# Depression and New Years



## Andy (Dec 19, 2009)

Total Domination! Yes another post from moi!

I read a post on PL about making it through Christmas, and I was wondering if anyone finds New Years just as or even more difficult than Christmas? 

Personally I find it very depressing, and have since, I don't know, somewhere in my teens, maybe before that(?).   In the past 15 years or so I get so bad that I have on more than one occasion ended up in hospital and last year I was getting my stomach pumped with charcoal before the New year even started (yes, I know, I am THAT cool).

I know my reasons for getting this way, but I don't know exactly how to stop getting this way on New Years.  

I don't even feel like going out with friends at all. I'm wondering if anyone else gets feeling low and maybe what if anything, they do to I guess get through the few days?


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## David Baxter PhD (Dec 19, 2009)

I recently had a discussion with a client about this.

Really, to start with, the whole New Year's Eve thing is artifical and rather silly when you think about it - a holiday dreamed up more for commercial reasons than anything else.

What is it you are "supposed" to do? 


spend a small fortune on clothing and restaurant or other reservations, 
and often additional hotel reservations so you don't drink and drive, 
stay up late with a bunch of people you don't know pretending to be ecstatically happy while in the back of your mind a small voice is saying, "who the hell ARE these people?"
start the mandatory pointless countdown to midnight, local time, as if your time was any more magical than the time in all the other time zones on the planet,
kiss and get kissed by a whole bunch of people you don't know (and worse, you don't know where they've been or what they've got)
while wishing them a Happy New Year, as if you care or are ever going to see or hear from them again, and
wake up the next morning wishing you'd had less to drink and more sleep, and hadn't spent all that money on what really was just another day and not all that much fun.
And if you do NOT do all those things, you're supposed to feel ashamed on missing out on all the "fun".

The best New Year's Eves I have ever had were the ones I spent with my kids watching movies and eating special treats and junk food, or with a special someone doing the same thing. 

On the other hand, I've had a few contented NY Eve nights just by myself, quiet, relaxing, and watching a movie or something.

*The best advice I can give is to find something you enjoy doing, do it, and forget about all the hype or even what day it is. If you can find someone to do whatever that is with, great; if not, do it anyway just for you.*


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## amastie (Dec 19, 2009)

Hi STP.

I can only wonder if there is a particular company that you can seek which would help at that time?  Or even just talk to one of those telephone support lines.  I often find that helps.  Perhaps if you could tee it up with someone beforehand especially to ring them just before New Year's Eve to help get you through the worst of it.

Sorry I have so little to offer.  I personally cope in the way that I cope all the other days, by withdrawing and distracting myself with trivial things to do - organizing something or other, just to keep my mind focussed on something.  But I must say that for me New Years is never so depressing.  Mainly it is Xmas and the lead up to that.

Will be thinking of you then :support:

amastie


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## Andy (Dec 19, 2009)

lol When you write it out like that it sounds like a night out for the ficticious.  (lol wrong word)
I think I use to be like that. Having to go to thee party etc. basically just following everyone else.
Now It's more about the year that just passed and the year that's suppose to be ahead. 
I am "suppose" to be thinking about the great things to come in the new year, I do the opposite I guess.  It basically comes down to whether I want to do all this again for another year (can I say that?) or not. 
Then come the platitudes. This year will be different...knowing fully well that the last time I heard that was the year before , and then before that...

I would never call a telephone support line again. They are great for people who are in real crisis, definitely. I just think I am overly sensitive, I just can't handle if their tones of voice is off or if they pause here... it just gets me even more worked up. Anyway, that was a good suggestion Amastie, just not for me.


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## Banned (Dec 19, 2009)

When I was younger I would cry every new year's eve, thinking "there'll never be another 1988 again".  Now, it's just another day for me.  A day I look forward to to relax, sleep in, take it easy.  No resolutions (why set myself up to fail?), no special anything...it's just a day.


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## Domo (Dec 19, 2009)

Oh STP i am the exact same. I can't stand new years eve.

