# Depression is just the tip of the iceberg



## groovey (Mar 27, 2005)

Well if someone told me 10 years I would be telling part of part of my life story to cyber space I would of said what are you nuts!!

First I would like to say Dr.Baxter thank you for creating a forum for people to try to solve the personal problems.


Ok in a nutshell I have been depressed for quite sometime, all my life as far back as I remember. I have never been happy, I have been hospitalized back in the early 80's Dr's claiming that the depressing was contributed to marijuna. At the time being in my early 20's I didn't take much stock in it! I continue to smoke weed for the next 20 years!! I recently stopped(close to 2 years now) but I am still suffering from depression  from many things a recent breakup with a girlfriend as well as unhappy with personal apperance, I am unable to hold on to a job for more the 1 to 2 years! I have very low self esteem and a few other issues that I find too personal for the forum.

Should I go back to counseling? And if medication is offered should I refuse it?


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## cm (Mar 27, 2005)

Welcome to this forum groovey.


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## Cat Dancer (Mar 27, 2005)

I think counseling would be good. 

There are medications that can help you as well.


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## David Baxter PhD (Mar 27, 2005)

With chronic depression as you describe it, groovey (and your doctor was right about marijuana 20 years ago, by the way), I suspect that medication may be necessary, at least for a while, but it's not likely to be sufficient.

It is generally true that psychotherapy and medication combined are more effective than either alone. I think this is especially true in the case of chronic depression or dysthymia.


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## ThatLady (Mar 27, 2005)

If you're feeling badly about yourself, have suffered a recent break in a relationship, have recently stopped a long-standing habit, and have problems holding a job, I'd say therapy would be really helpful for you. As for medications, they might help  too,  depending on the diagnosis and what your therapist feels you need. First thing to do, in my opinion, is find a therapist and get started.


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## groovey (Feb 28, 2006)

*Update*

Your a hard man to find David .

I took everyone advice and have been going to counseling for nearly 8 months now and as much as I didn't want to I did take the advice of the Dr and took the medication he subscribed to me (Bupropion) what I've been on for nearly 6 month and just got switched to a new medication (Ergotop 30 mg filmtabletta nicergoline) not approved in the states but was told that this was better then Bupropion.

I know this next area is a little off topic but I have to ask your opinion on this matter David.

To make a long story short over the past year or so I've been involved in a relationship with a ex co-worker (neither one of us still work their)
 (During this time I am launching my internet business)? ? ? 

Anyway while I was dating her she up and disappeared for nearly 5 months after I began seeing her, well the truth be known she was sentenced for 1 year for writing bad checks. ( I kept in contact with her during her time in prison, she serves her 7 months out of the year she gets, she tells me that she was the one that did write the check(s) but it was her ex that took the money out of the account (for what else but for drugs). :roll:

Ok so she gets out she has no car and no job now, with what little money I?ve saved I try to help her (buy some groceries, bring her to Dr. appointments, to job interviews and to? see her parole officer). Mine you she has been out for three months now with no income just food stamps. So I start to notice she is spending money, not a lot but more then the allotted money she would get from the state. I ask her where she got the money that she has been spending; she says ?her dad gave her money? Ok so I have some cash stashed away. And I?ve been noticing its going fast. So I get really suspicious between the amount she been spending and the amount of money that?s seems to be missing and finally count my money. (During this time she gets a loan from her grandmother for a car, but she still needs 300 for the registration and 180 for the down payment for her insurance). Well two days ago I discover I?m missing 500.00 from my stash, at first I kept my mouth shut and don?t say a word, and I finally confronted her. Obviously she flat out denies it and tell me I can search her purse and go to her house and look over their. (* I live alone so no one else here to accuse) 

I asked my shrink and he tells me she will not change, and that she would need to go to counseling to have her change.

So my question is David what would you do?? I want my money back I figured I would have her write about 100 or so articles for my websites and then kick her to the curb; at least I get something for my 500 (Its possibly more)? . :frown:


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## David Baxter PhD (Feb 28, 2006)

First, let me say I agree with your therapist - there is a certain mentality that enables some people to lie and steal repeatedly and not feel any guilt or remorse and it does sound as though your friend is one of those people. Since she probably doesn't feel any guilt, shame, or remorse for what she has done to date, there is little likelihood that she has any incentive to change.

So now how do you get your money back? Maybe you don't.

Your suggestion that you have her work it off may or may not be feasible. Even if she agrees to your plan, does she have the ability to write the type and quality of artricles you want for your site? Will she follow through on a commitment to write X number of articles for you? If the site is suuccessful, will she come back later to demand a cut of the income?

Maybe you'd be better off cutting your losses and cutting her loose now...


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## ThatLady (Feb 28, 2006)

Gosh, Groovey! It's good to hear from you! I'm glad you've got a good doc and some medication to help you get where you want to go, hon! 

As to this leech (umm, girl is what I mean, I'm sure), I'm with David. Just put her behind you, chalk up the loss to a learning experience, and get on with getting on. You don't want a "friend" in your life who would steal from you, hon.


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## foghlaim (Mar 1, 2006)

Have to say i agree with david and thatlady..? you have done more than enough for this girl.. cut ur losses and chalk it up, learning experience.? ? 
sorry you've been stung!


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