# Obsessed with death



## Lonewolf (May 15, 2014)

Ihave recently noticed that I have a morbid fascination about death and dying (more than usual!!) Keep drawing gravestones, angels and other stuff without even thinking before the pen hits the paper!!! 
I am not necessarily thinking of suicide,  but about the death and the dying!! I am not worried about it, but am almost lost in the thought of it! I just can't seem to focus on anything else for very long!! 
Maybe I should get a job in a morgue?
I'm not sure why I have suddenly noticed everything around me that is in some way linked with the only thing i can be certain of in this life? And if it has no link to it, I somehow find one!!!
It is not as if i just stay at home dwelling on this, no matter where i am, its there, in the back of my mind all the time!!!
I hope its ok to ask, has anyone else experienced anything like this?? How on earth do i stop it?? It can't be any good?
Does anyone know why this is happening to me???
I had really bad mood swings lately aswell, is that the reason for this??


----------



## Retired (May 15, 2014)

*Re: obsessed with death!*

See if this article provides any insights or offers some solutions:

Why Ruminating is Unhealthy and How to Stop | World of Psychology


----------



## Banned (May 15, 2014)

*Re: obsessed with death!*

Hi Lonewolf,

I share your obsession to a strong extent.  I can share with you some of the things I've done that have helped me and maybe they will help you.

I talked with my therapist about it. As often as I needed to.  No matter how big or trivial it seemed.  In doing so I learned that for me it's more of an OCD thing than a true desire to die.  He helped me gain some skills to manage it.  Things like....

I stopped reading the obituaries every day.  That just fed the obsession.  I like to read, almost obsessively, but I looked for other things to read that were not death-oriented.

I stopped writing my own obituary.  That also fed the obsession.

I focused really hard on things that meant life.  I'm not so much into babies, but animals, flowers, plants, etc...all those signify life.

I talked about it a lot in therapy.  Like, ad nauseum.  I think my therapist gets the "patience of a saint" award.

I got rid of things that signified death to me, like knives, ropes, excessive medication, etc.  

I often thought of working in a funeral home as well.  It goes with the obsession.  I laid out everything about that job and realized that I hate dressing up (funeral homes are very formal), I hate things that require follow-up at work (lots of paperwork and follow up in the death business), I researched how much a funeral director makes (about half of what I make now), and realized that that is definitely not the career for me.

It took a lot of effort and work with my therapist to diminish the obsession and I don't know if it'll ever go away entirely but even when I went out for dinner with a couple friends a few weeks ago they commented on how I'm way less obsessed with death now than I was a few years ago.

With some CBT you can learn to overcome the thoughts and feelings and think differently, but you'll likely need the help of a competent therapist to do that.

I hope that helps.


----------



## forgetmenot (May 16, 2014)

*Re: obsessed with death!*

Start by drawing different things ok that represent life hun   use your art to help move you out of the darkness to the light ok  draw things that represent living 
flowers trees nature ok    things like that  h ugs


----------



## MHealthJo (May 16, 2014)

*Re: obsessed with death!*

There are all kinds of obsessions and fixations that people have Lonewolf- sometimes something really unusual or odd and they can't put their finger on why.

It is true that it can be helpful to deliberately look for some new things to cultivate interest in. But be understanding toward yourself that the other thoughts may continue popping into your head plenty of times without you encouraging them or anything, and they are just a part of the strange mysterious "backgroud noise" that our brain creates so much of the time. For some people, this 'background noise' has tendencies where it just KEEPS ON going back to certain topics or ideas a LOT.

In addition to what others have said, and the advice you'll eventually get from your treatment and other resources - it's ok to just "allow space" for these thoughts while we carry on with whatever we are doing.The brain's antics don't necessarily mean anything, and trying to 'control' or 'stop' them worriedly sometimes heightens those thoughts. At times if we just let those kind of brain antics flow along without taking them seriously, it may help them flow past rather than build into something anxiety-producing or overwhelming. 

The brain takes the prize for 'most baffling part of the human body'!


----------



## Lonewolf (May 16, 2014)

*Re: obsessed with death!*

!!!!!


----------



## forgetmenot (May 16, 2014)

*Re: obsessed with death!*

:support:  I know it is hard lonewolf  just know we are here ok  you are not alone


----------

