# Too hard



## Ashley-Kate (Aug 9, 2012)

I don't want to live anymore.  it sounds pathetic and stupid to say it like that yet it's true, i am tired of fighting the anorexia the depression the constant feeling that i am not good enough not thin enough not perfect enough.. I am sick of waking up in the morning and hating me.. I am tired and i feel lost nothing seems to make sense nothing seems to give me hope, i feel the world moving at the speed of light yet i am standing still..   i am only 24 and i am tired of living, My psychologist is on vacation for a month and the plans he made to assure my safety and for me to have someone during his absence back fired and i have no one.. i am simply exhausted.


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## forgetmenot (Aug 10, 2012)

*Re: too hard*

best laid plans hun always seem to get derailed   I hope hun you have a crisis line number or hospital emergency number to call   Your therapist will be back hun and you will have support again.   I am sorry you are struggling so  but know hun you have fought long and hard so you can continue to fight you have that in you.  Just take each hour hun and get through it.  Keep busy hun  keep your mind distracted somehow


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## Banned (Aug 10, 2012)

*Re: too hard*

Ashley please go to the hospital if you need to keep yourself safe.  They will monitor and stabilize you and likely provide you with some resources until your therapist returns.  You do not need to feel alone in this.


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## Retired (Aug 10, 2012)

Ashley,

Do you still have access to the Douglas Hospital where you could go to the Emergency for assistance?


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## forgetmenot (Aug 10, 2012)

Ashley please let us know how you are doing ok  Please reach out and get the help you need to stay safe ok  hugs


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## Ashley-Kate (Aug 13, 2012)

as for the douglas they dont take emergenciesin unless i live close and i am no longuer a patient there so they would probably refer me else where..  I am going to call the crisis center today because well things are not getting any better..


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## forgetmenot (Aug 13, 2012)

It is good you are phoning crisis line Ashley   but even if Douglas center refers you that would be a good thing right  a new team perhaps to help you hugs


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## Ashley-Kate (Aug 14, 2012)

i saw my doctor today and he has decided to see me more often during the next couple of weeks to replace somewhat y psychologisst and also because do to the anorexia i have had a weight loss that is worrysome to him so he will see me ever wee to keep that monitored


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## Retired (Aug 14, 2012)

That is good to hear, Ashley.  Keep us posted on your progress.


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## ladybug1966 (Aug 14, 2012)

Hi Ashley-Kate,

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles, but glad to hear that you have support until your normal psych. gets back in town.  It sounds like you are motivated to help take care of yourself even though things are tough which is a very difficult thing to do so :thumbsup to you! I'm new here and can relate a lot to some of your struggles, just keep pushing forward and keep going even when it feels like things aren't moving with you. Things will look up and if or when ya need help, there's always help around you somewhere.  Never give up, there is always someone, something, somewhere. 

Take care.


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