# Reasons for living



## Downer (Jul 7, 2005)

I'll make this quick. Been depressed for 3 years fed up with everything. Now I feel is the best time to do this. But if suicide isn't the answer then what is...? I have failed with home, school, exams, people, myself and life. So why continue in PAIN!


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## Daniel (Jul 7, 2005)

Some reasons for avoiding suicide that work for me:

1.  Everything is temporary.  Happy experiences are temporary, and so are the painful ones.  
2.  "Failure" is subjective and often mostly a social construct.  In the developing world, for example, just having enough to eat is a definition of success.  So-called "successful" countries like the U.S. have higher rates of suicide than poor, developing countries.  
 3. Everyone has some will-to-existence that gives meaning to life.  Almost everyone who attempts suicide is ambivalent about suicide, wanting peace not death.    
4. Some days are better than others. Most people with depression feel less depressed at times. 
5. Studies prove that relatives have more long-term grief from suicide than accidental and "natural" deaths.
6. There is always a risk of brain damage, including paralysis, with suicide attempts.  Over 19,000 Americans a year qualify for disability after being physically disabled in a suicide attempt.




> But if suicide isn't the answer then what is...?


In addition to therapy and meds, there are many positive distractions & hobbies like music, reading, the Internet, etc. that can be calming if not pleasurable.   Just staying distracted with some hobby or project and some music in the background can be a big help.


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## Downer (Jul 8, 2005)

Thank you for that.


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## Link (Aug 18, 2005)

When I was considering suicide, the thing that changed my mind was that two people promised me that they would miss me if I died. I guess all I really needed to hear was that I was having a positive effect on SOMEONE. Sometimes I feel like everyone would be happier with me gone (except for a few people, who I practically want to make miserable, but that's another issue, I think).


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## David Baxter PhD (Aug 18, 2005)

There is always at least one person who wiould miss you and who would grieve for you, even if at times it doesn't feel that way.

Most of us have no idea how many people are positively affected by us...


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## Mrs. King (Aug 18, 2005)

Daniel said:
			
		

> "Failure" is subjective and often mostly a social construct.



This is the absolute truth. Western society is about money. How much do you have, and can you prove it with countless possessions? I have nothing, except children! I was so desperate for my boyfriend to marry me, because I lived in a ghetto-type area, with six children, unmarried, toy-boy boyfriend, both unemployed. In Capitalist terms, my family and I were a worthless collection of low-grade stereotypes. I married my boyfriend so that I would gain 'respectable married woman' status in society. Poor choice!! I would have been better off learning to love my 'single' self.

It does not matter what little box society puts you in. Climb out of the box, and every other box they try to stuff you inside. So you 'failed' at school? So what? Does your heart have the capacity to love someone dearly? There are things about you that are of immense value. Society may put no value on them, if they are not marketable, but you should seek out and cherish the things that make you especially you. There will be people who will recognise these things in you, and people who need those things from you. Success and failure are not what the world thinks of us, but what we think of ourselves. Whose view is more important?


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