# Why Can't I Stop?



## GDPR (Aug 13, 2011)

It's my understanding that marijuana isn't physically addictive.... which leads me to the question of why can't I stop smoking it?

I started smoking again last October, when things were very stressful, and I have only gone probably 3 or 4 days without since then. I tell myself every day that I'm going to quit, but then I give in and tell myself I will quit tomorrow. But 'tomorrow' has turned into 10 months later and still doing the same thing.

 When I wake up in the morning, it's the first thing I think about. When I clock out at work, it's what I think about on the drive home. It's actually what I constantly think about. Some days I wake up and start smoking, and smoke all day long. Some days I just smoke in the evenings until I go to bed. Sometimes I decide to just catch a small buzz and then stop, which most always turns into smoking more and more.

I'm getting frustrated because I'm not doing all the things I need/want to do because I am too wasted all the time. I have become isolated from family and friends and basically have no social life because I stay home and get stoned. I don't really do anything else. It is really getting out of control.

Weed is way different than it used to be. It's way stronger, and only takes a few hits to be wasted. I'm wondering if that is why it's so hard to stop this time. I have been able to stop with no problems in the past, so I don't understand why it's so hard this time.

Why can't I stop?


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## David Baxter PhD (Aug 13, 2011)

You have a marijuana dependency. That is an addiction whether or not it is physically addictive. 

Some people are able to break dependencies cold turkey based solely on will power. Others need assistance. If you are using weed to relax you, reduce stress or anxiety, alleviate distress of some kind, etc., it may be that part of the problem is facing your symptoms without the assistance of weed. If so, you may need to talk to your doctor about getting a prescription for some medication to help you with those symptoms which in turn might make it easier for you to quit.

Or you may need the support of an addictions counsellor or support group...


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## forgetmenot (Aug 13, 2011)

It has become a coping skill for you to use it  one that you are comfortable with.
   You need to replace it with a more healthy one okay  
 Like stated  call your doctor get on some medication or get some councilling to help you kick this happen once and for all
We always tend to go the easier route when we are upset  yours is to the weed  it will take some work but you can replace it with something better okay hugs


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## GDPR (Aug 13, 2011)

Thanks for the replies.

I haven't smoked any at all today. I just got home from work, and I can feel the anxiety building already. I know that I smoke because it relaxes me and just makes life a little easier to cope with. I'm going to try my hardest to not smoke the rest of the day and see what happens, and see if I really can stop by sheer willpower before consulting my doctor.

I was a little surprised to read this though....


David Baxter said:


> you may need to talk to your doctor about getting a prescription for some medication to help you with those symptoms



I guess I don't understand the point of getting a prescription that most likely will be addictive itself just to get off another addictive substance. It just seems like that defeats the purpose. Isn't that just substituting one for another?


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## Daniel (Aug 13, 2011)

> It just seems like that defeats the purpose. Isn't that just substituting one for another?



I don't know about meds for quitting marijuana but using anti-anxiety, antidepressant, or other psychiatric medications to treat any underlying symptoms (like anxiety) would certainly be a good alternative to self-medicating with marijuana.

Also, Wellbutrin/Zyban (buproprion) is an antidepressant that is sometimes prescribed when people are trying to quit smoking cigarettes. Like all other antidepressant medications, buproprion is not addictive:



> Bupropion SR (Zyban)
> Bupropion is a prescription medication classified as a type of antidepressant. A sustained-release (SR) form of bupropion is approved for smoking cessation. Unlike nicotine replacement therapy, bupropion SR doesn't contain nicotine. It's thought to decrease tobacco cravings and withdrawal symptoms by increasing the levels of certain brain chemicals.
> 
> Pros
> ...



OTOH, buproprion is one of the more stimulating antidepressants and so can increase anxiety in some people.


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## Daniel (Aug 13, 2011)

BTW, ignore my mentioning of buproprion:



> These data suggest that bupropion does not show promise as a potential treatment medication for marijuana dependence.
> 
> SpringerLink - Psychopharmacology, Volume 155, Number 2


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## GDPR (Aug 13, 2011)

Lost_In_Thought said:


> I'm going to try my hardest to not smoke the rest of the day



Maybe I should have written myself reminders and put them all over the house in plain sight. I have already caved in, but I can see where I went wrong.....it's in the way I think. I was thinking about everything I need to get done tonight before I go to bed because I have to be to work extremely early in the morning. I didn't want to get started on them, and started thinking about how if I smoke just a 'little' it will give me the energy and focus to get everything done, and if I do it fast, I will even have spare time to just chill. 

