# Wake up one day, and everything sucks?



## Chain Lightning

That happens to me...it happened to me today.  I don't know why either, here's nothing new about today that should bother me.  So I looked for something enjoyable or funny but things that normally make me happy don't.  I'm going to go jogging even though that's the last thing I feel like doing...sometimes it helps a little.  I don't get this.


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## Jazzey

Yup...I'm sorry you're going through this CL. But, I do understand.  My alarm is set for 5 am - that's when I go for my jog....Some days are just harder than others.  And I'm now just trying to gauge those days and, take extra care to do what I need to...which includes the jogging for me...


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## Halo

Boy can I relate to exactly what you have written CL.  I have days very similar to that and even times when my day will start off great and turn to bad pretty quickly and sometimes back to great again.....there just seems to be no rhyme or reason for it.  Nothing special, nothing triggering...just because.

I can relate also to trying to do something that you enjoy to bring that sort of spark back but more often than not for me at least it doesn't work.

I hope your jog helps.

Take care


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## Chain Lightning

Jazzey: Jogging is one of the things that helps me not...how do I say it right...not let it take over if that makes sense.  I mean it doesn't help how I feel by a lot but I refuse to give in completely.

Halo: Hmmm we just have too much in common...I can feel great and then really bummed out in the same day or worse yet, the same hour.  Sometimes it seems like something triggers it but then it just happens most of the time.  That hasn't happened to me in a long time...in fact I've been really happy for quite some time...until today.


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## Halo

CL,

It does sound like we have a lot in common.  My thoughts when reading your post especially considering you said that it happened just today is this:

1. Are you sleeping okay, eating properly....I know for me that sometimes when either of these is "out of whack" then my mood can plummett quickly and I don't even realise it.

2.  Have you started/stopped any medications recently?  

3.  Do you keep a journal/diary?  If so, does reading the few pages/week before show a pattern of anything.

4.  Do you have a therapist that you are seeing in whom you can explain this and help get some additional insight?

I know it probably seems like I am just rambling off questions but these are mental ones that I do all the time to try and determine my own personal fluctuating moods.

Take care
:hug: :hug:


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## Jackie

I can totally relate!  I get alot of those type of days:hug:


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## Chain Lightning

Halo:

*1.* I am a total health freak and eat properly 90% of the time.  I've actually done a lot of research on metabolic types and eat the right diet for my type.  Interestingly, the diet has cleared up some health problems I had like IBS, eczema and acne completely.  

As far as sleeping...I attempt to sleep properly but I have problems with that sometimes...for the last 6 maybe 8 weeks I have only slept about 5 hours a night.  It would be bed time and I just wasn't tired and would stay up drawing/writing, playing guitar and reading.  Sometimes as crazy as it sounds, I'd go walk my dog until 2am just because I had the energy and wanted to get out of the house.  Now I have completely crashed...I've slept 10-11 hours for the past 2 nights.  I feel pretty much the same as yesterday...and tired in a way. 

*2.*  I'm not on any medications, haven't changed any supplements either.

*3.*  I started a journal about a year ago...after the big breakup with my ex.  It was therapeutic for me then...now it has gotten to be a hobby.  Reading back a few weeks: I just wrote mostly stuff about my plans for the future...like books I want to write to inspire the world, that kind of thing.  Just ideas and the offshoots of them.  Everything back a few weeks was consistently good...well accept for a rant about an argument or two...I don't even want to go there.

*4.*  No...but I will see somebody as soon as I get a normal day job.  Right now I am self employed but could use some additional income for sure.


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## Halo

Wow CL, it really does seem like it happened almost overnight.  As I have said, I am in the same sort of boat in a way and unfortunately don't have much to suggest. 

One thought though was whether the accumulated lack of sleep night after night has lead to a sort of crash which plummetted your mood and now that you are gaining some much needed rest we can only hope that it will increase your mood.

Other than that, maybe someone else may have some suggestions.

