# Feb, You Say?



## phoebe22 (Feb 12, 2011)

It's plus-freakin'-one out there. How I s'posed to sleep in a warm room in Feb? (Can't sleep in a warm room ever, but that's beside the point.) Plus one in Feb is just plain crazy ... there oughtta be a law
:hissyfit:

At this rate it's a wonder my circadians got any rhythm left ay tall. 

:rtfm:


:teehee:


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## Andy (Feb 13, 2011)

lol It's definitely weird weather here too. I'm not complaining though, it could be much colder.


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## David Baxter PhD (Feb 13, 2011)

Currently -10 C in Ottawa.


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## Andy (Feb 13, 2011)

5 here, suppose to be 8 tomorrow.  Weird stuff


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## phoebe22 (Feb 13, 2011)

STP said:


> lol It's definitely weird weather here too. I'm not complaining though, it could be much colder.



I don't know where "here" is ... do you usually have colder winters?

When I first moved into this region (nearly 50 years ago ), temps for Feb ranged apprx -20 to -40. I don't miss the -40, and I realize that we're stuck with changes in climate so might as well deal with the reality, but plus temps in what used to be the coldest months (Jan/Feb) are just crazy. Not only do the milder temps do nothing for the arthritis (damp), but the footing is perilous because we end up with wall-to-wall ice for three months. Once upon a time that wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm suddenly a lot more breakable than I used to be. 

Oooooooooooh, I'm feeling cranky (and old) today! :lol:

:dramaqueen:

---------- Post added at 09:13 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:08 AM ----------




David Baxter said:


> Currently -10 C in Ottawa.


 
Oh now that's just mean! :lol:


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## Andy (Feb 13, 2011)

phoebe22 said:


> I don't know where "here" is ... do you usually have colder winters?


 AB, Right next door Yes we have very cold winters.


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## phoebe22 (Feb 13, 2011)

STP said:


> AB, Right next door Yes we have very cold winters.


 
Definitely! Used to hear tales of winter on the Prairies that made my blood run cold, even in summer 
:cold:


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## Andy (Feb 13, 2011)

lol Yeah it can get chilly but the last however many years, it seems to be getting warmer.


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## phoebe22 (Feb 13, 2011)

STP said:


> lol Yeah it can get chilly but the last however many years, it seems to be getting warmer.



Same here. I don't mind fewer extremes, but it's changing way too much and way too fast for my liking. Could do (for starters) with less damp!


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## Andy (Feb 13, 2011)

I agree. I actually miss the winters we use to have when I was little but they may have seemed cold with lots of snow because I was little. lol 
Every time I go west I come home sick because the dampness, chills you to the bone.


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## David Baxter PhD (Feb 13, 2011)

STP said:


> Every time I go west


 


You are west.


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## Andy (Feb 13, 2011)

lol Wester


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## phoebe22 (Feb 14, 2011)

STP said:


> I agree. I actually miss the winters we use to have when I was little but they may have seemed cold with lots of snow because I was little. lol
> Every time I go west I come home sick because the dampness, chills you to the bone.



In the days when I used to travel a bit, I'd always bring home a bug of some kind; I think the human body doesn't always adjust very well to environmental changes, especially on short-term exposure. I don't seem to pick up viruses any more (hyperimmunity) but oy, the damp, even in summer, makes the bones ache. Could be worse, but I object on principle 

I miss being "weatherproof". I think most kids are, and I wish it was something we didn't outgrow 

I miss those cold mornings when I'd go outside to feed the horses and the sky would be so clear it didn't seem real and a new fall of hip-deep snow was so light it fell away from my legs as I walked and ice crystals nearly made me blind as they danced ahead of me. I miss the ice hanging off my mare's whiskers, the clouds of steam puffing out of her nostrils as she nuzzled up in search of her morning treat ...

It makes me terribly sad to think my grandchildren may never know what it's like to be so cold you can't feel your face but are so caught up in the beauty you don't even notice ... or care.

Oh dear ... I'm in a soppy state today. Sorry about that. It was an emotional weekend, and I hate V-Day, so bad combo. Probably one of those days when I should watch a movie (anything except a "romantic comedy") or read a good Whodunnit and not drag people down with my glooms 
:vroom:

---------- Post added at 10:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 AM ----------




David Baxter said:


> You are west.


