# I have a friend...



## MMJ (Mar 31, 2005)

I know I ahen't posted in a long while, but I'm doing much better.

But this isn't about me. It's a Friend of mine.
She's an internet friend but I ahve known her for 5 years now. Since I met her she has always ben a depressive person and I have always tried to help make her happy.
Over the past year I ahve lost much contact with her because of working and her going to college.
When i can i try to talk to her... 
But just recently started sending me messages that scare me. She always says "i know you dont' care but..." and always tells me abotu soemthing horrible happening.

Her last note she explains she's failing college and she admits cutting herself. (She used to do that years ago)

I know I dont' know her IN PERSON but I'm real scared for her and I dont' know how to go about getting help for her. I try to talk to her but it's liek she doens't hear me anymore. I'm really worried about her.

Can someone PLEASE help? She lives a state away from me but I don't know who to call or what to do. In her note she said she isn't going to die but I'm scared. I don't want her reaching bottom and then me nbver hearig from her again.

Please help. I'm sorry It's a weird situation but she's been one of my best friends since and I can't stop thinking about her.

If you'd like I can post her last message if it will help you. I will if it'll help. I just need advice. I'll do what needs to be done to help her. 


Thank you.


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## David Baxter PhD (Mar 31, 2005)

You might find it helpful to read some of the information in the self-injury thread. "Cutting" is rarely about suicidal thinking or attempts. It's not a particularly healthy thing to be doing but it's not perhaps the immediate crisis you imagine it to be.


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## Eunoia (Apr 6, 2005)

hey MMJ!
I think that the fact that your friend started writing you again obviously shows that she trusts you, maybe just needs to vent and be honest w/ someone, but also might search for someone to confide in and get help. But the best thing you could be doing considering you've never met each other in person and you're living a state apart is to just be there for her when she needs to talk. Just listen. It proabbaly means a lot to her given the 5 yr history you guys have. I know it's hard. I've been there. The distance is what makes internet friendships so hard, but I think there is a lot of honesty that you can get out of people b/c of that distance. You can try suggesting places that she could get help (depending on what the issues are)... there is a lot of organizations out there to help w/ various issues. even just sending her a link to a website might help, but not be threatening to her in the way that she will stop talking to you. tell her that you do care, saying to someone "I know you don't care..but" is pretty much asking for that person to admit that they care. There should also be places for her to go to at her college. You could check into that too on their website. She may be doing worse than she was, but you did say she has been dealing w/ depression.. and knowing that you are there to listen is a great help for her in itself. but don't take this all on yourself, you can only do so much. there's limits to what you can do in this kind of situation and you're trying your best. don't give up, k?


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