# Alcohol: The Chemistry Of The Dark Side



## David Baxter PhD (Mar 5, 2005)

Alcohol: The Chemistry Of The Dark Side
_*Shifts in brain chemicals explain causes of alcoholism, relapses*_ 

New studies of the effects of alcohol on brain chemistry help to explain why alcoholics experience long-lasting feelings of tension and distress. They also provide a key to why some drinkers develop alcoholism in the first place, and why they tend to relapse, even after protracted abstinence. The studies were described here today _(note: this story is from 1999)_ at the national meeting of the American Chemical Society, the world's largest scientific society. 

George F. Koob, Ph.D., a scientist at The Scripps Research Institute, La Jolla, said animal studies indicate that heavy drinking depletes the brain's supplies of dopamine, gamma aminobutyric acid, opioid peptides and serotonin systems--chemicals that are responsible for our feelings of pleasure and well-being. At the same time, it promotes the release of stress chemicals, such as corticotropin releasing factor (CRF), that create tension and depression. In combination, the depletion of pleasure chemicals and the stimulation of stress chemicals creates a persisting chemical imbalance that leaves the alcoholic vulnerable to relapse, he said. 

Hoping to suppress the dark feelings aroused by CRF, alcoholics drink more-but the more they drink, the more CRF is produced. This cycle ultimately raises the "set point" for alcohol intake, or the amount it takes to make an alcoholic feel "normal," according to Koob. He says some data from animal studies suggest that CRF remains active as long as four weeks after someone stops drinking. 

At present, family history is the only indicator of vulnerability to alcoholism. Among individuals who have an alcoholic parent, men have a five-to-one chance, and women a two- or three-to-one chance of developing the disease, said Koob. His study could point the way toward the identification of specific chemical markers-as an example, perhaps low levels of dopamine and high levels of CRF that could better warn of danger ahead.


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## just mary (Mar 15, 2005)

Interesting, especially the reference to the chances of a man or woman becoming an alcoholic if they have a parent who is an alcoholic (ie. men have a 5 to 1 chance, while women have a 2 or 3 to 1 chance).  I was always under the impression that men had a higher probability of becoming alcoholics.  But when I really think about it, it makes sense.  A drunk woman is looked on a bit more unfavourably than a drunk man, which might cause a woman who likes to drink to keep her consumption private, which starts the lying and hiding a lot sooner.  And in the end, this might just hurry up the process from normal, slightly neurotic girl into a fullfledged alcoholic woman.  But I'm sure most of us know someone like this or might even be one themselves.  So, if I don't drink for four weeks, I should be okay, in a brain chemistry sort of way?


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## David Baxter PhD (Mar 15, 2005)

Remember that 4 week figure is from animal studies, not humans. Also, if you drink heavily over a prolonged period of time, some of the damage that occurs to areas of the brain (e.g., thalamus) and the liver may be irreversible.

It's a question of how much for how long...


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## just mary (Mar 27, 2005)

Hi.

Well, I'm drunk again and I did well for two whole days, nothing of an alcoholic nature.  I was so looking forward to saying how proud I was, that I was taking control, that I'm a "valiant human being", I "really " try.  What a f****ing joke.  I am the "complete loser", in the clearest sense.

Mary


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## HA (Mar 27, 2005)

Hi Mary,

I had a childhood friend that died from Cirrhosis of the liver at the age of 40. I had not seen her for years then about 5 yrs before she died I had called another childhood friend and we went to visit her because we heard how diffiuclt of a time she was having with drinking. She actually left to go to the bar after just visiting for 1/2 hr. We really felt there was nothing we could do and it was too hard for us to witness this. 

I think alcohol is one of the most destructive drugs when you include the emotional damage it does to families along with the physical of lives lost.

I'm not sure if you are saying that you have an alcohol addiction but if you do I hope you get some treatment and counselling for it.

Take care


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## just mary (Mar 28, 2005)

Hi,

I just wanted to apologize for my last message, completely inappropriate.  I'm not addicted to alcohol, I abuse it.  Thanks for responding HeartArt and I am getting help.


