# Confused about attraction and relationships



## RedPenguin (Aug 6, 2007)

You know, I've been having some weird things happening lately and I do not completely understand them.

See I have ADHD and OCD so basically, I'm hyper but concentrated. I like to have fun and experience new things, but I'm somewhat odd I guess because I don't like roller coasters but I would jump out of an airplane with a rope into a field like the NYPD Aviation Unit. 

It's like, weird because it's like the women always seem to love my style or act, but yet, it's always like guys are annoyed or could care less about me, like they never find me funny or amusing like women do.

In High School, I've always been used to women treating me like I was lower class and like none of them would ever go out with me, so I kinda now have a defense, where I will act like I don't want a girl, so that if she rejects me, I can be like, oh who cares, but it's like, now that's basically just turning them on more to be, it's weird.

It's like, in High School, girls acted so grossed  out when I would look them up and down, now I do it in a very similar way, and it's like, the women giggle and laugh, and sometimes even seem to act like they want me to look at them even more, it's like, wait a minute.

Also, I can't explain this part because no other guy that I know personally has this happen, when I am around women, sometimes, even if I try to ignore them and act like who cares, they just all out of the blue get hyper, and I mean like they all got shots of ADHD, or like they are all high or something.

I mean it's all completely out of the blue, like I will see the girl before and she will be dead or normal, then for no apparent reason, hyper as hell. I can't believe how often, I got girls becoming hyper as hell, giggling, laughing, like little school girls, and I mean women that are in college and older, that normally act completely normal I guess you can call it.

Also, what's weird is, also, I will try to look at the ladies, let them know I find them cute, try to get them to notice me, but it's like I'm ignored. Many times I will talk to a girl on MySpace and not get a reply, but that girl will stare at me or constantly watch me in person. I even will look at girls while I am walking trying to get a smile or something out of them, but it's like I never get anything, then if I am walking with a friend, they will always be like, those girls were looking at you, and that or them girls smiled at you, and I'm like what, I just looked at them, and they acted like they could care less about me. I even have people walking with me, asking, why are those women starring at us. 

So what's with me, it's like, I'm such a cool guy to women of any age, but it's like I'm annoying to guys, and it's like, when I try to communicate with women, it's like I'm ignored, but yet stared at and flirted with in person, often with those same girls. So why am I communication ignored but not physically ignored? The reason I ask all this is, I know of no other guy personally, that has this kinda stuff happen to him, so it kinda baffles me.


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## RedPenguin (Aug 9, 2007)

*Male Attraction, one guy gets ignored, one guy gets nothing, and another cashes out*

I always found this funny, because it always seems to happen.

See every now and then, there is nothing to do, while I am in public, so when I'm bored, and I see there is a pretty girl in the room, I just once in a while just take a look at the guys that go up to her, just to see how other guys do, just for the fun of it.

It's funny because it's like you generally seem to have three different types of guys, the super nice guys that tell the girl I would never think of sex with you, and the girl seems to say, you are sweet then ignore him, the guy who says, I want to take you in to my bed and stuff, and she seems to poke fun at him and give him ewww looks, then you seem to have those guys right in between, the ones that act nice and care how the girl feels, but you know, if they had the chance, they would take 8 hours+ with the girl in bed.

I have to laugh, because I'm just amazed at how guys are treated, many times, they seem to get treated the same with all girls. It seems like most guys, get normal attention from the girls, like sometimes the girl smiles at him or she doesn't.

But what I'm curious is, what's in that hard to find guy. I mean, that other guy you see, who isn't insanely social but isn't 100% non-social, and he will look at the girl, like damn you are cute, but then go on to do his own business. It's funny, because many times, it's as if the girls, will literally throw their bodies at this guy, like they will actually try to make him look and get him to notice them and they will seem to get so mad if he ignores them.

My question is, what's so attractive or so great in the eyes of woman, of this last guy, that even though he somewhat ignores them, they just can't seem to ignore them, and if he ignores them, they try harder to get him to notice them, and like I said, the so often seem to throw themselves at him, as to say, "Hey dude, I want you to want me in bed" and "Oh come on, you know you want this and why are you not drolling at my body." LoL, it sounds funny but it seems to be so true. I mean this guy can even look at a girl up and down, and actually stare a girls personal areas like her breasts and behind and she never gets mad, she starts to laugh and giggle, and enjoys it, when normally, she would smack the s*** out of other guys. 

