# Emotional rollercoaster



## Into The Light (Jun 14, 2006)

this is my first real post. here goes. i'm currently recovering from depression. i think i have figured out the cause. something that may be solved in time. in the meantime i just feel sad a lot. then i have good moments and things are ok. but then i feel sadness again. i am so tired of always feeling something negative. is this normal to be up and down so much when recovering. how long is this supposed to go on for? i am definitely on the mend but impatient.


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## just mary (Jun 14, 2006)

*Re: emotional rollercoaster*

Hey there,

First off, it's good to hear from you.  

Sorry to hear you're feeling so down though. How long have you suffered from depression? You mentioned you were recovering, how long has that been happening for? How have you dealt with your depression in the past? Have you talked to any counsellors, doctors, friends, etc.? Have you taken any medication? 

By the way, you don't have to answer any of these questions, I'm not a counsellor or a therapist, I'm just a member of this forum. (Just wanted you to know in case you were expecting some brilliant answer from me, though I can safely say you WILL get some pretty amazing help from others on this forum - you can trust me on that) 

Take care,


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## ThatLady (Jun 14, 2006)

*Re: emotional rollercoaster*

I think impatience is a problem we all face when recovering from depression. The ups and downs are, for most people, a normal part of the recovery process. As for how long it will continue, that depends on the person, their reaction to the course of treatment, and the amount of stress in their everyday lives, I believe.

Are you currently under treatment by a professional? If so, are you on medications? Do you receive therapy, and do you feel comfortable discussing the problems you're having with the therapist?

I'm glad to hear you feel you're on the mend. That's a good sign, hon. Now, you just have to fight off the urge to rush things...just like the rest of us do, or did. It's one small step at a time.


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## Retired (Jun 14, 2006)

*Re: emotional rollercoaster*

Hello BaseballCap!

Thanks for sharing your story. As Mary suggested, it may help if you could provide a few more insights into where you are situated in your recovery at this time.

Information as to previous episodes, current therapy regime, duration of current therapy regime and what support system you currently have available will help other Forum members relate to your own experience.

Some medications require a considerable amount of time before there is noticeable improvement in mood, and sometimes medication needs to be fine tuned for dosage and even the actual compound before the right combination is found for your particular brain chemistry.

The good news is that most people will achieve the goal of their therapy, which is to have more good days that bad days.

Many people who have been treated for the illness of depression, will notice that even when they know they are having one or a few bad days of mood crash, that the relapse is only temporary, and will last just a few days. Knowing that the mood crash will pass, is comforting in itself, and so people will just ride it out with the knowledge it will pass and more good days are around the corner.

Will be looking forward to hearing about your current therapy.

Regards,


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## Into The Light (Jun 14, 2006)

*Re: emotional rollercoaster*

i'm not on medication as the depression was/is mild. working on lifestyle changes and its helping. but sometimes i slip back into old habits and all the negative stuff comes back some. i am seeing a therapist who is very helpful. for the most part i feel like i can talk to him. the only thing is sometimes i feel stupid after the fact about things that i have told him. like sometimes i have seen him when things were pretty rough and i was honest about stuff. but then a couple of weeks later when i feel much better then i am embarassed about the things i told him. when i feel good then i think i exaggerated things. i worry then what he must think of me. i dont know. i just get confused by all of these feelings. when i feel down it is all so real but when i feel better then i can't even remember if it was really as bad as i made it out to be. anyone else go through this?


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## Daniel (Jun 14, 2006)

*Re: emotional rollercoaster*



> when i feel down it is all so real but when i feel better then i can't even remember if it was really as bad as i made it out to be. anyone else go through this?



Yes. Also, generally speaking, most people do a poor job of reporting their previous levels of happinesss or depression.  According to the book _Stumbling on Happiness_, people can only accurately report on their current, immediate state of mind.  This is why people who are on meds or in therapy are sometimes told to write a mood journal.


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## stargazer (Jun 15, 2006)

I can identify with that. When, after a period of depression, I find myself feeling "up" again, I have a hard time even remembering the details of the depression, or why I had become depressed, or what it felt like at all. And yet, when depressed, I had a hard time conceiving of why I wasn't feeling that way all the time. 

One thing that's been reported to me, however, is that I don't seem to come across to others in a way that's distinguishably different between the times when I am depressed and the times when I'm more up. I'm not sure why that is. I know that earlier, when my mood swings were perhaps more severe, people could tell a lot easier. 

I think there's something in my upbringing, having to do with my dad. Maybe I take a certain pride in concealing my feelings in many situations in life. I don't know....


