# Positive thoughts today...



## daisy (Sep 21, 2011)

I would just like to say... I am a good house painter!!!!


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 21, 2011)

Oooh...  I like this thread!  8D

Um...  I'm not handsome but I'm handy (my husband is handsome)! lol


----------



## daisy (Sep 21, 2011)

Well, then....your not only handy...but your smart too for picking a handsome husband!!!!:lol: BTW, my husband is handsome too. LOL


----------



## amastie (Sep 21, 2011)

A worthwhile thread for me at present.

I"m able to care about others.  For me, that's a gift.


----------



## daisy (Sep 21, 2011)

CARE, is the best thing a person can give!!!! Well done, Amastie!!!!


----------



## Raina (Sep 21, 2011)

Hi,

People who meet me usually say that i am a shot in the arm...I uplift them..._I am also caring...and I make a great curried shrimp...woke up one day and said I think I would like to try that and did it...brought it to every work potluck ever since..._


----------



## daisy (Sep 21, 2011)

Raina Dont you love when you stumble on something amazing!!!!!!! We'll you didn't stumble....you went out and made it happen. Great!!!


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 21, 2011)

I also like to help people...  At least one good thing I got out of having a relationship with the type of parents I had is I find it easier to "read" people -- their eye contact, facial expressions, voice intonation, body language...  I can read between the lines sometimes.  Because I had to when I was growing up.  I had to anticipate what my mother wanted, even though that was nearly impossible...


----------



## daisy (Sep 21, 2011)

OMG, Jolly I'm the exact same way. People are so obvious to me. I can see through people in minutes. My husband questions me some times...but I'm always right. WOW, never thought I'd meet someone else who can do the same. Nice to meet you!!!


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 21, 2011)

lol  Despite the fact I can read a person's mood or anticipate a behaviour from them, until recently I would still befriend them even if I probably should not have...  Because of course my idea of "friendship" was I do everything for you and you do nothing for me; you treat me like crap and I continuously make excuses and tolerate your horrible behaviour towards me...  Partially I would see underlying that stuff that this person I chose to be with was wounded and needed fixing (er, rather, I thought trying to fix someone that didn't really want to be fixed was love - learned that from my dad)...  Sound familiar?  

Anyways, there you go, I'm starting to be more mindful of that sort of thing and I've recently shed a lot of unneeded baggage from other people (that is to say, I think I have enough baggage of my own!) lol...  If I am with someone who I am considering as a friend, I am much more mindful:  does she/he talk about other people behind their backs?  Because if they do, then they'll probably talk about me when I'm not there...  Does this person display odd/alarming/embarrassing behaviour in public to draw attention to him/herself?  If that's the case, would someone else I know put up with this?  If not, why the HECK should I put up with this?  You know, that sort of thing.

So positively speaking, I'm learning more as I come along, here...  I'm trying to be patient with myself, and not try to "hurry up and get better."  That's what I tell everyone else with similar issues!  Here's to following my own advice!  lol  :cheers-toasting:


----------



## daisy (Sep 22, 2011)

Jolly, it sounds like I am looking in a mirror when you describe yourself. Although...since I have serious trust issues I usually don't give people a chance to use me. I have such a well built brick wall to keep people out. Ya know how some people have gay-dar..being able to see a person is gay...well I have radar for people who have issues. Since growing up with my mother's mental illness, I refuse to surround myself with people who are sick. And that;s why I have NO friends.
Well, my positive thought for today is...??? don't have one yet. lol

---------- Post added at 09:00 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:19 AM ----------

Thought of a positive thought for today....I have the GREENEST thumb you could ever see. Did the dish washer and some laundry..also vacuumed the living room and foyer..so I am treating myself to a movie. Watching New Moon...Twilight saga. LOVE IT!!!


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 22, 2011)

Positive thought for the day: Someone named "Daisy" has started a very supportive thread called "Positive thoughts today..."


