# Martha Stewart's Holiday To-Do List



## David Baxter PhD (Dec 22, 2008)

*Martha Stewart's Holiday To-Do List*

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards. 
December 2 - Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine. 

December 3 - Using candlewick and hand gilded miniature pinecones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener. 

December 4 - Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim. 

December 5 - Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself. 

December 6 - Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer Committee for consideration. 

December 7 - Debug Windows 2000 

December 10 - Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth. 

December 11 - Lay Faberge egg. 

December 12 - Take Dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble. 

December 13 - Collect Dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts. 

December 14 - Install plumbing in gingerbread house. 

December 15 - Replace air in mini-van tires with Glade "holiday scents" in case tires are shot out at mall. 

December 17 - Child-proof the Christmas tree with garland of razor wire. 

December 19 - Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guest will be same height when sitting at his or her assigned seat. 

December 20 - Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in confectioner's sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture. 

December 21 - Drain city reservoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks. 

December 22 - Float votive candles in toilet tank. 

December 23 - Seed clouds for white Christmas. 

December 24 - Do my annual good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last minute Christmas shopping, thus making many people feel less inadequate than they really are. 

December 25 - Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in color-coordinated manger scented with homemade potpourri. 

December 26 - Organize spice racks by genus and phylum. 

December 27 - Build snowman in exact likeness of Jesus. 

December 31 - New Year's Eve! Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country.


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## Daniel (Dec 22, 2008)

[SIGN]11/10[/SIGN]


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## NicNak (Dec 22, 2008)

[sign]  :yikes3: [/sign]  I am sure her list is like that :lol:


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## Jazzey (Dec 22, 2008)




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## Jazzey (Dec 22, 2008)

I was going to try and add something witty to her list...can't even pretend to be that ambitious!


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## amastie (Dec 22, 2008)

:rofl:
Is it copyrighted David?
I want to share this!
amastie


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