# Locations



## Marcel (Dec 19, 2010)

I was looking for any advice on how to deal with negative thoughts that are triggered when you regularly have to go by a location where someone committed suicide.  Thanks in advance for any suggestions you might have.


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## forgetmenot (Dec 19, 2010)

Thats hard Marcel  i get triggered as well when this happens   All the negative thoughts come into play your right.  I try deep breathing  looking around keeping me grounding to where i am. but the thoughts how does one replace all those negative thoughts.   Perhaps by replacing them with happier ones of the person that has left try remembering them that way 
I am interested in what others say here as it would help to know what to do as well.  take care.


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## CarlaMarie (Dec 19, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss. What I have to do when I am triggered is focus real hard on the here and now sometimes I even have to go so far as my feet are on concrete and my hands are in my pockets. Then later I talk about, write about, or process what I was thinking and feeling.


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## forgetmenot (Dec 19, 2010)

Just wanted to add Marcel when the triggers the thoughts are bad you need to call someone okay connect to someone that will keep you safe  please as these thoughts and emotion i know can be very strong so have a plan in place okay if the thoughts take you to a bad place have a number ready to call okay and use it.  I am being selfish yes but please i need to know that you will keep you safe okay.


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## Yuray (Dec 19, 2010)

Is it possible to take another route?


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## David Baxter PhD (Dec 19, 2010)

How have you been trying to cope so far? And what is it that happens for you when you pass this location?


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## Marcel (Dec 19, 2010)

Yuray said:


> Is it possible to take another route?


Sometimes I forget to take the other (longer) route because I am thinking about other things until - bang - I am at that location and it hits me in the face and stops all other thoughts.  Sometimes I go that way on purpose because I want to think about what happened.



David Baxter said:


> How have you been trying to cope so far?


I just tell myself "you should really stop thinking about this" - which of course works wonders   Similar to "don't think about a pink elephant".  Hey - I said don't think about one.



David Baxter said:


> And what is it that happens for you when you pass this location?


In great detail, I visualize (as if I had been there watching it all) the days leading up to the event, the event itself, the effect on the families in the days after the event and then on what the person has missed and avoided during all the time that has passed since the event.


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## David Baxter PhD (Dec 19, 2010)

Marcel said:


> In great detail, I visualize (as if I had been there watching it all) the days leading up to the event, the event itself, the effect on the families in the days after the event and then on what the person has missed and avoided during all the time that has passed since the event.


 
Do you make an effort NOT to allow yourself to do this? If so, what happens?


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## Marcel (Dec 19, 2010)

David Baxter said:


> Do you make an effort NOT to allow yourself to do this?



No, not really.  I will try to do that in the future.


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## David Baxter PhD (Dec 19, 2010)

Marcel said:


> No, not really. I will try to do that in the future.


 
Pay attention to what happens when you do. Does it make you feel anxious? depressed? angry? restless?


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