I'm just curious, how some guys can just get away with so much and it's like the girls love it, when it's stuff you are normally told not to do because it is offensive, but yet, it's like these women want the guy to look at their no-look  areas. It's just so funny, LoL.

Also, I must admit, I seem to have this whatever, this is, often, LoL.

I'm single and I never seem to find the right girl, yet, it's so weird.

I can go near a bunch of guys and not a single one maybe will notice me or care that I am around, yet many times when I am around girls, many either stare at me, watch me constantly, or get hyper as hell. LoL.

The same thing always happens to me, I can walk somewhere with my two friends, one who is not that bad looking, not that I am into guys, and the other who i don't think is bad looking but he acts like he is worse looking, like his glasses bent and stuff, LoL. It's always like, my second friend will always get women ignoring him and my other will not let girls alone, always talking to them, to the point he annoys them and gets himself in trouble.

But the odd part is, often I don't even say anything to the girls, since I don't have anything to say or talk about, but I defiantly find them cute, so I look at them up and down, looking at every curve, thinking damn, and I swear the girls instantly get hyper and sometimes, it's funny, it's as if they start to tease me, and want to show me more or something.

I don't know what I do, but it's like, I get looked at by women of all ages, from like middle school ages all the way to senior citizens, it's like I'm just watched all the time, yet guys never seem to watch me nor care that I am even around, LoL.

I was always told to never stare at a girls breasts or behind, but when I am looking at many girls, not in any dirty way, but cause I'm like wow, you look great, for whatever reason, it's like the girls act like they want me to look, and they tend to get happy and smile and giggle. Many times, the girls even seen me plain as day, looking at them all over, and they always just seem to act like they love it. Yet if either of my two friends do the same thing, they get funny looks, like wtf are you doing? Who do you think you are?

What do I have, that makes me so attention getting and make me break many of the "rules" where you are supposed to get in trouble with girls for looking at personal areas, and they seem to want me or like it when I look. LoL.

I mean, I have the weirdest stuff happen to me, I can't believe how many times, a girl will literally be sitting with her boyfriend, and I will be sitting somewhere else in the room, not even paying attention to them, and the girl will constantly watch me, and play with her hair and really watch me when their boyfriend leaves for a minute, as to get my attention, hey what's up, then act like they never looked at me, once their boyfriend comes back. This has happened many times, with different girls. So I don't think it's any girl in particular. What's funny is that the boyfriend never seems to notice or even care, it's like he's obvious, and doesn't see anything going on, LoL.

What do I have that makes me literally watched as if I was some kind of movie star? I mean like every other guy I know, is just normally ignored and isn't starred at by every girl they pass, but for some reason, it's like I turned into some kind of movie star. I also find it weird, because in High School, girls never really looked at me or cared, I was just a normal guy in High School. Also, when I am walking with someone, it's always weird, because I will try to look at a cute girl, and get a smile from her, and I normally don't seem to get it, so I just pass on, and say oh well, then someone walking with me, a little behind me, will always be like, that girl smiled at you, and I'm like, what the, why didn't she smile then when I looked at her, it's like for whatever reason, it always happens after I look away from them. LoL.

I know this sounds unbelievable or like made up stuff, but everything I'm saying is true and stuff that I really experience. What's hairious though is that, even though I seem to have girls smile at me, flirt with me, and just enjoy me all the time, every time I try to talk to a girl, they act like they don't like me or could care less about me, and on MySpace, I am notoriously ignored. But yet, I can see that same girl in person and she will smile and act nervous as hell, then I try to talk to her, and she's like, who are you? LoL.

How can a guy, be watched by so many girls, even by girls, literally sitting next to their boyfriends, but then when they guy tries to talk to a girl, it's like he's ignored, and can't get her to talk, then she will act completely nervous around him, even though he's not anyone who will hurt anyway. LoL.

