# What is "support"?



## Retired

When a person in crisis need support, what are they looking for? 


Are they looking for sympathy?

  Surely sympathy cannot be much of a motivator?

  What are the specific elements of providing constructive support to a person in need?[/list:u]


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## Retired

When a person in crisis need support, what are they looking for? 


Are they looking for sympathy?

  Surely sympathy cannot be much of a motivator?

  What are the specific elements of providing constructive support to a person in need?[/list:u]


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## ThatLady

I think that depends a great deal on the person and the nature of the crisis. Different people need different things at different times, don't you think?


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## ThatLady

I think that depends a great deal on the person and the nature of the crisis. Different people need different things at different times, don't you think?


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## Ashley-Kate

*...*

I agree with thatlady! depending on the situation the person will need a different kind of support like for example when you break your arm you will need people to help you do certain chores or things  then if you brak your leg well then you will nee support to be helped as you walk..  so if you tae an emotionnal distress instead ..So although it is not the same as depression or any other situation that you would need suport in the support is always different depending on the surcomstances 
yours trully
ashley


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## Ashley-Kate

*...*

I agree with thatlady! depending on the situation the person will need a different kind of support like for example when you break your arm you will need people to help you do certain chores or things  then if you brak your leg well then you will nee support to be helped as you walk..  so if you tae an emotionnal distress instead ..So although it is not the same as depression or any other situation that you would need suport in the support is always different depending on the surcomstances 
yours trully
ashley


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## Retired

{{{Different people need different things at different times, don't you think?}}}


What are some of the things that people need?  

If this were a training course for would be volunteers visiting patients in every part of a hospital...orthopedics,to obstetrics to cancer to psychiatry...how should they be instructed to interact with their clients?


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## Retired

{{{Different people need different things at different times, don't you think?}}}


What are some of the things that people need?  

If this were a training course for would be volunteers visiting patients in every part of a hospital...orthopedics,to obstetrics to cancer to psychiatry...how should they be instructed to interact with their clients?


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## pip

understanding, kindness, to feel normal, maybe alone time, someone to talk too...

Depends on the situation, but those are the things I know I look for when something happens.


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## pip

understanding, kindness, to feel normal, maybe alone time, someone to talk too...

Depends on the situation, but those are the things I know I look for when something happens.


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## Retired

> understanding, kindness, to feel normal, maybe alone time, someone to talk too



OK, so these would be some intuitive ways to show empathy toward the person in need.

So if these needs had to be described in a clinical setting to students of psychology, what needs are we working to fulfill when someone is in need of supportive therapy?


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## Retired

> understanding, kindness, to feel normal, maybe alone time, someone to talk too



OK, so these would be some intuitive ways to show empathy toward the person in need.

So if these needs had to be described in a clinical setting to students of psychology, what needs are we working to fulfill when someone is in need of supportive therapy?


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## pip

If you break it down very basically and apply it to Maslow's Hierarchy:

They're probably lacking in Esteem, Belonging, and safety/stability.

Esteem because well, they're hurt, and when you're hurt, you feel less about yourself.

Belonging: Particularly with the stigma of psychiatry/psychology patients, they may feel separated from the people who care about them, shunned, or people might be very uncomfortable around them.

Safety/Stability: things like illness or injury can detract from a person's feelings of stability. Things aren't the way they should be etc.


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## pip

If you break it down very basically and apply it to Maslow's Hierarchy:

They're probably lacking in Esteem, Belonging, and safety/stability.

Esteem because well, they're hurt, and when you're hurt, you feel less about yourself.

Belonging: Particularly with the stigma of psychiatry/psychology patients, they may feel separated from the people who care about them, shunned, or people might be very uncomfortable around them.

Safety/Stability: things like illness or injury can detract from a person's feelings of stability. Things aren't the way they should be etc.


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## Retired

Pip,

Thank you for elaborating on a subject that is often managed by intuition and usually works well because people providing support are good, kind and well meaning.

However your analysis provides some insights into the theory we need to be aware of.

It's a good day for me, as I learned something new today!!

Regards,


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## Retired

Pip,

Thank you for elaborating on a subject that is often managed by intuition and usually works well because people providing support are good, kind and well meaning.

However your analysis provides some insights into the theory we need to be aware of.

It's a good day for me, as I learned something new today!!

Regards,


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## ThatLady

I think people who are suffering need to feel that somebody cares about them. They need to know that others realize how difficult it is to give over your care to strangers. They need to feel that others understand how hard it is to feel out of control of your own life. More than anything else, I think they need to have the assurance that their individuality is understood and honored.

Some people wish to talk about their illness and their feelings. Others just want someone to be there, and to respect their wish for silent contemplation. Still others seek a hand to hold. There are even those who wish to be alone. In most cases, the patient will let you know what he, or she, needs if you will listen with your heart.


