# Mirror Triggers in Eating Disorder Recovery



## David Baxter PhD (Apr 10, 2016)

*Triggers in Eating Disorder Recovery*
by Z Zoccolante, Surviving ED, HealthyPlace
April 6, 2016 

There are many triggers in eating disorder recovery. Two common  themes for those with eating disorders are a repulsion of fat and  negative or distorted body image.  Recovery includes adjusting our thoughts and feelings around these two,  in spite of eating disorder triggers. It’s important to note, however,  that no two people recover exactly the same way. Last week we talked  about weight gain during recovery and viewing ourselves in the mirror (_How to Deal with Weight Changes In Eating Disorder Recovery_).  One person told me that that they couldn’t look in the mirror because  it made them want to cry. This made my heart hurt because it’s an  honest, raw, and legitimate feeling. Many of us have experienced this  feeling, myself included, and it’s a source of deep sorrow. So, how do  we keep moving forward with triggers in eating disorder recovery?

*Acknowledge Your Feelings and Triggers in Eating Disorder Recovery*
 First, it’s vital to acknowledge that our feelings and triggers are legitimate and valid (_Mental Illness Validation: I Believe You_).  When we’ve committed to eating disorder recovery it doesn’t mean that  we’re going to like it, especially at first. There will be times when we  want to go back to our old patterns. There will be times when we miss  our eating-disordered body, despite the fact that it was unhealthy or  even destructive for us. We will miss our old life, even if it was  killing us. I know we all know what I mean.

*It’s Okay to Be Scared of Eating Disorder Recovery Triggers*
 Recovery is scary because it’s a whole new process. We’re giving up  the control that we once so desperately sought and tried to keep a  handle on. It’s okay to acknowledge that it sucks. It’s okay to be  honest and say that we’re terrified of our body becoming a balloon, or  of facing the emotional stuff we’ve been stuffing, starving, or throwing  up (_What The Mirror Shows Me in Eating Disorder Recovery_).

*It’s Okay to Mourn the Loss of the Eating Disorder*
It’s  okay to mourn the loss of the eating disorder; because, after all, it  did serve a purpose. It was the best way that, at that point in time, we  felt we could protect ourselves from the world. We’re not stupid. We  just chose something that would provide us comfort, safety, control, or  fill-in-the-blank we sought at our time of distress. Maybe we were  grasping at straws and the eating disorder was the one that our fingers  pulled.

 The eating disorder has been a close, intimate friend, and now we’re saying goodbye.  It’s okay to mourn the loss of a friend, and to remember the reason  we’re choosing to walk away. The relationship no longer serves us _(Eating Disorder Recovery: Getting Better and Losing Friends)_. If we continue, it will destroy us mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It will take us down, to the grave.

*It’s Okay to Handle Eating Disorder Triggers Your Way*
 Although we share a common pool of eating disordered criteria,  every person is unique. To the person who can’t look at their body in  the mirror without crying, maybe mirrors trigger you or don’t feel like  you have a safe space right now. That’s okay. Start your recovery where  you feel comfortable and begin to expand that comfort zone (_Body Image and Acceptance in Eating Disorder Recovery_).  Maybe for a while you can cover, or remove, all the full-length mirrors  in your house. Maybe your recovery breakthrough will be more focused on  how you feel in your body instead of coming to a contrived peace with  what you see in the mirror.


----------