----------



## Raina (Sep 22, 2011)

Enjoy the movie Daisy....my positive thought is that I went to group therapy and spoke for twenty minutes on my dream and the obstacles...it was nice to get positive and helpful feedback from the other ladies in the group and to find out that I share the same dream with the same obstacles as two of them but none of us have given up hope...

They asked us what hope meant to us and each of us was able to speak to that...it was a very empowering two hours....


----------



## daisy (Sep 22, 2011)

AH, I am soooo happy for you. Wish I had that kind of support.


----------



## Raina (Sep 23, 2011)

Good post Jollygreenjellybean....I am always afraid that I will get your name wrong...I really like it by the way...

Sounds like you were on a similar journey to me...and I am going through the same changes making the same decisions...the only difference was that there were not that many people in my life so it did not take long before I had nobody left...they were all hurting me and using me and openly disrespecting me....so there was a period of upheaval when I became ill...I began speaking my mind and they could not handle it so they left or I asked them to.  The relationships were not healthy anyway so I did not mourn them and am lonely sometimes but realize that I was just as lonely with them in my life so things have not really changed...the only difference is that now I am taking care of myself and am aggravated and insulted less often...

Today I am just enjoying 'being'....I don't feel well but know that is how it has been all my life and is not likely to change in the short run so I am listening, reading, going to groups and sharing parts of myself and my life with others in pain like I am.   I am going to spend the whole day alone except for an hour visit with my case manager and I have decided to not mind...that is how it is right now and it is okay...as I rest I am remembering my past and all the mistakes I have made and how illness has affected my life...I have had a few triumphs too...like finishing college after giving up on getting any post-secondary education whatsoever...like winning scholarships and jobs in school...I suffered and went to school as a student with a mental disability so i received lots of help...but it was worth it.  I learned so much.

I am being positive by accepting my situation for what it is today and not fretting about it today...tomorrow...I'll do my best to do the same...


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 23, 2011)

Daisy!  We support you!  *hugs*  I know, it's not the same as having a therapist...  Hm.  You will have to update us in your other thread to let us know how things are going with crazymeangunlady...

Hey Raina! Awesome that you did so great for yourself with all those accomplishments, even when struggling with personal issues! 

PS:  Lots of people call my Jolly, or Jellybean, or JGJB...  I know it's a long nickname, but I've had it for ages.  I've thought of changing it, but I'm uninspired...  anxiousamberartichoke or recoveringredrutabaga just don't have the same ring...


----------



## daisy (Sep 24, 2011)

I guess all this stress got the best of me, I am sick as a dog with a cold. Slept 15 hours over night, then I just woke up from a 3 hour nap. I want to go back to sleep right now...but gonna try to stay awake so I can sleep tonight. The mean neighbor went back to her other home, states away...so don't have to deal with her again till Halloween, Oct. 28thish. Thanks JollyGreen.


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 24, 2011)

How come you have to deal with her at all?  lol


----------



## Raina (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi Daisy,

Glad you get a break...it seems like no matter where you are there is always something or someone to take the pleasure out of the day...it is like sitting at the park on a bright, warm sunny day and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes and or black flies...what keeps me humble though is that I remember that I am a mosquito or a black fly to other people who just don't like me for whatever reason....conflict or no conflict...

Today I went to a group called Reclaiming Yourself After Abuse...it was the first group ... a large group of women....but the facilitators were very skilled and it turned out well...I left with a little more energy than I had when I went in..enough to do some grocery shopping that I have been putting off for almost a week because i just did not have the energy to do that and go to the groups I was scheduled to go to...it is ten weeks long .... it took everything in me to get out the door but once I got there I was glad I went.  Tomorrow is a quiet day at home alone...but I don't mind...more time for reflection and much needed rest...the pain saps my energy...

Hang in there Daisy...I hope for better days ahead for all of us...


