# Things Not to Say to a Policeman



## David Baxter PhD (Apr 25, 2009)

Things Not to Say to a Policeman 


I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize I was driving.

Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

You look just like my girlfriend's deadbeat ex-husband.

The question is -- do YOU know why you pulled me over?

I was trying to keep up with traffic, and it's miles ahead of me.

If you have to ask if I've been drinking, I'm not going to tell you, dude.

It wasn't my fault -- when I reached down to roll this joint, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged under the brake pedal.

That's a sweet 9mm. You want to hold my .44 magnum?

If I'd known I was getting a full body cavity search, I would have waxed!


----------



## ladylore (Apr 25, 2009)

Thanks - I needed the laugh. :lol:


----------



## Halo (Apr 25, 2009)

Yes that was hilarious....thank you so much :rofl: :loveit:


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Apr 25, 2009)

As the recent recipient of a speeding ticket (in a poorly marked zone - I'm fighting this one - court in May), where I was stopped and asked the question, "Do you know how fast you were travelling?", my favorite was:



> The question is -- do YOU know why you pulled me over?



or I guess



> The question is -- do YOU know how fast I was travelling?


----------



## Jazzey (Apr 25, 2009)

:lol:  good on you Dr. Baxter.  I'll be thinking of you.


----------



## SoSo (Apr 25, 2009)

:funny:  My one and only speeding ticket was for going 59k in a 50k zone.  Trouble was, there were 2 exits out of our parking lot onto the main road.  I never knew that at one end it was 50 the other 60 so was doing 59.  I explained to this arrogant and he was arrogant office that I did not realize the speed changed between the 2 driveways and I really did not think I was speeding.  He said to me "if you don't believe me you can come back to my car and check out my radar."  He was making me late for my accounting exam.  I stared him straight in the crotch, and he was watching me, said, "I don't think I would have the slightest interest in checking out your radar thank you."  Thought he was going to explode he turned so red and threw the ticket at me.  Paid the $45 fine.  My one and only experience with traffic offense.
SoSo


----------



## forgetmenot (Apr 26, 2009)

That is so funny SoSo good for you. thanks for the laugh mary


----------



## NicNak (Apr 26, 2009)

Here's another one I just thought up to not say to a police officer.

"Officer you look quite stressed, here let me get you a benzo"


----------

