# Obsessively jealous of stepson



## wickedstepmother (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi everyone, 

I have a feeling this jealousy story will be different than most... I'm not jealous of any women in my husband's life -- I'm jealous of my stepson. In brief, my stepson is now 16 and lives with us for the most part. Recently he's become an honours student and has started a rock band with some friends. One of the friends' father owns a recording studio and has connections in the music world. OK, here's the insane, irrational jealousy part: I am pathologically jealous of my stepson's success. On some primitive level, I fear that his success will make my husband value him more than the two kids we share together. I wish my stepson the best, but I DON"T WANT HIM TO DO BETTER THAN MY KIDS! I've always valued academics and music, and to see my stepson unexpectedly excelling in these areas is killing me. I always hoped that * I * would be the one to offer music to my husband via our children (who are, in fact, very musical, but they're still young). I'm fully aware of how crazy this must sound. Imagine being jealous of a stepson's success! But my feelings are very real, and are sometimes crippling. I HATE feeling this way. I wish I knew how to "rewire" myself so I didn't have these anxiety reactions every time my stepson has another success. I'm currently on antidepressants and undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy in an effort to handle/overcome the feelings. In the meantime, ANY insights at all would be greatly appreciated. 

WSM


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## David Baxter PhD (Nov 22, 2004)

Is any of your therapy addressing where this insecurity comes from? Your self-esteem, the relationship with your husband, the dynamics of your relationship with your stepson, the dynamics of your relationship with your own family, etc.? I think it should be, at least eventually...

Do you have anxieties or obsessive thoughts about other things in your life?

_(Note: I'm not sure where this thread would be most appropriate but I transferred it here for now from the OCD category because it seemed to be more of a relationships issue -- Admin)_


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