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## ThatLady

I think people who are suffering need to feel that somebody cares about them. They need to know that others realize how difficult it is to give over your care to strangers. They need to feel that others understand how hard it is to feel out of control of your own life. More than anything else, I think they need to have the assurance that their individuality is understood and honored.

Some people wish to talk about their illness and their feelings. Others just want someone to be there, and to respect their wish for silent contemplation. Still others seek a hand to hold. There are even those who wish to be alone. In most cases, the patient will let you know what he, or she, needs if you will listen with your heart.


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## Retired

"Giving up one's independence"

This is an aspect of providing support I had not thought of.  Thinking back on the experiences with elderly family members, there was an initial resistance to giving up  their independence.

This is where sensitivity and respect, the honor and understanding you allude to is so important.

One sometimes sees the opposite behaviour among younger people where they speak to their elders in a demeaning or childlike manner, which certainly must be insulting and is counter supportive.

It would seem that providing support is not just something that is required when someone is ill or in crisis, but also in an ongoing healthy relationship.


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## Retired

"Giving up one's independence"

This is an aspect of providing support I had not thought of.  Thinking back on the experiences with elderly family members, there was an initial resistance to giving up  their independence.

This is where sensitivity and respect, the honor and understanding you allude to is so important.

One sometimes sees the opposite behaviour among younger people where they speak to their elders in a demeaning or childlike manner, which certainly must be insulting and is counter supportive.

It would seem that providing support is not just something that is required when someone is ill or in crisis, but also in an ongoing healthy relationship.


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## ThatLady

Absolutely, Steve. It's not about waiting until a person becomes ill to turn on the support. It's about being there with an open heart whether the person is sick, or well. Everyone needs support and one time or another.


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## ThatLady

Absolutely, Steve. It's not about waiting until a person becomes ill to turn on the support. It's about being there with an open heart whether the person is sick, or well. Everyone needs support and one time or another.


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## HA

TSOW said:
			
		

> When a person in crisis need support, what are they looking for?
> 
> 
> Are they looking for sympathy?
> 
> Surely sympathy cannot be much of a motivator?
> 
> What are the specific elements of providing constructive support to a person in need?[/list:u]





I don't believe people are looking for sympathy but rather they are looking for empathy. 

Here is a definition which distinguishes one from the other:
"Sympathy exists when the feelings or emotions of one person give rise to similar feelings in another person, creating a state of shared feeling. In common usage, sympathy is usually the sharing of unhappiness or suffering, but it can also refer to sharing other (positive) emotions as well. In a broader sense, it can refer to the sharing of political or ideological sentiments, such as in the phrase "a communist sympathiser" . 

The psychological state of sympathy is closely linked with that of empathy, but is not identical to it. Empathy refers to the ability to perceive and understand another person's emotions, but does not necessarily imply a sharing of these emotions. A capacity for sympathy, however, requires that the recognition of emotion can cause similar emotion to arise in the observer." http://encyclopedia.laborlawtalk.com/sympathy

Support groups provide empathy and relieves our feelings of being alone without others truely understanding what we are going through. This is why support groups are so vital. You cannot get the healing that comes from "shared experiences" from medication or psychotherapy. 

Support for me is just simply being with and sharing similar experiences to others.

Cheers


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## HA

TSOW said:
			
		

> When a person in crisis need support, what are they looking for?
> 
> 
> Are they looking for sympathy?
> 
> Surely sympathy cannot be much of a motivator?
> 
> What are the specific elements of providing constructive support to a person in need?[/list:u]





I don't believe people are looking for sympathy but rather they are looking for empathy. 

Here is a definition which distinguishes one from the other:
"Sympathy exists when the feelings or emotions of one person give rise to similar feelings in another person, creating a state of shared feeling. In common usage, sympathy is usually the sharing of unhappiness or suffering, but it can also refer to sharing other (positive) emotions as well. In a broader sense, it can refer to the sharing of political or ideological sentiments, such as in the phrase "a communist sympathiser" . 

The psychological state of sympathy is closely linked with that of empathy, but is not identical to it. Empathy refers to the ability to perceive and understand another person's emotions, but does not necessarily imply a sharing of these emotions. A capacity for sympathy, however, requires that the recognition of emotion can cause similar emotion to arise in the observer." http://encyclopedia.laborlawtalk.com/sympathy

Support groups provide empathy and relieves our feelings of being alone without others truely understanding what we are going through. This is why support groups are so vital. You cannot get the healing that comes from "shared experiences" from medication or psychotherapy. 

Support for me is just simply being with and sharing similar experiences to others.

Cheers


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## healthbound

For me, I feel supported when someone simply listens and paraphrases me.


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## healthbound

For me, I feel supported when someone simply listens and paraphrases me.


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