# My sister has fallen into a mysterious depression



## ader (Feb 2, 2005)

I don't know what to do about any of it. I'll give you all some background.

My sister has been living in her own world for years. In her earlier teen years she had a biography online that was part truth and part lie. I think it was her method of expressing herself to a world she was too shy to confront, through the internet.

In her stories she would incorporate real experiences that she and the family had with events that never happened. She must have had self pity, because she would add things such as dad slapping or hitting us or her. My dad, in real life, never slapped us or hit us. He used to spank us with a paddle one or two times when we were little, but only when we were naughty.

This always disturbed me, the way she would regularly add in events that never happened. A trip to the mountains, a vacation, or an outing would sometimes have the events altered so that someone, whether it was me or dad or my mom or sister, would say or do something cruel and demeaning to her. And I’d be reading that and I’d be thinking, hey that didn’t happen, I was right there.

Since we don’t get out much, and since my sister is less social and more shy than me and my other sis, she has stayed indoors most of her life, away from others. She doesn’t have any friends, and she never really has. All her friends were online, and she lived in a fantasy world with them. To her, they were her world. She believes her calling is to minister to celebrities. 

However, I recently read another document she wrote up, and in it she indicated that only a celebrity would be good enough to marry her. 

I hardly know where to begin or how to express all that I know about this situation, please bare with me.

The sister in question (who has depression), is 17 years old. In the recent document that I read, she indicated that she believes she has telepathic abilities. She recently told my mom that she can hear voices, and that she believes it is Satan. However, let me give some more background…

Recently my sis ended an online relationship with a popular skateboarding celebrity named Ryan. That is all I know about him. She claims that she and he were boyfriend/girlfriend, and that they were communicating with each other. Recently he was supposed to be performing in my area at a skateboarding show, and my sis was begging my mom to let her go to it. She was going to let her go, but then my sis (lets call her R), spilled some of the beans. She showed the family the picture of Ryan, who she claimed was making some sort of gesture to show that he was acknowledging her in it, like sending her signals through the photo. R was infatuated with Ryan, who is two years younger than her (and in my opinion, an ugly, feminine-looking boy). The fact that she had such an infatuation a guy who is two years younger, and a celebrity, and an athlete, seems to indicate her lack of maturity. 

When I read the document, however, I became sure of her lack of maturity. In the document the voices in her heads were Ryan’s. Ryan was trying to lure her back, and she was rejecting him throughout the whole monologue. He would woo her, she would say no. Back and forth the banter would go, until at the end the telepathic link was beginning to fade and R became sad. She wrote the conclusion of the document today. Earlier, when she had finished writing it, she went to the bathroom for about 20 minutes, and when she came out her eyes were red. She has hardly spoken all day. She seems to take this silly nonsense very very seriously. And the fact that she genuinely believes that she has a telepathic link with Ryan, and that he is communicating with her, disturbs me more deeply than anything else she has written or done.

And that bad thing about all of this is that my parents have taken her side on this issue. What I mean is that they see things from her point of view; they don’t believe what I tell them about her. By the way, I am 20 years old, and she is 17. So that is insulting.

Another disturbing thing is that R is becoming more and more of a liar as time goes on. In her early teens she would lie some, and deceive a lot, but now she has turned it up many notches. 

Example: Recently R was banned from using the computer on a specific day. My mom and my other sister were leaving in the morning, and they reminded R that she wasn’t to use the computer. Well, when my mom and sister got back home two hours later, there was R sitting at the computer. When mom confronted her about it, she simply said that she forgot. She went unpunished.

And then this morning I noticed that R was using the computer at 7:35 AM, when no one else was downstairs. I thought, well she must be up to something. By the way, she is officially banned from using the internet now, for quite a long time. This is due to the fact that R and mom together agreed that using the internet was unhealthy for her. So, there she was on the computer, and I was spying on her from the stairway. Sure enough, she was using the internet, logging into her website (which she supposedly deleted). In her document, she stated that she had logged in to chat with Ryan again. 

