# Top 15 Phrases You're Least Likely To See In Your Company's Annual Report



## ladylore (Nov 28, 2007)

Top 15 Phrases You're Least...

1.  As you can see from this graph, smart people will be pulling their money out of this company faster than you can say NASDAQ. 

2.  Since you bought shares after reading our unbelievable prospectus, we realize that you're gullible enough to believe anything else we tell you. 

3.  Due to the incredible clarity of our page-long mission statement, our company has solved world-hunger, created a lasting peace on Earth and now all employees are intelligent, hardworking and happy in their jobs. 

4.  Our massive profits are due to the fact we are cheating our customers at every turn. 

5.  Sales were off this year, but our Returns department did a booming business. 

6.  Our employees are our greatest asset -- but we'll fire half of them if our stock drops a dollar. 

7.  Our rise in costs this year can be attributed to two things: 1) Keeping the thermostat too high this winter and 2) Poor management. Next year, we pledge to turn the thermostat down. 

8.  Staff turnover of 50% in a month has given the development department a new sense of focus and fresh ideas. 

9.  Despite all of the recent layoffs, employee morale is at its highest... 

10. ... and a record number of resumes went out the door during the first quarter. 

11. We are currently producing nothing, we currently have no orders to produce anything, and we don't expect any orders for the rest of this fiscal year. Hurry, buy our stock while it still has a value that can be measured. 

12. Corporate directors will take a pay cut to avoid layoffs. 

13. A recent survey showed that large North American Moose don't make good drivers and spend less than other consumers, especially on electrical goods. 

14. This year we have the same profit margin as last year, and we're happy with that. We decided last year's goal to triple our already multi-million dollar annual was really kind of greedy. 

15. We're really sorry.


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## Retired (Nov 28, 2007)

Good stuff, Ladylore.  Sounds like what we should have seen in some very recent Annual Reports


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## ladylore (Nov 28, 2007)

> 13. A recent survey showed that large North American Moose don't make good drivers and spend less than other consumers, especially on electrical goods.



One of my favorites. 

And yes - I like lists.


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