Instead of thinking that I can get everything done without catching a buzz first, I automatically made the decision without even trying first.

Maybe I _should_ consider starting some sort of medication for a bit.


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## Daniel (Aug 13, 2011)

> Instead of thinking that I can get everything done without catching a buzz first, I automatically made the decision without even trying first.



And, of course, you still had the substance in your possession.


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## GDPR (Aug 13, 2011)

Because I have heard that it's always much easier to do without something If you have it around.


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## Daniel (Aug 13, 2011)

How has that been working out for you?

BTW:



> The fact that you can go to almost any city in the country and find a McDonald's within five minutes of driving contributes to the likelihood of compulsive eating.  Similarly, recent epidemics of addiction to cocaine and heroin have accompanied increased availability and affordability of these drugs.
> 
> Part of the reason that convenience sways us so much is that we have a limited amount of impulse control.  Some of us are better at resisting temptation, while some are more likely to give in.  Dopamine activity in your nucleus accumbens, the brain's reward center, can disrupt your brain's decision making ability by interfering with your prefrontal cortex, the brain's impulse control region.
> 
> 7 Things McDonald’s Knows About Your Brain


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## GDPR (Aug 15, 2011)

OK, it's Monday, a new week. I have no 'substances' in my possession and I am done with it. I am not going to smoke anymore, no matter how I feel. No excuses. 

I can do this.

---------- Post added at 12:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:18 PM ----------

I CAN do this. I have many times before in the past,I just have to really want it. I can't half-assed do it.


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## Always Changing (Aug 15, 2011)

Willpower on its own then?  and or  maybe ..........you can utilise US here in the forum to assist you when it gets a bit tough.?
Do you think coming here when the urge for a "smoke" is present would help.   
Or maybe you have you your own ideas on how to get through these 1st couple of days.. or even just today!.  don't keep that secret to yourself ok.


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## GDPR (Aug 15, 2011)

Well, actually before I just substituted alcohol for the weed. Then I ended up drinking every day. But, for 5 years straight I was able to not do any drugs and not drink or do anything. I know I can do it again. Sheer willpower will work again.

My plan is to mostly journal my feelings out when I get the urge. Maybe coming here might be a good idea too.


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## Always Changing (Aug 15, 2011)

I wonder has anyone else here (members)  given up weed\"smoke" in the past,   if there was maybe you could have a sort of buddy to support your in your efforts. 

I guess given your time zone..  you are maybe (more or less) half way through your day, so thats good right.  

I smoke (regular cigs) and at times I tell  myself I am going to stop... never seem to get round to it though. .  I guess that why I like to hear of others WHO CAN DO IT. it gives me hope that one day I too will stop. 

 Sometimes I think they only way would be to make all smoking illegal.. hmmm I wonder how that would go down in the general population  

anyway... sorry letting myself wander here.   

I really admire that you are doing this and going for it!.


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## GDPR (Aug 15, 2011)

I'm ashamed to say I am already struggling. But, I had a t session this morning, and normally the first thing I do when I get home is burn one. It just makes things easier, makes it easier to get rid of the feelings. Easier to not think about what we discuss while I'm in there.

I'm having heart palpitations and I'm feeling so much anxiety right now. My mind is telling me that it will all go away if I smoke. But, I'm resisting.

---------- Post added at 02:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:19 PM ----------

The way I'm feeling right now is temporary, isn't it? I'm feeling this way because of my therapy session, not because I'm craving weed or anything. 

I'm just used to smoking when I feel like this.


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## Daniel (Aug 15, 2011)

> The way I'm feeling right now is temporary, isn't it?



How could it not be?  Cravings are temporary as well.    So it's like riding a wave.

And I just saw this:  Exercise can curb marijuana use and cravings


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## GDPR (Aug 15, 2011)

Thanks Daniel. The info about exercising was interesting and helpful. The other one was too, but exercising sounds like a simple solution.