When I told mom this morning that R had being using the internet, she said she would talk to R about it. But when I got home, there was R using the computer. I thought she would have been grounded from using the computer for a day (the usual punishment). 

However, when I questioned mom about it, she simply said that R had denied that she was using the internet, and was angry that I had said that to mom. Mom believes R over me. Very flattering, considering that I am older and far more mature than R. 

Anyway, this is a pattern that has occurred for years. R gets away with it because she is soft-spoken, humble, and calls mom “Ma’am.” She often says, “Yes Ma’am,” or “No Ma’am” to mom when addressing her. And since she is so polite and respectful, mom often believes her over me. Using this method of deception, she often gets away with stuff like this. Mom is more lenient with her. When I told mom that she was using preferential treatment, she got angry and told me to stop it.

I don’t know what to do. It seems that R’s situation is getting worse, and it seems that Mom is only making things worse by not dealing with the situation properly. She has called pastor, who has recommended that R throw away all her contemporary Christian CD’s (he believes these can be influences of Satan since they aren’t classical music—the only form that God approves by golly), and avoid the internet (which must certainly be filled with demonic influences). He says the voices in her head, as well as the depression, might be demons. 

This makes me fuming mad. His ignorance and stupidity will push her even deeper into the little mystical world of ignorance she is already in. 

What in the world is going on with her? What’s wrong with her? What is she going through? What needs to be done to get her out of this ignorance and depression?

She is suffering from occasional sore throat, regular depression, occasional headaches, occasional pains in her stomach, fatigue, sadness, and other things. In fact, she has lost over 10lb over the past 3 months. 

I am afraid that the situation may be worse than I thought.


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## Nutmeg (Feb 2, 2005)

It sounds pretty troubling all right. Your sister sounds like she is having some pretty big emotional and possibly psychiatric problems. It sounds like she needs professional help (therapy). In addition, your mom is choosing to minimize the situation, which means discarding and ignoring your opinions on it.

Is anyone willing to take R to a regular doctor? That is often the gateway to the doctor recommending a psychiatrist. Sometimes the patient will share some of their delusional ideas with the doctor, and the doctor picks up on that.

I'm really sorry and wish your mother would pay more attention to what's going on.

nutmeg


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## ThatLady (Feb 2, 2005)

It sounds like she definitely needs help, hon. You've done everything you can do to express your concern. It's up to your parents to recognize the problem exists and get help for R. It's really a shame you have to be put in this position. :-(


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## ader (Feb 2, 2005)

Do any of you know a psychiatry hotline or a psychology source of information where I can find out about her situation (and possibly talk to someone who knows a lot more than me about this)? I would like to read about other people who were like her, and how they got out of it. I'd also like to call a psychiatrist, maybe.

But  I am not R's mom, and I cannot interfere. If I could find out more about her condition,  I could talk to my mom about it and then she'd take me seriously and possibly take R in to therapy.


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## Nutmeg (Feb 2, 2005)

R is an adolescent and her problem may differ from problems adults have. No psychiatrist will diagnose her without having seen her. If a psychiatrist sees you, he/she could only talk about *your* feelings about your sister. 

One site that might be helpful is www.bpdcentral.com. I don't know if that is R's problem but it's common in adolescents.

nutmeg


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## ader (Feb 4, 2005)

*Update*

Well, I don't yet know the whole story; my mom is gonna fill me in tonite. But a few days ago, Mom read the document and she realized I had been telling the truth about R lying and getting online and stuff. 

So then, the day after that happened, R got online AGAIN! Mom actually caught her that time and was pretty upset and she let R have it. Then, when I came home yesterday, R was her usual self again. No more fatigue, no more moping. It was weird. So I was thinking, ok, what went on here. But I was too busy to ask about it. 

I am still not convinced, however, that the problems are solved. I'll come back tonite and post another message.


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