# How do you get your life back?



## Cat Dancer (Nov 18, 2008)

When you've given up on everything you once cared about how do you get back to caring? What if you're just a big bundle of sorrow and pain?


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## Jazzey (Nov 18, 2008)

Hi Cat Dancer,

I wanted to tell you I'm sorry you're having a bad day.  I'll try to give you advice, I want to give you advice - but I'm not good at following.  So, I'll just tell you what I'm slowwwly learning (on minute at a time).

I appreciate the small moments during the day:  the sound of children laughing and being carefree, the smile of a colleague who seems genuinely happy to cross paths with you in the hallway, your neighbors' dog that runs up to get unconditional love as you treck to your home, the smell of a homemade meal, a kind person at the grocery store who lets you go ahead because they recognize that you have fewer groceries than they do....I really just look at all of these small incidents during the day and focus on those for the time being.  When a negative thought intrudes on me, I recall those small pictures.

I know that my advice isn't much right now but, I at least wanted you to know that I'm sending you "positive vibes".

So here are three more positive images from my day today:  A kitten in one of those portable kennels (I don't remember how to say in English) who purred away as I scratched his chin, a co-worker's daughter (4 years old) who ran up to me at the end of the day and insisted on a hug from me, and finally, a bouquet of flowers left anonymously on my desk to welcome me back to work....

When I focus on these little gestures, I can get back to remembering what I love.


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## Cat Dancer (Nov 18, 2008)

Thanks, Jazzey. Your advice is very good and helps me think about the things that make/made me happy at one time. I really appreciate you taking the time to answer me and help me. Thank you again.


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## Into The Light (Nov 18, 2008)

it's one step at a time, as cliche as it sounds. talking to us is a step you can take and that is what you just did :hug:

i am sorry you are hurting so much right now. i wish i could take the pain away from you somehow.


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## NicNak (Nov 18, 2008)

My doctor always said "itty bitty baby steps"  When I got down about "picking up the pieces" and the pase I was doing, I would remind myself of that.  Like Into The Light said, one step at a time.

I would do my best to "get out there" and find things that made me happy.  I love the lake every time of the year.  I see different migrations of birds in the winter, the fall colours are beautiful and in the spring and summer it is nice to see the mist flow in off the lake.

All the little things.  And like Jazzey says, the animals always make me smile.  The cute expessions on their faces (cats and dogs) and even the funny movements the pigeons make.  I just love it as silly as it sounds, but hey!  What ever makes me happy.

Sorry to hear your feeling down.  Hope you feel better soon.


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## Sparrow (Nov 18, 2008)

Hi CatDancer 


> When you've given up on everything you once cared about how do you get back to caring?


With Love and Trust.



> What if you're just a big bundle of sorrow and pain?


With Hope and Patience.


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## Cat Dancer (Nov 18, 2008)

Thanks, everybody. I appreciate all the advice. It's good advice. I need to take baby steps to get back on track. I am hurting badly and I need to find something else to focus on. I have a lot of work to do around the house. I need to take little baby steps and work on it.

But I also need to find some fun in my life. I have been so depressed lately that everything seems dull and lifeless. Plus, having a miscarriage, an early one, has really put me into a dark place. 

Today, my little girl just sat on my lap and kissed me and hugged me and told me she loved me and that just warmed my heart and made my day. So I have to focus on things like that. 

I've been feeling rather worthless lately, but I guess I'm not worthless to her.


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## Jazzey (Nov 18, 2008)

> But I also need to find some fun in my life.



I like hearing you say this Cat Dancer - it's a good sign.  I hope that you're feeling better very soon and that you're able to set aside the feelings of worthlessness.  I'm pretty certain you're not worthless

Take good care of yourself and enjoy those wonderful, affectionate moments with your daughter!


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## Cat Dancer (Nov 18, 2008)

Thanks a lot, Jazzey.


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## white page (Nov 19, 2008)

> Today, my little girl just sat on my lap and kissed me and hugged me and told me she loved me and that just warmed my heart and made my day. So I have to focus on things like that.
> 
> I've been feeling rather worthless lately, but I guess I'm not worthless to her.
> Reply With Quote



Cat Dancer:hug:
I am so sorry that you are in a sad place , I wish I could take your pain away ,
Hang onto that hug from your little girl , for her you are the most wonderful person in the world , the person to turn to, the person to trust , the person to hug and to kiss.  For her you are a Glorious Princess, I understand deeply how the sense of your own value has been shaken so badly ,but  think of all the daily little miracles that you have achieved , and all the little miracles that come your way each day . a sparkle of sunshine. the gestures of love that you give and recieve , be gentle with yourself,  as gentle as you are with your little girl .

take care WP


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## Cat Dancer (Nov 19, 2008)

Thanks, White Page.  

I'm still struggling with those baby steps. Not giving up yet though.


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