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## boi (Aug 15, 2011)

Lost_In_Thought
I found it incredibly difficult to quit pot. In the past I have quit cigarettes and heroin and I found weed harder. Maybe because it was a different time in my life then, or another theory I have is the widespread availability of it coupled with the cliche idea that it will not kill you, it's socially acceptable, it's like a glass of wine after work etc.... I have no moral stance on pot...but what I do know for me, it made life "better". Everything I did was "better" when I was high. Bad tv was good when high, boring things - not bored when high. This was unrealistic for me and that is why I knew I had to quit. I felt like it was a "false" life per se. I would have all these ideas and then I would get high and not want to do them. Even though, I was still productive, I was not doing all that I wanted to. I started talking to my T about it and I made a decision to stop. I could not have it anywhere in the house. If I had it, I would use it (same with sugar heheh).  You can do it too. I know how hard it is. I hear plenty of people say, I could stop if I want, but they don't stop with lots of justifications. That's ok too. But it's denial. It is hard to stop and that's why they don't. It was very hard for the first week, then it got easier. I feel so much better without it. I feel like my head is clear and I don't depend on it. I don't watch a lot of bad tv anymore (heheh maybe some) but I definitely have better things to do. I have anxiety as well and pot made me extremely paranoid and it didn't help the anxiety. Through therapy I am becoming more aware and I am finding new ways to deal with my anxiety. Have you spoken to your T about smoking and wanting to quit? Your T could be a good support. You have my support


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## GDPR (Aug 16, 2011)

Thanks boi. 

Seriously though...weed was tougher to quit than even heroin? I've never done heroin, but I have always wondered how my son was able to get off of it but hasn't been able to quit smoking weed.

What you said about life being 'better' sounds so familiar, because that's exactly how I have felt the past 10 months. Life HAS been better, everything has been better, but, it hasn't really been 'real'. No matter what has been going on, no  matter how tough trauma therapy has been, everything has been made 'better' just by smoking. But then the flip side is just being so burnt out all the time, feeling so unproductive and not facing reality.

My T. knows I smoke. He has no problem with occasional use, but thinks I should go to NA or AA meetings or something for help/support. I'm definitely not going to do that, I'd be laughed at in this town with all the people going that are struggling with heroin, oxy,etc. He also wants me to try seroquel, but I'm a bit afraid to. 

I haven't smoked any today either, and I just feel really depressed right now. I feel like I've lost a friend or something and I know that sounds pathetic, but it's how I feel.


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Aug 16, 2011)

Hey LIT; 

don't worry so much about what other people think...  (lol  I'm told that all the time and I am not addicted to MJ or anything else...)  I bet you if you go to an AA meeting you'll find a bunch of other people worrying about the same thing as you are...  I would hope someone with an addiction wouldn't laugh at another person with an addiction, you would think there would be nothing but support.  It shouldn't matter if one substance is supposedly worse than the other, what should matter is you are reaching out for a little support.  I may have mentioned this already, but a lot of people with "addictive personalities" or people who mask/deal with their depression or anxiety or other truly psychological/physiological issues by using a substitute for prescribed medication/therapy/support all need the same help (in varying degrees and methods).

If you're all shades of the same colour, you'll be in good company.


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## Always Changing (Aug 16, 2011)

> My plan is to mostly journal my feelings out when I get the urge.


 Have you done this yet today?


> I can do this.


 Yes you can!!. 

Recovery Literature in English (US) 
Maybe you can get some support and tips on coping from the website of N.A.   I see a lot of information booklets listed there, maybe you can download one or two and see what you think of them.


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## boi (Aug 16, 2011)

darn, I messed up my posting.
LIT,
I understand you do not want to go to NA or AA for marijuana dependency. I think in general we underestimate the power of weed and the effects of it on individuals. It is just from my experience that I think heroin was easier to quit than pot others may differ and I possibly am over simplifying, addiction is addiction. That is really great that you have not smoked today. The first week is torture and then is gets WAY better. My motivation to quit was the fact that I knew I had to deal with my feelings around many many things. My feelings have been buried for years and I didn't deal with them (maybe that's why I transferred my addiction to various things). I want to be ok with myself and I knew smoking pot everyday was not going to allow me to accomplish my personal goals for the only reason that I was smoking pot everyday. I really know how hard it is. You can do it!!!!!


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## GDPR (Aug 16, 2011)

I have made it through the day so far without smoking. I have a migraine and feel like sh*t.

I did sit and think about smoking some. I started thinking that I could just hide and do it, and nobody would know. And then my husband would think I really quit this time( I have been saying I'm quitting every day).

But then I thought about how I really want to quit, for real, and what good would it do to pretend like I have?


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Aug 16, 2011)

Good for you LIT!!


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## GDPR (Aug 17, 2011)

I couldn't sleep last night. I had so much freakin anxiety.

But, I woke up feeling pretty good this morning. I believe it's do-able. It's not gonna be as hard as I had believed.


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## Always Changing (Aug 17, 2011)

well done on getting through the night, another day done and dusted!.  



> I believe it's do-able.


