# End of the line



## Steven_v (Mar 22, 2007)

i geuss iam posting here for a glimer of hope, but to be honest ive had enough and just want to let go


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## Into The Light (Mar 22, 2007)

*Re: end of the line*

there is always hope steven. what's happening right now? are you in contact with your doctor, your therapist?


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## Cat Dancer (Mar 22, 2007)

*Re: end of the line*

Yesterday I thought there was no hope either, but I kept holding on and things are better for me today. You have to hold on and get through the hard, tough times.

Please contact your doctor and therapist. They can help you too. 

I really do understand. Yesterday I wanted to not be here either and today I am glad I am alive.


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## Steven_v (Mar 22, 2007)

*Re: end of the line*

today i went and saw the head psych doctor at the hospital saw me (i useally see him). anyway after awhile of me not really saying much, he said about coming off of fluxotine and onto another drug. and i knew then it was gona be a waste of time (i said about 5 words in the whole sestion). he wrote down a quick plan to weeine me of fluxotine onto this other one, and to see him in 4 weeks. but i just thought whats the point the drugs just aint working iam on 5 different ones and ive been on god knows how many since i first went it hospital. so as soon as i left the building i put the papers in the trash, went home and told my mum (she holds onto my medicines), that it went alright and that he said just carry on with the meds iam already on (lying obviusly). i feel contented with finishing it to be honest, on my way back from the hospetal for instance i walked infront of (some intentionly) a few cars and i had no fear of them hitting/killing me. i felt really peacefull


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## Halo (Mar 22, 2007)

*Re: end of the line*

Steven,

I think that many of us can relate to being in that dark place where we just want to let go and don't see or have the strength to hang on.  I know I have been there myself as well but Janet it so right in that we have to hold on and get through the hard, tough times. I have been told so many times that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I just have to hold onto hope.

I think that contacting your doctor again and letting him know how you are feeling is the first step. He can only help you if you are honest with him and tell him how you are really doing.

Take care Steven and keep hanging on as hard as it is.
:hug:


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## Into The Light (Mar 22, 2007)

*Re: end of the line*

steven, even if you feel peaceful with the idea of death, try to remember that there are people who love you and your death would absolutely crush them. your pain might end but it will spread to all those people whose lives you touch. it would devastate them. their pain will be just as real as yours is. please reconsider, tell your mom the truth about today and have her accompany you to the doctor at the hospital to get your new prescription. the current meds may not be helping but the new ones may. don't give up just yet.


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## Steven_v (Mar 22, 2007)

*Re: end of the line*



ladybug said:


> steven, even if you feel peaceful with the idea of death, try to remember that there are people who love you and your death would absolutely crush them. your pain might end but it will spread to all those people whose lives you touch. it would devastate them. their pain will be just as real as yours is. please reconsider, tell your mom the truth about today and have her accompany you to the doctor at the hospital to get your new prescription. the current meds may not be helping but the new ones may. don't give up just yet.



it doesnt matter anymore


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## Cavi (Mar 22, 2007)

*Re: end of the line*

Steven...Like others here I've been exactly where your at...I felt like there was no hope, no change and you know what?...I've grown since than...Don't get me wrong, I struggle alot...But having your meds changed, may infact help you...I've been on many different meds (I've lost count, theres been so many) and I refused to take them again after my rage with Zoloft...But I bit the bullet and started Lexapro and I feel better...You CAN do this Steven...

this board is here to listen and support you and you can pm me anytime you want...Scream, cuss at me...whatever you need just do it...But please don't
do something to permanently hurt yourself...What if you try and it doesn't work and you end up _{{edit: in a permanent vegetative state}}_ the rest of your life?...

Steven think of something you like...no matter how small it seems, think about it...There is something beautiful in even small things...Your in a dark place and you think death will bring you peace...Find peace in something beautiful and live Steven...You can do this, one step at a time...I'm right here with you, just like all the other members...Were listening....RIMH

Yes it does matter...You matter!...Turn the dark thoughts around, you can do this!!...Challenge them...RIMH


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## sister-ray (Mar 22, 2007)

*Re: end of the line*

there is hope steven and it does matter , you matter , you are important, just hold on and get through this bad time, you will be in my thoughts tonight.


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## Into The Light (Mar 22, 2007)

*Re: end of the line*

it matters very much, even if you cannot see that right now. it matters. you matter.


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## SoSo (Mar 23, 2007)

I agree with what the others said Steven, that you matter.  I am sorry you're in such pain, feeling so hopeless, I hope you will talk to your mother, go back to the hospital if you can, ask to see another doctor if you feel this one is not listening, we all care here.
feisty4me


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## Mari (Mar 23, 2007)

H! I do not want to talk about suicide because of personal experience. You can never be sure that things will go as planned and the pain of that is unbearable for everyone. I want to offer you hope and a hug. Reading your post reminded me of something that happened to me when I was seventeen. I wish I was not so tired right now or I would tell you about it. Maybe after some sleep I will be able to write it out. The story has swearing and violence in it so maybe I can not post it. Mari:zzz:


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## ThatLady (Mar 23, 2007)

Steven, nothing is ever hopeless. Let's just keep talking this out until we can bring back that shining light of hope. It's far more than a glimmer, once you remove what's fogging your vision. :hug:


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## Halo (Mar 23, 2007)

> Let's just keep talking this out until we can bring back that shining light of hope. It's far more than a glimmer, once you remove what's fogging your vision



I really like the way you put that TL....thanks


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