# What is my problem?!?!



## dedra (Jun 23, 2005)

I laid in the bed the other day and counted to six....three times...then i realized that was 18 which was in a way associated with six, but the 1 and the 8 really didnt go well with it so i decided in order to get a better number, that i would have to count to six ten times, to get a 6 and a 0 which is better related to the original six that i started with. I already had done it 3 times, so i only needed to do it seven more times..!!!!!!! this is just an example of what goes on all night!!


Attacks about cleanliness….baseboards…behind toilet, fridge oven etc….(cleaned my kitchen (which is super small) for three hours straight and still didn’t get half of it done)
Numbers!!! Counting in general I count everything and then switch the numbers around and do all sorts of things with them
Count letters in sentences, pair them and add in the spaces if it comes up odd
Child has to ask for something to drink several times because I forget it as soon as he asks or I get sidetracked on the way to the kitchen
If I scratch my left foot twice, I have to do the same for my right foot
(includes rubbing and could be hands or arm etc…….just has to be the same number of times on the opposite side)
I organize and organize and then RE-organize—my husbands says the other day “…but nothing is organized.”  WHAT?!?!? But that’s what I do constantly all the time how could it NOT be??
If someone is talking to me and I am really trying to listen, I have to spell each word out in my head as they say it, which in turns causes me to not really hear a word they’ve said, but im trying to pay attention, but my mind is running around and I cant
My mind feels like a TV switching channels, like my one year old has the remote and just keeps hitting buttons!!

Physical Symptoms include:
 severe irritability
unmotivated—sluggish
problems falling asleep
problems staying asleep
cant get up in morning
tired all day until around 6 or 7pm(regardless of nap)
bored
sad
outbursts of rage – short fuse
uncontrolled imagaination at “bedtime”—I very vividly imagine situations where I, my children or my parents may die or get killed (murdered) in front of me and how I would react.  Sometimes I imagine having to choose between my kids or husband and when I choose, they kill the one right in front of me.
Have very intrusive sexual thoughts that I would never ever do and/or think is morally wrong to do and the more I say to myself “stop” the more they pop back in—like curse words “pop” into my head while I am praying

Im sorry this is so sporatic, but I am writing this as I go throughout the day trying to think of every screwy think I do.  There’s a lot LOL  If anyone has any idea what in the world is wrong with me, I would appreciate your comments.. 

PS my mother has a very strange tic with words—saying them with each breathe and spelling them as people talk and having to spell them so many times etc…


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## dedra (Jun 23, 2005)

I laid in the bed the other day and counted to six....three times...then i realized that was 18 which was in a way associated with six, but the 1 and the 8 really didnt go well with it so i decided in order to get a better number, that i would have to count to six ten times, to get a 6 and a 0 which is better related to the original six that i started with. I already had done it 3 times, so i only needed to do it seven more times..!!!!!!! this is just an example of what goes on all night!!


Attacks about cleanliness….baseboards…behind toilet, fridge oven etc….(cleaned my kitchen (which is super small) for three hours straight and still didn’t get half of it done)
Numbers!!! Counting in general I count everything and then switch the numbers around and do all sorts of things with them
Count letters in sentences, pair them and add in the spaces if it comes up odd
Child has to ask for something to drink several times because I forget it as soon as he asks or I get sidetracked on the way to the kitchen
If I scratch my left foot twice, I have to do the same for my right foot
(includes rubbing and could be hands or arm etc…….just has to be the same number of times on the opposite side)
I organize and organize and then RE-organize—my husbands says the other day “…but nothing is organized.”  WHAT?!?!? But that’s what I do constantly all the time how could it NOT be??
If someone is talking to me and I am really trying to listen, I have to spell each word out in my head as they say it, which in turns causes me to not really hear a word they’ve said, but im trying to pay attention, but my mind is running around and I cant
My mind feels like a TV switching channels, like my one year old has the remote and just keeps hitting buttons!!

Physical Symptoms include:
 severe irritability
unmotivated—sluggish
problems falling asleep
problems staying asleep
cant get up in morning
tired all day until around 6 or 7pm(regardless of nap)
bored
sad
outbursts of rage – short fuse
uncontrolled imagaination at “bedtime”—I very vividly imagine situations where I, my children or my parents may die or get killed (murdered) in front of me and how I would react.  Sometimes I imagine having to choose between my kids or husband and when I choose, they kill the one right in front of me.
Have very intrusive sexual thoughts that I would never ever do and/or think is morally wrong to do and the more I say to myself “stop” the more they pop back in—like curse words “pop” into my head while I am praying

Im sorry this is so sporatic, but I am writing this as I go throughout the day trying to think of every screwy think I do.  There’s a lot LOL  If anyone has any idea what in the world is wrong with me, I would appreciate your comments.. 

