# Feeling edgy



## sister-ray (Aug 3, 2006)

This week hasnt been good,, first of all all my support has gone, so have been anxious about that, about shopping on my own, got myself really upset Tuesday evening and wednesday morning, I was suppose to go out shopping and things on my own, I didnt feel comfortable, couldnt find the right clothes to wear or anything, just about as I was to venture out alone my phone rang and they had found me some help just for this week and next, I was so relieved, but have continued to feel anxious, was going to have a chill out day today, read, meditation etc but the people in the flat below have workmen in theres been some noise and smell of paint and things and I cant relax or concentrate on anything, have a headache too, just feeling a bit jittery about stuff, nothings gone right this week either, kettle broke, have sorted that out, iron broke cant afford to replace that, had to sort out a missing and damage parcel, which Ive done now, just wish I could switch of my brain and stop thinking about things, and wish I didnt live in a flat so close to people cant get any peace when I need it, just feeling sensitive just want to relax and chill out a bit.. TTE


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## Halo (Aug 3, 2006)

*Re: feeling edgy*

TTE I am sorry that you are struggling this week but one of the first things that I thought of was music with headphones. Maybe even some meditation tapes etc. that you might put on with your headphones thereby drowning out the sounds downstairs and hopefully relax your mind at the same time.

Just a thought?

Good luck with the rest of the week and take care.


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## ThatLady (Aug 3, 2006)

*Re: feeling edgy*

Ish. I hear you about people having work done nearby. There's some building going on on the lot behind my house and the noise really bothers me, at times. Turning the music up, as Nancy suggested, helps some, I've found.

It's really good news that you'll have some help for the next couple of weeks. That will give you a bit of a reprieve while you're feeling so low. Gotta agree with you...brains should come with an "off" switch.


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## sister-ray (Aug 3, 2006)

*Re: feeling edgy*

thanks Nancy, ive had my headphones on and it does help, but theres been some loud thudding noise which I can still hear, it goes through the building, its coming up to end of afternoon here so hopefully they will be packing up shortly and going home and I chill out this evening,, best wishes TTE


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## sister-ray (Aug 3, 2006)

*Re: feeling edgy*

Thanks ThatLady!! i think humans should have a remote control to turn their brain down a bit  Living in flats is a nightmare, you get no privacy, and alot of time no personal space, I long for the day I have my own house and own space, i love people but dont like living so close as you do in a flat,, it can be problematic when your feeling ill and want some peace and quiet. i was happy about the help too, but know that sooner or later I have to go out there and do it myself.


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## Halo (Aug 3, 2006)

*Re: feeling edgy*

TTE 

I also wanted to say that I am so happy for you that you have gotten some help for the next couple of weeks. I know that not having the help causes more anxiety and with the noise and all lately you probably don't need that right now.


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## ThatLady (Aug 3, 2006)

*Re: feeling edgy*

Yep. Sooner or later you are going to have to get out there and do it yourself. Having the help now is a good thing because it gives you a couple more weeks to work on being able to do so. Even though you feel anxious and frightened about getting out and doing, once you're able to do so I think you'll be so much more content. Heck, you would be able to get away from all that derned noise!

Yours is not an easy fight, TTE, but it's one that it will be so very rewarding to win. It's a great big wonderful world out there, and I'm looking forward to the day when you can walk out into it without fear.


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## sister-ray (Aug 3, 2006)

Theres so much I want to do out there, i look forward to the day I can do stuff without fear and anxiety, i get so mad with myself sometimes for feeling like I do, it would be so good to just go out there and do it, not think about it, I hate the way I am sometimes, there have been times when Ive been well, and I wish I could get them back.


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## Halo (Aug 3, 2006)

TTE I think that you will get back to those times when you can and are able to get out there and do things but right now you are not at that point. I know that it must be hard but just hold onto that memory of when you were able to go out and about and that may give you the strength to make it there again.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care


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## sister-ray (Aug 3, 2006)

thanks Nancy


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## Holly (Aug 3, 2006)

Hi through-these-eyes,
I hope you have peace in the next few days, having renovations going on is a distraction. It is good to read your have help coming, I wanted to wish you the best. 
This should make it a bit better, take care


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## sister-ray (Aug 4, 2006)

Thanks Holly


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## ThatLady (Aug 4, 2006)

through-these-eyes  said:
			
		

> Theres so much I want to do out there, i look forward to the day I can do stuff without fear and anxiety, i get so mad with myself sometimes for feeling like I do, it would be so good to just go out there and do it, not think about it, I hate the way I am sometimes, there have been times when Ive been well, and I wish I could get them back.