 
Nooooooooo ... the Prairies are the "West"; BC is the "Pacific Coast" and consists of the lower mainland (we in the north are beyond Hope ). 

Just watch the National Weather if you don't believe me :teehee:


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## Andy (Feb 15, 2011)

phoebe22 said:


> I miss those cold mornings when I'd go outside to feed the horses and the sky would be so clear it didn't seem real and a new fall of hip-deep snow was so light it fell away from my legs as I walked and ice crystals nearly made me blind as they danced ahead of me. I miss the ice hanging off my mare's whiskers, the clouds of steam puffing out of her nostrils as she nuzzled up in search of her morning treat ...
> 
> It makes me terribly sad to think my grandchildren may never know what it's like to be so cold you can't feel your face but are so caught up in the beauty you don't even notice ... or care.
> 
> Oh dear ... I'm in a soppy state today. Sorry about that. It was an emotional weekend, and I hate V-Day, so bad combo. Probably one of those days when I should watch a movie (anything except a "romantic comedy") or read a good Whodunnit and not drag people down with my glooms


You should be a writer, I have that all pictured in my head. Sounds (and looks) nice. 
Well your grandchildren will still get the cold just not the kind of cold we are use to, but to them it will be the coldest ever. lol I know what you mean though. I do love it.

No need to apologize. Sorry you had a rough weekend and V-day isn't a good holiday for you. I can take it or leave it. 
I hope you were able to pick out a good movie or book to escape into.


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## phoebe22 (Feb 19, 2011)

STP said:


> You should be a writer, I have that all pictured in my head. Sounds (and looks) nice.
> Well your grandchildren will still get the cold just not the kind of cold we are use to, but to them it will be the coldest ever. lol I know what you mean though. I do love it.
> 
> No need to apologize. Sorry you had a rough weekend and V-day isn't a good holiday for you. I can take it or leave it.
> I hope you were able to pick out a good movie or book to escape into.



thanks  i tend to wax poetic about some things; want to bring others into the experience, if that makes any sense. 

yes, i guess my grandkids will experience cold (they're certainly doing so today now that it's dropped to -22) but not the beauty of those long-ago winter days. now it's always so bleak.

i think i'd tolerate v-day a bit better if even once in my life someone had made some kind of small gesture. i'm not traditional, but one notices one's worthlessness more at such times. Christmas used to be difficult, and birthdays ... hm, least said.

oh, i shouldn't be trying to "talk" today; last few days especially i've been so depressed i can hardly breathe.


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## Andy (Feb 19, 2011)

phoebe22 said:


> thanks  i tend to wax poetic about some things; want to bring others into the experience, if that makes any sense.
> 
> yes, i guess my grandkids will experience cold (they're certainly doing so today now that it's dropped to -22) but not the beauty of those long-ago winter days. now it's always so bleak.
> 
> ...



Makes perfect sense, and you do it well. 

Well, I suppose those days are gone, but you can try to find some beauty in the new winter days, right? Not the same at all but there is always beauty out there in nature. I don't know I'm really not one to talk. lol 
We just came out of a bit of a cold spell from last night, and it's warmed up a lot and is suppose to continue too get nicer out. 

I can understand that, wanting to get some sort of gesture and the whole worthiness thing. Holidays can be pretty hard for people who don't have anyone around. :support:

I'm sorry your not feeling so great the last few days. Is there anything that brought this on or are you just feeling...blah?


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## phoebe22 (Feb 19, 2011)

STP said:


> I'm sorry your not feeling so great the last few days. Is there anything that brought this on or are you just feeling...blah?


 
just life. i can tolerate a lot, but eventually it catches up with me and takes me down. this week i had to turn down a small contract due to health stuff, then later the same day discovered that my clinician has been humouring me. 
:fool:
small stuff, big implications and consequences if i don't tread very carefully. at this point i don't care ... if they want "crazy" i can give 'em crazy no problem. all i have to do is let go; it's hard work to prevent the diconnections which i wouldn't have developed if Big Brother hadn't spent the past 20 years making my life so much more difficult than it need be.

yeah, i have PTSD; and they've made it *worse*. it didn't cause my physical illness, but because of the abuse i receive _due_ to my physical illness, the PTSD becomes harder to keep under control. they're forever putting the cart before the horse, which is lovely for them i'm sure but makes my life so difficult it hardly seems worth bothering.

wow ... that was quite a whinge, wasn't it? and i think this is the wrong forum to boot. i seem to be messing up a lot today ...

