# Long Distance Relationships



## Mia713 (Jun 3, 2006)

I was just wondering if anyone had any advice concerning long distance relationships. My fiance and I have been together for 9 months now. We met at school and now that school is out for the summer I am back at home in New York, and he is back at home in Maryland. :sigh: This means that we are 6 hours apart and I wont be seeing him for two months. Is anyone currently in a long distance relationship, or has ever been in one? How do you cope with missing the other person? Any advice on this is greatly appreciated. I just feel so lost without him, and as if a piece of me is missing. :frown:


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## Holly (Jun 3, 2006)

Hi Mia,
I have been in a long distance relationship from Canada to United States.
It has many benefits, really you may not know yet but it does!!  I guess that not the best advice, the plane trip was longer than six hours! 
OK I will tell you some of the benefits, when you see each other you know for sure how much you miss each other! In a way it is nice because you do not fight as much! You can spoil each other also! 
I will have to say long distance calls, emails, and sending pictures can help. It works if both are committed to making it work! 
I will think of more and let you know OK!


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## David Baxter PhD (Jun 3, 2006)

I think relationships at all can be tough and long-distance relationships even tougher, but if you both know what you want, two months isn't nearly as long as it seems.

MSN Messenger and Skype can be helpful in saving on long-distance phone bills. Write a lot of emails and letters. That will help you to keep connected even at a distance.


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## just mary (Jun 3, 2006)

I was in a long distance relationship in my early twenties/late teens and it was alright. I agree with Holly, there are a lot of perks. When you go out with your friends, you just have a good time because you know that someone loves you. But you don't have to glom on to that person all night, you can be yourself. It can be really nice.

But like Dr. Baxter said, it can be hard also. You just have to be sure that it's something you both want.

Good luck Mia!


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## healthbound (Jun 3, 2006)

Hey Mia713 👋

I was in a long distance relationship for a year (before we did the "long distance thing" we were in the same city for about a year as well). It can be challenging, but we used to talk everyday (sometimes several times per day) over the phone, e-mail and msn. I actually didn't mind it too much until it became too expensive for one of us to fly to visit the other once a month.

Will you guys see each other within the 2 month break?


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## Mia713 (Jun 3, 2006)

Thanks for the replies and advice everyone! 

Healthbound,
Well summer break is actually 4 months long. He is flying up in July for my birthday. So we have to wait 2 months to see eachother instead 4.


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## Halo (Jun 3, 2006)

Hi Mia,

I have never been in a long term relationship however the first thing that I thought of when I read everyones post was that yes it is nice to know that you have someone in this world that loves you unconditionally and that is going to be looking forward to seeing you but how nice it is to have the next couple of months to look after yourself and do what you need to do for yourself so you are stronger which can inturn make your relationship stronger without having to think or worry about another person. I think that is a real gift. 

As I said, I have never been in that situation so maybe I am completely out to lunch. Hope all works out for you.


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## Mia713 (Jun 4, 2006)

Good point Nancy. I never thought of it that way before. Thanks


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## Peanut (Jun 4, 2006)

I've never been in a long distance relationship but personally I think a long distance relationship would really have its perks...like several others have said, you know someone cares about you but they aren't RIGHT there all the time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder! Plus, like Dr. B was saying, all the technology out there makes long distance relationships a lot different than it was 10 years ago.


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## JA (Jun 5, 2006)

Hi Mia!

I'm actually known in my circle of friends for "the one who's always in a long distance relationship"...so I kinda had to reply  

Although I have know people who say they tried it and it wasn't for them, I actually have been in a 2 yr relationship that was long distance all year long for the whole time except for the summers (and that was a while ago, when long distances cost 15 cents a minutes on cheep nights and internet didn't exist )... and I found it worked fine (eventually ended, but not because of the distance )... we were 4 or 5 hours away and we'd see eachother every couple of months... 

My current boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years, and at least half of that has been long distance...(the rest we lived together). I guess we're both at a time in our life where we can't seem to stay in one place, let alone the same place at the same time... I must say I have grown to see the positive side of both long-distance and not. Like others have said, when you two are farther away, you actually have much more time for your friends and personal hobbies. I know I tend to neglect mine a bit, so being appart gives me plenty of chances for "girl's nights" and adult pajama parties (ok, think I'm weird if you will, but they're fun!!! ), and all of that while knowing somebody loves you and misses you. Plus, like others said, with Skype and other such programs, it's just sooo easy to stay really in contact all the time! 

The hardest part, in my experience, is really the begining and the end (for instance, the first week or two that you're appart and the last week or two before he comes to see you). In the begining, you're just so used to seeing him all the time that it's all you can think about... near the end, it's just been so long you don't want to wait anymore...Planing ahead a bit, if you can try to plan a couple extra friend-related activities during that time, I find it really helps...

Anyway, really long post just to say, it can totally be done, and it even has alot of good sides!
Don't hesitate to ask if you feel I could help in any way... I understand that it's a really hard transition to make, long-distance relationships are the story of my (love) life so far 


Good luck with your fiance and keep us posted!


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## Mia713 (Jun 6, 2006)

Thanks JA for the advice! I definitely am going to plan some get togethers with friends during the two weeks before I see him again.


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## Mia713 (Jun 14, 2006)

we broke up. i feel like im going to die.


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## Halo (Jun 14, 2006)

Mia my heart goes out to you honey. I know that it must feel horrible right now. I really don't have any relationship advice (it has been way too long for me to comment) but what I can do is offer my support. I will always be here when and if you need to talk. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Take Care and big {{hugs}} for you.

Nancy


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## JA (Jun 15, 2006)

I'm so sorry it didn't work out. Breakups really suck. I hope you're taking good care of yourself... I don't have much to say except we're all here for you if you need us.

Take care and, like Nancy said, big hugs for you


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## ThatLady (Jun 15, 2006)

Oh, Mia, I'm sorry, hon. Even an ol' broad like me can remember what break-ups felt like. 

You're still so very young and so much of life is still waiting to be lived. There's someone out there for you and you'll find him when the time is right, luv. I know that sounds impossible right now, but...well, sometimes things happen for the best. Grieve your loss and go on, hon. There's a big ol' world out there, and you have us right beside you.


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## healthbound (Jun 18, 2006)

Mia, I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you.


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## Into The Light (Jun 24, 2006)

hi mia we haven't talked yet on the forum but i have read some of your posts so i feel like i know you a little. i just wanted to let you know we are all here for you. i hope you are as ok as you can be.


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