# Scrupulosity, Morality, and Intrusive Thoughts



## David Baxter PhD (Jul 8, 2018)

*Scrupulosity, Morality, and Intrusive Thoughts*
by Therese Borchard
July 8, 2018

 I have said many places that growing up Catholic, for me, was both a blessing and a curse.

 A blessing in that my faith became a refuge for me, a retreat where  my disordered thinking could latch unto practices and traditions that  made me feel normal. Catholicism, with all of its rituals and faith  objects, provided me a safe place to go for comfort and consolation, to  hear I wasn’t alone, and that I would be taken care of. It was, and has  been throughout my life, a source of hope.

 But my fervent faith was also a curse in that, with all of its stuff  (medals, rosaries, icons, statues), it dressed and disguised my illness  as piety. So instead of taking me to the school psychologist or to a  mental health professional, the adults in my life considered me a very  holy child, a religious prodigy with a curiously intense faith.

 For anyone prone to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), religion can serve as a trap within a sanctuary.

 Almost every anxiety and insecurity I felt as I kid fed into one  fear: I was going to hell. Therefore I did everything in my power to  prevent that. My bedtime prayers lasted longer than those recited by  Benedictine monks; I read the Bible start to finish; I walked to daily  Mass; and every Good Friday I spent five hours in the basement praying  all the mysteries of the rosary. But it was never enough. Intrusive  thoughts stalked me, telling me I was a horrible person.

*What Is Scrupulosity?*
 Robert McCauley, Ph.D. offers a helpful definition of scrupulosity in his Psychology Today blog:

_Scrupulous individuals fret incessantly about committing  religious or moral offenses or overlooking religious or moral  obligations. As with other forms of OCD, scrupulous people often focus  on matters that other (religious) people regard as minor or trivial  (e.g., daydreaming during prayer).

 They exhibit all of the prominent patterns associated with OCD.  Scrupulous individuals accord great moral and causal significance to  their thoughts. They agonize about their inability to control their  thoughts and, particularly, their problematic intrusive thoughts. That  leads to constantly performing rituals and pursuing reassurance wherever  it can be found._
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David Clark and Christine Purdon write in their book Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts  that “there is no evidence that religion causes OCD. However, your  religious background and experience can influence the type of  obsessional concerns that develop in people with OCD.” Their book is  among the resources listed in a great overview of scrupulosity by The  Apostolic Christian Counseling and Family Services called Scrupulosity: When OCD Gets Tangled in Religious and Moral Matters.

 It makes sense that intrusive thoughts would hone in on morality  issues and religion: It’s a kind of perfectionism, a means to meet the  insatiable urge to feel good about who we are when our mood disorder is  trying to convince us otherwise. Guilt is a hallmark symptom of  depression. Different rites and rituals belonging to the world religions  attempt to alleviate guilt. But when mixed with intrusive thoughts,  they have the potential to generate even more shame.

*What Scrupulosity Looks Like*
 I thought I was merely trying to be a good Catholic until I landed in  therapy my freshman year at college. My counselor encouraged me to read  the book _The Boy Who Couldn’t Stop Washing: The Experience and Treatment of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder_  by Judith L. Rapoport. After reading her pages, I breathed out a  huge sigh of relief: I might not be headed towards the burning flames of  hell, after all.

 Two anecdotes from Rapoport’s book accurately articulate the kind of mental anguish attached to scrupulosity:

_Sally, a bright, blonde sixth-grader, had looked forward  to her Confirmation. Getting a new dress and having her aunt so proud of  her outweighed all the hard work. But a few weeks before the big day  she started having crying spells, couldn’t sleep, and lost ten pounds.  It all began suddenly, when Sally was doing a class punishment  assignment. She thought that she wasn’t doing it properly, that she was  “sinning.” I’m always doing something wrong, she felt. The feeling  stayed with her. Each day her symptoms became more intense. “If I touch  the table, I’m really offending God,” she whispered. She folded her arms  and withdrew into deep thought. Sally was terror-struck that she might  have offended God by touching her hands. Did that mean that she was  striking God? She wondered, retreating further into herself.

