# Office Wisdom



## Daniel (Feb 25, 2010)

Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

		There may be no 'I' in team, but there's a 'ME' if you look hard enough.

		Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the  		wit and wisdom to do their job properly.

		Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility  		tomorrow.

		Show me a good loser and I'll show you a LOSER!

		Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of  		mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency - welcome to a day  		in the average office.

		When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by  		reducing it to the question, "How would Chuck Norris handle this?"

		If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a  		fork and imagine him in jail.

		If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you  		probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.

		If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will  		never guess that you're trying to get them fired.

		If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.

		You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the  		back.

		If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

		Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us  		who do.

		There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug  		colleague', either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. Go  		figure.
 
 
		Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition  		results in promotion to a job you can't do.

		Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and  		never quit are idiots.

		If you're going be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes - make it  		an hour and enjoy your breakfast.

		Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I  		didn't do it. 3. (To your Boss) I like your style.Set out to leave the  		first vapour trail in the blue-sky scenario.

		Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man - more for leaning on  		than illumination.

		A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or  		just half of someone else's?

		Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of applications  		in the garbage without reading them.


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## Daniel (Mar 7, 2010)

Today's Dilbert


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