:sorry:


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## Andy (Feb 19, 2011)

No, no, no. you didn't mess anything up with that. I promise it's all good. 

Well I can definitely say I can relate on having the clinician humouring you. Very frustrating and a complete betrayal of trust IMO.

Don't be going all crazy lol that will just make things worse for you. Is there anyway you can look into getting someone else, a new clinician to look at things with fresh eyes? I imagine with PTSD, well with any illness really, the last thing you need is extra stress. 
What about this contract, are there more coming your way?

It sounds like your getting bombarded with too much at once. I don't blame you for feeling down.


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## phoebe22 (Feb 20, 2011)

STP said:


> No, no, no. you didn't mess anything up with that. I promise it's all good.
> 
> Well I can definitely say I can relate on having the clinician humouring you. Very frustrating and a complete betrayal of trust IMO.
> 
> ...



I'm just tired of fighting a losing battle. Not only do I already have a GP who thinks I'm imagining or making things up, but I've got half a dozen know-it-all types who, after talking to me for all of 45 minutes (or less), have managed to "psychologize" an illness (or more accurately, multiple conditions/illnesses) which had already been established, by a specialist, as very real. Now I get all these condescending platitudes about somatoform disorder and how the "pain is real" (because I perceive it as real). And the more I protest, the more I "prove" them "right". And heaven help me if I dare to get frustrated or (worse) angry; they promptly slap a "severe personality disorder" label on me. D'you know what happens if you arrive at an ER with the multiple stigma of somatoform + PD? You get scorned, scolded, and sent packing.

:hissyfit:

Well, I'm stuck now. I can't change clinicians and there'd be no point anyway; they're all as bad as each other ... the only "truth" is what my file says, *never* anything I say.

:fool:

So I'm thinking fine, if that's their game, I'll play it. If they refuse to listen, to conduct a few simple tests which would at least lend credence to what I've been saying lo these many long years ... to just *consider* the possibility that I may have a better idea than they of what's happening to the body I've lived in for nearly 60 years, then fine ... I'll play along with the headcase gig. If I can suck it up, maybe they'll leave me in peace.

:hide:

I have never denied I have problems, but what no one will even consider is that those problems were minor and under control until I'd been fighting a war on two fronts -- my physical problems + Big Brother in all his manifestations (gov't, drs, psychs) -- for nearly a decade. I dare any of them to lose everything they treasure almost literally overnight, kiss their hopes and dreams good-bye, and not be thrown for a loop. 



I need a battle plan: a way to keep MH (and dr) happy and still get my basic physical survival needs met. That should be a walk in the park for someone whose brain is limping along on 1/4 impulse power at best most days 



Oh ... the contract. It was presented as a bit of typing, and turned out to be a huge research project, which is way more than I can manage, especially when I've got an ear infection on top of everything else.

I'm so tired ...

:sob:

---------- Post added at 09:52 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:47 AM ----------

I lay awake all of last night with one very long, very huge and overwhelming anxiety attack over the prospect of having to see my dr at some point in the next couple of months.


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## Andy (Feb 20, 2011)

Can you not just go with the specialist and what he/she says? Are you counting on these other doctors for something? I hope that I am not prying to much, if so there is no need to answer. 

I know how frustrating it is to work with a handful of doctors etal. at the same time and it is very frustrating because it's like to many cooks in the kitchen, they all have their own opinions and in the end your still left going "huh?"  With you it sounds as though they just are not listening anymore. Why won't they do tests and what not or are they just going by what they think after speaking with you?

Your absolutely right about getting angry in front of a Psychiatrist, it usually means something being added to your "file" instead of actually listening and understanding why your angry. I agree with the ER too, seen it, treated like second class citizens, which only makes things worse.

None, of the other "bad" ones would be a bit better if you went in there and started over? Maybe you need fresh eyes on everything even if they aren't the best doctor. I wouldn't go as far as not saying anything phoebe, you still need to take care of your health and your right, you know your body better than anyone.