I mean I got weird stuff going on or something, HeHe.

Man, I didn't think this merged double post would be this big, but oh well, LoL.


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## Peanut (Aug 9, 2007)

*Re: Male Attraction, one guy gets ignored, one guy gets nothing, and another cashes o*

I think (judging from what my friends say about guys) that girls do like different types of guys.  With that being said, maybe you put out an aire of confidence and some girls find that attractive.  Just guessing here though....


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## RedPenguin (Aug 10, 2007)

*Re: Male Attraction, one guy gets ignored, one guy gets nothing, and another cashes o*

Also, is it possible for a guy, to make women only want him sexually and not care about a relationship?

I've had some weird moments, lately, and it's almost as if women are just starring at my man part, to put it nicely.

Ok, it really started getting weird in College, I had one girl, even though she had a bf, look at me every single day, but wouldn't really talk when I tried to talk to her.

Then I had one girl in the student lounge, just stare at me, and even when I tried to smile, she kept starring, I was like, ok......

Then a really weird time I had was when I was in a mall in a neighboring county, I noticed a girl, just starring, I figured, I'm seeing things, because it looked like she was just constantly starring at my man part, and I always was under the impression that women don't do these things, that more of a man thing to stare like that, so I moved a little, figuring she's probably staring at something near me, but her eyes moved with me, and even though I looked at her eyes, it was like she kept looking below my stomach the whole time.

Then, what really got me confused, was there was this Christian girl, I liked, and she was Christian to the core, and was proud of it, but twice in class, it was like, she starred at me, and was zoned out, and it appeared she too was starring at my area, and I figured, I'm going insane, if girls normally don't do that, a Christian girl certainly wouldn't do that, they don't believe in premartial sex, so I'm going nuts, then again, I feel like someone is watching me, and she does the same thing, stares at me but not my face.

Even when I walk past girls in the mall, it's like I don't feel my face is being looked at, I'm always seeing girls look down.

What's going on? I mean, I've never seen girls, so zoned out, I mean, I had at least 3-4 times, a girl, that will look at me, and they appear to be zoned out, literally, and when I try to look at them, I smile, yet it's like they are completely zoned out. 

How can a guy, literally have women stare at him and zone out, like they are in la-la land, and unless I'm going completely insane, I swear, I've had girls literally stare at my man part.

Do women just like to zone out or something? LoL. And if they do or don't, what would make me such a good thing to zone out to? I can't believe how many women, I've seen just stare at me, like I'm just stolen something, but yet, when I try to smile at them, since it seems so weird, it's like they aren't there. I've tried to explain this to some of my friends and they can't figure it out either and every time I walk with someone, they ask me, why on Earth are so many people starring at us.

Maybe the way I walk around has something to do with it. I try to give all women the same amount of attention, I mean, I don't try to look at one girl and ignore all the other women, and I usually give what I call the look down, like I give girls where I look at everything, like damn you are fine, then usually look away, and just ignore them or at least don't think too much about it after.

What's going on, no one else I know, ever has so many people staring, especially women anyway. I know it's not all in my head, because numerous people walking with me, always ask, why are so many people starring at us? I mean, I'm not weird or anything, that I know of, LoL. At least no one ever said I was and I dress fairly normally I think. LoL.


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## Daniel (Aug 10, 2007)

*Re: Male Attraction, one guy gets ignored, one guy gets nothing, and another cashes o*



> Even when I walk past girls in the mall, it's like I don't feel my face is being looked at, I'm always seeing girls look down



Well, one unflattering explanation is that since they are walking past you, they have to see where you are so they don't bump into you, potentially causing a head injury.  Since it's often considered impolite to stare at people for more than a few seconds, they may be looking below your face to avoid the appearance of staring.   Similarly, they may be looking near the ground, then moving their gaze up to avoid a collision.


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## Mari (Aug 10, 2007)

*Re: Male Attraction, one guy gets ignored, one guy gets nothing, and another cashes o*

H! I should be leaving but I will just add a quick post to Daniel's. I was with my neice at the mall and the young men passing by were contstantly staring at her - she is very pretty. One young man kept looking even after he had passed us by and he walked right into a pole and almost knocked himself out!  Mari


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## RedPenguin (Aug 10, 2007)

*Re: Male Attraction, one guy gets ignored, one guy gets nothing, and another cashes o*

HeHe, but then what's with all the girls, I had that literally stare at me, mostly in class, like they are out of it?

