# This site... a hopeful new beginning



## waving_hands (Sep 1, 2005)

hello to all of you. my name is sylvia ,.why have i joined this site?well, it's a sort of substitute for a goal.it's a motivation.it's something new and i felt i needed something new.i really hope i can help some of you with my sharings on life and even get  help when i need it.my life is just starting now, and i mean my real life, with real responsabilities and stuff...so i'm a bit nervous about it and i really hope i can cope with this life.in conclusion, it's nice to meet  you all !


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## waving_hands (Sep 1, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

hello to all of you. my name is sylvia ,.why have i joined this site?well, it's a sort of substitute for a goal.it's a motivation.it's something new and i felt i needed something new.i really hope i can help some of you with my sharings on life and even get  help when i need it.my life is just starting now, and i mean my real life, with real responsabilities and stuff...so i'm a bit nervous about it and i really hope i can cope with this life.in conclusion, it's nice to meet  you all !


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## David Baxter PhD (Sep 1, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Welcome, waving_hands. It's nice to meet you too... )


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## David Baxter PhD (Sep 1, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Welcome, waving_hands. It's nice to meet you too... )


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## waving_hands (Sep 1, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

hello david!as you are a psychologist, i was wondering...how should a psychologist be, as a person , i mean, what qualities should he/she have?i would like to go and study psychology and become a very good one.please if u have any suggestions or , i don't know, some books to suggest or some sort of test that i should take to see if i have it in me.thanx again


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## waving_hands (Sep 1, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

hello david!as you are a psychologist, i was wondering...how should a psychologist be, as a person , i mean, what qualities should he/she have?i would like to go and study psychology and become a very good one.please if u have any suggestions or , i don't know, some books to suggest or some sort of test that i should take to see if i have it in me.thanx again


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## David Baxter PhD (Sep 1, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

I think the best starting place is to tale a course or two at the university level and see if it interests you. There are different areas of psychology, so the required character traits and interpersonal style might be different for different areas.

What I look for in clinical psychology students is genuine empathy and interest in other people, the ability to, as Adler said, "see with the eyes of another, hear with the ears of another, feel with the heart of another". If you lack that, you'll probably not make a very good clinician. If you have those attributes, and you can learn the ability to compartmentalize sufficiently to protect yourself emotionally so you're not overwhelmed by the client's pain, the rest is really just gaining knowledge, information, and experience and acquring specific techniques and skills.


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## David Baxter PhD (Sep 1, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

I think the best starting place is to tale a course or two at the university level and see if it interests you. There are different areas of psychology, so the required character traits and interpersonal style might be different for different areas.

What I look for in clinical psychology students is genuine empathy and interest in other people, the ability to, as Adler said, "see with the eyes of another, hear with the ears of another, feel with the heart of another". If you lack that, you'll probably not make a very good clinician. If you have those attributes, and you can learn the ability to compartmentalize sufficiently to protect yourself emotionally so you're not overwhelmed by the client's pain, the rest is really just gaining knowledge, information, and experience and acquring specific techniques and skills.


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## ThatLady (Sep 2, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Hi, waving_hands. Welcome to the forums! :O)


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## ThatLady (Sep 2, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Hi, waving_hands. Welcome to the forums! :O)


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## Lana (Sep 3, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Welcome to the forum, waving_hands.


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## Lana (Sep 3, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Welcome to the forum, waving_hands.


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## ~EvaneScence~ (Sep 4, 2005)

*Re: this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Welcome Waving_Hands!!!  I'm new to this site too!  Nice to meet you....



			
				waving_hands said:
			
		

> hello to all of you. my name is sylvia ,.why have i joined this site?well, it's a sort of substitute for a goal.it's a motivation.it's something new and i felt i needed something new.i really hope i can help some of you with my sharings on life and even get  help when i need it.my life is just starting now, and i mean my real life, with real responsabilities and stuff...so i'm a bit nervous about it and i really hope i can cope with this life.in conclusion, it's nice to meet  you all !