----------



## daisy (Sep 25, 2011)

Raina, sounds like you are doing all the right things for yourself. Your doing better than me, that's for sure...since I am not in any therapy or groups. 
Jolly Green, Its all about my son not having anyone to play with in our neighborhood. There were two boys he was playing with, but these boys were bullying my son..throwing rocks at him, hitting him with toys....SO I stood up for my son, CALMLY talked to the dad about it...AND HE FREAKED OUT ON ME. Saying I WAS A NUT, CRAZY!!! I told him I see where his kids get their bullying from, and told him to keep his kids away from my son. This man is the BUSINESS DEAN at a local preforming arts school. He has never apologized, and my son begs me to play with his kids. I can't believe it happened, after I calmly tried to talk to him about the mean way his kids were bullying my son. His rant came out of no where. I was so shocked and still am.


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 25, 2011)

Hmph.  That wasn't very nice of him, that's for sure...  Especially when Mr. Dean has a job in authority.  That would be like the mayor's teenage child doing something that got into the newspaper and the mayor being so offended that someone actually witnessed something wrong with his perfect family that he had a fit in public and denied denied denied.  Sort of a Mel Gibson-over-the-phone impression, eh?   8P

I wonder if there are any playgroups in your area that are supervised, or after-school programs?   Anything in the schools, or community centres like clubs?  Things that come to mind are sports, or chess, or swimming, or other physical activities?  Maybe one of these days when you find more support (sorry, I can't remember, is this one of your children with Asperger's?), you could get a social worker or similarly qualified person to take your son out to socialize with other kids and give you a little bit of a breather...


----------



## daisy (Sep 25, 2011)

EXACTLY Jolly Green....this neighbor was soooo offend and went off the deep end with me. I just wish other neighbors were out to witness it. My husband came home about 20 min.s later...and then wrote him a letter and left it on his door in the morning. Saying he must of been having a bad day, and being a man of distinction...he was sure he didn't mean what he said. This man had the nerve to email my husband back at hubby's WORK EMAIL...it was a two page letter ranting about how we are no PSHYCHOLOGISTS, and don';t know anything about child psycology...and they have NEVER had any other problems with any other kids his kids play with. He just went on and on. Not appologising for his yelling at me that I was nuts, psycho, AND a "COO, COO HEAD" he actually said that.

Yes, I have 2 kids with aspergers. But this is the son who is very social and is 8 years old.

I don't know how I can get into a support group. As far as putting him in any clubs or sports...I can't get myself up and moving to go do all of that. Just going shopping takes a lot of energy out of me. Tomorrow I am going to the DR. to sit for 8 hours with my hubby. He is taking a new MS drug tomorrow and he has to sit there in case he has a bad reaction to it. I hope my cold is better by then.


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 25, 2011)

Yikes!  What a RUDE dude!  Yeah, I don't know who he thinks he is, but it sounds like he's not the sensible and compassionate type.  He sounds like he thinks HE is the expert on whatever's going on.  So if he is a jerk to you then it's safe to assume his son's may pick up on that and do those behaviors to your son (and probably to other kids)...  Who knows.  Stupid, that's for sure...

 OK well, fun stuff for 8-year-old...  What if your husband looks instead?  I mean after you're better from your cold, and after he's done reacting (or not reacting) to his MS medication, not when you guys are sick or busy.  It's not something you have to do right away, just in fits and starts, for instance if you have a sec where you are surfing the internet anyway or in a group of people who are chatting about daycare or their children, you could ask...

Does this help, for instance?  Find playgroups, moms groups, kids activities, parenting tips | RaisingThem.com


----------



## Daniel (Sep 25, 2011)

That _RaisingThem.com_ site does look good. Even in my rural area, I see are a couple of moms there.

There is also _Meetup.com_, e.g. Aspergers.meetup.com


----------



## daisy (Sep 25, 2011)

My plan for tomorrow evening...look up online some types of support groups in my area. Oh, my 8 year old is in Boy Scouts with hubby. Hubby grew up with a scout leader dad. 5 boys in his family, ALL EAGLE scouts. My daughter is trying to do Volleyball..and older son is helping out with a haunted house at local mall, and he works 2 days a week, lifeguarding at the YMCA. So they are keeping busy.


