# Waves of pain



## Sylvia (May 14, 2005)

I felt suicidal last night after feeling numb for so long.  I am having difficulty coping with these waves of pain I feel.  Sometimes when I feel emotional pain it is a constant thing and other times I'm just numb.  I find that physical pain is easier to deal with so I cut last night.  I had quit for over two months which is the longest I've been able to do so.  I feel so lost right now and I don't know what to do.

what do you do when you feel suicidal?  Does anyone have suggestions on how to cope?

sometimes I wonder why people are so afraid of what they don't know....I feel like I can't talk to anyone about feeling suicidal in less I am anonymous and staring at a computer screen only known as Sylvia.

why do you think people are so afraid?  Doesn't anyone realize that such fear and stigma keeps people from getting help?

~ Sylvia


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## Daniel (May 14, 2005)

*waves of pain*

Most important, of course, is getting professional help before, during, and after the crisis even though you may not feel like it.  You need to have a phone number to call when you are in crisis--your therapist, your psychiatrist, a mental health facility, or some crisis helpline.   If you just keep the negative thoughts to yourself, they will just fester like a wound.  Therapy would help you substitute the negative thoughts for positive ones.

For my depression and sense of apathy/numbness, spending more time walking outdoors has helped.    I am motivated by the fact that I have to walk to my house back and forth each day since the carport is now several hundred yards away.

Related:
Self-help ideas for people who self-injure
http://www.suicide-helplines.org/


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## sonoffaith (May 14, 2005)

*waves of pain*

The answers that you seek must come from inside yourself. Noone can tell you how to deal with your suicidal feelings, although many can try and help you ultimately you are the one who must make it through the fog. I know what it's like to feel suicidal, I understand the pain and sorrow of feeling all alone. I know many people who have been or are now suicidal and I still feel alone when I try and talk to them. Being depressed and being suicidal are not things that we choose to go through, but we do choose how we deal with our pain. You are not alone. No matter how much you may feel alone you are not alone. There are many who have been where you are. Ans there is light at the end of the tunnel. Never give up the hope that lives inside your heart. Suicide is not an answer. If it was it would be a lot easier to commit. 
     In answer to your question "What do you do when you are suicidal." You look for anything positive in your life. Family, friends, pets, sports, games, T.V., movies, music whatever you like to do. You can make it. Don't forget that. Here is my e-mail if you would ever like to talk.
ryan_k_jones@yahoo.com   This invitation is extended to everyone else also. Just please put Psychologylink or depression or suicide or something like that in under the topic so I know that it isn't spam. Anywho Sylvia if you have nothing else you have the people at this forum. Never give up on hope.


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## Daniel (May 14, 2005)

*waves of pain*

Yes, when I had increased "suicidal ideation," TV was my favorite distraction, esp. comedy shows like Seinfeld.   The psych hospitals I went to as a teenager sometimes played comedy videos like _Grumpy Old Men_.  My other favorite distractions were music and being with friends.  

Sometimes, when I felt especially desperate, I would call my psychiatrist or therapist regardless of the time of day.


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## cm (May 14, 2005)

*waves of pain*

Hello Sylvia,

I also understand the suffering that you are going through, and the extent of the pain too. I'm glad that you are writing in to this forum because it is a place that you can come to whenever you need to.  I have gained a lot of knowledge and support from the many kind, patient and understanding people here and hope that you will as well. 
 Sometimes when we are really feeling unwell, we need to have others help us take the positive steps that will lead us to a more fulfilling and comfortable existence.  I am amazed at the progress that I have made from the point where my life used to be.  So stick with it and keep learning from the experience of others and I think you will find some ways to begin feeling better.
cm


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## Sylvia (May 19, 2005)

*waves of pain*

I don't understand what's happening to me!  My psychologist is taking a three-week vacation which shouldn't bother me.  Somehow subconsciously it does though.  At least that was what she said.  I seem to fear abandonment.  Prior to this I did not know how much I really needed her.  This isn't going to be easy at all...I feel so stupid for having to rely on others.  I wish I didn't.

all of my bad feelings are coming back to me.  I want to be numb...I want to feel something and even if it is pain...I want to die!  A couple of weeks ago I did not feel so hopeless and broken.  Somehow this goes beyond depression and it makes me feel like I'm going backwards and I have no control over it. I am afraid of becoming lady Lazarus!

I just can't understand what is happening the way I feel I need to...

~ Sylvia


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## kelsischanging (May 19, 2005)

*waves of pain*

One thing that helps me when I'm feeling desperate is call your psychologist's voice mail and just talk out loud...or get a tape recorder and talk out loud into it...just talk about what's bothering you ...what you're feeling...just keep talking...it has really been a life saver for me!  Remember we're all here for you!!


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## Sylvia (May 25, 2005)

*waves of pain*

I am thinking of death much more often now.  I don't know how to cope when I feel so horrid.  I just can't seem to deal with things any more.  I just want to quit simply quit.  Everything would be over with...suffering pain life everything.  I need something to hold on to because I feel as though I am losing my grip on life.  my scars call to me wanting to be opened to release the turmoil within myself. I really need to know that someone is listening...

~ Sylvia PlathII


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## David Baxter PhD (May 25, 2005)

*waves of pain*

You said your psychologist gave you the name of someone to call while she was away. Call that number.


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