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## HA (Mar 28, 2005)

Hello Mary,

I'm so glad you are getting help. There are better ways than alcohol to deal with your life difficulties. I hope that you can find these soon.

Hugs


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## ThatLady (Mar 29, 2005)

It's good to know you're getting help, Mary. It's not an easy struggle, but it's a worthwhile one. Alcohol has no good to offer to anyone.


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## just mary (Mar 31, 2005)

Hello again,

I just finished reading a book called "Bulimia / Anorexia" by Marlene Boskind-White and William C. White.  The first half of the book discusses something called "bulimarexia", I seem to recall hearing something about this a few years ago.  Basically the authors describe a binge/purge type of behaviour with respect to food, different from anorexia and I wasn't sure how it differed from just plain bulimia.  I just found it interesting that I treat alcohol in much the same way that many of the women in the case studies treated food, their symptoms (eg. eating in isolation - I always drink alone, eating a lot, to the point of painfulness - that's how I drink, I can go days but when I do drink, I binge, the guilt and shame associated with the behaviour - I know it's bad for me and I'm embarrassed).  And before I could legally drink (I could count on one hand how many times I drank before the age of 18 and my parents were very strict) I did have odd habits with respect to food, i.e. binge eating and some laxative abuse.  Could I have just traded one bad habit for another.  At least with drinking you feel good for a few hours.

Thanks.


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

Hi,

Just having a bad night.  My husband, Ken, works night shifts and that's when I tend to drink.  I just feel so alone.  Ken can be pretty dependent on me and sometimes my only release is drinking.

Weird eh.


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

Sorry, but is there anyone out there??


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## David Baxter PhD (Apr 26, 2005)

I am now, Mary. It's 10.17 pm here (EDT) - just home from work about half an hour ago myself.



> I can go days but when I do drink, I binge, the guilt and shame associated with the behaviour - I know it's bad for me and I'm embarrassed


What does "binge" mean for you? What is different about the days when you DO drink compared to the days when you DON'T drink? And what is the embarrassment about? Just the fact that you drank at all? or is it about what you do when you're drinking?


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

thanks for replying.

"binge" generally menas 8 to 12 beers, I really like beer, and then I pass out.

I'm embarrased that I drink so much, I never leave the house, it's always by myself.


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

I drink when I'm lonely, Ken doesn't like it when I go out, he's not mean or anything, he just doesn't seem to be comfortable when I go out with friends,


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

sorry, I didn't finish that, whenever I go out or do something for fun, Ken always responds. "gee, I wish I had time for that".  He's a nice, considerate person, he's just had a hard life.


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

I just get tired sometimes.


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

I can't stop crying.


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## David Baxter PhD (Apr 26, 2005)

I can see why he might be envious that you can go out with friends while he has to work but why should you feel you need to stay home alone?

It seems to me you'd be a lot happier and a lot less likely to drink to excess if you could go out and do things with your friends... I don't see how the present situation helps you OR Ken, honestly.


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

I've tried, but whenever I go out I always feel guilty, that if I really loved him I would be at home, doing things for him.


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

Maybe I don't love him?


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## David Baxter PhD (Apr 26, 2005)

Maybe you just don't want to have to sit home by yourself every evening... I assume at work he has people he works with? How is it fair that you can't spend time with your friends?


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

Yeah, I know, but things have to be done around the house and when I'm at work, he's at home, doing things.

So, shouldn't I be doing the same?

And he doesn't have a lot of friends, very few, but I can make friends relatively easy, when I try, and I'm beginning to feel bad about that now, don't know why, but I just feel sad for Ken, like I need to help him, tell him that everything will be okay, I'll be there for him.

Do I sound stupid??


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## David Baxter PhD (Apr 26, 2005)

It doesn't take 24 hours a day to take care of a house and no one should be working 24/7 -- we all need time to restore ourselves, nourish our social selves.

He may prefer to spend his spare time at home away from other people -- maybe he's shy or finds being around people stressful. But that clearly isn't true for you...

Going out to have fun with your friends isn't betraying him, or not "being there for him"... but he doesn't need you to "be there for him" when he's not there, does he?