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 26, 2011)

Oh that's good, do you find that these activities your kids are in give you a breather once in a while?  Or do you still feel stretched too thin?  I got the impression that you were feeling overwhelmed...  So I was thinking well, maybe a) you need help -- ie: support, therapy, delegating the kids/husband to chores or b) the kids need to find things to occupy them so you can concentrate on yourself for a change.  So it sounds like (b) is taken care of...  And you mentioned at least you have a helpful husband and daughter...  And then mentioned you needed to find somewhere/someone for your 8-year-old to play with (other than meangunlady's kid)...  So you are taking care of that...

So now all you have to do now is figure out how to take care of yourself!  8)  Can you get therapy/counseling through your work or your husband's work or through a physician's reference?  What's happening with that fellow at your hubby's work?

Seriously, sounds like you take care of everyone but yourself...  That's an after-effect, I suspect (if you had a mother or father like mine), of your childhood.   You need to look after your family, yes, I understand that, but make sure you aren't neglecting yourself, hun...

*hugs*


----------



## Raina (Sep 26, 2011)

Hi Daisy,

Hope you are able to find some support groups...I have been going to them since 2009 and they have been very helpful.  I had a lot of questions about healthy relationships since all of mine were unhealthy, self esteem, assertiveness, anger, and I went to the ones at the hospital where they talked about depression and anxiety both of which apply to me...I even found a hearing voices group because I am a voice hearer although they are quiet right now and I really hope they stay that way...

One of the groups at the hospital was women's issues and I found that space to be very good for me....I am on waiting lists for several more groups in the winter and for next fall...they don't run many in the summer not in the community anyway...in the hospitals they run them year round...

I did not feel very well today...not that I do any day really...but some days I can get out the door easier than other days and today I could not see past my bedroom....but I made it out the door...

Sending you good wishes you too Jollygreenjellybean...you're so helpful and it helps in this thread to look for light in the midst of all this darkness...


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 26, 2011)

You are wonderful to hear from as well, Raina and Daisy...

Hey Raina, I was wondering...  Once in a while I heard voices, or at least I think I did.  It was in a time long before I met my husband.  I was living with a jerk who basically controlled my every move...  I was probably half-starved (because he controlled what I ate - or rather I let him control me) and lacking sleep (because he was always partying at my house with his pals) and who I could have relationships (so I was quite isolated)...  In retrospect it kind of reminds me of a cult!  lol  You're never allowed to be alone, and think your own thoughts... Anyways, towards the end of the relationship I could swear I heard a voice in my head that kept saying, "What about you?"  It just kept repeating that phrase over and over...  Sometimes it would go silent, other times it was quite insistent, always in the same mild tone.  It sort of sounded like my voice, but it was not something I was asking myself consciously, it was like an independent voice... It kind of freaked me out, but I never told anyone except my therapist...  He didn't really say much about what it could be either...   I don't know if it was some kind of schizoid episode, or if it was just my subconscious trying to rescue me or what...  I was just curious to know if the voices in your head were similar or completely different?  I still, although very rarely hear someone sometimes and it wakes me up, but in these instances where I hear someone calling my name or something, I wake up and it's just a dream I think because my husband is snoring and I am wearing earplugs so my muddled mind makes up that it's words I am hearing or my name but it's just sounds... lol  (You know like when your alarm goes off but you are dreaming it is a police siren or something)...


----------



## Raina (Sep 26, 2011)

Hi Jollygreenjellybean,

I have heard voices since I was eight years old....most of the time...they just say the odd thing so that I wondered what the heck just happened...the only reason I knew it was something not of me was because the voices were always male...in 2009 I was hearing music and all kinds of strange noises and feeling all kinds of weird sensations in my body like a match being dropped on my foot when that was not happening in real time...each time they come it is different...sometimes they are caring other times they are downright destructive...they almost caused me to commit suicide on two occasions...it is a sheer act of God that I am still alive today...