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## ~EvaneScence~ (Sep 4, 2005)

*Re: this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Welcome Waving_Hands!!!  I'm new to this site too!  Nice to meet you....



			
				waving_hands said:
			
		

> hello to all of you. my name is sylvia ,.why have i joined this site?well, it's a sort of substitute for a goal.it's a motivation.it's something new and i felt i needed something new.i really hope i can help some of you with my sharings on life and even get  help when i need it.my life is just starting now, and i mean my real life, with real responsabilities and stuff...so i'm a bit nervous about it and i really hope i can cope with this life.in conclusion, it's nice to meet  you all !


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## comfortzone (Sep 4, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Hi Waving_hands! I too am new to this site. This site is so refreshing and energizing with the compassionate members.  There is a wealth of information here and the comforting words of good people.

I agree with David regarding getting into the field of psychology.  While I was attending graduate school I worked at the front desk where I met my fellow students regularly.  I was surprised by the number of students (all who were graduate students in psychology) could not say "hello" or even a nod as they entered the building.  My thought was "why can't some of these future psychologists greet someone at the front desk?"  My belief is that therapy begins at hello and that is where my concern was for these students.  I felt it was important to set the example so I greeted the students as they entered.  It is amazing how validating a simple hello can be as well as an excellent way of showing positive regard for others.

 I look for a psychologist to be empathetic, present and like David said, "interest in other people."  Best wishes for your future endeavors. I hope we all can be there for you along the way.


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## comfortzone (Sep 4, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Hi Waving_hands! I too am new to this site. This site is so refreshing and energizing with the compassionate members.  There is a wealth of information here and the comforting words of good people.

I agree with David regarding getting into the field of psychology.  While I was attending graduate school I worked at the front desk where I met my fellow students regularly.  I was surprised by the number of students (all who were graduate students in psychology) could not say "hello" or even a nod as they entered the building.  My thought was "why can't some of these future psychologists greet someone at the front desk?"  My belief is that therapy begins at hello and that is where my concern was for these students.  I felt it was important to set the example so I greeted the students as they entered.  It is amazing how validating a simple hello can be as well as an excellent way of showing positive regard for others.

 I look for a psychologist to be empathetic, present and like David said, "interest in other people."  Best wishes for your future endeavors. I hope we all can be there for you along the way.


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## sister-ray (Oct 12, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Sorry to post on someone elses conversation but I just wanted to say to Dr Bill Dobson, I agree about the "hello" it means so much, some Doctors cant even be bothered when you go to see them to look up , as you walk in the consulting room and say "hello" they are too busy looking at hteir computer screen to aknowledge your presence, that little word with some eye contact means so much, makes you feel wanted, makes you feel they are interested in you and want to listen to you.


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## sister-ray (Oct 12, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Sorry to post on someone elses conversation but I just wanted to say to Dr Bill Dobson, I agree about the "hello" it means so much, some Doctors cant even be bothered when you go to see them to look up , as you walk in the consulting room and say "hello" they are too busy looking at hteir computer screen to aknowledge your presence, that little word with some eye contact means so much, makes you feel wanted, makes you feel they are interested in you and want to listen to you.


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## Retired (Oct 12, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*



> I was surprised by the number of students (all who were graduate students in psychology) could not say "hello" or even a nod as they entered the building



A very interesting observation on the nature of people, especially health professionals!

I spent twenty five years calling on physicians from various specialties in my work, including psychiatry with some contact with psychologists.

My first interpretation for this behaviour was these people are basically intellectual scientists, absorbed in their thoughts, with undeveloped interpersonal skills.   One has to keep in mind, a person training in a health profession has spent most of their adult life to that point in studies in an academic environment without much contact with secular life.

It appears many people in the health professions are basically shy, and making direct eye contact feel intimidating.

Finally some people in the health professions suffer from the "thank you doctor" syndrome where they are so accustomed to people being so grateful for their professional expertise, that they forget they are one of the "ordinary people" and develop inflated ego's.

This does not mean they are malicious or bad people, and when they work with a patient, their professional training, hopefully allows them to be compassionate and objective.

I found by understanding what I interpreted as the "psychology of health professionals" assisted me in my professional dealings with the profession.

Would be interested in the interpretations of these behaviors from others![/quote]


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## Retired (Oct 12, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*



> I was surprised by the number of students (all who were graduate students in psychology) could not say "hello" or even a nod as they entered the building



A very interesting observation on the nature of people, especially health professionals!