Take care


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## barbeliz

I feel the same way at times and wonder if this is normal. How can I go from being in a great mood one day and the next day I wake up miserable. Nothing has changed in my life. I try to keep telling myself that I have everything going right in my life right now and it can always be worse. I also go running alot, maybe too much. I feel really great for awhile but, unfortunately it doesn't last that long.


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## Banned

Hi CL,

I can totally relate.  I have days like that too.  I'm glad you're going for a run - that's more than I can usually do...so good on ya.  I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.


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## Tampa11

You took the part "Wake up one day" for granted, that alone should start your day being happy. After that you choose how happy you want to be by how you accept what life has put in front of you, and how you choose to deal with it.


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## Chain Lightning

I don't have any reason to feel this way...there's not any particular thing I am bothered by.  Its just that I FEEL sad and don't know why.  Believe me, I won't let myself think negative thoughts (that just makes it worse), that I can choose...but on how I feel...I wish.  I don't sit around thinking about feeling sad either (that makes it worse), I've been working in my garden today and finished reading a book.


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## Into The Light

i have days like that too, i wake up and it's just a bad day. had a bad day yesterday and today when i woke up it was a better day. not great, but better than before.


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## Tampa11

All we have is the moment we are living in, It could be working in a garden, or an unpleasant task. We have to learn how to enjoy that moment regardless what it is, because that is all we really have, this thinking can be accomplished with some effort.


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## Always Changing

CBT helps in most times, also if it can be found, if there is an actual cause and dealing with it, this too will help with down mood times.

Lack of proper sleep has been cited as 1 of the reasons for mood changes in most ppl.  

I like what Halo said about asking yourself some questions and or reading over the diary\journal to see if a pattern is evident,  etc.

I ask myself "why" a lot, sometimes I can see the reason other times I cannot, I come here and read a lot and that helps too.


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## Chain Lightning

I looked back in my journal...way back...and it was kinda scarey...there is some kind of pattern.  Reading my journal really got me thinking...I read an entry and was like "ah, I remember _that_ day."  

Also I thought back further and got to thinking about all of the problems I have had over the years with school, extra curricular activities, jobs, relationships...everything would be great and then something happened and made it horrible and I'd flip out/quit/walkout.  I wish I had a journal for then, but just having it for the past year told me a lot.


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## Halo

Sorry CL I got a little side tracked on that project but will make a note of it to look into for you.

Take care


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## Chain Lightning

That's ok....thanks again Halo.


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## Halo

Your welcome CL   Will get back to you soon


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## ladylore

I have said anything CL because it looks like everyone else has it covered. What I do want to say - every time I see the title of this thread I laugh. Don't know why but it gives me the giggles every time.

Maybe because I can relate.


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## Halo

Maybe that is why I have been drawn to this thread


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## Chain Lightning

Alright you all...everything's great now! :bounce:  

I mean seriously...I went to a friend's house last night...I didn't fell like being around people but didn't want to be alone either.  We were watching some music videos and then later I became totally fine...and still am. :mrgreen:


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## ladylore

Great to hear your feeling better.


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## Chain Lightning

ladylore said:


> Great to hear your feeling better.



Never mind I jinxed myself.  I'm not even sure what I'm feeling right now.


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## ladylore

That's ok CL. Sometimes that's just the it goes.


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## Chain Lightning

I talk to my reg doctor last week about all this.  She told me of a place I can go for free and give me any help I need.  I called the place yesterday but they were busy.  I haven't heard back and will call them again tomorrow.  

What do you think I should do if they ask me if I have suicidal thoughts.  Honestly I do but would never actually do it because of my spiritual beliefs and I couldn't do that to my family/friends.  Should I tell them or will they try and hospitalize me?


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## ladylore

I highly, highly doubt they would hospitalize you. What they are, are thoughts. And thoughts by themselves can't hurt you. Mentioning the thoughts may allow them to help you more. Good luck and let us know how it goes.


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## Chain Lightning

Yeah I see what you mean...I don't want to leave anything out.  I've never been to any kind of therapy so don't really know what to expect.  My doctor said it was "sad" that I am just now asking for any help.  She thinks I may have something like bipolar disorder going on...and I didn't tell her the half of it.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Thanks for the support.