I had one literally stare at me for minutes on end for day after day, I tried to smile, but she appeared out of it.

Then I had another girl constantly look over at me, again I tried to smile yet she acted like nothing was up.

Other guys I talked to, never have girls stare at them like I do, so why do I get girls, like I said, that stare at me like I'm someone famous or something LoL?


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## Daniel (Aug 10, 2007)

*Re: Male Attraction, one guy gets ignored, one guy gets nothing, and another cashes o*



> Then I had another girl constantly look over at me, again I tried to smile yet she acted like nothing was up.



Yeah, it's possible she is trying to play it cool, i.e. trying to seem disinterested while having feelings to the contrary.
In such a situation, the only way to get a real clue what's going on would be to talk to her.


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## RedPenguin (Sep 10, 2007)

*I know I'm getting female attention but does it mean anything?*

See, basically, I am somewhat of a shy and nervous type of guy, but at the same time, I have a fair amount of confidence.

I get plenty of female attention, many of them following the "signs" they claim are good.

Basically, when I walk into a store or in my college, I tend to get the same thing, I seem to be the focus of attention. I'm usually full of energy and like to joke. Funny thing about my jokes is that women seem to find me funnier then men do, even in my own family.

But basically, I know, I'm not just imagining the attraction, because many times when someone would walk with me, they would always be like, "Why is (this/that) starring at us?", and they will always be like, "That girl smiled at you", what's funny is that many times, I will look at a girl, and she will not do anything, so I'm like, ehhh, whatever, then my friends tell me, when I look away, then they smile. But then some girls, I just look at them, and they pretty much instantly smile.

See, when I'm around women, it's funny because they usually act according to the so called interest-signs. Many, look at me a lot, some stare for like minutes on end, to where everyone in the room notices, they tend to play with stuff constantly, and just flat out act nervous. 

But, what I found out, is that all this attention, that I've been getting from women, ends up being women who are already taken. But not many girls, I meet my age seem to be single.

Now I was talking on two other forums, and one said that I'm probably just like a "toy" to these women and their attention doesn't really mean anything, and the other was like, don't worry about it. What makes it somewhat hard is the fact that, ok, I seem to be getting plenty of attention, yet, I don't seem to get any luck with getting a girlfriend, because all the girls between 19-25 always seem to already have a bf. I literally went for 7-8 girls in a row, that all had bfs. LoL.

See, at first, I can think I'm a "play-toy" at first, but the one day, I had something, that seemed more concrete. I was outside my college, and I just looked at a cute girl outside, not really thinking much about it, so I went inside, and she came in a little later, and just randomly introduced herself to me, and told me her major and was insanely friendly to me, and she almost blushed, I think, when I said, it makes sense that her name is Alicia, a pretty name for a pretty girl. This just shocked me, because I'm not used to having a cute girl I just looked at, just randomly coming up to me and introducing herself. I thought at first, maybe she was just friendly, but even though there were other people in the room, it was like, she talked to no one else but me. I thought at first she just needed help with the computer or something, but that wasn't it.

So I'm just curious what you think? I mean, how does one know, if he's getting attention because he's attractive or he's just getting attention because he's just a "play-toy" for women?

See the reason, I ask these questions, because, some people, hear this and act like, dude, you're a ladies man, then others say, you just get attention because you are harmless, just like how people give attention to a child. Some even said, because I don't have and didn't have any girlfriends basically, that this attention, is just all meaning of nothing, and that's it's just the ladies having fun.


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## Into The Light (Sep 11, 2007)

*Re: I know I'm getting female attention but does it mean anything?*

so did you ask alicia out?


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## RedPenguin (Sep 11, 2007)

*Re: I know I'm getting female attention but does it mean anything?*

Well, I feel silly, because I was so wrapped up and amazed, that I didn't ask her, but I expect to the next time I see her.

