# My 5 year old daughter threatened to kill herself



## kirstykimberlee (Dec 19, 2009)

Hi. My name is Kirsty and I'm 35 years old. Three days ago my daughter had a tantrum that escalated into a horrible horrible situation. Isobel is a very good child. I'm blessed. Three days ago Is wasn't allowed to have an ice cream of her choice. She ended up getting into trouble and being sent to her room where she proceeded to trash it. I got angrier and closed the door to her room.By this stage i was very angry and could not be near her.I went outside for a  breath of fresh air. When i came back inside she was still screaming at us ( me and her dad). Then she said " I'm going to kill myself and when you get up in the morning Mum, my blood will be all over the floor"........." I want to murder you and dad and just be a murderer "..These were the exact words she used. It has chilled me to the bone and i cant stop thinking about it. 
Has anyone on this forum EVER come across such a thing from a child so young

? Issy is a well mannered very social girl who is not exposed to any violence or anything or anywhere she would hear this kind of talk. It felt as though she was possessed.. Her eyes were crazy...Im at a total loss..Our local Dr is on holidays and i plan to speak to her long daycare centre as soon as possible...

Thanks for your time, Kirsty


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## Andy (Dec 19, 2009)

*Re: My 5 yr old daughter threatened to kill herself *



kirstykimberlee said:


> Then she said " Im going to kill myself and when you get up in the morning Mum, my blood will be all over the floor"........." I want to murder you and dad and just be a murderer "..
> 
> ...Issy is a well mannered very social girl who is not exposed to any violence or anything or anywhere she would hear this kind of talk.



Welcome kirstykimberlee:beer2:

That must have been a horrible and shocking thing to hear coming from your five your old little girl. :support:

I can give you my thoughts on this but I am not a professional at all, so they are just that, my thoughts.

I'm thinking that Issy may have heard or seen on t.v something like this somewhere. Kids pick up all kinds of things.  The only reason I think this is because there aren't many 5 year olds that just know the term murder/murderer and if they do you wouldn't think they would know to use it in the correct context like Issy did. Just my opinion, I am hoping someone from PsychLinks will correct me if I am wrong.

By saying that I am not saying you or your husband directly showed her anything like this, I just mean she could have seen it or heard it anywhere. Walking through a store and a video being on a t.v for sale, or being at a friends house, or hearing it from a friend... 

Have you sat her down and asked her where she would have seen/heard something like that before? Not asking her like she is in trouble but just asking her out of concern. 

I wouldn't panic just yet, It may be she is just mimicking something. I'm not saying to just blow it off, definitely not. Especially, if she can't tell you where she learned that.

I don't know if it's something to be really concerned about for sure so I will let someone else answer that, but I think getting in to see her Dr., maybe to get a referral to a child psychologist, wouldn't hurt.  

With all that said, I do not have children so I could be taking this a little to lightly.  I'm not sure where you are but it's early morning in Canada so more people should be on to offer up some other ideas in a few hours.

Good luck, and unless this continues or really escalates I hope you can enjoy the holidays with her until her Dr. gets back. :support: Take care.


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## David Baxter PhD (Dec 19, 2009)

*Re: My 5 yr old daughter threatened to kill herself *

Young children are sponges for information - she may have picked up these ideas anywhere. It's not unusual for children when they are angry to say, "I hate you and I wish you were dead". However, the graphic details she added and the fact that she alluded both to suicide and homicide is a bit out of the ordinary.

It's possible she heard something on the news almost anywhere. There have been a few murder-suicide incidents as well as the trial of a young teenager who murdered his mother on the news recently. 

On the other hand, it wouldn't hurt to have her seen by a child psychiatrist or child psychologist for evaluation. (Note the emphasis on the word *child* in both cases, since assessing and working with children that young is a specialty.) If nothing else, it would reassure you.


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## Banned (Dec 19, 2009)

*Re: My 5 yr old daughter threatened to kill herself *

Hi Kirsty,

I agree with STP and Dr. Baxter that children that age are so easily influenced and it's possible that she is simply repeating something she heard elsewhere.  She might not even know what she's saying, but it's also worth getting checked out.   When I was younger I used to tell my mom that I hated her and she couldn't tell me what to do.  Then I escalated to if I didnt' get my own way I'd kill myself.  Children are often learning what works and what doesnt' to get their own way.  I knew at a young age I was extremely manipulative and did whatever I had to to get my own way.  My parents did take me to a psychiatrist and I said exactly what I knew he wanted to hear.

My point, I suppose, is that you are right to be concerned and want to get things checked out.  I would too.  I guess also I want to reassure you that what is happening may not be completely uncommon and, well, I turned out ok so hopefully things will work out for you and your daughter in the long run.

Good luck to you.


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## Freckles (Dec 19, 2009)

*Re: My 5 yr old daughter threatened to kill herself *

Hi Kirsty,

I know that this must have been very scary for you. I'm the mommy of three young ones and I know just how much we worry over them. I think that Dr. Baxter has a great point. My son will say things sometimes that he hears on the television. It's amazing what they can pick up, even from other children. 

I hope that you've been able to find comfort and are settling in for a great Christmas movie or snuggle on the couch with your family by now.  Let us know how things are going when you know more.


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## kirstykimberlee (Dec 19, 2009)

*Re: My 5 yr old daughter threatened to kill herself *

Thank you all for the replies...Yes the TV can be a HUGE influence on our bubs...I will speak to her DR when he returns on monday ( tomorrow)...And Persona, I was same as you when i was little...All the best and Merry Chrissy...Kirsty


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## Banned (Dec 20, 2009)

*Re: My 5 yr old daughter threatened to kill herself *

Hi Kirsty,

Definitely do what you need to do for your own peace of mind.

Forgive me for asking if this is out of line, but is your daughter adopted?  That can open up a whole can of attachment issues that can fuel this type of behavior.  Again I apologize (to everyone) if this question is out of line, but it's one of the first things that popped into my mind.


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## Andy (Dec 20, 2009)

*Re: My 5 yr old daughter threatened to kill herself *

I think that is a fair and good question Persona. :goodjob:


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## kirstykimberlee (Dec 20, 2009)

*Re: My 5 yr old daughter threatened to kill herself *

Not a prob Persona... No she is not...Both my partner and i have only one child (Issy)...Tho between us weve indured 12 miscarrages...


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