# Suicide is illogical if even just one person loves/cares about you



## BluMac81 (Aug 21, 2008)

On this vacation I've found some things about life... that it is ever fleeting, speeding by faster and faster as you age, and about the value of life. 

Time and time again I hear older people say 'where did my 20's go?...where did my 30's go? where did my 40's go?' in recognizing how fast time flies in this life. And on my visits to see my mother, I see time catching up with her, looking more like a grandmother with grey hair and wrinkles, and health that is slowly failing... the entire time I visited her on this vacation she had these horrible coughing fits and I kept telling mom to see her doc. Our once spunky wild dog 'Pokey' has now slowed down, and has arthritus...

So back on the value of life. There have been times, in the deep darkness of my mind, that I have felt almost as if a logical solution to my problems would be to end my life, since I will end up dead anyway at some point. But what dispels those thoughts IS the fact that there ARE people in this world who love and care about me unconditionally, and for my last act in this world being that of suicide, something that would greatly hurt them, suicide becomes an unthinkable and selfish act. And so that is why suicide is not logical, because I cannot bear the thought of hurting deeply the ones I love and who love me. Its a rarity...love in families... and a blessing. I am so thankful to have wonderful people in my life. So thankful that just a phone call away is a listening ear, a compassionate heart, and in person, a loving embrace.

We people who are born with such fleeting lives have not time to waste dwelling on the negative. Each of us is born with a life situation much like a hand of cards, some good, some bad, but all add up to life. Within the darkness and the light we find in our lives, we FIND our LIFE, without both, life is void like that of a machine. In this we find our humanity, imperfect as it is, worthwhile.


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## Persephone (Aug 22, 2008)

BluMac81 said:


> Each of us is born with a life situation much like a hand of cards, some good, some bad, but all add up to life. Within the darkness and the light we find in our lives, we FIND our LIFE, without both, life is void like that of a machine. In this we find our humanity, imperfect as it is, worthwhile.



So inspiring...Thank you.


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## Retired (Aug 22, 2008)

> But what dispels those thoughts IS the fact that there ARE people in this world who love and care about me unconditionally



Which is, the reason to live and which outweighs _all_ the opposing thoughts.  When people contemplate suicide, it is because their thinking becomes distorted from overwhelming stress or sadness.

It is why, someone contemplating suicide sends signals, and they usually do, that friends and acquaintances should act on their behalf to get them to someone who can help them with the distorted thinking.



> I see time catching up with her, looking more like a grandmother with grey hair and wrinkles, and health that is slowly failing



Is your Mom looking after her health, and taking your advice to see her doctor about the coughing episodes? 

You are quite right that as we age, time seems to go by quicker and quicker.  It is why we must try to make the most out of every day.

In the case of your Mom, how is she adapting to changes and limitations of her physical capacities?

In those whom I know who have aged successfully and happily are the people who adapt to change in lifestyle and to their physical limitations.

In aging, we tend to see ourselves capable of doing what we did ten or twenty years ago, until we actually try doing it.  The interpretation can be either frustration leading to possible depression _or_ a re-orientation of thinking to change the pace of life.

As a final question to _you_, BluMac, do you feel you have successfully resolved the suicidal thoughts you described earlier?


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## BluMac81 (Aug 22, 2008)

> Is your Mom looking after her health, and taking your advice to see her doctor about the coughing episodes?


I believe she is... she's a very busy person for her age which might be why...her body can't keep up with her lifestyle.  But she is a wise woman with a caring husband and I trust that she takes care of herself.  Funny how the tables turn from mother looking after her son to son looking after his mother as we age...



> In the case of your Mom, how is she adapting to changes and limitations of her physical capacities?


She is adapting very well, and she attests that to her Catholic faith and us, her family.  



> As a final question to you, BluMac, do you feel you have successfully resolved the suicidal thoughts you described earlier?


In one word. Yes.  At the same time though, I am glad we are not immortal.  It makes life so much more precious knowing that we are mortal, and that there will be an end to this dramatic adventure that is life with all of its ups and downs.  But for me... I have so much more life to live, so much yet to be experienced, I'll be turning 27 soon...and have realized that there is so much life to be lived in my remaining years.  Never by my own hand will I perish.


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## Retired (Aug 22, 2008)

> Funny how the tables turn from mother looking after her son to son looking after his mother as we age...



A normal part of the evolution of the generations.  People who are fortunate enough tohave caring children can grow into their elder years with the confidence someone will be looking out for them.

With people living longer and with a more active lifestyle, we try to maintain our independence as long as we can, however letting go of bits and pieces of that independence can be difficult and traumatic for many.

Such things as having to relinquish a driving license, moving out of one's home into an assisted living facility, using a cane or other prosthetic device can be a tough adaptation to make.

In the aging process, many people plan meticulously for their financial independence and early retirement with thoughts of playing tennis, golf, travel or other activities, but few in their younger years plan for ill health.

So I would say your Mom seems to have the odds in her favor, with a caring son and a loving husband who are attentive to her best interests.



> Never by my own hand will I perish



Thank you for the reassurance!


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