But, there is another girl, I liked before, who had a bf before, and appeared to like me, because I told her she was cute, and then she starred at me every day in class afterwards, and now she finally is single again, and she's having some problems with math, so I talked to her online, since we are friends online, that, we can get together, and I help her with her math work, since I pretty much understood the math, and we have/had the same teacher and stuff.

I'm waiting for her reply to find out, what's happenin. She at first didn't reply to my messages online, when she had a bf, but once she became single, she added me as a friend, and started to reply to my messages, so it looks good, so far.

.


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## RedPenguin (Sep 11, 2007)

*Is this girl attracted or is she just playing some games?*

I met a girl in my one college class a while back, in my one math class.

Now, the minute I saw her, I was like, woah, then I saw that she was a country type girl, who loved animals, so I was like, man I wouldn't mind giving her a try.

So, when my teacher had a getting to know you thing online, I told her she was cute, and at first it seemed like she liked it, because she starred at me in the class, sometimes, for 30 seconds or longer at a time. She ended up doing this for like 10-15 more class periods. She would just put her chin in her palm, and just constantly stare at me, sometimes like a minute long at times. I eventually found out she had a bf though, and I just laid back, and was like, oh well. I also tried talking to her on MySpace after class was over, just as a friend, but she never replied back, so I was like, ok whatever.

Then, eventually, I noticed she was single again, so I figured, heck might as well try again, this time, she actually did reply to my messages, and even though I just asked simple questions, like, whatever happened to you, cause she disappeared right near the end of class. She replied very friendly and usually answered every question, and didn't seem to mind telling me personal information about her and college, and that she had issues with the math.

Then I figured, well she's single now, so I might as well, let her know that I like her, so I sent her a message about, how I think she is really cute, and I like everything about her, but the funny thing was she didn't reply to this one, for some reason.

So I figured, well I don't get to see her in person really anymore, but she said she still goes to the college, so I figured, well, since she has problems with the math and she's retaking the class, and I basically understood all the math, I figured, maybe we can meet up at one of the campuses, and we get together, and I help her on her math. I'm still waiting for her to read the message and reply.

But, I know no one can tell me for sure, but, does anyone think it looks good or bad? I'm a little confused, because at first, she replied to my messages all the time, then I told her how I find her cute and I like her, she didn't reply.

Do some girls just like to play games, when they like someone? Cause it's like, sometimes I get replies right away, then it's like nothing for a while.

Also, was it probably because she had a boyfriend, that she didn't reply to my messages to begin with, then because she became single, started to reply me? Because like I said, she would never reply me, when she had a boyfriend, yet she would stare at me, for like 15 classes, like I was the only thing in the room. And I know it wasn't all in my head, because no one can mistake someone starring like that, and not think they were staring. I think even the teacher noticed, because after, she started doing that, the funny thing I noticed was, that when he would call one of us to answer a question, he would immediately go to the other next.

The reason, I really ask about the starring, was because like I said, was very unusual. I mean, I've had girls start at me before, for like 30 seconds or more, but never like she did it. She would always but her chin in her palm, and basically zone out to me. I looked at her a few times, when she did this, thinking she might smile, but she just always acted zoned out. I even thought, if I "caught" her, thinking maybe I don't realize she's starring at me, she might get nervous and look away, but no, she would just keep on with her looking and not crack a smile.

Even though she didn't smile much, I did nothing something with her. I noticed, when she saw me looking at her talking to another guy, I noticed she couldn't help but smile over and over. I doubt it was because of the guy she wasn't talking to, because he defiantly wasn't trying to be funny, and he wasn't laughing, while she was.


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## RedPenguin (Sep 12, 2007)

*Does attention/attraction fluctuate?*

You know, I've been having, some very interesting things going on lately.

See, when I was in High School, I got used to not getting much attention, and the way my peers acting, I didn't want any attention.
But, I got some funny things going on, and I'm curious, what's going on.

Obviously, since I'm 19, I love women. So I tell a few girls, that they I find them cute and like them, many end up just having a bf, and some just seem to ignore me. So I just end up being like, oh who cares.

