# Moth vs. Computer



## Andy (Jul 11, 2009)

Okay. I was going to put this under phobias but I plan to go off on a tangent about Canadians and their manners too.

I rely on my computer to keep my mind as far away from my thoughts as possible.  I know I need to go to therapy to try to work through some of those things but my psychiatrist keeps dropping the ball on that one.  Anyway, point being I rely on my computer to keep me, well "here" to be honest.  

I left my apartment today which was alright, I actually didn't have much anxiety (I am so not going to that park for a long time...sorry different story). I went to my usual convenience store so it's easy to sit in my car and wait for less people etc. Anyway, it was all, dare I say good?! lol 

I came home and did some stuff and then came into my room where my PC is.  Get on line, out of the corner of my eye I see something fly by. Now I have lived here for a few years and only had a fly in here once. Normally, anywhere else I would have assumed it was a moth and high tailed it out of there.  I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks  that's what I'll say for now. Then I saw it again. I was thinking it was another fly so I got up and looked around and then there it was...a MOTH. Oh good lord kill me now. lol :hide: I have a severe phobia of moths, I believe they call it Mottophobia or something similar to that.

I won't go into all the details of how completely irrational and scared I become but needless to say I broke my alarm clock (again) and in my panic to get out of my bedroom once I realized what it was, I knocked over a shelf.

I use to get people to kill them for me. Since living alone and not around anyone I have had to attempt to kill them myself(in my old apartment). I even got my neighbour who I didn't know to come in and get one, one time. That was not a good idea because then afterward the guy harassed me about dating him (lol again, another story). Lesson learned. 

I have been attempting to get this thing for awhile now. I have pulled my computer (desks on wheels) over to my bedroom door as far as it will go and I have my eye on the exact spot where it's hiding. I tried to swat it once but it flew at me and that had me on the ground. lol It's really quite the production. I can laugh about it but at the time it's not funny. Most of my friends use to kill them for me but there were the odd few who thought it was funny to catch them and throw them in my face. There's an idiot in every crowd I suppose, I just always assumed it was me!

I can't move now either, because if I do then I will think that it moved and I missed it. You know how those Moths are so stealth like. If I don't find it, even by turning on the light tonight (I usually leave my lights off, oy vey) then I will be sleeping on the couch. 

I would like to leave my bedroom, but as I said my only source of sanity is here so here I sit. My computer, my moth and I. Sounds like the title to a horror movie...

I am actually feeling quite perky today. lol Which is fine with me as long as I stay where I am and not where I think I'm going. 

This is really long already so I won't go into my other tangent. I will just say and this is my opinion, that Canadians use to be polite people. Now either I just happen to run into these types of people (which also would not shock me) or clearly a lot of us just don't care anymore.  I am overly polite and apologetic, annoyingly so according to my "friends". 

Do you think Canadians are losing their manners?


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## NicNak (Jul 11, 2009)

Hi STP.  

Is your phobia with touching the moth, the moth touching you?  Either way, is there anyway you can get a pair of dishwashing gloves and a can or Raid bug spray and zap the moth?

I am not sure if you are refering in a joking way about the uninvited Canadian Moth being rude or the neighbour?

May you clairify so if it is your neighbour we can maybe offer some suggetions?  I am Canadian and ofcourse not offended :blush:  I know some people can be quite rude.


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## Andy (Jul 11, 2009)

lol Well it goes without saying. All Canadian moths are rude! That neighbour I referred to was in my old apartment building. 

I can touch the moth with a paper towel after it's dead. That only gives me the heeby geebies. If a moth touches me, I panic and I have this whole process I go through, if I can't get it away I have been known to throw up. I think it's mostly if the moth is flying or moving. If it's sitting still I can keep my eye on it and keep my anxiety somewhat in check. 
I use to have bug spray but I haven't needed any here so I haven't picked any more up. I sprayed lysol room deodorizer around the area where it is lol I am hoping it will keel over or take offense and leave. :teehee:


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## NicNak (Jul 11, 2009)

Actually STP, the Lysol spray might kill him too.  :teehee:  If you zap him with a direct spray.


Regarding your neighbour, does your neighbour still ask you for dates?  