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## kelmom

I can definitely relate to what you are going through!  I hope the run makes you feel better!  I heard that exercise is good for the soul! :hug:


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## Chain Lightning

I have 2 more weeks before my appointment.  Even though I have dealt with this crap all my life, 2 more weeks just feels impossible right now.  Every day is a nightmare...even trivial tasks are extremely difficult.  Its not like I felt 3 weeks ago when I was just very depressed and had no energy.  On one hand I feel great and have so much energy and ideas its annoying but I'm so depressed and feel like I am about to cry most of the time.  Sometimes one feeling takes over and it can last 5 minutes or 5 hours I never know what to expect.  I went for a walk because I was so amped up on top of being sad.  I felt almost like frolicking and climbed on one of those kiddie forts and sat there feeling like I was going to start crying and can't.

It really ****es me off that I am unemployed (because of all this) and almost out of money...now I don't know how long it will take before I become employable and what am I going to do if I run out of money?  I don't always have someone to talk to because I annoy people and they don't understand and just criticize me or talk me into getting drunk.  One of my friends got mad at me because I said I don't know why I feel this way and he said that I didn't just want to tell him.  One day I felt pretty good called another friend and then rode my bike to her place across town and after I got there start crying.  She said I just need to get a job...like that was what is wrong.  I just don't know how to cope for 2 more weeks of this crap...I don't know what to do.  This sucks so bad.


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## Always Changing

> I just don't know how to cope for 2 more weeks of this crap...I don't know what to do.  This sucks so bad.


I am sorry to hear you feel so bad, I can relate to having to wait for appointments and feeling like it is forever while waiting.  I can think 1 maybe 2 ways that may  help with the waiting and trying to cope.
1. Ring and see if your apt can be rescheduled to sometime sooner, let them know on the  phone how you feel, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, like an earlier apt also you will have let someone know how you are feeling, that in itself may help a bit.
2. Try not to think so far ahead, don't think of tomorow even, only today or event next hour.
3. Find something you  like doing and try to do that (except drinking as that can make you feel worse) . be it reading, writing, walking or whatever. 
Other here might have more ideas for you to help you through to your next apt or you might have some of your own.?? What do you like doing, either with friends or on your own??  maybe make a list?

take care
:hug:


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## David Baxter PhD

I'm not sure what part of the world you live in, Lightning, but might you be eligible for some sort of disability?


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## Chain Lightning

> 3. Find something you like doing and try to do that (except drinking as that can make you feel worse) .



My emotions are so intense that I find it impossible to concentrate most of the day...I have moments of relative clarity like now.  I keep a journal and at least walk almost everyday.  I don't have the patience for any hobbies...just thinking about them annoys me...but there's got to be something.  Thanks.

I'll be sure to ask about disability...didn't think of that.


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## oscartheman

I wish I knew you, I bring people up all the time.  I'm going to tell you what, maybe it is something biological, or maybe you were the one that caused all of this... But there's a good way to be more sure: Why don't you just TRY to be happier one day? Happiness is the opposite of depression. The thing about hapiness is that it can be genuine, biological or BOTH. But try it out for a while.... Just try to be a little happier! I don't know if I'm asking you something that is impossible for you to do... But a lot of people have been in your spot before, and when they TRY, they feel better. If it is biological, a part of it isn't your problem, so don't blame yourself. but a part of it IS in your control. You can CHOOSE to be happy! Right now, you can be as happy as you want to.... It may be a little hard to imagine, but it's not impossible. Plus, the brain doesn't care.... Did you know that one? Even if your laughter is false, or you try to bring yourself up by saying happy things to yourself, even if you are not feeling it or not believing it, the brain will respond anyway. TRick the brain! The happy parts on your brain will be activated, and your brain releases endorphins anyway, even if you are faking your laughter. It can even be something totally stupid, it doesn't matter to the brain. It will get more and more real in no time. So you CAN be happier right now. Snowball efffect! You just have to start little by little... The hardest part is always starting! But you'll gain motivation as soon as you do.... It's a cycle, it aqquires momentum with every other tought. The third toughts has the momentum of the first and the second and so on... So step back, relax a little bit, and give it a go! It can't make you any worse, that's for sure. :lol:  You'll like yourself more when you at least TRY to feel better. Your brain will respond, and a part of it will be you really feeling good for yourself by trying. You can just say to yourself: And I have amazing eyes! But it's the emotion that matters... You can say it normally, but REALLY PROUDLY say it. Find always reasons to be happy, even if it's just durning 5 or 10 minutes.... Other people don't know how good CAN they feel, so that's why they feel bad\normal usually. But good news you're starting to wake up... It will be worth it, you don't even know the result.... So try try it! It improves your health, and happy people are crazy magnetic. The hardest thing is starting, but now that you've read this post, you have already started starting.... Just by thinking on the outcome, how good will you feel if you try to bring yourself up, (Which you can't see it yet!) give it a shot! Go on, see if you can do it, which you can, so see how good can you do it! :mrgreen: 

