# What does crying do for you?



## David Baxter PhD

What does crying do for you? 
_BPS Research Digest_
September 24, 2008

Nearly all of us cry sometimes. But what makes us cry, how often we do it, and how it makes us feel varies hugely from person to person. According to Jonathan Rottenberg and colleagues, crying in general, and particularly how crying makes us feel, are surprisingly under-researched aspects of human behaviour.

Rottenberg's team asked 196 adult Dutch women (aged between 17 and 84 years) to answer questions about their personalities, their mental health, their propensity for crying and how crying made them feel.

Consistent with past research, people who reported being more neurotic, extravert and/or empathic tended to cry more often and more easily. The research was correlational, so it's not clear if having these personality types leads to more crying, or if crying more contributes to these personality types. Perhaps surprisingly, mental health, in terms of reported depression, anxiety and so forth, was not associated with how often or easily people said they cried.

When it came to the effects of crying, the pattern was the other way round. Aspects of personality were not associated with how the participants said crying made them feel, but mental health was. While the majority of the participants (88.8 per cent) said that crying brought them relief, a minority, especially those with depression, anxiety, anhedonia (a loss of the ability to experience pleasure), and/or alexithymia (a difficulty expressing or processing emotions), said that crying left them feeling worse or just the same.

The researchers said more work was needed to find out why crying brings relief to some people but not others. "Currently there is only anecdotal evidence that learning how to cry and how to derive positive effects from it could help people who are having difficulty expressing sadness or crying," they wrote.

Source: J ROTTENBERG, L BYLSMA, V WOLVIN, A VINGERHOETS (2008). Tears of sorrow, tears of joy: An individual differences approach to crying in Dutch females.  _Personality and Individual Differences_, 45 (5), 367-372


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## sunset

Interesting... I know when I cry, I am usually very sad, scared or angry. Emotions definately come into play here. It is a release and I usually do feel better after crying.
Sometimes I try not to cry when I am trying to be strong for others, but then it comes out in another way and I usually get panic attacks or sick. I think I would rather just cry.


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## BluMac81

Indeed very interesting article.  Crying always makes me feel better, and have anxiety disorders, so perhaps an opposite of that minority of those suffering from disorders in which crying makes them fill worse.  I rarely cry though, and when I do its like a break down during a panic attack, and acts as a sedative in a way.  Otherwise I very minorly when moved by a particular movie or show (like 'The Passion of the Christ' movie or 'House' tv show), which is not negative crying but fully feeling, and it feels good.

I wonder why that study only included women?  There is still that stigma at there that grown men should not cry?  Perhaps men holding back their tears is what causes more men in prison for crimes....  just a thought.


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## Meg

I heard somewhere (and I can't remember where, so it could be very wrong!) that crying releases a hormone that is responsible for the production of the stress hormones that are associated with physiological stress responses.  When it gets washed out, production of the hormone decreases, and you feel better.  It's a kind of homeostatic process.  

If that's true, it made me wonder whether the reason that people who have depression have their levels of this hormone kind of 're-set' to be higher than normal, and that's why crying doesn't really help.  Random thought.  

I also wondered whether another reason that people with depression were more likely to feel the same or worse would be that they could be more likely to judge themselves for crying, perhaps seeing it as weak, or as evidence that their life is not what they would like it to be.

I have been trying for an hour to find a reputable source to inform me about this stress hormone theory, but have had very little luck.  If anyone else knows about it, I would love to hear it just to satisfy my own curiosity!


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## Into The Light

i have heard / read the same thing meg. no idea where though. crying releases stress.


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## Noughts

...Up till now, I've always thought that crying made people feel the same, or worse. Interesting...

Yep; I'm part of the minority. I used to feel a little happier when I cried, but that's because I had a friend with me... Nowadays, I usually feel _a lot worse _after crying, and then I try to numb myself out. And after that, I start falling asleep...

...I've probably associated crying with being alone (because I've associated crying with calling for help, which to me means "futile" and "vain" since there's no one to help you when you cry...), so perhaps that's why I feel worse. Because I'm alone... All those other people, they probably have it registered in their mind that crying brings comfort (from other people). I bet that's why...

Of course, these are all just random thoughts.


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## BluMac81

Crying is a form of 'giving up the fight', and for those crying due to panic/anxiety, that 'giving up fighting' is exactly what is needed to calm yourself down.


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## Noughts

_I dunno, man_. When babies cry, it seems like they're _far off_ from _giving up anything_.  :laughs: This is (a simplified version of) what I see:

Crying = I'm sad.
I'm sad because of: a stressor.
Sad people = usually bad.
Happy people = usually good.
Happy = relief.
Relief = Pats on back and emotional support.


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## Meggylou

crying hurts me, physically.
I find I still feel sad afterwards. Sometimes though I do need to get it out.
Babies cry because it's a survival mechanism for them, it allows them to get the care they need by drawing attention to themselves.
I cry privately if I can, and I know my tear triggers. Last night after thinking a little bit (we had caught 2 mice since the night before in live traps) I was worried that there might be baby mice somewhere and I got sad. I'm a real animal lover. Hubby though rationalised with me and helped to realize that we would hear them....I heard them when a mom had them in a friends car and we had to save them and take them to the vet...they grew up to be cute little deermice who went to live at the local science centre to have a happy life. 
I cry for anger, I cry for sadness and I cry for frustration, but usually I don't cry at all.


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## cmueller

Interesting that the study only focused on women....


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## kimmy

I think that crying is a form of stress release, so many people say they feel better after crying


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## Shifter

I always feel a lot better after crying as well. And I find that when I'm trying to hold it in (if someone can see me or in public) then I have to hold my breath and I can't hold it for that long So I usually end up crying anyway and sometimes at inopportune moments...


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## Into The Light

i recently found out it gives me a headache! and not quite the relief i seem to remember.


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## NicNak

Crying always makes me feel worse actually.  I don't get much relief from it cause I just burst into tears almost suddenly.  Sometimes I am embarassed, other times I almost get a minor manic episode with crying.   I usually go have a nice warm bath to try and calm down.


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## Eye Stigmata

I think there are different forms of crying...
I mean...I cry when I'm sad, but sometimes I cry out of extreme joy too.
I think crying is healthy for everyone, it means your releasing something, some form or pain, sadness, or joy.

Atleast it is for me


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## Halo

I am with you ITL...it gives me a headache and puffy eyes and that is about it.  Not much relief at all


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## imans

i think crying is considered as positive expression, in what it allows to reveal the value of self reality that is due to existence absolute value, animals dont cry even when the worse is happening to them but maybe humans do because they are aware of themselves that love and support should be around and not fake images of existing beings strong on a ground 

other than that, crying say mostly the unability to be positive in living the positive lost to self so it cant be positive of it effect when you got to be more aware of what is not there


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## DaveMarrow

BluMac81 said:


> Crying is a form of 'giving up the fight', and for those crying due to panic/anxiety, that 'giving up fighting' is exactly what is needed to calm yourself down.



Yes, sort of. Crying is a natural human emotion - not just to give up the fight - but to release a lot of _stuff_ that is pent up inside.

Laughter can often serve the same purpose. :funny:


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## imans

i disagree on those ways to put opposites together as one, this is devils acts to kick existing truths below their spirit that say it all 

laughing is for yourself what you are not concerned really about anything you are doing or superficially involve with 

crying is for yourself real cares in existence from what you are existing yourself


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