# Depressed again



## boi (Feb 25, 2009)

I am depressed once again. I think I need a medication adjustment. I was asked if I wanted to get  higher dose and I refused. Now I kinda regret it. I've been obsessing over this thing that happened when I was young. I keep replaying it in my head trying to make sense of it and Im too scared to talk to my T about it. i think I am not in a good headspace right now thats why Im obsessing about it. maybe Ive said too much already


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## white page (Feb 25, 2009)

*Re: depressed again*

Hi Boi,
I am sorry that you are so low right now , very glad that you came here for support.


> I keep replaying it in my head trying to make sense of it and Im too scared to talk to my T about it. i think I am not in a good headspace right now thats why Im obsessing about it.



when are you seeing you T again ?  is it possible for you to advance the next appointment , to have a med adjustment as soon as possible , I know how difficult it is to open out about certain issues to your T , maybe you could say to him/her that there is an issue which is haunting you but you can't talk about it just yet , another option is to write it down and ask your T to read it .  don't forget that Ts are there to help you , and if you don't eventually say what is haunting you , then your T cannot help you with this issue . 
I undertsand that you may not quite be ready to just yet .  the most important thing right now is to  get your meds readjusted .

my very best wishes wp


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## Into The Light (Feb 25, 2009)

*Re: depressed again*

boi, i recently had another bout with depression for a few days and it was very painful and difficult for me. instead of regretting not taking the higher dose, why not call your doctor about it tomorrow and get the go ahead for the dose increase?

the thing about depression is it immobilizes us and we forget we have choices and options. we have control by being able to take action. it takes hard work unfortunately but the good news is is that it is possible, we just need to try and tell the depression to back off and to stop telling us it's all pointless. it's NOT all pointless, it just takes work to feel better again.

so, take control, talk to your doctor.

the other thing you are replaying and scared to talk about, why not start with a small step and tell your therapist there's something you want to talk about but that you're scared to, and he/she will likely talk to you about what's scary about it and work on that hurdle first.

you can do this. don't let this depression beat you down.


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## boi (Feb 25, 2009)

*Re: depressed again*



white page said:


> , I know how difficult it is to open out about certain issues to your T , maybe you could say to him/her that there is an issue which is haunting you but you can't talk about it just yet , another option is to write it down and ask your T to read it .



I already told my T there is something that has happened and my T was good and said when Im ready I will talk about it. maybe its time. i dont know

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Into The Light said:


> boi, i recently had another bout with depression for a few days and it was very painful and difficult for me.


i hope you are feeling better ITL. I think I have started to recognize my problem. When I am feeling like this I think it would be so good to do some drugs. I am trying to not feel what Im feeling. I am not going to do any drugs but the thought did occur to me. 
I will try and get an increase in meds instead. I need to learn how to deal with my feelings cause obviously I dont know.


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## Halo (Feb 25, 2009)

*Re: depressed again*



boi said:


> I think I have started to recognize my problem. When I am feeling like this I think it would be so good to do some drugs. I am trying to not feel what Im feeling. I am not going to do any drugs but the thought did occur to me. I will try and get an increase in meds instead. I need to learn how to deal with my feelings cause obviously I dont know.



Now this I can really relate to. Not wanting to feel the feelings and therefore using anything to try and make them go away. It is really difficult to fight the urge but doing the drugs only makes things worse and much more complicated as I am sure you know.  Try to do something to distract yourself if you can instead of feeling the feelings but yet not doing the drugs either.

And just because you are having lots of feelings and don't know how to process them doesn't mean that you still don't need a med increase.  I hope that you can get in contact with your doctor and get that increase approved.

Take care


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## ladylore (Feb 25, 2009)

It may be time to increase the dose of medication. Remember that medication taken as prescribed are not related to 'drugs'. 

I get it too that when your in so much pain you would want to do something about it, but as Halo has said it really isn't worth it in the long run.

I am also thinking that it may be time to start talking about things in therapy. Ensure that the two of you talk about boundaries around the trauma so you are coming out of the sessions safe. Ask about calling between sessions if needed. 

It's MHO that when anyone starts to talk about trauma there need to be regular weekly sessions to one, sufficiently deal with the session and provide proper closure, and 2, to deal with what has come up during the week and to make adjustments to the sessions.

Take care Boi.


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## boi (Feb 25, 2009)

thanks ladylore
i think I might need to start talking in therapy as well. thanks for the advice on the sessions. what is MHO?


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## ladylore (Feb 25, 2009)

My Humble Opinion.


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## Halo (Feb 25, 2009)

Or My Honest Opinion


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## ladylore (Feb 25, 2009)

Halo said:


> Or My Honest Opinion



That too.


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## arlene (Feb 26, 2009)

Here's my advice..Pray...pray with all your heart and writing a diary/ journal will also release the depression that you feel.


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## amastie (Feb 26, 2009)

Sending my support boi :support:
To me, talking to your therapist sounds like the very best idea and also talk to her/him about your meds.
Take very good care of yourself   :flowers:


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