I have become direct about that sort of thing and just will tell them stright up "Thank you, but I am not interested"  If they keep pushing, I stop being so nice :blush:  I will just continue to tell them no until it finally gets through their thick skulls :lol:


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## Andy (Jul 11, 2009)

I forgot to explain about the rudeness. lol Sorry. I just notice that when I do go out it seems that people at stores that I go to don't say please and thank-you. I have always (oh yes, always lol) been maybe overly aware of peoples mannerisms and I notice things about people that a lot of people don't. Anyone who knows me knows I am overly observant. I use to think that I was just being overly sensitive. I'm not. I don't think I can be overly sensitive about whether a person says please and thank-you or holds a door, or pretends not to bud in line etc.

I just wonder if maybe because I am not around people often that maybe it seems like everyone is this way, or if I am convincing myself that they are so that I have another reason to stay home. Maybe both?

I don't expect people to stay Canadian and apologize for everything, I annoy myself by doing that all the time. If someone bumped into me while I was standing still, I would say I was sorry.:teehee:


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## David Baxter PhD (Jul 11, 2009)

I'm also confused about the connection between rudeness and moths.


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## NicNak (Jul 11, 2009)

I am the same way.  I find people rude too.  I am always "please, thank you," taught to be polite, but I never seem to see others do it.

My Psychiatrist once said to me interms of when I was feeling like people were watching me all the time with the anxiety, he said "No one cares what you are doing, they are all wrapped up in  their own lives"

So interms of people not holding doors.  Sometimes I think they really do overlook that someone is there or even in line ups, they just draw their focus to one spot and assume that is the last space.  Granted there are people who are rude in this context, but I usually chalk it up to that they have other things on their minds.

Regarding the please, thank you etc, I get upset about that too.  In my day to day life, I am always thanking people for the things they do for me.  Then when they do not thank me, I take it like the nice things I do are just something to be expected, or that they are taking me for granted.

Unforunetly I do not have much advice on this area as it is something I continue to struggle with.  Sometimes I gently pull the person aside, friends or family and explain that I feel like I am being taken for granted.  Not  sure if that really works either, but I try to tell people gently how I feel.  Then hopefully they have more understanding.


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## Andy (Jul 11, 2009)

NicNak said:


> Actually STP, the Lysol spray might kill him too.  :teehee:  If you zap him with a direct spray.
> 
> 
> Regarding your neighbour, does your neighbour still ask you for dates?
> ...



Well I can't see it because it's hiding in this weird part of my register. I wouldn't be able to spray it up close anyway. My mom had one of those zapper tennis racket things. I would get one of those but I would probably zap myself.:teehee:

I moved out of the building that guy was in. I have had problems in this new building though. I am timid but friendly to people and they see that. I live in low income housing and the building is full of the mentally ill and new Canadians.  I had one guy from a different country ask me straight out to have sex with him and when my mouth dropped to the floor and I told him no he got politely mad and called me a lesbian(not that there's anything wrong with that). I'm like "Okayyyyy"  My neighbour across the hall was new to Canada and he is deaf. I was asked a similar question from him. I thought I misunderstood because he can't speak very clearly and he signs to fast so I got him to write it down. Yeah. I was not so wrong. I politely told him no and I will still talk with him if I see him. Different cultures and different ways of treating women is how I see it. I dunno. 

I wish I could "stop being so nice" lol I did once. This guy at 7-Eleven said some normal guy comments, they weren't bad. Little did buddy know I was off my meds and not into his comments. It was not a pretty sight. I completely feel stupid about that and have changed 7-Elevens. lol 

Maybe we should get those zappers for the guys instead?


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## Andy (Jul 11, 2009)

LOL Ok. Read the first line of my first post.

I was babbling about the moth thing. Then I switched to talking about rude canadians. lol 

I'm sorry. That was totally non sequitor! :blush:

---------- Post added at 06:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:55 PM ----------




NicNak said:


> My Psychiatrist once said to me interms of when I was feeling like people were watching me all the time with the anxiety, he said "No one cares what you are doing, they are all wrapped up in  their own lives"



My psychologist said this to me to.

I think it's great that you can take some people aside and talk with them about it. It's better to deal with it right away then let it fester. My family are generally ok and I have a couple friends that can be polite but since I rarely see them, I just ignore it.  It's the strangers that get to me. 
I should pull them aside! lol :kick2: Might be dangerous.

I have tried to think that. That people are in their own heads doing their own things. Then I think, I'm in my head but I can still be polite. It doesn't bother me if one person in my day is like that, it just seems to be the majority some days. 

Does my quick change from moth to manners make sense now?


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## ladylore (Jul 11, 2009)

I'm confused too. What are you asking advise on STP - phobia to moths or manners?


