# Don't really like people



## AmZ (Jul 31, 2012)

I can honestly say that I don't like people. I don't expect them to be perfect, neither do I expect myself to be perfect. There's always something with someone. Pathetically acting on a power trip, seemingly just trying to be difficult on purpose. 

If the answer that it's me with the problem then screw the darn world, I'll go it alone.


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## Retired (Jul 31, 2012)

> screw the darn world, I'll go it alone.



That should work well for you if you plan to live alone on an island.  

Why are you so angry with all us humans today?  How have we failed you?



> I can honestly say that I don't like people.



How do you feel about yourself?


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## AmZ (Jul 31, 2012)

Can't even bring myself to start the conversation. Nearly everyone is driving me insane. The nurse is on a complete and utter power trip and making things difficult just to be difficult. 

Then I've got my roommate screaming on her mobile phone at 12am, I asked her nicely (maybe that's my problem) to not speak on the phone in the room, gave her another 5 minutes and she was still shouting her head off. So I went to the nurses office and they straight away went to the room and told her off. I came back to the room and she pushed me in to a corner and said how dare I get her in trouble. Screw her. 

Physically sick this morning, don't know from what it was but I vomited twice and was feeling very bad. The head nurse would not let me back in to my room to lay down and relax and feel better. We're talking about 2 hours here. So I said, and I don't normally argue, that this is ridiculous. She said 'then just go to the head psychiatrists office' ok -- went there, waited 20 minutes to see him. He said there is a GP working today so get the nurses to call him and come to check me.  He came, checked me, said to go and lay down until lunchtime (was already 30 minutes before lunchtime now anyway!) and gave me  Pramin. 

More examples but that's enough for now. 

And I just feel like everyone is just too concerned with their own lives to give a damn about anyone else's. It's like GO IT ALONE because nobody else is going to really help you. Only mr medication maybe if you're lucky. 

And how do I feel about myself? That's a two sided thing. I think a decent person in general. I don't push people in to corners or try to use scare tactics.  On the other hand, I'm probably just seen in the eyes of others how I see them. Bloody idiots!!!


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## heatherly (Aug 1, 2012)

Perhaps you have not found the right kind of people. Roommates can be horrible, but a good roommate, one who respects you can be a godsend.

I know of a person who continuallly says, "People are no darn good." The more you say that, the more you believe it, and the more isolated you become.


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## AmZ (Aug 1, 2012)

I feel like I want isolation but then I just go off on self-destructive/harming acts because it messes me up. And deep down inside, I'm unhappy with no human contact. I'm really trying to have friends and be friendly with people but it's always like I'm giving and they're taking. And that's it. 

Def the roommates in the hospital are not the kind of friends I would like to have. Driving me crazy. Always asking where I'm going and what I'm doing. 

So I'm going to the mall tomorrow and my ex-care worker who finished working there last week just called me and asked about meeting up. I don't know why I always do this but I said I'd meet her in the mall, as we were going through the options and I says yes. But I don't want to! Grr. She calls on a blocked number so I have no way of cancelling her.


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## Banned (Aug 1, 2012)

AmZ said:


> And deep down inside, I'm unhappy with no human contact.



Humans are social creatures.  We cannot thrive or survive without human contact.   



AmZ said:


> Always asking where I'm going and what I'm doing.



Depending on their motive, this may be an act of caring or concern.  Can you give them the benefit of the doubt?



AmZ said:


> . She calls on a blocked number so I have no way of cancelling her.



Note to self for next time: get a number you can call her at in case plans change, which they do.


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Aug 1, 2012)

Sometimes I hate people, too, AmZ.  

It seems you have some unfortunate roommates, that's for sure.  Hopefully they will move on soon enough.  

Is there any way you could discuss a meeting for you and your shouting roommate?  You could ask a nurse or counselor (who you have informed of the problem) to be present to mediate while you lay down some healthy boundaries?  

"(Room mate's name), I need my sleep, as I start to have issues with my health when I miss sleep.  Please take your phone calls outside somewhere or else make them at reasonable hours of the day.  If this doesn't happen I will have to do something to help myself sleep.  I am sure if you were trying to sleep, you would think it was reasonable to complain to someone if another person was keeping you awake.  I asked you nicely the first time, and you didn't listen, so I felt I had no choice but to complain to someone.  If you behave violently toward someone who is only taking reasonable measures to stand up for herself, you aren't going to be here very long, because violence in unacceptable." 

Or something like that...  Write it down if you want.  But if you give that to her, still have a nurse or staff member there...


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## AmZ (Aug 2, 2012)

The care workers don't give out their numbers. So I had to text my roommate to ask her to get the care worker who was working last night to call me, then I told her I need to cancel and she said she'd call the ex-care worker to tell her that I can't meet with her. I'm really not going. 

Maybe I can give them the benefit of the doubt - I'm trying to think differently about things when they do this kind of thing. 

Yep. We need social contact to survive otherwise we'd go crazy and lose the plot. Just gotta find the right people to be with I guess.

I hear you Jolly. That's a good idea. I think though that we've said that at 10pm, it's the cut off point for the light being on abd talking in the room. Problem is, both extremes are causing problems with this. One wants to turn all the lights off and nobody talk from 6.30pm which is ridiculous. She ONLY goes to sleep at 10pm when they give the sleep meds out. Another wants complete darkness and silence from 8pm. Then me and two others that go to bed after 10pm want to stick all of this to 10pm. But two of those go way over and last night, had the lights on
and talking out loud until 1:15am. Slightly pushing it!

Anyway with what's been going on here, I haven't really got the strength to put up a fight so lastly night I laid in blackness and silence from 6.30pm-1am.


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