# Depression eliminates everything you once were.



## forgetmenot (May 3, 2019)

Hard depression takes away person you once were.  Two family members more or less stated i sit around all day and do nothing omg. I try so hard to do what i can support them even when i am so down  i try  i try to keep place up i try  and get meal on for them.  Just hurts so much to be attacked with those words  Do they not know i already see myself as being no one useless i do not need them to reinforce it.  Anwyas got supper ready to go on again it seems somedays that is all i can do ya and supporting a daughter no one else will help but even to her i am nothing.   I just wish i could find that someone that had it all together or was able to al least fuction fully.  I hate me more then they will ever know i hate not be able to work i just can't i tired i really did try oh well.  sorry just hurts maybe one day i will be me again maybe.


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## David Baxter PhD (May 3, 2019)

Sadly, there is still a great deal of ignorance and misunderstanding about many (most) mental health conditions.

People who have never struggled with depression, or anxiety, or OCD, etc., really have no conception at all of what it is like to struggle with those issues every day and every waking hour of your life.

"Just get out and go for a walk. You'll feel better."

No. I won't. Not when I'm in the depths of depression where getting out of bed to go to the bathroom or brush my teeth or get a drink of water is a major accomplishment. Don't you think I would do that if I could?

"Just get over it. Let it go."

"Stop worrying so much."

Don't you think I would love to be able to do that?

I know that many, perhaps most of the people who say these things probably mean well.

But I wish people could understand that they do not help in any way, they are hurtful, and all they do is further decrease self-esteem and further increase self-loathing.


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## Daniel (May 3, 2019)

> even when i am so down i try i try to keep place up i try and get meal on for them.


Reminds me of the "traditional" Thanksgiving dinners where the women are doing everything (from shopping, to cooking, to cleanup) and the men are sitting around watching football.  



> supporting a daughter no one else will help


They finally have ads on TV now trying to make caregiving seem more acceptable for men to do:

Tougher than Tough: 60 | Caregiver Assistance | Ad Council - YouTube


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## GaryQ (May 4, 2019)

It's definitely not easy dealing with people. The snide remarks or comments. Pretty much why I isolate myself so much from everyone and everything. Nit good but safer.

Hang in there FMN they don't know what they are talking about and you are not useless or a nothing. You took care of your mom, you take care of your hubby and your daughter so try and remember that. Hugs


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## forgetmenot (May 4, 2019)

When i looked after ma omg i was useful i was seen anyways as that  now she is gone i am told i do nothing all  day ya right.

 i get up and i try so hard to just get out of my surrounding so i don't stay in bed all day.

  i know i am not um productive i guess that is the word i feel like no one.

   Yes it hurts when they just don't understand that surviving that just being takes so much energy. 

 If i had no one here daughter, son, grandchildren i would be gone but i do not want this trait to be passed on to them.

 i don't want them to see suicide as an answer  as a way out.  I know i do know i am not what i was and i would do anything to just be that someone again but my brain  just have to not listen and to know that just staying here is my job now is to just not depart no matter how much my brain tells me to do so.

Sorry just so much going on right now  so many triggers  i guess i am overly sensitive to words right now


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## Bumblebean (May 8, 2019)

:hug:


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