# Changes



## Ashley-Kate (May 29, 2011)

After long consideration and evaluation how i have been doing for the past 3 weeks i have come to terms with the need for more help and probably medicaiton. I will be seeing the psychiatrist i don't like this thursday with the psychologist i was seeing before her that i trust i think i will mention the possibility of going back on medication. I don't know if the psychologist is going to decide to keep therapie with me I have no idea what will happen thursday but i hope they will offer me therapie and help. I am still very much depressed i am a lot less suicidal i gues sit was soe kind of survival instinct that came in. I am going back to work tomorrow full time i realise now that that was proably the worst decision i made in the last 3 weeks, knowing very well that i am not ready to go back i was just looking for something that would force me to have a routine and to be alive every day i needed something that required my presence.  I am going to decide next week or the fallowing week if i should take less hours at work and only go back part time.  I just wanted to let you all know that i have come to terms with my "not wanting" medication and i have realised that although i don'T trust it will work i am going to let it have a chance because i really have nothing to lose at this point.


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (May 29, 2011)

*Re: changes.*

Hey that's awesome!  It's awesome you tried out a few things yourself first, just to see what you felt like and what happened.  Good to hear you are taking charge!  8)
And that's a great idea seeing both doctors together at the same time!


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## forgetmenot (May 29, 2011)

*Re: changes.*

I am glad too you are opening up all avenues to help you Ashley Kate  the more doors open the better chance you will have of getting stability in you life   You deserve that  stability and happiness  good for you for being so brave  hugs


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## Ashley-Kate (May 29, 2011)

thank you all.   I have my first day back to work tomorro I will then know if i am rushing into it too fast or if it is good for me to be back in a routine. in any case i will see what is best for me. at the moment i am nervous and i don't thini i am ready to go back full time but i wil try this first week and i will be able to make my decision accrodingly.


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## forgetmenot (May 30, 2011)

Structure can be good Ashley-Kate it keeps ones mind busy and occupied.  Work has always kept me in the present tense so to speak   I do hope you find it helps  you as well.  hugs

---------- Post added at 04:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:47 AM ----------

Hope your first day back to work went well and you found some enjoyment and  benefit to being back there.  hugs


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## forgetmenot (Jun 1, 2011)

How are you  doing Ashley-Kate  do you find the work helping some hugs


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## Ashley-Kate (Jun 1, 2011)

Well work is helping i guess to get out of the house helps lots but i find it very exhausting. I guess i am not used to spending so much time outside. being with people interacting is exhausting because i am still depressed and i don'T want them to see that so its hard to play the role of the hapy little girl. thankfully its nice and sunny lately so it helps me moraly..


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Jun 1, 2011)

Well, there _is_ the public persona or at work your professional persona... So what if you look deep in thought or a little sad?  Maybe someone might ask how you're doing?  And you don't have to give your life story, just say, "Thank you for asking, I'm just working on some stuff in my life."  Or whatever you're safe with.  

Don't get me wrong, I am about 55% introverted and 45% extroverted, but at work I probably appear more like 90% extroverted...  Which is why I come home exhausted mentally.  I feel like extended social interactings or large gatherings sucks the life out of me, too.  I used to hate it when co-workers kept saying I was so cheerful all the time, but didn't want to listen to what REALLY was going on my life!  lol  That's obviously why you can't talk to your co-workers like you talk to your friends.  I'm a bit slow, but I do catch on eventually...


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## forgetmenot (Jun 1, 2011)

Hard to wear that mask i get that but you are doing good not isolating   Getting out being amongst people will help decrease your depression    Be yourself okay if you are sad then so be it  if the people around you cannot accept you as you are then that is their problem    Good for you for trying again   hugs


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## Ashley-Kate (Jun 3, 2011)

Hello , I had my appointment with the psychiatrist i don't like and my old psychologist today. The good news is that he is going to start therapie with me again next week on wednesday we are going to restart the evaluation seeings howi am more stabalised now and i am doing a bit better. I mentionned during the appointment once again that i didn't apreciate them at the hospital andi felt they lacked knowledge on what an eating disorder is and how to work correctly with a patient that has one. I also mentionned the medication possibility and well she simply told me i could check that with any doctor.  Simply didn't care basically she couldn't even remember what she had perscribed me and mentionned a bunch of different meds she thought i was on. She simply said she perscribes a lot of meds, so she can't quite remember what i was on I guess i judged her behavior on that aspect simply because i felt she was overly strong on medicating me and seemed to not realy care about my beliefs but only getting me a prescription.  I am simply happy i am not going back there.  I was a bit dissapointed in the hospital today. I took less hours at work next week so that should help me feel a bit better.


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## forgetmenot (Jun 3, 2011)

I am happy to hear you will be starting therapy again with the psychologist you trust.   I do hope you go to your doctor and discuss going back on meds to help keep your depression under bay 
  You can beat this Ashley-Kate and you are getting on top of things again that is good.  You are doing great to advocate for yourself  and to get treatment you need.   Looking after yourself taking less hours at work until you feel more stable all good moves.    Thanks for letting us know how your situation is improving for you    hugs.


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## adaptive1 (Jun 3, 2011)

Ashley, I admire your ability to perservere and not give up. You have gone back to face someone that you dont like and have been open to treatment methods that you are not sure about. I hope you can appreciate how brave that is. I do find you to be a courageous young woman.


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## David Baxter PhD (Jun 3, 2011)

I'm glad to hear that things are generally moving in a more positive direction for you, Ashley.


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## Ashley-Kate (Jun 5, 2011)

thank you , I see the psychologist on wednesday and i am really looking forward to starting therapie with him again.


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