 Daniel described how hundreds of times each day he would “get a  feeling” that he had “done something wrong” and that it displeased God.  To avoid possible punishment for these “wrongdoings” at God’s hands, he  would punish himself in some way, thus reducing his concern about some  more awful punishment occurring at some later time. He would also avoid  any actions or thoughts that had accompanied these feelings. This led to  the development of complex rules which, in Daniel’s mind, placed  prohibitions on his behavior and thinking in virtually every situation  of his life._
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*Scrupulosity and Triggers*
 How does a person continue to participate in his or her faith while staying clear of scrupulosity?

 Know your triggers.

 For example, I tend to avoid the sacrament of confession. In the  second grade, my religion teacher explained that we enter the  confessional as a caterpillar and exist as a butterfly. But that has  never been my experience. My poor creature comes out limping, feeling  horribly guilty, disgusted with myself, embarrassed, and every emotion  they say you get rid of when the priest absolves you. For days  afterward, I can’t stop obsessing about all my sins. I also stay away  from fasting because I have a history of an eating disorder. Eating  three meals a day is an important part of my recovery.

 Don’t get me wrong. I think confession, fasting, and all the rites of  the major religions can be beautiful, transformative actions that lead  to a deeper faith and a sense of love and hope. However, for someone  prone to OCD, who constantly beats herself up for every  less-than-perfect thing she does, or thought she has, certain rites and  rituals can become weapons used to further hack away at self-esteem.

 Today I do my best to participate in rites and rituals that feed my  soul — fill me with a sense of goodness and love — and refrain from  those that contribute to self-deprecating and hurtful thoughts. It’s  been a long journey of recognizing what healthy faith looks like as  opposed to a form of OCD.

*Morality and God’s Unconditional Love*
 For anyone who struggles with scrupulosity or intrusive thoughts  related to morality, I think it’s extremely important to remember is  that God loves us as we are. We don’t have to earn His love — not with  actions (rosaries), behaviors (being good enough), or with thinking the  right thoughts. God loves us unconditionally and forgives all of our  sins, real or imaginary.


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## Daniel (Apr 4, 2021)

Most of us aren't Hitlers or animal abusers. Most of us are affected by a long Christian tradition that, in matters of moral import, equates thoughts with deeds; on some level we feel that to think something "bad" is equivalent to doing something bad. So we carry needless psychic baggage in the form of shame and guilt about ourselves.

~ Timothy Beneke


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## Daniel (Jun 29, 2021)

Stop Trying to Be Perfect and Start Being OK
					


Why being the OK-est version of you is the antidote to OCD.





					www.psychologytoday.com
				




Your goal, as a scrupulosity sufferer, is not to become the best person, or be the best practitioner of your faith but is to just be the world’s OK-est version of you. Not perfect; just, OK.


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## Daniel (Oct 13, 2021)

Spirituality/religion and obsessive–compulsive-related disorders
					


Spirituality and religion (S/R) commonly emerge as themes in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), including intrusive thoughts about sin, blasphemous …





					www.sciencedirect.com
				




Spirituality and religion (S/R) commonly emerge as themes in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), including intrusive thoughts about sin, blasphemous images, and excessive fears of punishment from God. To relieve the distress associated with these thoughts, individuals with OCD may pray, seek reassurance from clergy members, or engage in inappropriate confession behaviors in a manner that exceeds, and in some cases contravenes, their religious or cultural norms.

Research does not suggest that S/R causes or even predicts greater levels of OCD on the whole, rather when religious individuals develop OCD their symptoms tend to take on religious themes. However, research also suggests that the presence of religious obsessions and compulsions predicts poorer outcomes in OCD treatment. This may be explained by limited knowledge among clinicians about religious symptom presentations, as well as difficulty differentiating symptoms from normative religious practices.


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