You don't sound stupid -- you sound sad and frustrated and I don't find it difficult to understand why. I think you are condemning yourself to loneliness and an unhealthy lifestyle because of a misguided sense of duty or loyalty.


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## just mary (Apr 26, 2005)

Thank-you so much for responding, I stopped crying for a few minutes, man, I sound so pathetic...I don't cry that often.

According to Ken, it does take 24 hours a day to care for a house, he's a very serious man, but every now and then, he can be so much fun, and I want to capture that.

I know I'm not betraying him when I go out with friends, but there is my head and my heart, and Ken means the best, you just have to understand him, he can be very manipulative, but  it's OBVIOUS, he doesn't hide it like most people, I know he's full of bs when he tells me how pretty I am, I know he has a motive, other people are so much more subtle.  Okay, I'm way off topic, but I've stopped crying and the beer is almost done.  Maybe I can make it to bed without hurting myself.


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## David Baxter PhD (Apr 27, 2005)

Sleep well, Mary. And tomorrow, think about making some changes -- you don't need to go out every night, but you don't need to stay in by yourself every night either.


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## just mary (Apr 27, 2005)

This is about Ken, he grew up with alcoholic parents.  My parents didn't drink that much, except for my Dad, and  that was only on social occasions, and occassionally after work.  I don't know what I'm trying to say, other than I feel like a loser and I wish I had a friend.  

As you can tell from my last e-mails, Ken doesn' like me having friends, not in an abusive way, he just feels left out, God, I'm such a loser.


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## ThatLady (Apr 27, 2005)

It's not right, in my opinion, for anybody to resent anybody else's having friends, hon. You may not look at it as abusive, but it is in a way. It's controlling. Nobody should have control over another person's life to the point where having friends is considered an act of betrayal.

Ken needs to deal with his problems with developing friendships. He needs to own those problems, you don't. You have to be responsible for yourself and your own happiness first. Otherwise, how can you be there for him...or for anybody? A drunken, crying person isn't really able to help anybody, including him/herself.

Take care of yourself first, Mary. If you're not the best you can be, you can't help bring others into their full potential.


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## just mary (Apr 27, 2005)

Thanks for the advice, sorry to ramble on last night, but I guess alcohol isn't known for bringing out the best in people.  I know what you're trying to say and I have been trying to do things a bit different, I guess I just slipped up last night...but it's not the end of the world, I can start again today.

Thanks again, I really do appreciate the help.


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## just mary (May 23, 2005)

So, okay, I drank too much again.  But I've been very good for several weeks.  I don't know what to say, other than I'm hurting about something, I'm just not sure what. I keep telling myself it's loneliness but I'm not sure.

Any insights?

Thanks.


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## David Baxter PhD (May 24, 2005)

Try this, Mary...

Start keeping a journal - it doesn't have to be anything elaborate to start - just a short note each day to keep track of:


did you think of drinking today at all?
if no, what was happening today? was it a good day or  bad day, happy or sad, lonely, or bored? calm or stressful? were you angry? hurt?
if yes, what was happening today? (all of the above)
if yes, did you act on the thought? or were you able to resist the urge? if you resisted, how did you do that? if you didn't resist, did you try to and not succeed?
The idea is to look for patterns in feelings that may be related to urges to drink and success or failure in resisting those urges...


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## just mary (May 24, 2005)

Hi,

Thanks for the information.  I have tried keeping a journal before and I didn't have too much success.  But I'll try it again. 

I was wondering however, does keeping a journal work for everyone?  I've never been much of a writer and I find it hard to do, I never seem to have the words or the patience.

Thanks again,


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## David Baxter PhD (May 24, 2005)

It doesn't need to be the great American novel or anything, Mary... in fact, you could set it up in tabuaar form, the way David Burns does it for his mood log (see Resources section). Or just make it in point form even:

Example:



> Good day today. Felt a bit bored at times but no stress. Thought of having a drink but vaccuumed the cat instead.


or...