   :2thumbs:


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## GDPR (Aug 18, 2011)

I made it through another day. Yay for me.

But, not being high all the time makes me remember why I stayed that way for so long. Actually feeling is hard. Remembering is hard. Not being able to numb myself when I have flashbacks is hard. Everything is hard.


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Aug 18, 2011)

Yeah, when you aren't used to doing those things, it's tough.   Some people manage to bury their feelings and distract themselves in other ways so they still don't deal with their feelings.  Then something triggers an emotion and they're totally discombobulated.  

Like we were saying, maybe think about asking your physician or a psychiatrist about what meds you should consider taking.  You start off slowly, so your body can get used to them, and gradually take more...  It can take a few weeks to actually kick in properly, but you've already taken the big first step by quitting weed so at least you won't have any nasty effects interacting from that if you start taking prescribed meds...

You don't _have_ to fight feeling awful, especially when you are dealing with flashbacks.  It's not a weakness to take something to help you get through, it's actually quite intelligent to be concerned enough about one's wellbeing to take care of one's quality of life.   Otherwise the stress and/or depression is going to wear you out completely.  

If I know you a little bit, it sounds like you want to try your darnedest anyway, but try not to wait too long.  It already takes a while for prescription anti-anxiety/depressants to kick in and work properly, so the longer you wait the longer you're going to feel a bit tortured...  8(

You don't have to do this all on your own, either, remember you've got like-minded folks in AA or NA.  And in here, too, of course, but I meant real-live, flesh-and-blood, someone you could meet eye-to-eye or talk with over the phone.   Someone who knows what your going through.  Some of them have used other substances like alcohol to do the same thing you were doing.

In the meantime, congratulations!  *cheers*


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## Always Changing (Aug 18, 2011)

> not being high all the time makes me remember why I stayed that way for so long.





> but, it hasn't really been 'real'.


 which is why you are doing this.  To be real,more productive etc,  part of that is being alive and feeling.  Yes it is very hard.. but!! You ARE getting there.     and thats just Awesome!!  

Reminder:  Are you remember to document\journal this part of your Journey to wellness.?  

So proud of you :hug:


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## GDPR (Aug 18, 2011)

Yes, I have been writing down how I feel and what I'm thinking in my journal.

I guess I'm not missing being high, not the actual buzz part of it. Having a buzz was always nice, but I think what I'm missing most is how it made all the bad thoughts not so bad. How it turned feeling depressed into feeling good, and how it helped me not feel anything other than happy and relaxed.


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## Daniel (Aug 18, 2011)

Lost_In_Thought said:


> Yes, I have been writing down how I feel and what I'm thinking in my journal.
> 
> I guess I'm not missing being high, not the actual buzz part of it. Having a buzz was always nice, but I think what I'm missing most is how it made all the bad thoughts not so bad. How it turned feeling depressed into feeling good, and how it helped me not feel anything other than happy and relaxed.



BTW, from an article Dr. Baxter posted in 2007.  It's kindof newage-y but interesting (a different twist on typical advice):  



> In Ayurvedic medicine (used for centuries in India), there are three mind-body types -- Air, Fire, and Earth, explains Emmons. Each is based on your body type -- whether you're a thin, wiry type, or strong and muscular, or a bit on the hefty side. Other patterns -- whether you tolerate hot weather, have straight or curly hair, get constipated easily or not, sleep easily or not -- are all factored into your Ayurvedic type.
> 
> Air types like Rachel are most prone to anxious depression, he says. Fire types align with agitated depression, and Earth types are likely to have sluggish depression.
> 
> ...


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## GDPR (Aug 18, 2011)

Thanks. That IS interesting. And I like newage-y stuff.


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## Daniel (Aug 18, 2011)

I like newage-y stuff, too, sometimes just for a change of pace, e.g. HayHouseRadio.

Anyway, a fun fact:



> Understanding the biological basis of pleasure...calls for a reformation in our concepts of such virtuous and prosocial behaviors as sharing resources, self-deprivation, and the drive for knowledge. Crucially, *brain imaging studies show that giving to charity, paying taxes, and receiving information about future events all activate the same neural pleasure circuit that's engaged by heroin or orgasm or fatty foods*. Perhaps, most important, analysis of the molecular basis of enduring changes in the brain's pleasure circuitry holds great promise for developing drugs and other therapies to help people break free of addictions of many sorts, to both substances and experiences.
> 
> http://www.npr.org/2011/06/23/137348338/compass-of-pleasure-why-some-things-feel-so-good



As mentioned in that radio interview, though, no one gets addicted to donating to charity.