Going through all of that over a decade must have been/still is horrible and I have no doubt that the stress has made things worse for you. It would be nice if people remembered to put themselves in other peoples positions. I know I could do it a lot more myself.

Why do you have to keep your MH and Dr. "happy"? Are you looking at admission if your not compliant or something? Sorry if that was a dumb question...

Oh, I'm sorry about the contract. Maybe something else will come along soon. 

I can imagine how tiring all of this is for you. Do you have a therapist or psychologist? Counselor? Maybe if you had someone to talk with about all of this, I mean someone you could go and see, that might help let out some of the stress your carrying around?

Don't do that!  Don't get yourself all worked up if you aren't even close to having to see him. No more stress for you! 

I hope you get to feeling better, a bit better anyways.


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## suewatters1 (Feb 20, 2011)

Phoebe22 You say you a proof from a Specialist that you do have problems.  Do you have a copy of your diagnoses by that DR.  If you have a copy of his or her findings then make several copies and give one to each DR you have.
I ask for a copy of my reports then I make copies of my reports blood work and other stuff so if another DR wants to see it or have a copy of it I give it to him

Sue.


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## phoebe22 (Feb 20, 2011)

STP said:


> Can you not just go with the specialist and what he/she says?



Please bear with me; I'm going to have to respond in installments (I'm so tired and brainfoggy I'll start wandering around til I get lost otherwise 

Unfortunately, the specialist I saw has since retired from his pratice to go into advocacy and education (of GPs and similar health practitioners). He can't sell his practice because if he does, he won't be considered an "expert witness" in such instances as LTD claims. 

I have been hunting for a contact number or email address to let him know his dx has been overturned (is that ethical?) and to ask for advice or possibly some support, but unless I can find him, I'm on my own. I have asked friends throughout the province if they've found supportive, knowledgeable drs, and while some have said their drs are willing to treat their symptoms, it would seem BC has lost its only expert. 

There are several tests which would force them to accept the reality of my physical health issues, some of which can be conducted in a dr's examining room, others which would require a visit to the Lab or to the nearest town with an MRI machine, but my dr refuses to conduct/order those tests, sticking with the usual basic panel which anyone with any knowledge of my conditions knows won't reveal anything out of the ordinary. Of the few relevant tests a previous dr ordered, most showed abnormalities, but these have been dismissed/ignored and when I dare to bring them up, I get smacked down for my troubles.



---------- Post added at 11:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:49 AM ----------




suewatters1 said:


> Phoebe22 You say you a proof from a Specialist that you do have problems.  Do you have a copy of your diagnoses by that DR.  If you have a copy of his or her findings then make several copies and give one to each DR you have.
> I ask for a copy of my reports then I make copies of my reports blood work and other stuff so if another DR wants to see it or have a copy of it I give it to him
> 
> Sue.



Yes, I have copies of the report, as well as test results, and have given copies to every psych and medical person with whom I've dealt since. In fact, I have two reports: one from the specialist and one from a MT trained in the treatment of Fibromyalgia who "mapped" the extreme extent of FM-affected areas, but these (and the test results) have been written off and ignored.

Ha, if I wasn't crazy when I went in ...

:crazy:


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## suewatters1 (Feb 20, 2011)

Sorry you are having such a rough time.
I would be mad also if a DR told me that he didn't believe the Reports more or less saying those DRs are quack and that they don't know what they are talking about.  I would say to that DR maybe some other people are saying your reports are not true either.
In Ontario we have a site CPSO that you can search for a DR and his information.  If he is still a DR maybe he would still be on the list. https://www.cpsbc.ca/ https://www.cpsbc.ca/node/216 https://www.cpsbc.ca/node/211.  You can call them and ask them how you can contact this DR

Good Luck

Sue


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## phoebe22 (Feb 20, 2011)

suewatters1 said:


> In Ontario we have a site CPSO that you can search for a DR and his information.  If he is still a DR maybe he would still be on the list. https://www.cpsbc.ca/ https://www.cpsbc.ca/node/216 https://www.cpsbc.ca/node/211.  You can call them and ask them how you can contact this DR
> 
> Good Luck
> 
> Sue



Thanks for the links; if I can figure out how to navigate maybe I'll find him there.

What I do know is that he's still working, but has closed his practice. I've been googling and asking around, but everything I find it out of date. Whether he can or will do anything I won't know unless I can reach him.