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## Into The Light (Jun 16, 2006)

ok, so this is normal then and to be expected. it is very draining though. stargazer i think i can relate with the fact that others can't see much difference when you are up or down. i think it's because so much goes through your mind but it is invisible to others. people close to me do not seem to understand what it feels like when i am low. they do not grasp the intensity of it. i just feel like i have so many emotions and they are are so real. i am not sure how else to describe. i think people just think i exaggerate. you try to tell them how much it hurts and they somehow shrug it off. daniel the mood journal is a good idea. just to prove to myself that i really did have those feelings.


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## Daniel (Jun 26, 2006)

> i think people just think i exaggerate. you try to tell them how much it hurts and they somehow shrug it off.



Yes, that's a very common experience.  In college, all of my close friends were guys, and I didn't receive much in the way of understanding except from my best friend.  

Explaining depression to someone who has never really known someone with depression can be like explaining hunger to an alien.


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## Halo (Jun 27, 2006)

Daniel  said:
			
		

> Explaining depression to someone who has never really known someone with depression can be like explaining hunger to an alien.



How true is that!!!

Nancy


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## ^^Phoenix^^ (Jun 27, 2006)

*Re: emotional rollercoaster*



			
				baseballcap  said:
			
		

> i'm not on medication as the depression was/is mild. working on lifestyle changes and its helping. but sometimes i slip back into old habits and all the negative stuff comes back some. i am seeing a therapist who is very helpful. for the most part i feel like i can talk to him. the only thing is sometimes i feel stupid after the fact about things that i have told him. like sometimes i have seen him when things were pretty rough and i was honest about stuff. but then a couple of weeks later when i feel much better then i am embarassed about the things i told him. when i feel good then i think i exaggerated things. i worry then what he must think of me. i dont know. i just get confused by all of these feelings. when i feel down it is all so real but when i feel better then i can't even remember if it was really as bad as i made it out to be. anyone else go through this?



try not to have any guilt or embarrasment about what you tell your therapist. if what you were saying was real at the time then it is good that he/she got a chance to hear you out.


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## stargazer (Jun 27, 2006)

*Re: emotional rollercoaster*



			
				baseballcap  said:
			
		

> sometimes i have seen him when things were pretty rough and i was honest about stuff. but then a couple of weeks later when i feel much better then i am embarassed about the things i told him. when i feel good then i think i exaggerated things. i worry then what he must think of me. i dont know. i just get confused by all of these feelings. when i feel down it is all so real but when i feel better then i can't even remember if it was really as bad as i made it out to be. anyone else go through this?



Actually, I think that your awareness of those kinds of shifting outlooks is something you can ultimately use to your advantage. The next time you're in a deep depression, you might be able to step out of it just a bit and remind yourself that there will be a future time when it will appear to you that things were not really so bad as all that. Without denying the depth of the depression, you might still be able to detach enough to say, "This too shall pass." 

Then again, when you are feeling better, you might be able to develop some tools to deal with the depression the next time it strikes. I think it helps to view these things when we're not in their immediate grip, and to make plans and develop strategies for dealing with them. In other words, you can learn how to use all the different feelings, emotions, and viewpoints you encounter on the wheel.

I'm saying this because I'm trying to do the same thing myself, with my own mood swings, which can at times be very intense and unpredictable. It never helps to deny them, but it doesn't help to give in to them either. There's a part of me that can just sort of take note of them, and let them go.


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## ^^Phoenix^^ (Jun 27, 2006)

stargazer  said:
			
		

> I'm saying this because I'm trying to do the same thing myself, with my own mood swings, which can at times be very intense and unpredictable. It never helps to deny them, but it doesn't help to give in to them either. There's a part of me that can just sort of take note of them, and let them go.



Hi SG
I just had to give you *snaps* for being able to do this, and finding that it helps. I like your approach, *don't deny them-but don't give into them*, Because your right, you should do both, and neither at the same time. I am glad for you too that you can let them go once you've acknowledged them.


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## stargazer (Jun 27, 2006)

^^Phoenix^^  said:
			
		

> I am glad for you too that you can let them go once you've acknowledged them.



Well, I can't, always. But I try to, and sometimes I can, and it helps. It just takes practice and commitment.


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## Into The Light (Jul 8, 2006)

hi stargazer and phoenix, thanks for the input. it makes me feel better. i know i shouldn't worry about things i have said but that is easier said than done  i've started to tell myself that the things i am worrying about are probably long forgotten by the other party or they never even noticed anything. it helps some.

stargazer that is a very interesting point you've brought up. i've kind of thought of it myself too but never really did anything with it. resistance maybe? i will have to try to apply it though and see what happens. how long have you been struggling with depression?


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