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## GDPR (Aug 18, 2011)

Hmmm...giving to charity, yes, but paying taxes....not so sure about that one, not property taxes anyway(ha).

Maybe I should do some volunteer work again. I think I felt best when I volunteered at a soup kitchen/homeless shelter. It made me feel good to help others and it made me feel fortunate and grateful for what I have. It just made me feel like I had a purpose.

BTW....love HayHouseRadio


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## Daniel (Aug 18, 2011)

> I guess I'm not missing being high, not the actual buzz part of it. Having a buzz was always nice, but I think what I'm missing most is how it made all the bad thoughts not so bad. How it turned feeling depressed into feeling good, and how it helped me not feel anything other than happy and relaxed.


BTW, as mentioned in the audio of the interview, people who are under stress are more likely to want to seek pleasure to compensate for the stress.   But when people get addicted, they go from _liking_ the "high" to _wanting_ the drug just so they don't feel bad.  So with addictions, people eventually go from seeking pleasure to mostly just avoiding pain. (The same can be true to some extent of anxiety disorders and depression -- people who are depressed or anxious generally focus less on pleasurable activities and more on avoiding psychological discomfort.)


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## GDPR (Aug 18, 2011)

Daniel said:


> people who are depressed or anxious generally focus less on pleasurable activities and more on avoiding psychological discomfort.



I think that is so true...at least it is for me.


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## Daniel (Aug 18, 2011)

> BTW....love HayHouseRadio



My favorite person there is Wayne Dyer, who is apparently the most popular person there.  He was a grad student of Maslow.

In one of his call-in radio shows this year, they had a caller addicted to smoking who thought it would be too hard to quit, and Wayne Dyer focused on the Byron Katie approach:



> *Here are the four questions to help challenge compelling thoughts:*
> Is it true?
> Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
> How do you react when you believe that thought?
> ...


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## GDPR (Aug 19, 2011)

It's Friday and I'm struggling a little bit. I think I just need to make a few changes to avoid it though. My work is very accommodating and they allow me to work more hours/days if I want and work less hours/days if needed. So I take every Friday off. I have been doing that for the past 10(?) months. 

I haven't been working Fridays because I always start smoking as soon as I wake up in the morning(my 'wake and bake' day) and smoke all day long. I have been doing that because it's the day I pay bills, get groceries, and all the other things that need to get done. It just made all the sucky things I had to do easier, plus took away the anxiety I would have if I didn't smoke.

A simple solution would be to work on Fridays. I can't wake and bake and then go to work. So I know I wouldn't do it.

So now I just need to make it through the day, do all the things I need to do _without_ smoking. This will be kinda strange....and hard.

---------- Post added at 10:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:38 AM ----------

Sorry if this is starting to sound like a diary or something.

I didn't smoke today and I feel good about it.

But I had an extremely rough time doing normal, everyday things because I haven't done them without being high for so long. I ended up so frustrated and anxious that I cried off and on most of the day.


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## Always Changing (Aug 20, 2011)

> I ended up so frustrated and anxious that I cried off and on most of the day.


 and still 





> I didn't smoke today and I feel good about it.


  Damn right you feel good, that feeling is so well deserved!!      :hug:
Strike up the  :band: and do a little :dance2:.


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## forgetmenot (Aug 20, 2011)

You are doing great hun  Keep it up okay  Try to keep busy occupy your time with things you love to do or use to love to do.  Each day is a victory for you be proud of what you are accomplishing  hugs


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## Always Changing (Aug 22, 2011)

Hi L in T,
How did you get on over the weekend?   

Missed your updates. 

Hope you are doing okay.  :hug:


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## GDPR (Aug 22, 2011)

I made it through the weekend without smoking too. I've been having lots of headaches though. And I have a migraine right now. 

Been feeling really down too. But, I'm sure it will just take time to adjust.

Thanks for asking


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## Always Changing (Aug 22, 2011)

> I made it through the weekend without smoking too.


 Fantastic!!   you will have to send me some of that will power in a few weeks okay.  I have already cut down (some), thinking of quitting.  hmmm 

MIgraine:  I hate those, I guess it doesn't really help to be looking at computer screen when you have one.   Do You have any medication or pain relief for it? 

Sorry to hear you are feeling down, I hope you feel some bit better soon. :hug:  
 Do you still have your Therapist?  if so maybe he\she can help you during this period of adjustment? . 

Meantime, look after yourself and that Migraine and hang in there with the quitting .


