# I’m Going Back To Work So I’m Pretending I’m Not So I Don’t Overthink Things



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 11, 2020)

So I made a few animations myself with a combination of FlipaClip & Splice apps...

I’d rate it “G” but I suppose if one is homophobic and don’t like seeing a couple of dudes kissing, then they best not watch this...

IRONSTRANGE MEDITATION: Fanimation by HyperDigiFocus (with sound) - YouTube

This is my favourite animation I’ve made ever! Wheeee!


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## gooblax (May 11, 2020)

Pretty cool animation work  Seems like a good productive activity to keep your mind occupied.


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## David Baxter PhD (May 11, 2020)

When is that supposed to happen, @H011yHawkJ311yBean?

I think Ontario is taking a more conservative approach to easing the lockdown than they are out west.

I was shocked to see this photo from Vancouver in my news feed today:



What happened to social distancing?


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## David Baxter PhD (May 11, 2020)

Ontario confirms 308 new COVID-19 cases, state of emergency to be pushed to June 2 | CBC News


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 11, 2020)

Hi Doc!! [emoji2]

I’m working from home. I picked up the computer and monitors my employer “built” for me last Friday and I’m set up now. Just need to get all my passwords reset and make sure all my systems allow me access.

I officially start tomorrow. I keep having to remind myself that it’s only 3 hours Tuesday and Thursday. It’s a gradual return to work...

Initially I had a sort of orientation teleconference last week when my employer: their health department, my manager; and I think a Michelle from Great West Life (now merged with Canada Life); and this liaison person named Sara from NRCS (contracted by the Public Employee Benefits Assoc.) and I were all thrrr...

Day 1: found out after trying to access the meeting that I was either given the correct number and wrote it down incorrectly, or was given the incorrect number and wrote that down correctly! Had a panic attack because my thoughts were spiraling (thought they’d get angry with me, thought I’d get in trouble, thought they would think I was doing this on purpose, etc) and even though I made my thoughts turn around my body was already hit with the adrenaline and I had to walk around for about 30 minutes...

2nd try the next day worked fine because I didn’t have to dial in 20 times. Just got in. Had some mild racing heart and a little light-headed... But nowhere near like the day before...

2 things that kind of freaked me out... I don’t know which calendar my psychologist was looking at (and me) but we both thought I’d be starting May 16th which we thought was a Tuesday... lol But May 16 is a Saturday so now my start day is tomorrow!!! So in my brain I’m thinking “Oh ****, that’s a week earlier than I thought/wanted/that’s not fair/they are setting me up to fail/etc” but I talked myself into believing it was just miscommunication between myself and my psychologist and life isn’t exactly fair all the time, and hey, I need to remember it’s mostly getting my systems working and 30 hours of training I have to do before I speak with customers, etc...

The second point that threw me off was that instead of going back to cellular support, I’m to go back to doing internet support. Again, I had a mild freak out because that is my weaker skill set/that’s not fair/they are setting me up to fail/these people are jerks/WTF?!!” and so on. But I was reminded and I reminded myself that I will get the training I need to help me and my manager is awesome... I should be okay eventually...

So after last Thursday I’m actually surprisingly calmer than I expected...

We’ll see how off the rails I will be tomorrow. lol It shouldn’t be too bad... Hopefully... And I’ve learned to just ride out the emotions and I know I’ll make it to the other side, blah blah blah... 

I am grateful that I will be allowed to STAY home when everyone goes back to the building (whenever that will be)... I don’t think anyone REALLY understood how that closed-in, packed, noisy, busy environment affected me... It felt like my brain was inside a beehive... And there were A-holes who would wear strong scents, too... Or take my ergonomic chair, etc. lol I hated being in that giant Sea of Busy. Our previous offices had huge cubicles, with really really high walls that would help block out the noise and give privacy. It was soooo quiet compared to where we moved to. The gov’t/powers that be wanted to save more money of course, so they crammed sales and technical support and a few other departments into what used to be the sales department. I’m sure they weren’t happy that they lost half the space in their break room...

Anyway, when I went to pick up my computer, nobody seemed to be there at all. It was sooo quiet and dark. I loved it! lol My house should be just as quiet and I was able to pick up my noise-canceling headset, so even if the neighbour’s dogs are barking, I shouldn’t be able to hear them. [emoji2]

So that’s what’s been going on for the past week.... 

What’s been happening with you?? lol


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## David Baxter PhD (May 11, 2020)

That sounds perfect, Holly. 