So sorry you were in such a horrible relationship....many days I wish the fairy tales were true and the it was possible to live happily ever after...sadly that is not the case...your voices posed a very good question...what about you?  I really hope you ask yourself that often and are taking really good care of you....I have come to realize that I am my best friend, confidant, supporter and defender...

The hearing voices experience is so vastly different for everybody...there is a hearing voices net work if you are interested where you can read accounts of others who hear voices...I did not find it very helpful simply because everyone's account was so different...the one thing we all had in common was we all tried to come up with a theory of where the voices come from and some of us had the same thoughts and others thought things that I never considered and still don't...we were also all freaked out at first and we all found it very debilitating when they became persistent and consistent and did not go quiet for days, months and in my last episode....they ranted day and night for three years...

I'm quite sad to hear that you hear voices too...I think it is a terrible phenomenon and it is one I dislike and don't understand....

The positive note for me is that they have not said a word since July 27th and I am enjoying every moment of peace in my already cluttered head...hope they leave you alone too...


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 26, 2011)

Well, in my case, I only heard that phrase, repetitively during the relationship I had with that drug addicted alcoholic.  I remember occasionally thinking once or twice when I was a kid, I could have sworn my mom was calling me...  I even got up and asked her what she wanted, and why she woke me up and she said she wasn't calling me and I must have been dreaming.  Who knows?   It only happened a couple of times.  I don't remember it ever happening except those very few times, and not so much nowadays.  The only time I am certain it wasn't me hearing that voice/phrasing was that one period of time in my life.  I am just forever puzzled by it.

I am glad they aren't bothering you lately.  That would be so disconcerting, especially that they would be nice to you one day and horrid the next!  Sounds too much like my home life growing up.  lol   8P  Have you asked a therapist about those voices?  Are you diagnosed with anything in particular or take medication for anything? 

D'oh! Or maybe I should start PMing you instead of dragging out your personal issues and hijacking people's threads...  Sorry Daisy!!

---------- Post added at 09:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:16 PM ----------

Hey Daisy, I'm ready to focus....  I have trouble lately...  This thread is for Positive Thoughts...  So I originally wanted to come in here and just be positive.  Because that's nice to keep the ball rolling on positive...  So I was thinking positively after my day.  I learned a lot about myself.  I had a therapy "assignment" and it was very helpful...  Gives me ideas...


----------



## daisy (Sep 27, 2011)

That's ok Jolly Green...I'm living and learning. Had a crazy day yesterday. It's such a long story. I have to organize it in my head and try to explain it here. It's about my sister-in-law and her kids being too skinny and her being mad people try to stuff junk food down their throats. Basically she's mad that I think her kids are BONE thin...and all she wants is for them to eat HEALTH food. Now these kids were born with Larson's syndrom...a bone and joint issue. 3 of her 4 kids have it, and have gone through a ZILLION surgeries each, and they are 12,7 and 4. She once said she wants them to be light weight so she can pick them up when they are imobilized from surgeries. She's the one who brought the subject up on facebook, and I explained why everyone around these kids see them as deprived/too skinny, and need of extra fat. Well, she didn't like that and went off on me. With her it's her way or tuff crap. She has screamed at Doctors on many occations. Oh well, she's nuts. AND I had to open my mouth and get in trouble AGAIN!!!

---------- Post added at 01:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:34 AM ----------

Looked up support groups, and found one 10 min.s from my house...thing is....I'm to anxious to go, or call the lady.:rofl: Did ya ever feel like your in the twilight zone, then realize it's only reality???? That's my day, every day!!!!