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## GDPR (Aug 24, 2011)

I'm feeling so much better. And the only time I really get the urge to get high now is when I'm real upset.

I was around people that were smoking it yesterday, one of them even offered me some, and I didn't want to. One person is such a burn out, and that's so not how I wanna be again.

I feel proud of myself.


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## forgetmenot (Aug 24, 2011)

Way to go hun  so proud of you too


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Aug 24, 2011)

Hi Lost_In_Thought...  8D

Terrific to hear you've been using the ol will power!  Way to go!

I suffer from migraines...  Or I did until I asked my doctor about Naproxen/Anaprox (Steve from this forum told me about it).   Wow, ever since I got that stuff, as soon as I think I am getting a migraine I take one and I haven't had one in about three weeks!  I was getting them almost weekly for several months due to extra stress.  Maybe ask your doctor, if you have frequent migraines, and be aware that it can interact with some medications and you have to eat something (like a small yogurt at least) with it because it's hard on your stomach.  You might not be able to have the exact same medication but you might be able to get a similar prescription.   Anything that prevents migraines is worth a shot.  Also stress, lack of sleep, some foods, etc could trigger a migraine.  Might be worth your while to go on a bit of a food trial or journal what you eat.  Some people get migraines from MSG, chocolate, nitrates in processed meats, and that sort of thing.

Awesome that you kicked that weed habit!  Nice going!


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## GDPR (Aug 25, 2011)

Not smoking weed isn't the hard part, the hard part is feeling the feelings that I have. It's like everything is magnified now and all of my emotions are out of control.

When I get mad, I'm more than just mad, I feel violent. When I feel down, it's quickly escalating to feeling suicidal. Even feeling happy seems more like euphoria now. 

I'm not used to 'feeling'. I don't know how to deal with it.


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## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Aug 25, 2011)

I hear ya.  I imagine it's the same way with a brother of mine.  He has been self-medicating for years.  He refuses to get any prescriptions at all, or seek therapy, because he is terrified and paranoid about someone somehow taking advantage of him and locking him up.  Probably because my mom has threatened to do that to him before.


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## Always Changing (Aug 25, 2011)

you have said its not the quitting that is the problem, its whats  happening now.  Stopping the act of lighting one up is only one part of the quiting 


> the hard part is feeling the feelings that I have.  It's like everything  is magnified now and all of my emotions are out of control.


 and now you it would appear you have the desired effect of doing that,  feeling the feelings.  This too (the magnification) is part of the quitting and I think you  do not have to put yourself through the agony of dealing with this   without help of somekind. 
Originally posted by David  (post # 2 i think)


> you may need to talk to your doctor about getting a prescription for  some medication to help you with those symptoms which in turn might make  it easier for you to quit.


.  I think maybe now might be a good time to reconsider this suggestion.   Medication might help with the transition??


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## GDPR (Aug 25, 2011)

Always Changing said:


> I think maybe now might be a good time to reconsider this suggestion.   Medication might help with the transition??



....and that's exactly the decision I made today, and plan on going to talk to the dr. 2morrow. 

I was so against it before, but now that I'm not high all the time, I realize that I _do_ need to be on something.


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## Always Changing (Aug 25, 2011)

> .and that's exactly the decision I made today, and plan on going to talk to the dr. 2morrow.


 :2thumbs: 
Let us know how you get on,. so glad you decide to go.


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## Always Changing (Sep 4, 2011)

Hi L.i.t. 
Just wondering how you are doing these days,
How did you get on with your doctor regarding help with the above.?


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## GDPR (Mar 13, 2012)

I kind of forgot that I joined this site...

Since my last post, I went the prescription drug route, and ended up going back to weed shortly after that. Compared to xanax,effexor, etc., weed is more beneficial,without any side effects.

I don't smoke as much as I used to. Now I just smoke enough to get a slight buzz, usually a couple hits off a joint is enough.


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## David Baxter PhD (Mar 13, 2012)

It may very well seem that way.

But eventually you will find that if you are vulerable to anxiety or depression or both (as well as some other mental healyth conditions) the symptoms will worsen over time as you continue to self-medicate with cannabis. And then you'll realize you have two problems - the opriginal anxiety (or whatever) plus a psychological dependence on or adcdiction to cannabis.


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## GDPR (Mar 13, 2012)

David Baxter said:


> And then you'll realize you have two problems - the opriginal anxiety (or whatever) plus a psychological dependence on or adcdiction to cannabis.



That may be true, however, if I would have stayed on the xanax and effexor, I would have ended up with an addiction to, or psychological dependence on them also. I really don't see the difference.