Last year i went to a friends house with my then boyfriend and we were going to another friends party. I got so overwhelmed that i went home before we even got to the party. I watched movies by myself at home. 

I just wish it wasn't such a big deal and that i could stay at home and not have people bother me that i should be doing something.

It's just ****ing depressing. 

I have no advice for you. I just understand.


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## Banned (Dec 19, 2009)

My annual ritual now is to go to bed early and enjoy the sleep  

I also avoid Christmas parties.  Why are we nice to people who we don't even like once a year?  It's rather hypocritical to me.  Either be nice all year or don't fake it just because it's Christmas.  I mean, don't go out of your way to be mean or cruel, but if someone doesn't like me I don't want them to pretend they do for the sake of the season.


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## Murray (Dec 19, 2009)

I am so sorry that New Years is a difficult time for you. I also find it extremely depressing. There are all of these expectations for the evening itself as well as the coming year which I just find really hard to deal with.

I wish that I could say something to help you cope. For me, I am just going to try to accept that I did my best this past year and will try to do my best next year. Usually I tell myself that I will make all of these drastic changes and suddenly I will be a new and better person...but that never seems to work. I just end up putting a ton of pressure on myself and then feeling like a failure and beating myself up. So this year, I am just going to attempt to accept that I am a work in progress and that I will keep working on myself and that the new year doesn't really mean anything. It is just another day. Sorry, I always just end up rambling nonsense.

Anyway, I envision my New Years eve consisting of comfort food, a couple good movies, and my cat it my lap while I knit. I probably won't even watch the ball drop.


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## Andy (Dec 19, 2009)

Murray said:


> Sorry, I always just end up rambling nonsense.



Don't apologize, everything made perfect sense, thank-you.

That is really what I mean, it's not about the New years eve. It's about the New year and what that represents.

Your News Years sounds just fine, nice and relaxing. You could knit your cat a sweater:blush:

Thanks Murray


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## Murray (Dec 19, 2009)

That's funny, I could make her a sweater, but she probably wouldn't like it. She does always make sure that she is a part of anything that I knit...she sheds a bit and no matter how hard I try, I am always certain to find some of her fur in whatever I work on. I also make quilts and she really prefers my quilts to my knitted items.


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## NicNak (Dec 19, 2009)

Hi STP.  Just spend New Years Eve with us!  I can tell you right now where I will probably be, which is right here on the forum.  Laughing and joking with like people.


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## Andy (Dec 20, 2009)

Murray said:


> That's funny, I could make her a sweater, but she probably wouldn't like it. She does always make sure that she is a part of anything that I knit...she sheds a bit and no matter how hard I try, I am always certain to find some of her fur in whatever I work on. I also make quilts and she really prefers my quilts to my knitted items.



Little reminders everyday of your cat. 

---------- Post added at 11:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:57 PM ----------




NicNak said:


> Hi STP.  Just spend New Years Eve with us!  I can tell you right now where I will probably be, which is right here on the forum.  Laughing and joking with like people.



Sounds like a plan. My friend wants me to go out with her and her other friends but I'd rather pull the hair out of my head one strand at a time. lol

You will celebrate New years before me and some a day earlier.  Maybe I should just celebrate with with the people who celebrate a day earlier and get it over and done with.


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## NicNak (Dec 20, 2009)

STP said:


> Sounds like a plan. My friend wants me to go out with her and her other friends but I'd rather pull the hair out of my head one strand at a time. lol.



I have found watching paint dry or grass grow to be equally fun, but less painful


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## Andy (Dec 20, 2009)

NicNak said:


> I have found watching paint dry or grass grow to be equally fun, but less painful



Yes I suppose I could have said something like that.  Interesting.:fool:


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## Banned (Dec 20, 2009)

Mind if I join the party on the 31st?  I'll be home, watching needles fall off the tree or something (a little more festive I suppose than watching paint dry).


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## NicNak (Dec 20, 2009)

persona said:


> Mind if I join the party on the 31st?  I'll be home, watching needles fall off the tree or something (a little more festive I suppose than watching paint dry).




The more people the more fun!  Sure join in.


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