# :S



## Ashley-Kate (Oct 17, 2005)

I just recently found out by my sister who is still attending school while i am in a treatment programme that my old volley ball coach .. passed away or more like took his life. this hole week end i tried to act as if it did not happen and at the same time i anted to know for sure.. I don<t know how i fel about it it<s  a bit complicating because well .. t's a teacher the people that always tell us to talk about our probleme not to keep it in andhe could not even do the same.. i really adored that teacher but i find myself in a state of xtreme frustation.. I don't want to be mad at him but that's all i feel and i don't know why..???
yours trully 
ashley-kate


----------



## ThatLady (Oct 17, 2005)

Anger is a natural part of the grieving process, hon. It's perfectly normal for us to feel angry and betrayed when someone we have cared for leaves us, whether by a natural death or otherwise. Often, the feelings of anger are stronger when we feel the person died "before their time".

Don't question your feelings. Just allow them to be. Discuss them with your therapist, knowing that these feelings are what the vast majority of people experience when someone dies.

Hugs, hon. I'm sorry for your loss.


----------



## Eunoia (Oct 17, 2005)

hey hun! I am so sorry about your loss. As ThatLady said, it's always diffiuclt when someone dies and there's a variety of emotions that come w/ a death of someone you know or maybe someone you don;t even know. As "unnormal" as those feelings may seem, they are a "normal" part of trying to accept death. As many people have told me, death doesn't make sense. It's tragic that your old volleybal coach died and it's really sad that he comitted suicide. But there is nothing you or anyone else could have done or said and as much as you adored him I am sure he adored you girls on his team as well. there is no logical way to explain how you should be feeling or how you should not be feeling. if you feel mad, then that's what you're feeling. 

teachers, amongst other people, do tell you to reach out for help and talk about problems, but Ash they're humans too. No one is perfect and things happen and as much as he or anyone may have tried to reach out or figure things out, in no way does the final result (his death) mean that you should not talk about your feelings. I know what you mean though w/ being mad b/c not only did he mean a lot to you but he was in a position of someone who should have "things figured out". but things like suicide and death in general affect every age group, every race, both genders etc... no matter how much you may have things figured out at one point or believe in talking about your problems, that does not insure someone against death. 

I think it would help you a lot if you were to start talking about this w/ your therapist, just to be able to explore some of those feelings and to make sense of what you're feeling and why. it's very difficult go through this alone and talking to others will help you tremendously. remember him for what he meant to you in your life. not how his life ended (again, things I was told as well, and they're so true). hugs. sorry Ash!


----------

