# Confidence issues (i think)



## kezman (Aug 28, 2005)

Hey Everyone, Its my first post here. I've been looking for (well, not really looking...just thinking about getting) help with 'myself' recently. This may sound a bit weird but since i broke up with my gf in febuary (long time ago, yes.) I've been feeling wrong, I've noticed that im not as much fun to be around and also feel that im starting to alienate some of my friends. Its really strange, im not sure why. But my personality seems to have changed from being totally outgoing to what can be best described as 'boring' or maybe too serious. Im not sure why this has happened but i think im lacking the confident, couldnt care less attitude that i once had. I think that its probably understandable, alot has happened in my life this past year, ive started university...which is a pretty big step for anybody. Anyway, i'd like to know if anybody has experienced a similar problem themselves or if anybody has any advice for me that would be great. I think i just need to regain some confidence once again.


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## kezman (Aug 28, 2005)

Hey Everyone, Its my first post here. I've been looking for (well, not really looking...just thinking about getting) help with 'myself' recently. This may sound a bit weird but since i broke up with my gf in febuary (long time ago, yes.) I've been feeling wrong, I've noticed that im not as much fun to be around and also feel that im starting to alienate some of my friends. Its really strange, im not sure why. But my personality seems to have changed from being totally outgoing to what can be best described as 'boring' or maybe too serious. Im not sure why this has happened but i think im lacking the confident, couldnt care less attitude that i once had. I think that its probably understandable, alot has happened in my life this past year, ive started university...which is a pretty big step for anybody. Anyway, i'd like to know if anybody has experienced a similar problem themselves or if anybody has any advice for me that would be great. I think i just need to regain some confidence once again.


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## Clockwork (Aug 28, 2005)

I think you may want to see a Dr. It sounds to me that you have had a difficult time letting go of your relationship with your former gf and this has caused some probles for you. If you don't get help it could possibly get worse. You could be depressed but you would need to see a Dr, Psychologist or a PSychiatrist to get a proper diagnosis. Perhaps psychotherapy may help,  check with your family Dr for some oprions.


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## Clockwork (Aug 28, 2005)

I think you may want to see a Dr. It sounds to me that you have had a difficult time letting go of your relationship with your former gf and this has caused some probles for you. If you don't get help it could possibly get worse. You could be depressed but you would need to see a Dr, Psychologist or a PSychiatrist to get a proper diagnosis. Perhaps psychotherapy may help,  check with your family Dr for some oprions.


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## Lana (Sep 1, 2005)

Hi kezman;
It seems like there are a lot of events taking place in your life as of late.  This may have taken away some of the personal time and space that would have been spent on coping with the break up.  All of this is quite normal and is sometimes referred as growing pains.  When relationships end, it's never easy and takes time to get back into the grove of things.  But when that process is complicated by other commitments, it may take a bit longer.  Be patient with yourself and those around you.  If you have someone you can confide in, do it.  Let things off your chest.

If you want to practice being your "old self", you can always allocate some time during a day where you practice being that totally outgoing person.  You may have to pretend at first,  but it's like riding a bike...it'll come back fast.  A couple of things may happen (1) You will get that momentum back and build on it; (2) it'll give you a break from the state you're in.  Start with half hour every day (ideally in the morning).  Remember how it feels.  Then, during the day, when you want that feeling back, it'll be easier to tap into.  And after a while, you won't need to practice as you become a new and improved, you.

Also, there is nothing wrong with being serious.  I suspect that if you combine that serious side with your outgoing side, it'll be a whole new and fun world for you.


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## Lana (Sep 1, 2005)

Hi kezman;
It seems like there are a lot of events taking place in your life as of late.  This may have taken away some of the personal time and space that would have been spent on coping with the break up.  All of this is quite normal and is sometimes referred as growing pains.  When relationships end, it's never easy and takes time to get back into the grove of things.  But when that process is complicated by other commitments, it may take a bit longer.  Be patient with yourself and those around you.  If you have someone you can confide in, do it.  Let things off your chest.

If you want to practice being your "old self", you can always allocate some time during a day where you practice being that totally outgoing person.  You may have to pretend at first,  but it's like riding a bike...it'll come back fast.  A couple of things may happen (1) You will get that momentum back and build on it; (2) it'll give you a break from the state you're in.  Start with half hour every day (ideally in the morning).  Remember how it feels.  Then, during the day, when you want that feeling back, it'll be easier to tap into.  And after a while, you won't need to practice as you become a new and improved, you.

Also, there is nothing wrong with being serious.  I suspect that if you combine that serious side with your outgoing side, it'll be a whole new and fun world for you.


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