PS my mother has a very strange tic with words—saying them with each breathe and spelling them as people talk and having to spell them so many times etc…


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## Cat Dancer (Jun 23, 2005)

The best thing to do would be to talk to your doctor about these things. He or she could probably help you or find someone who could.


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## Cat Dancer (Jun 23, 2005)

The best thing to do would be to talk to your doctor about these things. He or she could probably help you or find someone who could.


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## dedra (Jun 23, 2005)

I have been seeing a doctor....he prescribed Xanax for immediate relief and we have tried another long term..but it made me sick, I have two young children and a needy husband, so making time for an appt is hard let alone trying to go once a week to figure this out.  I want an idea of what I am looking at so I dont have to make so many trips to get it right.


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## dedra (Jun 23, 2005)

I have been seeing a doctor....he prescribed Xanax for immediate relief and we have tried another long term..but it made me sick, I have two young children and a needy husband, so making time for an appt is hard let alone trying to go once a week to figure this out.  I want an idea of what I am looking at so I dont have to make so many trips to get it right.


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## David Baxter PhD (Jun 24, 2005)

I suspect it's OCD, dedra. If so, the Xanax may help to reduce general anxiety but it won't do much on its own to counter the obsessive thoughts and rituals.

Ask your doctor about Luvox (fluvoxamine)...


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## David Baxter PhD (Jun 24, 2005)

I suspect it's OCD, dedra. If so, the Xanax may help to reduce general anxiety but it won't do much on its own to counter the obsessive thoughts and rituals.

Ask your doctor about Luvox (fluvoxamine)...


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## lammers1980 (Jun 24, 2005)

I would agree with David that it sounds a lot like OCD.  It would be good to speak to your doctor about medication and therapy.  Ask if he knows about any therapists that specialize in anxiety disorders/OCD.  

I know it feels very wierd to have the thoughts that you have.  Believe me, I've had so many "strange" thoughts and obsessions, that I could fill an encyclopedia.  The important thing to remember about OCD is that it is an issue of anxiety and the thoughts are the byproduct and not the core of the problem.  Research has shown that most people have had disturbing and horrifying thoughts, it is just that we with OCD react much differently to such thoughts than others.  Believe me, the thoughts are not a reflection of your inner character, more like your brain trying to interpret danger signals being sent to you by your amygdala, the most primitive part that among other things, triggers a "fight or flight" reflex.

Welcome to the boards, dedra!  Feel free to peruse the OCD section of the site.  Hopefully there will be some information that you will find useful.

Regards,
Steve.


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## lammers1980 (Jun 24, 2005)

I would agree with David that it sounds a lot like OCD.  It would be good to speak to your doctor about medication and therapy.  Ask if he knows about any therapists that specialize in anxiety disorders/OCD.  

I know it feels very wierd to have the thoughts that you have.  Believe me, I've had so many "strange" thoughts and obsessions, that I could fill an encyclopedia.  The important thing to remember about OCD is that it is an issue of anxiety and the thoughts are the byproduct and not the core of the problem.  Research has shown that most people have had disturbing and horrifying thoughts, it is just that we with OCD react much differently to such thoughts than others.  Believe me, the thoughts are not a reflection of your inner character, more like your brain trying to interpret danger signals being sent to you by your amygdala, the most primitive part that among other things, triggers a "fight or flight" reflex.

Welcome to the boards, dedra!  Feel free to peruse the OCD section of the site.  Hopefully there will be some information that you will find useful.

Regards,
Steve.


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## dedra (Jun 25, 2005)

thanks for your posts....I just needed an idea of what I might be looking at.  I know that I have extreme anxiety, but didnt know if I may have OCD or even ADD....now that I know that it may be OCD then I can start doing more research.  Thanks Again


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## dedra (Jun 25, 2005)

thanks for your posts....I just needed an idea of what I might be looking at.  I know that I have extreme anxiety, but didnt know if I may have OCD or even ADD....now that I know that it may be OCD then I can start doing more research.  Thanks Again


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