I usually tend to have a lot of girls looking at me, and smiling, but I never seem to get anywhere, when I try to go for one, because like I said before, they usually end up having a bf, or don't seem to want to talk to me.

Usually in college, it seems like everyone just ignores me, and no one notices that I am around.

But I swear, many times, I go to the store like Walmart or the mall, I constantly have the feeling that I'm being watched. At first, I was like, oh I'm just probably imagining, I mean how can there possibly be everyone looking at me. I just thought it was maybe paronia or something, left over from being bullied in High School.

But then, when I started going to the store with a friend, my friend would always be like, wtf are they starring or why is everyone starring at us? So I started to think, maybe it was paronoia after all.

Eventually, I just was like, oh forget, it, who cares, and just figured, I will just worry about girls later, because I was just sick of running into girls with boyfriends all the time and girls appearing to show interest then just ignoring me.

Then I started having stuff happen, like, I just looked at a cute girl outside my college, then she came in, and just randomly introduced herself to me and started talking to me, like I was the only person in the whole room.

And I told one girl with a bf, that I thought she was cute and for once, I didn't get ignored, she would say hiiiiiiii, really happily, and say goodbye to me all the time after.

So what's going on? It's like, some days, I go, and no one seems to pay attention or even care that I'm around, then for some reason, I seem to turn in to the life of the party all out of the blue. Like I said, even my friends see that I'm being watched many times.

And what's with the women. I mean, it's like sometimes, I will have girls, really talk to me, and they seem digg me, and everything seems fine.

Then, a day or two later, it's like, when I try flirting with some girls, they are like, "WTF do you think you are?"

I noticed this even with guys, some days, I will be smiling, and both guys and women around me, seem to be having the time of their lives, then other days, I will smile, and everyone acts like, "WTF are you smiling about, wtf do you think you are?"

What the heck, makes a person an attention-getter, then no attention, then attention-getting, then nothing for a while. I mean even my friends are like, what's with you Adam, it's like, somehow your amazingly popular one day, then the next, you're outside in the dogs***.


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## RedPenguin (Sep 13, 2007)

*Do I have some kind of subconcious thing for the wrong girl or something?*

Ok, at first, I just thought this was bad luck, but I think there may be something more to it, because I swear it's been going on for years, just repeating it self.

Ever since Middle School and now into College, every time, I go for a girl, she ends up either not liking me or ignoring me, even after she knows I find her attractive.

But here's the weird part, when I finally say, oh who cares about women, I'm done with them for now, and just ignore women, suddenly I get attraction with girls flirting with me and talking to me.

Then when I try for girls again, after feeling good, because I know I'm attractive again, suddenly, I'm back to girls ignoring me again.

Then I swear, once I figure, I don't care about women again, I suddenly get attention.

Also, for some reason, the girls I go for, end up not liking me and the ones that do like me, I never seem to go for, even though I find them attractive.

So is it just bad luck, or is there something going on? I don't get why for so many years now, when I go for a girl and try for girls, I get ignored, but when I decide to ignore girls, suddenly I get attention. Also, I don't see why, I'm not trying for the girls, who are more likely to like me, instead of for some reason, constantly trying for the ones who don't like me.


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## Into The Light (Sep 13, 2007)

*Re: Do I have some kind of subconcious thing for the wrong girl or something?*

you've been posting a lot about this subject, and i don't think we can really give you any answers about what's going on. i know that when we try too hard that it can work against us, and when we relax and are ourselves that's when things seem to work out better.

i suddenly noticed this statement, and i think this is very key:


> Also, for some reason, the girls I go for, end up not liking me and the ones that do like me, I never seem to go for, even though I find them attractive.


if a girl likes you, she's not interesting to you, and if she's hard to get, then you are interested. any thoughts on why you might be doing this? this is a wild guess here, but could it be that maybe you are afraid of success?


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## RedPenguin (Sep 13, 2007)

*Re: Do I have some kind of subconcious thing for the wrong girl or something?*

Well, I feel that I'm interested in girls that like me.

But even though I feel that when I try for a girl, that the girl would probably like me, it always seems like she doesn't.