So tired ...

:search:


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## suewatters1 (Feb 20, 2011)

Your welcome.


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## Andy (Feb 20, 2011)

phoebe22 said:


> Please bear with me; I'm going to have to respond in installments (I'm so tired and brainfoggy I'll start wandering around til I get lost otherwise
> 
> Unfortunately, the specialist I saw has since retired from his pratice to go into advocacy and education (of GPs and similar health practitioners). He can't sell his practice because if he does, he won't be considered an "expert witness" in such instances as LTD claims.
> 
> ...



I'm tired and brain foggy too so this could be interesting. lol 

That specialist sure sounds like the person you need to help you, especially if he is an expert and an advocate. Could you not phone the practice that he owns and see if they can come up with anything? You would think that they would have his number around there somewhere.

In my opinion I think each doctor is entitled to their professional opinion. I don't think it's right or wrong. I guess that's why people always say "get a second opinion". 

It is hard enough to find a doctor let alone someone who is an expert in a certain area. It's kind of hard to suggest anything as you live there and know what's what and all that you have already tried.

I don't understand why the one doctor won't do tests. Even if he/she did the blood work and physical exam, if he/she saw something from there then go from there and see what they can find. I find that rather concerning that they will not listen to you. 

No matter what illness they think you have you have the right to be heard and taken seriously. 

I am getting frustrated reading this because I can only imagine how dismissed you feel. 

If I weren't such a mouse and chicken (a mouken), I would be one vicious bulldog mental health advocate. Seriously. *Grrrrr*


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## phoebe22 (Feb 21, 2011)

I have decided that until I'm able to locate the specialist (no joy so far) I am going to avoid the topic of my phys problems (except arthritis) entirely. If asked directly, I can be honest and say (for example) "my back hurts". This would lead to them to ask why (ironic, since they never believe the *real* reason!), to which I could respond in some neutral way, even if simply "I don't know". I can't change their minds without the help of the specialist (or a miracle) so I am going to stop wasting my mental and emotional energy on words no one will take at face value.

My GP will usually treat symptoms (though that's getting difficult due to allergies) so I'll have to remember to stick to exactly that: symptoms.

It's that or disconnect for a very long time. I disconnected for a few hours last night, and when I "returned" found I'd done myself some damage. It hurts, but it's what led me to the conclusion that there's no point wasting my breath. It will also remind me ... for a while at least ... to keep my big yap shut. I'm an honest person who tends to give benefit of doubt, but despite so many decades of experience, I have yet to learn that many do not. 

STP, I owe you a reply (several, actually), and I apologize for being too worn out and frazzed at present. Soon, I hope (!)
:thankyou2:

SO tired ...


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## Andy (Feb 21, 2011)

I agree with being neutral if you have no solution right now, there is no sense in stressing yourself out and making yourself feel worse.

I'm sorry you hurt yourself last night and I wish you wouldn't do that. Is there not a better coping skill, a healthier one that can help get you through? I know it's easier said than done at the time.  Maybe write, your a good writer.

I don't think you should "keep your big yap shut". Know when to pick your battles right, but don't go silent. I do know how frustrating it is and it does a number on well on my sense of worth what little there is.  I am wondering if you have ever inquired about a social worker or community services worker? Let them be your voice if your not being heard. 

Oh phoebe lol you seriously don't owe me a reply or have to apologize for anything. You have no idea how much of a space cadet I am. Major brain fog, plus the intelligence, if there was any of that either, is slowly (quickly) declining.  :crazy:

I hope you can get some sleep and have a better night.


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## phoebe22 (Feb 21, 2011)

STP said:


> I'm sorry you hurt yourself last night and I wish you wouldn't do that.



Me too!  

Unfortunately it only happens when I disconnect (which is what I call my "DDNOS" because it can vary to fairly extreme degrees, though I've never developed full-blown DID) I think I understand why, which is a start, but it's a long road from "why" to knowing what to do about it. And, given that I can't trust anyone around here, it's up to me to figure it out.

But it does serve as a valuable cue; it tells me I need to look at a problem (or problems) from another angle. I've been doing really well lately, so it was a bit of a surprise. I guess I got so tangled up in all the anger and fear and frustration that I lost perspective.



