# Quit taking the medicine



## texasgirl (Apr 4, 2007)

I haven't posted much lately because I have been struggling with what to do about the medicine, the fact the I am working now hundreds of miles from where my doctors are and that I don't think there is any medicine that will really work for me.  The side effects of both the Risperdal and Cymbalta were too hard to take and so I quit taking them.  I don't really care anymore what happens.  I can't go to work so nauseated that I can't function and I really can't function on any of it anyway so I pretty much give up.  I don't want to burden you all either so I am just writing this to let you know why I have not been able to offer anything.  There isn't anything left to offer.  I will work till I can't work anymore and then I don't know what to do.  I give up on all of this.


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## Into The Light (Apr 4, 2007)

i am sorry you are having such a hard time. :hug:

did you just quit cold turkey and without consulting your doctors? why not give up working right now and focus on getting well? try not to slide further into deeper depression by continuing work, it won't help matters but just make them worse.

i know things look hopeless but they aren't. it's so very hard to see that when in the depths of depression. there are a lot of medications out there, and a lot of different combinations available as well. you just need to keep working together with your doctors on this.

do you have any support available to your family?

my heart goes out to you tg. please keep talking here.


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## Halo (Apr 4, 2007)

Texasgirl,

First of all I too am sorry to hear that you are struggling right now and my heart truly goes out to you.  Second, I can so relate to what you posted.  I too have tried numerous medications and had lots of side effects and difficulties in general finding the right ones to work.  Being able to work through all of it has been tough and I agree with Ladybug that sometimes taking the time off in order to take care of yourself and focus on you is exactly what is needed as hard as it may seem.

Third, please do not ever feel like you are a burden here or that you don't want to post because you don't want to unload or burden us with your thoughts and feelings or with what you are going through.  We care about you no matter what and are here to support you through the good and bad....that is what family does :grouphug:

Take care TG and keep posting and talking and you will make it through.
:hug: :hug: :hug:


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## texasgirl (Apr 4, 2007)

I try to explain the side effects to the doctors and I don't think they hear me.  I cant quit work because my husband depends on my insurance for his treatment too.  I used to take a drug called Trilafon (sp?) and it didnt cause nearly the side effects I have now.  I went into atrial fibrillation yesterday and today (I do have some medicine for that which I took) but it's all stress related.  I dont have the strength to find another doctor right now especially living in a hotel.  I have to think about what to do but I can't think.


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## Into The Light (Apr 4, 2007)

can you send your doctors a fax stating exactly what the problem is with your medication? it might be easier to put it together in words on paper than to say them over the phone. seeing it in black and white on paper may actually get through to them better. is it an option to have your current doctors contact a local pharmacy for a new prescription of something else?

do you have a therapist? could you call him/her and discuss your difficulties right now and get them to help you with a solution to your situation? do you have any friends or family you could call? even if they are far away and can't come to help, they may still have good suggestions on what moves to make next.

:hug: hang in there.

one other thing, texasgirl, if you go on sick leave from work would your insurance coverage not continue to be available to you? when i ended up being taken off work by my doctor i did not lose my insurance, as i was out on medical leave and had not quit my job.


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## Cat Dancer (Apr 4, 2007)

:hug: :hug: 

I am so sorry you're going through this. I can relate. I do think you should try to call your doctor if you can or go to an emergency room perhaps? 

I know it's hard, but please hold on. :hug:


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## Miette (Apr 4, 2007)

I am sorry you are feeling so down.  I've definitely been there.  I've been on many meds and sometimes felt that none of them would ever work.  That's why my advice would be to keep working on that angle (with the guidance of a physician).  Perhaps you just need to decrease the dosage so the side effects aren't as intolerable.  That's upsetting to hear about the atrial fibrillation, I just saw it in your second post.  I agree with Janet's suggestion... how about going to the ER?  There you can get help for both things.  

Hang in there :grouphug:


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## sunset (Apr 5, 2007)

Texasgirl, I am sorry you are struggling right now, but please dont ever give up. I have had trouble with meds too, and you just need to find the right one. Call the Dr and see what you can come up with.
You are never a "burden" here. We all have things in common here and can relate to each other quite well. Talk to us about it and let us know how you are doing.
I do know what its like to not care anymore, but you have to pick yourself up, even when you dont want too. One step at a time.