Can you please explain the difference? The difference I see is weed doesn't cause withdrawals like the other 2. It makes sense to me to go the weed route.


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## Daniel (Mar 13, 2012)

> I really don't see the difference.


What I don't understand is why people take such risks with weed -- unless, of course, they are strongly addicted to it.    In Florida, possession of any weed (if one is arrested) is going to cost a lot in legal fees (if you want a good lawyer), fees for probation, and possible loss of future income from future employers doing criminal history checks. (It also puts one's friends in jeopardy of getting arrested if they are with you at the time, especially if you do not admit possession.)




> if I would have stayed on the xanax and effexor, I would have ended up with an addiction to, or psychological dependence on them also.


I don't know anyone who argues that Effexor is addictive.  But even if that were true (which it isn't), you could still pursue other therapies like talk therapy, behavior therapy, interpersonal therapy, etc.


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## GDPR (Mar 13, 2012)

So, your answer to my question is weed isn't legal. I agree that it's a risk, but it really does help me better than any prescription drug I've tried.


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## Daniel (Mar 13, 2012)

What about therapy? Or growing as a person?  

To channel the late Fritz Perls, self-medicating with pot may just make you more comfortable with your psychological defenses. 

Anxiety is not your biggest problem, anyway. It's how you cope with it in maladaptive, short-term ways.


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## forgetmenot (Mar 13, 2012)

Short term it helps you only    It does not help you to succeed  to take control of your life  as it has the control not you


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## David Baxter PhD (Mar 13, 2012)

Lost_In_Thought said:


> That may be true, however, if I would have stayed on the xanax and effexor, I would have ended up with an addiction to, or psychological dependence on them also. I really don't see the difference.



First, Xanax and Effexor are not "addictive" (well Xanax may be somewhat if used over the long term), although they do require tapering off should you reach a point where you want/need to discontinue them. Second, Xanax and Effexor provide benefits in the treatment of anxiety. They do not make your anxiety problem progressively worse as does cannabis.



Lost_In_Thought said:


> The difference I see is weed doesn't cause withdrawals like the other 2.



That's false. It doesn't only cause withdrawal but it's a bad withdrawal, worse than nicpotine for many people who allow themselves to be sucked in by the myth that it's not addictive.



Lost_In_Thought said:


> It makes sense to me to go the weed route.



I wouldn't expect an addict to say anything else. 



Daniel said:


> What about therapy? Or growing as a person?
> 
> To channel the late Fritz Perls, self-medicating with pot may just make you more comfortable with your psychological defenses.
> 
> Anxiety is not your biggest problem, anyway. It's how you cope with it in maladaptive, short-term ways.


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## GDPR (Mar 13, 2012)

David Baxter said:


> I wouldn't expect an addict to say anything else.



Just so you know,I don't appreciate being called an addict when you know nothing about me.

And I'm assuming you're just regurgitating what you've learned, without any personal experience, as do most people. The stuff I read reminds me of the movie Reefer Madness. 

Maybe others may consider it 'wrong', but I really don't give a ****. It helps me. It takes my anxiety away. It helps me function better. That's all that matters to me. I could go back down the prescription meds route again, but why should I be a guinea pig and have to suffer reactions and side affects until I'm put on the 'right' one? Weed works EVERY time. I know what to expect, I know the exact dosage, and it's almost instant relief.


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## Daniel (Mar 13, 2012)

> and it's almost instant relief.



So does self-injury for some people, or ruminating about suicide.    People do such avoidance behaviors because they work.  The problem is it doesn't help in the long term.   

With a SSRI or cognitive behavior therapy, for example, the effects are long term.  The relapse rate goes down even after the treatment is stopped -- even years later.

In other words, it's not like if more people went on pot like they did in the 60s, the suicide rate would go down.    The suicide rate did go down with the introduction of Prozac, the first SSRI.


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## David Baxter PhD (Mar 13, 2012)

Lost_In_Thought said:


> Just so you know,I don't appreciate being called an addict when you know nothing about me.



Uh, there was a smiley at the end and I didn't "call you an addict"... just pointing out that one of the characteristics of substance abuse is rationalization of the substance abuse.



Lost_In_Thought said:


> And I'm assuming you're just regurgitating what you've learned, without any personal experience, as do most people. The stuff I read reminds me of the movie Reefer Madness.



I grew up in the 60s. We were naive about the dangers of cannabis back then so I suppose we had an excuse (i.e., ignorance). 



Lost_In_Thought said:


> Maybe others may consider it 'wrong', but I really don't give a ****.