I spent twenty five years calling on physicians from various specialties in my work, including psychiatry with some contact with psychologists.

My first interpretation for this behaviour was these people are basically intellectual scientists, absorbed in their thoughts, with undeveloped interpersonal skills.   One has to keep in mind, a person training in a health profession has spent most of their adult life to that point in studies in an academic environment without much contact with secular life.

It appears many people in the health professions are basically shy, and making direct eye contact feel intimidating.

Finally some people in the health professions suffer from the "thank you doctor" syndrome where they are so accustomed to people being so grateful for their professional expertise, that they forget they are one of the "ordinary people" and develop inflated ego's.

This does not mean they are malicious or bad people, and when they work with a patient, their professional training, hopefully allows them to be compassionate and objective.

I found by understanding what I interpreted as the "psychology of health professionals" assisted me in my professional dealings with the profession.

Would be interested in the interpretations of these behaviors from others![/quote]


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 12, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*



> intellectual scientists, absorbed in their thoughts, with undeveloped interpersonal skills


In some organizations, that's actually the job description... )


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 12, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*



> intellectual scientists, absorbed in their thoughts, with undeveloped interpersonal skills


In some organizations, that's actually the job description... )


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## comfortzone (Oct 12, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Thanks Through-These-Eyes!

Steve...the thing that is interesting is I used to be one very shy boy.  I hid behind my mother until I outgrew her (she is less than 5 foot tall).  I agree with you aboug the "thank you doctor" syndrome.  However, the way I handle this experience is with "you are welcome."  The interesting thing about my education is that life provided me with some very important lessons prior to when my college education began.  I have a curiosity regarding people in general...I want to learn what it was and is like for them in their lives.  Then my hope is that through the experience of the therapeutic relationship the person will be in a far better place to bring change to their life in a positive and healthy way.


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## comfortzone (Oct 12, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*

Thanks Through-These-Eyes!

Steve...the thing that is interesting is I used to be one very shy boy.  I hid behind my mother until I outgrew her (she is less than 5 foot tall).  I agree with you aboug the "thank you doctor" syndrome.  However, the way I handle this experience is with "you are welcome."  The interesting thing about my education is that life provided me with some very important lessons prior to when my college education began.  I have a curiosity regarding people in general...I want to learn what it was and is like for them in their lives.  Then my hope is that through the experience of the therapeutic relationship the person will be in a far better place to bring change to their life in a positive and healthy way.


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## Retired (Oct 12, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*



> In some organizations, that's actually the job description...



{ROTFL}

Of course I was not generalizing, and while working, I developed some very dear relationships with many of the people I dealt with professionally.  



> The interesting thing about my education is that life provided me with some very important lessons prior to when my college education began



In my view, therein lies the key, where professionals who had exposure to other perspectives seemed to have a better overall ability to relate in non professional situations.

During my working career I was always fascinated by the way people related to one another and  working in a sales capacity one has to make an instant evaluation about the client, in order to present the information in a manner they are most likely to receive it.

Another dimension to the mindset of many professionals, which fascinates me is that their identity is so closely associated to their work, making retirement virtually impossible.

Those of us who planned to exit the workforce at a relatively early age to enjoy life with our spouse and go on to other interests find this way of thinking difficult to understand.


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## Retired (Oct 12, 2005)

*this site...a hopeful new beginning*



> In some organizations, that's actually the job description...



{ROTFL}

Of course I was not generalizing, and while working, I developed some very dear relationships with many of the people I dealt with professionally.  



> The interesting thing about my education is that life provided me with some very important lessons prior to when my college education began



In my view, therein lies the key, where professionals who had exposure to other perspectives seemed to have a better overall ability to relate in non professional situations.

During my working career I was always fascinated by the way people related to one another and  working in a sales capacity one has to make an instant evaluation about the client, in order to present the information in a manner they are most likely to receive it.

Another dimension to the mindset of many professionals, which fascinates me is that their identity is so closely associated to their work, making retirement virtually impossible.

Those of us who planned to exit the workforce at a relatively early age to enjoy life with our spouse and go on to other interests find this way of thinking difficult to understand.


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