Yet, when I say, oh the hell with it, and just figure I will give up on girls for a while, because it's annoying, suddenly, girls are flirting with me, then I figure, oh I will try again, then I just run in to girls that don't like me again, so it's like wtf.

I swear, the good things always happen when I don't try. Like the last time I gave up, a girl I just looked at, just came up to me and randomly introduced her self to me and didn't just ignore me like so many others girls do.

Then another girl that I liked, but had a bf, even before I told her she was cute, would always say hello and goodbye to me, and be like see you later, and would treat me differently then every other guy in the room.

But like I said, it's the same thing over and over, I go somewhere hoping to find a girl, I get no where, but if I say, the hell with it, I get somewhere, LoL.


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## Peanut (Sep 17, 2007)

I thought I would just add that maybe it would be helpful for the initial aim to be to become friends and get to know the girls better.  Then you can tell if there is anything of substance there.  I have never had the experience of meeting people randomly and going on a "romantic date" working out to be anything worthwhile.  Moreover, I have have found the best relationships stemming from a friendship, then a mutual attraction occurs, etc.  Even if that is not your aim, I think coming across too strong can scare a lot of people off.  Alternatively, coming across as genuine is always appealing, and that way, if someone is attracted to the real you, that's great, if they aren't, then you wouldn't want to have a relationship anyway.  I guess what I'm saying is forget about the game and focus on the players!


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## RedPenguin (Oct 10, 2007)

*Good body language or bad body language?*

I was just curious what this means.

I have a girl who will look at me over and over for 2-3 seconds, longer if I don't look at her.

Now every time I look at her, while she's looking at me, she immediately looks away acting like she never looked.

Then after that, she will look at me again, then I will look at her, she looks away again.

When her and I talk to each other, she is always nice and talks in a low soft voice that sounds really sweet.

Is this some kind of shy behavior or something? Someone told me, it can be that she hasn't made up her mind what she thinks of me, so she's studying me. Like I said, every time I look at her while she's looking at me, boom she doesn't look anymore, then a few minutes later, she starts all over again, LoL.


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## gooblax (Oct 10, 2007)

*Re: Good body langauge or bad body langauge?*

I can't be sure what it means, but perhaps the 'looking' thing is a bit like what happened to me a couple of years ago.

My friends thought this guy liked me, and noticed that he kept looking in my direction during class. Then I started to look at him, to check if he was looking at me - sometimes it seemed like he was, sometimes it didn't. While I got bored and returned focus to my work, my friends decided to count the number of times he looked at me. Soon enough, a game of eyeball tennis had started across the classroom. The more they looked, the more he looked, the more the tally rose - it's a competitive game. 

So maybe she's interested, and has become even more so by the response she gets from you.


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## RedPenguin (Oct 11, 2007)

*Re: Good body langauge or bad body langauge?*

gooblax, what surprises me is that, only she looks, and that's kinda funny. Because her friend literally sits next to her and sees her constantly looking, and her friend never looks. I would think she would look, like, what the he&& is my friend looking at?

So you don't think it's anything bad or cruel then basically?

I wonder if the thinking about and not sure what she thinks about me, has any merit.

Cause, after she looks, so many times, she would rest her cheeks or chin in her hands, similar to what you do when you are thinking of something. Plus, I can't explain it, but it feels as if she is studying me or trying to figure me out. At least she isn't dissecting me like a frog, LoL.

I don't think she would do anything cruel, cause she's obviously a nice girl, all around, unless she just plays it, but I don't think anyone can act that good, LoL.

Anyway, she almost certainly would have to know I like her. I already smiled right at her directly, I was nice and got her and her friends papers for them, and sat right next to them. LoL. If that doesn't hint to a girl, that a guy likes you, then the world has come to an end. LoL. One thing I did find interesting is, whenever she said thank you to me for getting her and her friends papers, she said thank you, like "awwwww thank you", one of those thank yous like you really really appreciate something. She sounded incredibly shy or something, cause she said it softly but extremely appreciative.

HERE IS THE FULL STORY:


I'm attracted to this girl in my class.

Now, I looked at her a couple times and smiled, at first since I was nervous. She started to really look at me after this. She did it in little 2-3 second glances, over and over.