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 27, 2011)

Hm... Well as far as your sister goes, I suppose if anyone is going to say something it would eventually be social services.  I have never heard the benefits of purposefully starving children so it's easier to take care of them...  I am really shocked that her doctors haven't called social services already.  They are bound by their oath.  And if they're in school, so are their teachers!   Grrrr...  Karma is gonna come around at some point... 

My mom (formerly a nurse) has managed to fool patients and family into taking medication because she tells the doctors to tell the recipients of said medication that the meds are for another reason, like vitamin supplements.   If I am ever on my deathbed before her, I will be expecting my husband and physician and therapist to be around to make sure my mom doesn't weasel her way in to mess with my medications.  Just for that reason alone I expect to live to at least 100 years old...



> Looked up support groups, and found one 10 min.s from my house...thing is....I'm to anxious to go, or call the lady.:rofl: Did ya ever feel like your in the twilight zone, then realize it's only reality???? That's my day, every day!!!!



Hmmmm...  Not that I want to enable your anxiety, but can you work around that and contact her by email instead?  Even if there isn't an email, you know what I do?  Because I get tongue-tied when I am calling places that I feel nervous at, I actually write a little script.  It's my just-in-case backup...  

For example if I was going to ask about the support groups, I would jot down some questions I might like to ask (so my mind doesn't go blank as soon as someone answers the phone)...   When I was younger I would even write down an introduction to the call, so I wouldn't forget to tell the person who I was at the beginning of the call...  (yes I was that terrified of the phone)...

Anyways...  It wasn't like the script was always in order, but I would have a pen handy to check off my points and if the person I was calling had something I needed to jot down I would do that too... That way no need to call the person back (unlike my mom who, if she forgets, will call you back, and then she'll forget something else and call you back again...  GAAAAH!)... 

I hope that helps...  8D  That's what I still do...  Oh and it helps to take a few slow deep breaths through your nose (count of 4 in, count of 5 out), and then continue that while dialing, and then you feel so much more relaxed when someone answers the phone.


----------



## daisy (Sep 27, 2011)

SISTER IN LAW....she only said that to me. I didn't bring it up to her in this latest rant...but I should have!!!! I will, IF she ever talks to me again. I told her, via email, her thought process was scaring me and I wanted to avoid that.
As far as support group....I could email the woman. But here;s my other excuse...we live in a small town...and my husband is a high school teacher, I don't want people to know my business.


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 27, 2011)

Hm...  I don't know what you mean...  You mean you don't want it to get out somehow that the support group might let out that you have your kids there?  Isn't there some sort of privacy policy in place?  I mean, people don't go around nosing about to find out whose kids are doing what, are they?  If there was no privacy, I could see why things would be hard to do... But wouldn't it be better for you and your kids, if you said, "Screw what they think, I need support!"  ?  

Does the support group offer an outreach, as in, do they offer support outside of the actual building?  Can you email to ask if they come to the houses, and if there is a privacy policy?  Anyone in a doctor/therapist is not, by law, allowed to go blathering people's private issues to the rest of the world.  Because they would totally get their asses kicked in a lawsuit or other legal procedure, or lose their license, get fined, or whatever, etc...

I suppose ultimately you have to weigh...  Is it worth NOT going to the support so you can avoid someone you don't give a darn about knowing your business?


----------



## daisy (Sep 27, 2011)

I am talking about a support group for me....anxiety type group. I don't want to show up and see parents of my husband students there and then have to talk about my issues. These things are private, and the truth will only mess up my mask of "everything is just fine" Ya know?


----------



## H011yHawkJ311yBean (Sep 28, 2011)

Um, but aren't those parents also needing support?   Is the support one-on-one, or does it have to be group therapy?   Can you at least email to ask about it?  Maybe they could schedule you to come in at times that no one else would see you or come to your house if it is a small enough community?

Ah, our family was one of those  "everything is just fine" families.  In public anyway.  Now I'm in therapy because we were supposed to be some sort of superhuman perfect family.  lol


----------