:hug:


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## texasgirl (Apr 5, 2007)

I really do appreciate everyone's kind comments and suggestions.  I am trying to figure out primarily what to do about the doctor situation since my doctors are in the city where I used to office and now I am on the road all the time so can't even get back to see them.  I am most likely going to have to change doctors which as we all know is not particularly easy.  My therapist is a nice guy and has been working with me on my schedule to some degree but because I am often called into last minute meetings and have to change flights etc. I can't easily predict when I am going to be available for regular therapy anymore.  And the medicine had pretty serious side effects for me, including heart arrythmia, severe ankle and leg swelling, and nausea.  In all honesty I prefer the psychosis.  I know that it wasn't a good thing to go off cold turkey but I also know that I can't afford to deal with Afib either.  

This job is a new one and I have almost 100 people under me with a startup operation of a new division for my company.  To leave now and go out on disability would be very difficult.  Plus I am moving my house as I said before.  I am trying to get rest whenever possible so that I can think. I do need your help in trying to figure this out - I don't have family here and my husband is recovering from cancer surgery so I don't want to burden him.

thank you all and i'm sorry for being so confused.

TG


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## Into The Light (Apr 5, 2007)

i think the first thing you have to focus on is your medication. you need to contact your doctors, explain the situation, see if they can fax a pharmacy where you are currently located with a prescription (not sure if that is even possible, but look into it - you could even go to a pharmacy and enquire how one would go about doing that). i would most definitely explain on paper to your doctors what the situation is. if you need help with writing it you can post here and we can offer suggestions. 

how long are you to be in the city where you are right now?

who's taking care of your husband while you are away?

do you have children and if so, who's taking care of them?

is there any way you can NOT move house now? i think this would be a lot of pressure you could take off yourself right now.


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## texasgirl (Apr 5, 2007)

I am going home for the holiday.  I was thinking about calling the psychiatrist and just letting him know in no uncertain terms what is happening and asking him to call in a different antipsychotic that I know doesn't cause me problems (at least last time I took it).

My husband is capable now of caring for himself but has to be kept from excess stress (which living with me right now is certainly the opposite of that!)  His surgery has healed and he is over the meds.  Just waiting now to see if it comes back.

I have 5 children but they are all capable of taking care of themselves and some are out on their own.  I am still supporting 2 of them plus helping my mom out.

we sold our house so we have to get out of this one and move to the new rental starting next week.  

I think if I get my dander up I will be able to stand up for myself with the doctors and just say that I know my body and that I can't afford to mess around with something that is only going to make me worse.  I gave it my best shot and the side effects are too bad.


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## Into The Light (Apr 5, 2007)

glad to hear you're going home for the holiday. i think seeing your psychiatrist is a very good idea.

if some of your children are grown, would it be at all an option to have them come home and help with your move?


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## texasgirl (Apr 5, 2007)

two of my kids are.  So this will help for sure.  I really just need for my doctor to listen to me about the meds and give me the right thing.


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## Halo (Apr 5, 2007)

TG,

I was thinking that if you can't get a hold of your psychiatrist would you be able to go to a clinic or something of the equivalent and tell them of the side effects that you had on the med and request a med that you know that doesn't cause such bad side effects.  If you explain to them that you know what will work for you but are unable to get to see your psychiatrist while you are in town before you head out on business again I am sure that they will give you the prescription...or I would think they would anyway.

I am glad that your two kids are going to help with the move because I was going to suggest the same thing.

Take care TG and I will be thinking of you and keep posting as we are here to help and offer suggestions anytime.
:hug: :hug:


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## Into The Light (Apr 23, 2007)

texasgirl i was thinking of you. how are you doing?


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## momof5 (Apr 24, 2007)

TG,
I"m so sorry to hear of all of your problems with the medication. Have you considered a new doctor since this one doesn't appear to listen to yoU?

I know what it is like to say a med is not helping or has side effects for you. I went through this with synthroid years and years ago. I was told it was the only one out there (wrong)

So I stopped taking it, the half that I had left balanced out. But I was lucky as I know that self medication and taking thigns away can cause just as many side effects.

Please take care of yourself and update to let us know how you are doing and feeling.


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## Jan (Dec 6, 2007)

Texasgirl, my overwhelming impulse is to say, Get out of the job.  Nothing is worth your health.  Although it's probably about providing for your husband, so maybe I'm suggesting something that would deprive him of medical care.  But your job sounds like it's eating you alive. 100 people and only your husband and this board to talk to?  Something's out of balance here.  Have you always lived in a plate-spinning world, with three things (new job, new move, husband ill) going on at the same time?  Would you be able to pull the plug, as it were?  Not on your meds--although I think your medication IS your problem--but on this Evermore job that has you plane-hopping so much you can't make therapy appointments that could save your life?  When do you stop?  What if you actually, literally, couldn't get your current supply of meds?  Have you prepared for that possibility?


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