# Survivors guilt



## J PTSD (Jul 28, 2011)

I want to hear from people that have lost someone to suicide. 

Please be free to write all you want, I would appreciate it very much.

I think this will help me when I think about killing myself.

THANKS!!


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## rdw (Jul 28, 2011)

We lost a cousin and friend to suicide over 30 years ago. To this day we still feel guilt that we did not call that day as we had discussed. We thought "oh no problem we will see him on the weekend". That did not happen and our lives were forever changed. We were married 4 months later as scheduled and felt his absence deeply. He is greatly missed to this day and we still wonder what we could have done differently to help him.


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## forgetmenot (Jul 30, 2011)

All i can say is don't do it.
 You will be not only ending you life okay you will take the ones you leave behind with you.  
I have not nor will i ever be the same i will never forgive myself for my brothers suicide there is too much pain inside me still
  it has not lessened the sadness has only deepened   The blame the guilt the anger never leaves 
  You destroy many lives when you chose suicide  and i am not saying that to guilt anyone okay   as stated before we NEVER get over it.


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## Teala (Aug 3, 2011)

My brother checked out of the game eleven years ago.  Of course, I felt that as an intuitive, I should have known, should have seen it coming, should have done something.  I know now not to should all over myself because there was nothing that I could have done.  Because I’m a medium (I talk to dead people) he was able to tell me before the funeral, “If I’d known it was going to hurt so many people, I wouldn’t have done it.”   

His death marked the first of nine life changing events that occurred during a two year period and predicated my own spiral into clinical depression.  My therapist remarked that what I had experienced would have flattened most people.  I told her I was on my knees and my program wasn’t working any longer.  I was self-medicating the point where my son intervened and dragged me, kicking and screaming, to Rehab. I wanted to die and was pissed that God wouldn’t take me home, but my grown children were determined not to lose their mother at her own hand too.  One of my relatives told me that he had thoughts of suicide but the experience of my brother’s suicide prevented him from carrying out his intent.  Whew!

I’ve come a long way in my recovery from depression and now I don’t even recognize my old self.  Since I’ve acknowledged my gift as an intuitive and I can see into the world of Spirit, I know there really is no such thing as death.  It’s just a transition into the non-physical world.  We came from there, we will go back again.  The trick is to remember that we are creating our life with every thought, every word, and every deed.  Life doesn’t just happen to us, we create it, but I sure didn’t believe that growing up.  My belief was that **** happens and then you die.  End of story.

I have a much more expansive view of life but it took intensive reprogramming, and incredible scrutiny of myself to accept responsibility for creating my own life. When I learned how to take back my power and stand up for myself, my life changed dramatically.  My friends couldn’t believe my transformation in such a short period of time.  It wasn’t easy facing the darkness of my past, but that’s what had to be done in order for me to shine my light out into the world and now, I can say without a doubt, that life is indeed worth living and is very good.  Glad I hung in there.  Hope you do too.  You’re worth it.


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