> Bad day. Work was okay but I had a run-in with that man from finance. Felt a bit angry all afternoon. Got home. Felt sad. No one to talk to. Wanted a drink. Said "what the heck..." and had a couple...


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## just mary (May 24, 2005)

But we don't have a cat, could I vaccum the fish instead? LOL.

I'll give it a shot as long as it doesn't have to be the Great American novel, I was really worried there for a moment or two.

Thanks.


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## David Baxter PhD (May 24, 2005)

Not sure about the fish... maybe use a dustbuster instead? ;o)


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## ThatLady (May 25, 2005)

Everybody knows you've gotta comb fish!


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## Suezer (Aug 29, 2005)

*.*

Mary, I drink often also.  My husband recently passed away.  I have reduced my drinking alot, but I still go out in the evenings and drink with friends because it is better than being alone. When my husband first died I was drinking anywhere from 5-6 Korbel and diet cokes a night, and chasing those withshots of  100 proof peppermint scnapps. On my36th  birthday I passed out on my toilet (dont laugh)   I did a tea kettle and fell right on my head.  The next morning I awoke and started shaking/sweating and getting very dizzy.  I was scared and went to the hospital. I had a concusion and the Dr. was doing the same type of tests on me that he did on my husband before he passed away( he had a stroke ect)  I have tremendously cut back on my alcohol intake. I dont drink hard liquor anymore, anyway.  My point is that even a small change is a good one. And I would like you to try something. Next time you feel to say / post a negative thing about yourself, that is fine, however for each bad thing you say (example: I am a loser) I want you to think of one thing you truly like about yourself, and share it with us.  In time you will maybe see that if you change your thoughts , your feelings will follow .

Good luck and be safe.


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## just mary (Aug 30, 2005)

Thanks Suezer.  I'm sorry about your husband, that must have been quite a blow and I wish you all the best.  I appreciate your comments, they're very insightful and I will keep them in mind.  Sometimes I find it hard to think of myself in a positive way, I've made a lot of stupid choices - I've never been a victim - everything that has happened to me has been the result of choices I've made which leads me to conclude that I'm not a very a worthwhile person.  But I'll try to think of something positive and if I do, I'll let you know.

      "On my36th birthday I passed out on my toilet (dont laugh)"

I would never laugh, as I think know how you feel.  I've been going to AA for the past few months and it's been going alright.  I've had four slips in total but they say to "keep coming back", so I do.  I wanted to stop drinking because I would like to start a family.  I'm able to stop drinking while I'm pregnant but I'm worried about what I'll do once I'm not pregnant.  I wonder how long it will take before I start justifying a drink or two or three, etc.  

I had a very rough weekend. I spent it with three old high school friends.  One of these friends, D, doesn't like me very much and didn't want me along and she made sure I knew how she felt.  There were constant digs at my lack of children, my education, my marriage, my lawn, everything.  I didn't drink the first night because I didn't want to. I was worried I would get angry and say something I would regret or I would just cry all night.  And in the end, I didn't drink.  It was the next day (Saturday) that I slipped.  What's strange is that I felt good on Saturday, I thought the day had gone reasonably well and D had been kind of nice to me.  But when I came home I drank some vodka I had bought during the day. I didn't get rip roaring drunk but I got buzzed.  The following day (Sunday) I had a visit with my friends in the morning before they left the city, after which I went into a tailspin.  I had errands to do in the afternoon but I couldn't stop crying, I kept running the weekend over and over in my head and remembering all the negative things that were said.  I ended up buying some beer and getting buzzed again but not too bad and I still couldn't stop crying.  

Looking back I guess could have done things different, I could have focused on the positive stuff, the weekend wasn't all bad and we did have some fun. I also could have gone to an AA meeting but the thought never even entered my head.  I was just so upset that I couldn't see anything straight.  Maybe I just wanted to wallow in self-pity.  Anyway, Sunday was just a very bad day but I'm glad it's over and I'm starting to feel somewhat normal again. 

But thanks again for your input Suezer , take care and you be safe too.