I work from my home office anyway so not a lot changed for me when the lockdown hit.


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## Daniel (May 11, 2020)

*Re: I'm Going Back To Work So I'm Pretending I'm Not So I Don't Overthink Things*

I agree, that sounds great Holly.



H011yHawkJ311yBean said:


> I was able to pick up my noise-canceling headset, so even if the neighbour's dogs are barking, I shouldn't be able to hear them.



My smallest dachshund barks so loud, that could be my dogs you were hearing


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 11, 2020)

I might be imagining things but I got a bit of a weird vibe from my manager but it might have been because he “behaves” more professionally in front of other people and (used to) takes more liberties when he’s in his own environment/zone...

Just finding out if there are any other changes to my accommodations/restrictions...  The one about being on cellular only was more his call, so I don’t know if he was “told” that he has to convert to “business needs” or what...

But overall I’m trying not to think too hard about it...


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## Daniel (May 11, 2020)

*Re: I'm Going Back To Work So I'm Pretending I'm Not So I Don't Overthink Things*

I hate bad vibes.  

You could burn incense in your home office    Have you seen the show Grace and Frankie on Netflix?  I love the Frankie character played by Lily Tomlin.   Burning incense is something she would do along with other things :hippy:


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 12, 2020)

Sadly, my asthma wouldn’t care for the idea, but it was the thought that counts. Maybe I’ll buy a flat of various crystals and hang them in front of my sunny window. Unless all those sparkles give me a migraine! [emoji38][emoji38][emoji38]

A few hours ago I was ready to throw my computer through the window, but after watching some zombies on TV, I feel much better. And I’m drawing some more... lol

I don’t understand why I got so angry. I mean, I can ask people for help. I figure I had a goal to set up everything and everything wasn’t set up so I got all angry at myself because I forgot I’m not perfect. lol

I also have a weird combination of a laptop and a large monitor. I hate that because I have to have my hands at a reasonable angle AND I have to have my neck at a reasonable angle which I cannot achieve with a laptop... And I’m in a corner of the bedroom that I liked but all the equipment on my desk makes me a little claustrophobic in that space... Or not claustrophobic for ME, but the equipment... If that makes sense.

Anyway, I refuse to work on anything except maybe the desk and where physical things need to go so that I don’t end up losing it on the inanimate objects or the sentient beings I live with...


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 12, 2020)

Whew! 1st day back. It was not too crazy. As usual I worry about what *might* happen instead of just dealing with things as they actually come up in reality...


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## David Baxter PhD (May 13, 2020)

> A message that you sent could not be delivered to one or more of its
> 
> recipients. This is a permanent error. The following address(es) failed:
> 
> ...


 @H011yHawkJ311yBean

Can you update the email in your account?


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 13, 2020)

Um... Should be the same as before... I’ll check...


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 13, 2020)

*sigh* lol I just have to wait 15 minutes to login again. [emoji2360]

It said to enter my username and I kept putting in my email address. So then I tried with my username after about 6 tries and locked myself out... 
[emoji12]


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## gooblax (May 13, 2020)

H011yHawkJ311yBean said:


> *sigh* lol I just have to wait 15 minutes to login again. [emoji2360]
> 
> It said to enter my username and I kept putting in my email address. So then I tried with my username after about 6 tries and locked myself out...
> [emoji12]
> ...


Haha I did something similar at work one time. We have to update our password for the timesheeting system every 90 days, so I forgot that I'd changed it and tried putting the old one (error), thought I'd maybe mistyped it (error), thought ok I'm typing too fast and making a mistake so just do it very slowly and deliberately (error)... THEN realised that I'd updated it, but we get locked out after 3 attempts and at that time had to email IT for them to reset the password and unlock the account. Thankfully they allow us to unlock our own accounts now.


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 13, 2020)

I know exactly what you mean! [emoji16] 100% relatable! [emoji106][emoji106][emoji106]


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## David Baxter PhD (May 13, 2020)

H011yHawkJ311yBean said:


> Um... Should be the same as before... I’ll check...



The problem is your mailbox is full. You have to read and/or delete some messages before your system will accept any new emails.


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 13, 2020)

Yes!

I fixed it and now it’s working!

Thanks for letting me know something was wrong. 

Should work now! 

[emoji38][emoji106]


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 13, 2020)

I actually didn’t see the part at the bottom of your message where it said the mailbox was full... lol  I went into my email server. Emptied a pile of old crap out... Now good to go...


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