You'll get those things back, TTE. You can't help the way you're feeling, so getting mad at yourself doesn't make much sense. You could get mad at yourself if you were doing it on purpose, but you're not. You're working hard to overcome it, and I know you'll win the battle. Just keep striving.


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## foghlaim (Aug 4, 2006)

TTE: i agree totally with the others here, you will get back to those days.. you just need to have a bit more patience with yourself.

TL, has said what i ws going to type so won't repeat it... (really ) just ask yourself.. what does getting mad at yourself gonna accomplish..??? nothng only bring you down okay.

thinking of you 
nsa


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## sister-ray (Aug 4, 2006)

Thanks NSA and Thatlady, feeling a bit calmer today


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## ThatLady (Aug 4, 2006)

Glad to hear it, TTE.


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## Halo (Aug 5, 2006)

TTE, I am also glad that you are feeling a little calmer and hopefully now that the weekend has arrived you will finally get some peace and quiet from the noise that has been going on around you.

Take Care


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## sister-ray (Aug 5, 2006)

I went for a walk today, in the pouring rain, wanted to get out early whilst it was still quiet out there,, made good use of my new purple umbrella , feeling okay today compared with the rest of the week,, thanks Nancy and Thatlady


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## ThatLady (Aug 5, 2006)

I always find walking in the rain to be relaxing, as long as it's not a cold rain.


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## Holly (Aug 5, 2006)

Hi through-these-eyes,
I am glad your feeling better, the rain can be refreshing and relaxing. I enjoy walking in the rain at times also, I have been know to get soaked. 
It happened in Texas once, LOL and it was not a pretty site. I forgot the umbrella, :yikes:
Take care TTE, have a nice day,


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## sister-ray (Aug 5, 2006)

There have been occasions years ago when I have gone and sat outside in the rain and thunder, its so refreshing,  well my neighbours had the people in again and for four hours Ive had to put up with them slamming the front door every 10 mins,  and I mean really slamming it, I felt like going down and saying something but it would only cause trouble, all that slamming has made me jumpy , they have gone now so hopefully a peaceful evening for me


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## ^^Phoenix^^ (Aug 6, 2006)

Hi TTE

Just wanted to add my bit. I rent out rooms in my house to people and at the moment they are all 17!!! Needless to say, I get the slamming doors part, and the banging around and it gets me really jumpy and anxious too. I also feel like tearing them a new one, when it gets really bad, but your right - it'd probably do more harm than good.

Hang in there, hopefully, (unless they are getting paid by the hour ) they will have finished their work and will be outta there.

-robin


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## ThatLady (Aug 6, 2006)

Thou shalt slam one door in my home one time. That shall be thy limit. Should thee slam said door, or any other door in my home again, thou shall be seeking thy head 'neath the roses in the garden. :walk:


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## sister-ray (Aug 7, 2006)

Thanks Phoenix and Thatlady, yesterday was quiet and I feel better for it, hoping they dont come today, so far nothing, I know in flats you have to make noise to live, some noise is necessary but some like slamming doors isnt, sometimes I wish it would fall of its hinges that might make them think  Sometimes noise doesnt bother me, but when my anxiety level is high like this week, it does, i just need to rest and be peaceful.


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## sister-ray (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi,
 I have managed to get some support till the end of October, as well as getting the shopping I will be working with the lady to achieve greater independence, shes not a therapist but has experince of some therapies herself, so will be working with me,, I am very pleased about this  

TTE


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## ThatLady (Aug 9, 2006)

That sounds really great, TTE. Having someone to help will give you a few months to work on the coping mechanisms you need to be able to start venturing out on your own. I'm very pleased for you!


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## foghlaim (Aug 9, 2006)

that sounds great TTE.. I'm delighted for you!! let us know how you fare out with her... sure means a lot of pressure off your mind for a while... phew!!!   


great news!!! 
nsa


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## ^^Phoenix^^ (Aug 9, 2006)

I'm happy for you too, Its so good to hear when things are going well!


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## sister-ray (Aug 9, 2006)

Thanks! I will keep you posted, shes a lovely lady, very positive person, we got on on our first meeting so feel happy working with her.