This has nothing to do with morality or right or wrong. It has to do with risk to your mental health, and what helps ands what does not help.



Lost_In_Thought said:


> It helps me. It takes my anxiety away. It helps me function better. That's all that matters to me.



Except that all the evidence is that it does NOT help. Quite the contrary, it makes your condition worse. If you prefer to delude yourself into believing otherwise, knock yourself out. As I said, in the 60s we had an excuse. You can't claim that today.



Lost_In_Thought said:


> I could go back down the prescription meds route again, but why should I be a guinea pig and have to suffer reactions and side affects until I'm put on the 'right' one? Weed works EVERY time. I know what to expect, I know the exact dosage, and it's almost instant relief.



For now. So you'd prefer to be a scientifically misinformed guinea pig? That's your choice, of course. Let's not pretend it's a good idea for you or anyone else though.


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## David Baxter PhD (Mar 13, 2012)

You might start by reading http://forum.psychlinks.ca/addictiv...-use-and-abuse/28848-the-truth-about-pot.html


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## GDPR (Mar 13, 2012)

Fine, let's NOT pretend. 

When I started taking the other meds, especially the xanax, I knew right away those are things I don't want to be on. The feeling was too familiar for me. I knew right away where the xanax would lead me. So I stopped taking them. And I felt like I wanted that familiarity again. And that turned into a drinking binge. So in order to stay away from the alcohol, I started smoking weed again.

I'm sure it's probably not a good idea to be smoking again. But it seems like the least harmful of the things I could be doing.


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## forgetmenot (Mar 13, 2012)

So you are doing  harm reduction technique then
   This is something new that i was not aware of either
   I was always taught  abstinence was the only way  abstinence    but you are chosing the lesser of two evils for you
   but still it is an evil yes  You have to see it will cause you some harm 
   I think you have to do what it takes to keep you from using more harmful substances and   for now perhaps that is using weed but in time this always seems to lead to other things.
   Get help to be free of all your addictions okay  that way you will be truly in control of you


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## David Baxter PhD (Mar 13, 2012)

There is another option. Get back to your doctor and say, "Those weren't working for me. I need something else." 

Effective medicine is ALWAYS collaborative medicine. If you don't tell your doctor what's NOT working, how can you expect him to help you find something that WILL work?


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## Daniel (Mar 14, 2012)

Eclipse said:
			
		

> harm reduction



which is usually more like loss aversion -- preferring the known to the unknown, even when the unknown is likely to be better.   

The opposite of which is proactive: "*aspiring for a positive future rather than preventing a negative one is distinctly predictive of well-being*."


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## GDPR (Mar 14, 2012)

I'm sorry. I seriously don't know what I'm saying or doing anymore. I prob. should just avoid this place and keep my thoughts and opinions to myself.


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## Daniel (Mar 14, 2012)

> and keep my thoughts and opinions to myself.




How does that help anyone?


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## forgetmenot (Mar 14, 2012)

Hi   i think talking about it helps hun   I do understand what you are saying i do  pot keeps you from using alcohol  and to you this substance is safer
I think in time with some help and support  from your doctor or addiction councellor  you can break free of this substance too.  Like stated hun Dr Baxter is right  you need to keep lines of communication open with your doctor  just because one medication does not work  maybe a newer one will hun   
I for one am glad you are talking here okay  It helps not only you but others who are thinking in the same way


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## David Baxter PhD (Mar 14, 2012)

Lost_In_Thought said:


> I'm sorry. I seriously don't know what I'm saying or doing anymore. I prob. should just avoid this place and keep my thoughts and opinions to myself.





Daniel said:


> How does that help anyone?



Especially you?


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## GDPR (Mar 15, 2012)

I didn't get high yesterday for the first time in a very long time. It was almost like being high since it felt so different.

I think maybe I had lost any/all reasons to not do it. I kind of gave up on everything. 

But...I haven't had a drink in 6 days and now one day without weed. So, it's a start(again).


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## forgetmenot (Mar 15, 2012)

Way to go hun  i do hope now you reach out to your doctor for some help to keep you on this path of healing  
 You should be very proud of you a start to a better way of life     One day at a time right    hugs


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## GDPR (Mar 24, 2012)

I am a little shocked and frustrated. I just seriously can't stop. And I don't think it's because weed is _that _ addictive,I think it's just _me._

I really try my hardest to not do it,but I keep telling myself things like "just one more time ,then I will quit". Which ,of course is keeping me caught in a cycle of giving in/feeling like crap about myself .


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