There goes my attempt... Hope this posts helps you, I sure liked posting it lol :2thumbs:


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## David Baxter PhD

I don't say this as a rebuke or criticism but rather for clarification.

People who have never experienced a major depressive episode often say things like what you've just said, oscartheman: Why don't you get out in the sun? Why don't you call up some friends? Why don't you just push yourself to be more positive? Their motives are well-intentioned but totally misguided. If the depressed individual could just be more positive, or go outside in the sun and cheer up, or call up some friends, s/he would do so. But the reality of major depression is that it's a good day if you can just get up and brush your teeth.


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## Always Changing

A psychologist once said to me that depression is a choice.. guess what? I never went back to him again. 
for me depression is not a choice,  it happens,  how I deal with it depends on the severity of it at the time.  asking me to Try to be happy is like saying I choose to be depressed. 
I know the above post was not written to me or for me, but as this is an open board I am choosing to reply and say I do not think the above post is  going to help a lot of people in fact I go so far as to say that It may in fact make some people feel worse.   It did me.  

I do actually try to Act "normal", smiling etc when other people are around me, but that is only a mask I wear, I try to be happy for other people.  It does nothing for me only serve to stop people being worried about me. 


Maybe it could work for a small few people I do not know. 

Maybe I am in the wrong space to be replying to this.   delete if necessary.


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## white page

Hi Oscartheman,
I understand that your intention in your post came from a good place, and it is appreciated that you would like other members to feel as happy as you do. Thank you. 

As Dr Baxter says clinical depression is not a matter of will. If it was I would be the first person to will myself out of depression, and as Always Changing says, there are even certain rare professionals who are misguided by the belief that we choose depression, this is as misguided as saying that we choose the colour of our eyes. 

Depression is still very much misunderstood, it can come upon us when things are seemingly 
going well for us. It is very much like the title of this thread.

best wishes wp


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## Chain Lightning

Yeah no offence, its definitely not a choice...that would be like telling somebody who was on ecstasy to not feel high.  

I have an important meeting with my lawyer in about a week...I'm trying to decide what would be less stressful, canceling that meeting or calling and begging for a sooner appointment.


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## white page

It may be more comfortable to advance the appointment. Less days to stress out in


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## Chain Lightning

Oh and I meant to also say...

When I'm not depressed I forget what being depressed is like.  I have been guilty of saying similar things to other people, like choose to do something fun and you'll be happy.  I remember a couple of years ago I was freaking out crying because I had told my friend I'd go to NY with her but got depressed and can't.  She asked me if I have always had a problem with depression.  At the time I felt insulted and said "no, I'm not always depressed, I'm usually happy."  If it keeps happening to me, something isn't right...I always blamed the circumstances of my life on my mood but I think its my mood influencing my thinking more than anything.  I found this out by reading my entire journal.


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## Chain Lightning

In contrast to the title of my thread... I woke up Tuesday and now everything is great.    The meeting at the lawyers office went very well, he even said so.

I also went to a therapist for the first time today, here's the thread for that:
http://forum.psychlinks.ca/general-support-and-advice/18648-went-to-my-first-appointment-today.html#post139282


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