Nsa, your so right about about taking the pressure of me, when they told me I just breathed a big sigh of relief


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## Halo (Aug 10, 2006)

through-these-eyes  said:
			
		

> I have managed to get some support till the end of October, as well as getting the shopping I will be working with the lady to achieve greater independence, shes not a therapist but has experince of some therapies herself, so will be working with me,, I am very pleased about this  TTE



TTE, I am so happy for you that you got help until the end of October and I am sure that this now takes some of the pressure off.

Soooooo Happy


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## sister-ray (Aug 23, 2006)

Thanks Nancy, sorry I took so long to reply not been around much,, I found out last week my blood pressure is quite high, due to all the worry I have had, im trying to calm down, don't want to have to go on any tablets for it.  My new helper is really nice, we get along great


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## Halo (Aug 23, 2006)

Sorry to  hear about the blood pressure being high but hopefully with some relaxing techniques and calming exercises it will come down in time.  

I am glad that you and your new helper get along so well...it must be a huge relief and one less stress.

Take care


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## sister-ray (Aug 23, 2006)

It is a huge relief, I have to do some exercises with her, like packing the shopping and going to the checkout on my own, shes a couple of checkouts  down, stuff like that, just to get me more independent but thats  okay shes nice to work with, and I want to work on these things


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## braveheart (Aug 23, 2006)

sounds like you're doing great work.  I know how hard some of these things can be...


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## sister-ray (Aug 23, 2006)

Thanks braveheart! One thing I dont like is packing shopping with a big queue behind you and people are rushing you, i just want to take my time, if one thing gets me panicked its that!


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## ThatLady (Aug 23, 2006)

through-these-eyes said:


> Thanks braveheart! One thing I dont like is packing shopping with a big queue behind you and people are rushing you, i just want to take my time, if one thing gets me panicked its that!



TTE, this is a common feeling. It's not one that is felt only by those who have social anxieties, or suffer from agoraphobia. Many people feel rushed when there are others behind them in a queue, or cars behind them on the road that appear to want to go faster than they are going.

The thing you've got to try to remember is that the person behind you is the one with the problem. You are not. If that person is in that much of a hurry, they should have left their home, or office, earlier ... or they should be shopping at a more convenient time for them. You have a right to do things at your own pace, and are not responsible for them not planning properly.


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## Halo (Aug 23, 2006)

I agree with TL

I am the same in the situation with cars going to fast behind me.  I tend to have a bit of road rage and just start yelling for them to pass me and get away from me.  I like to have the open road and not feel stuck.

Don't know if it relates but sort of I guess.


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## ThatLady (Aug 23, 2006)

It is definitely related, Nancy. You feel angry because you feel you're being rushed. Others may feel anxious, or guilty, or inadequate. If you can just remember that YOU don't have a problem, the person who's in such a blinking hurry has a problem, it helps to dissipate any and all of those feelings. Each of us has just as much right to be in this world, doing our thing, as any other. If the person behind me didn't plan well, that is NOT my problem, and I refuse to let it upset me in any way.:walk:


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## sister-ray (Aug 23, 2006)

I know your right thatlady, its just sometimes when your feeling panicked anyway it makes it worse!!!

Oh it does relate Nancy  I would love to have the shop to myself, no queues , no being bashed in the bum with trolleys  just straight round the shop, out the checkout and home  I understand exactly what you mean!!


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## Halo (Aug 23, 2006)

TL   I never thought of looking at it that way.  I can do anything I want at my own pace and it is their problem not mine if they are in that much of a hurry because they didn't leave early enough.

Good way to think about it.  I will remember that the next time I am in the car.


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## ThatLady (Aug 23, 2006)

It is difficult to get this kind of thinking imbedded in your head, but it can be done. It's a matter of positive self-talk, and continuous attention to your feelings. When you're feeling stressed because someone else has a problem, you know your thinking is distorted. That's the time to turn on the self-talk and let yourself know who is really at fault here. It ain't you!


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## sister-ray (Aug 23, 2006)

Thank you for the advice here TL, next time Im shopping Im going to try and remember what you said, and take it at my own pace, and not let them bother me.


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## ThatLady (Aug 23, 2006)

Wonderful, TTE and Nancy! It will take some practice, but you can perfect this technique. Just keep working on it, and keep trying. Once you have it developed, it just comes naturally.


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