> the intelligence, if there was any of that either, is slowly (quickly) declining.



If it's in decline, it must have been wayyy up the scale before. I won't give you the spiel about how you sound pretty smart to me (even though you do) because that's the kind of invalidating statement I get a lot which makes me mad enough to spit nails. Only *we* can know and understand the state of *our* intellect/cognition. 

Grrr ... so there! :lol:

:hello:


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## Andy (Feb 21, 2011)

Do you read any self-help type of stuff? Things you can do on your own that don't need all these other people that you don't trust? I don't know if that's something you could get into or not. 

There has to be some sort of agency that you can access for mental health purposes around your area? All of this can't be easy to do alone.

Thanks for the compliment phoebe. Not to many people think that about me so it's nice to know I don't sound completely moronic.


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## phoebe22 (Feb 22, 2011)

STP said:


> Do you read any self-help type of stuff? Things you can do on your own that don't need all these other people that you don't trust? I don't know if that's something you could get into or not.
> 
> There has to be some sort of agency that you can access for mental health purposes around your area? All of this can't be easy to do alone.
> 
> Thanks for the compliment phoebe. Not to many people think that about me so it's nice to know I don't sound completely moronic.


 
Well, I read informative stuff, but left self-help (e.g. Bradshaw) behind a long time ago, though I did do an abuse "workbook" once, which wasn't very helpful as it just woke up the dragons.

It's the local mental health agency that's driving me gaga   ... well, them and my dr. No, it's not easy to do alone, but until someone is prepared to see me for who I am instead of how they choose to label me, I'm basically my only option. I do get some practical help from mental health (they have some funds and services for ppl on DB) but I'm obviously going to have to change how I deal with them if I want to retain what's left of my marbles.

You dont' sound remotely moronic to me, and I double-dog-dast anyone to disagree with me 

:cheers:


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## Andy (Feb 22, 2011)

Would you be into any of those mental health services? Well what kind of services? Supportive services of any kind?

Do you think changing how you deal with the mental health agency will help with things? Or is this strictly a keeping your sanity type of thing?

lol Well thank you, I tend to disagree-doh!


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## phoebe22 (Feb 22, 2011)

hmmmmmmm ... found an interesting article:


> ?UNINTENDED? INTERNATIONAL SPREAD OF A FAMILY OF RETROVIRUSES?
> by Ron Logan
> 
> ME / Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (inflammation of brain and spinal cord) patients (referred to as Chronic fatigue syndrome by some) have taken out an advert in the 6 December 2010 edition of the Washington Post following a recent ban on their donating blood by the International red Cross and various government bodies. The ad states:
> ...



so according to my dr and the psychs, i should be able to donate?

:hippy:

---------- Post added at 01:57 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:43 PM ----------




STP said:


> Would you be into any of those mental health services? Well what kind of services? Supportive services of any kind?
> 
> Do you think changing how you deal with the mental health agency will help with things? Or is this strictly a keeping your sanity type of thing?
> 
> lol Well thank you, I tend to disagree-doh!



LOL! I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that last point 

I can't afford (literally!) to sever all connection to mental health because I'd lose the services (which include 2 hrs/week assistance in such things as errands and appointments + a few $ of what they call a "top up" income added to my DB and desperately needed). What I *can* do is not say anything regarding my physical health and, if asked, remain as neutral as possible. I really do think that's my only hope of retaining my sanity. They offer practical help ... can often open doors I can't ... which helps with the anxiety, so it's kind of a trade-off. 

But I AM absolutely dying to ask my dr:

1) would he accept a transfusion from me (O-neg = universal donor)
2) if he's so convinced it's just "a new form of depression", why won't he send me to be tested for that XMRV virus.

Then again, why risk :badwords: him off?


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## Andy (Feb 22, 2011)

That's interesting. Well they screen the blood, maybe you should go donate and they will call you if there is a problem and you can show your doctors!

Well I am glad you have that little help with the mental health. Maybe that is a good idea then, just stick with mental health, if you think that will help ease a lot of the stress with it. 

lol Maybe just ask the 2nd question. I mean if he just did the tests then that would be the end of it, you would get your answer and so would he. Unless it's a really expensive test and that is why he is holding off on it??? 

My dad is O neg too, I have an extra supply of blood all the time!


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