin my childhood, I wish she would leave my adulthood alone!!!

Basically I am looking at my life and thinking I wake up in pain, I go to sleep in pain and it is there in-between so what is the point. I am not going to do anything silly don’t worry it is just a thought that I am having trouble shaking!

Heather…


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## Heather (Jul 24, 2005)

I don't really feel that this site is the one for me no one seems to care (story of my life so it is ok) so I wish you all well I dunno if I will be back but I guess that I will see...


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## David Baxter PhD (Jul 24, 2005)

Heather: 

There are days when the forum gets a lot of posts and days when people have less time to read and reply to them all -- if you happen to hit a day when both of those things are true, your post may get missed.

That doesn't mean people don't care. It more likely means they didn't see your post.

The other thing about your original post here is that there is no question asked, or at least no specific question. It reads more like a statement of how you see things or saw them at that moment. I expect some of the people who did red your post may not have known how to respond or what to say.


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## Heather (Jul 24, 2005)

Thanks heaps for your reply, I didn’t just mean my reply though, but I understand what you mean. Don’t worry I am not worth the effort anyway.

Thanks again Heather…


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## ThatLady (Jul 24, 2005)

Of course you're worth the effort, hon, and we do care. Dr. Baxter hit on my problem with your post. I didn't quite know how to answer it. It almost sounded like a need to vent, which we all understand.

Since you seem to have been looking for response, I'll say what comes to my mind. Your mother was staying in YOUR home. That means you have the perfect right to tell her that if she can't behave in a manner that doesn't upset everyone around her, she'll need to find another place to stay for the duration of her convention. There's no need to allow someone, even if that someone is your mother, to disrupt your household. That's what hotels are for.


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## Heather (Jul 25, 2005)

Hi ThatLady,

I wasn't only refering to this particular post when I said what I did.

Anyway thanks heaps for your reply abd kind words.

Heather...


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## ThatLady (Jul 25, 2005)

You're welcome, sweetie. We all have problems we have to deal with, and it's never fun to try to do so, especially when we feel nobody understands. The trick is to keep talking, and clarifying until people DO understand. The people on these boards, for sure, want to understand and want to help. Just keep on keeping on, and let us know what feelings you're having that are giving you trouble. There's a pretty good chance that somebody on these boards has had those same feelings, or similar ones, and might have some good suggestions for you. )


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## Heather (Jul 25, 2005)

Thanks ThatLady I will keep in mind what you have said but for now I feel more comfortable trying to help others rather than writing about myself I am not good at writing about myself and you have no idea how long it took to post this message, I had this sitting in Microsoft word for days and I went over and over and over it before I sent it because I was so scared to send it. So we will see.

Thanks again Heather...

P.S. T be honest I am not really in a good place right now (I mean emotionally).


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## ThatLady (Jul 25, 2005)

Helping others is often a very good way to help ourselves, hon. While we're working out our problems, we can help others work theirs out. Often, there's a correlation to be found that will end by helping both parties.


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## Heather (Jul 25, 2005)

Yes you are very right we just have to ensure that we don't go too far with that though and end up using it as a supressor of our issues!

Anyway thanks again, at least I am not feeling as pathetic as I was a few days ago 

Heather...


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