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## ~EvaneScence~ (Aug 30, 2005)

Hi Mary,  I new to this site, but after reading some of your posts, I feel I have a lot in common with you. I'm trying to stop drinking too...and keep slipping.  Drinking has actually gotten me into alot of trouble since I turned 40 a year ago....because of drinking, I was arrested for the first time in my life...have to go to court...I'm on probation....have to see a psychiatrist...and am now being treated for anxiet and depression.  Then everyone thought I'd be all better on medication...but I still had my cravings for alcohol...and I binge drink....I want to stop...and know all the bad stuff that has happened to me this past year is my fault because...once I start drinking...I always want one more and can't seem to control it anymore...I have alot to lose if I don't change...my husband of 20 years and my 13 year old daughter....I just need to talk to people that are struggling with the same issues as me...thanks for listening...  ~Keea~


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## just mary (Aug 30, 2005)

Hi there,

I agree completely, it is good to talk to other people that understand.  

Have you tried AA?  I go and it does help.  I had to visit a few groups before I found one that I was comfortable in.  I find it supportive and it gives me hope.  I see people from all walks of life and they all have one thing in common, an inability to drink alcohol responsibly.  I never feel judged or ridiculed at meetings.  And I can be honest at meetings, I don't have to lie anymore, they've heard it all.  

I still have a long ways to go but I now know that it may be possible to change.  I still feel overwhelmed and guilty and angry and scared but they tell me that eventually I'll feel better.  That no matter what life throws at you, it's better to catch it sober than drunk.

Thank-you for listening and I wish you all the best.

Take care and be safe.


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## ~EvaneScence~ (Aug 31, 2005)

*thanks*

Hi ,

Thanks for writing back to me and listening.  I haven't tried AA, because I feel uncomfortable around people that I don't know. When I was getting treated for my anxiety/depression in the begginning of this year I was duel-diagnosed and they put me into a few meetings.  I was quiet and nervous, but heard many people that were like me.  ..but being at home now...I don't feel comfortable going anywhere to talk...because my family will still think I'm still ill. It was a big step for me to have to see a psychiatrist (because of my anxiety disorder).  My problem is that with being on probation, I'm not supposed to be drinking at all and I feel guilty.  My problem is that my husband wants things normal again, so when we go out to restaurants he thinks I'll be ok if I have 2 or 3 beers...and I am ok, but then it makes me want more....he doesn't understand at all....even after all that I've been through this year. Again, thanks for listening...I wish you the best also and you take care too.


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## just mary (Aug 31, 2005)

Hi again,



> I haven't tried AA, because I feel uncomfortable around people that I don't know.



One thing I like about the meetings is that I don't have to say anything, I can just listen if I want to.  I still feel anxious at the meetings but afterwards I feel a little bit better and a bit stronger.  It took me two weeks before I told anyone I was going to the meetings and it's only my husband that knows now.  I'm still worried about telling the rest of my family and friends.



> My problem is that my husband wants things normal again, so when we go out to restaurants he thinks I'll be ok if I have 2 or 3 beers...and I am ok, but then it makes me want more....he doesn't understand at all....even after all that I've been through this year.



That sounds difficult.  I wish I could offer you some suggestions other than just saying no but sometimes that's all you can do.  I've been told to say the serenity prayer over and over in my head until the feeling passes.  Sometimes it works.  Or you could try telling him that you want to save some money and you would just like water or pop.  How could he argue with that?   

In all seriousness though you have to take control and responsibility for yourself, you don't have to drink anything if you don't want to, you have every right to say no to alcohol.  Because as soon as you take that first drink, alcohol has the control or at least it does with me.  

Good luck and take care,


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## ~EvaneScence~ (Sep 4, 2005)

*still struggling*

Hi Mary,

I'm still struggling with my alcohol problems.  I've recently reached out to an AA online group, and it helps reading about others struggling with the same addiction.  I also am being treated for GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and depression with Lexapro.  It seems to make me feel happier, but then something triggers my craving to have  beer or wine....and it's especially hard with this holiday when family and friends are having cookouts, etc.  I also have an eating disorder I've been struggling with all my life...It really helps to chat with people that have common problems going on in their lives.  I don't feel so alone...Thanks for listening...


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