Then the last class, I figured I would be nice, so I got her and her friends papers for her, and she was just a little surprised, I knew their names. I explained I just learned them from class. She said thank you, really softly and nicely. She sounded shy almost.

It sounded like one of those thank yous like you really do appreciate something. It was like, if you couldn't figure out a problem for a long time, and someone fixes it, you are like thankkkkkkk yoouuuuu.

I then sat at her table, cause I figured, why would I want to try to get a girl, sitting far away from her? LoL.

She appeared to be somewhat nervous, kept putting her fingernails in her mouth which she never did before, couldn't really sit still. She also put her hands in her lap and was rocking her legs a lot. I just noticed this stuff, because I thought it was interesting, how her friend was doing so much of the same stuff, sometimes they were literally copying each other.

I figured, if she looks at me, I don't really want to ignore her, like I'm not interested, so during class, I figured, make eye contact with her, let her see that I'm interested.

Now, every single time, I look at her, she just looks forward instead, acting like she wasn't looking. So I figured at first, maybe she wasn't looking. Then again she looked, I looked, she looked away. She musta did this all class. Sometimes, she would hold her glance longer, if I just acted like I didn't see her.

Someone told me that this can mean, she's thinking about you, but isn't sure yet, exactly what she thinks, so she's trying to make up her mind.

I just don't get this girl, I mean, it would appear she would have interest, since she looks so much, yet, if I ever look at her, she stops looking, and acts as if she doesn't seem me looking. Then she does it again. Why would a girl do that?


I'm a little curious, because when I was shy and younger, I used to look at girls, then if they caught me, I would get nervous and scared and look away as if I never looked. I sometimes still do this if I am intimidated. I didn't know if she was doing this, or something else, cause it's like she can talk to me easily, even though she usually talks very sweet like and softly, but yet she acts shy or something when I look at her.


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## RedPenguin (Oct 22, 2007)

Wow, guys and gals, do I have a good story for you finally.

Finally instead of all these problems and annoyances, I got a girl who actually talks to me after I talked and communicated with her.

Basically this girl I find attractive (physically and mentally), is in my one class.

Now first I just looked and tried to flirt with her, she seemed to flirt back. She would look at me constantly the first day, than the next 2, just look than look away when I "caught" her.

Then I figured, BBDI (Be Bold Damn It), and got her and her friends papers to be nice, she really noticed me then and was surprised but happy that I knew their names. I just to get conversations going over that, but didn't have much luck. I figured, I'm going to give up for a little while.

Then suddenly, when I was dressed up to do my presentation, she and her friend (who never ever talks, not even to the teacher), talked to me, as if they were not shy at all, asking me all kinds of questions about my presentation and stuff, smiling the whole time, with the friend nice but appearing like she's annoyed about something. She and her friend both paid close attention to my presentation, which is more than I can say about pretty much everyone else.

I said see you later to her after class and she said the same. I haven't seen her since, but it was a big day for me. .

I hope I get somewhere next class. Apparently I didn't scare her away or anything with my flirting, LoL. Which I wonder if I did with some girls.


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## RedPenguin (Nov 26, 2007)

I did it. I asked a girl out for a drink.

Well I did it but she said she has class until 9 tonight but she said maybe sometime else/some other time.

She smiled like crazy when I asked her. Then I said how she seems like such a nice girl.

She smiled and then I said about how she's probably why more people come to the Ebensburg library then the other, and she's nicer then girl at the other library.

I can hardly believe that I asked her and it was so easy, I just almost spit it, like rappers say.

I'm still a tad nervous but I'm ok now.


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## Peanut (Nov 26, 2007)

Good job, it sounds like you were nice to her and that she appreciated it. Way to go, sounds like it went well.
Cheers!


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## RedPenguin (Nov 26, 2007)

Yeah, I didn't get a true date or day out of it, but I did get her email.

She said she doesn't really give her number out.

I don't know why to think yet, I'm still waiting for an email reply and I will not see her again for 2 days at least and the semester is almost over.


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## Peanut (Nov 26, 2007)

Regardless, it sounds like you had a nice approach and it will be good practice either way.


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