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## Andy (Jul 11, 2009)

OKAY. I see the problem! lol 

I just read over my post again. There was supposed to be the question of "Do any of you have crazy reactions to a phobia?" put in there and I was also going to ask since it is usually only a couple months out the year that they are around "Is it worth trying to get rid of this phobia, or should I stick with trying to work on the bigger stuff.

I'm sorry. I should have re-read that. Didn't mean to confuse everyone. Now I feel stupid.


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## ladylore (Jul 11, 2009)

No reason to feel stupid. 

For me - Moths no, bees and big spiders


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## Andy (Jul 12, 2009)

I Just couldn't figure out why it was so confusing. To make myself look even more daft, I also just clued in that I posted this in "members only" when I was aiming to put it in general chat. Feel free to move it where ever. 
Ugh. This is going to bug me for awhile now. :computer:

BTW: Moth T.O.D 8:43 pm.


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## David Baxter PhD (Jul 12, 2009)

R.I.P. Moth.

But he must have known it was just a matter of time. That's just basic mothematics.


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## NicNak (Jul 12, 2009)

No need to feel stupid STP.  If I were in my home with an object that I had a fear of, my posts would be a bit confusing too. Actually, I think even without that aspect, some of my posts are confusing :blush:

I have phobias of thunderstorms, and OCD traits that might be along the lines of phobia to germs or contamination.  Especially when having a meal at a restaurant.  I have a mini ritual I do, still. 

After I have placed my order at the restaurant, I "protect" my hands from touching anything.  This will include, handles, the table, the chair,  a menu, or any person.  

This made for a very stressful date once, where my date tried to hold my hands over the table while waiting for the meal to arrive  I kept on anticipating the meal and every few minutes, leaving to wash my hands.  Only to have him hold my hands again.   I did mention my anxiety disorder, but I think this part of it was so instilled in me that I didn't realize it was a problem until this happened.  He didn't know about my issues with my hands and food.  Needless to say,  I still didn't see him again. 

I posted an artical I found recently about Howie Mandel.  I related so much to the not touching hands part.

P.S.  Glad you are no longer having to co habitate with that rude Canadian Moth   How dare he visit when he knows he isn't invited


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## Andy (Jul 12, 2009)

David Baxter said:


> That's just basic mothematics.


lol:teehee:

Honestly I don't think the moth had anything to do with my clueless attempt at putting thought to screen. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better though. lol 

I love thunderstorms. When it rains I basically sit there and think "please thunder/lightning". lol That wouldn't be to fun for you I guess.

I bet that was so frustrating to have to keep getting up to wash your hands, and if you didn't know the guy to well yet it's hard to know when to talk about stuff like that. Well, if you didn't hear from him again then it was his loss. Who needs someone who isn't understanding of your situation anyway.:kick2:

I can relate to that a little bit because when I was in hospital for a long time I started to obsessively wash my hands because I smoked back then and that was all I did all day. I hate the smell of smoke so every smoke I had I would get up and go wash my hands. It basically turned into a routine. Then I noticed it drove me bonkers (more so) if I couldn't wash my hands. When I got out, I had more to do so didn't smoke as often,therefore no hand washing and the need just faded away. 
I am really anal about things being clean though. I worked in a hospital kitchen and they make you take a food safety course. I learned some nasty things and I have that in the back of my head all the time.

I have actually seen Howie talk about his OCD or germ phobia. I recently heard somewhere that he doesn't have OCD he has a germ phobia, but I have heard him say OCD so what I heard was probably not correct. 
Did you ever see that video of that Football player (sorry I forget his name) and Howie wanted fist bump him instead of shaking hands and he grabbed his hand anyway? I'm sure if you google it you can find it. Unreal.


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## NicNak (Jul 12, 2009)

They talked about that :badwords: Football player and his panel of :badwords: in this artical

Here is the link
http://forum.psychlinks.ca/attitudes-myths-stigma-and-raising-awareness/18302-howie-mandel.html

I went to Youtube and watched it.  As bad as it was that he did that to Howie Mandel in the first place, they made a jokes and laughed like idiots about it.  I was replused to say the least.

I think it is really great that Howie Mandel spoke about his OCD.  I also am hearing that Justin Timberlake has it as well, he apparently mentioned it in an interview but very briefly. 

I think the more people can put a face to the conditions we have, hopefully they will start to see the realities for how things are from our prospective. As well as with a bit of understanding from the "regular" folk, that we can function and do well for ourselves.


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