# If you only had one week to live......



## shatteredspirit (Apr 7, 2005)

My T asked me this question  "If I knew this was the last week of my life, what would I do"?  I think she was surprised at my answer, when she asked it, I yelled out "Thank God"!!!  Then said, I would sit on the curb and wait for the bus to pick me up and take me out of here!!

I have asked others this same question, since my T was surprised at my answer, and I was surprised that others wouldn't react that way.

What's so wrong with not wanting to be here?  How would others answer this question?  

After talking to my T about it she said some would want to get things in order for their children.  That makes sense, but I don't have children, my husband works, I stay home.  I don't really have anyone that depends on me, thank God.  Some said they would want to get their family and loved ones together for their last days.  I say screw my family, they don't care anyway.

Hmmmm........do I have an attitude problem???  This whole life on earth seems like a cruel joke anyway, so where does the bus stop, I'm ready.


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## Daniel (Apr 7, 2005)

> "If I knew this was the last week of my life, what would I do"?



I would probably do some form of escapism to help take my mind off my impending death, such as watching TV, reading, or taking a vacation.  I wouldn't be having long, dramatic conversations with family members like in the movie _In the Gloaming_.

I guess the question can help some people discuss their priorities in life.


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## David Baxter PhD (Apr 8, 2005)

This was addressed in an episode of _The Simpsons_ where Homer thought he only had 24 houirs left -- he made a list and then started checking them off the next day...


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## RBM (Apr 15, 2005)

I'd be sad.

I'm not a person that ever wanted to die but my mental problems and lonliness cause me to hate my life someties, but I have a tiny bit of hope stored away somewhere.


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## Daniel (Apr 15, 2005)

More info about the Simpsons episode where Homer believes he has 24 hours to live:



> The premise of the episode is taken from the film D.O.A., where a man learns he has been poisoned.
> 
> After staying up all night, Homer survives and goes on to live his life exactly as he did before--watching TV and eating salty treats.
> 
> ...



A good movie with a somewhat similar, existential theme is _Groundhogs Day_ where Bill Murray's character learns to appreciate the little things in life and take his ego less seriously.  A philosophy book with a similar theme is _Very Little...Almost Nothing: Death, Philosophy, Literature_ by Simon Critchley.  Like the movie _Groundhogs Day_, the book seems to value everyday existence more than notions of achievement and the demands of tomorrow.


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## healthbound (Apr 23, 2005)

I liked reading this thread.

One of the positive things I can derive from my traumas is to really appreciate life.  Seeing and experiencing really sad and scary things has really made me aware of what truly matters to me in my life.  I am grateful for this because I often live my life “as if it were my last week”.  As a result I generally don’t stay “stuck” in situations that are not good for me or my son (eg a job or relationship).

However, this way of thinking/living does make me pretty intense about what I think is important.  For me it is my son, first and foremost.

Secondly, and most recently I have decided that I would like to somehow contribute to improving the lack of financing, awareness and support for mental illness.

Although, after saying that, honestly, I think I would make arrangements for my son and just spend time with him.  I’d also spend a small portion of time really thinking about any guilt I was carrying around and take corrective action by making amends to anyone I felt I needed to make amends to.

I’d want to leave proud and confident that I had done everything I needed to do so I could rest easy wherever I go.

Hmmmm….maybe I let go of some of that guilt now so if the time should arise, I can simply spend it with my son?  I am happy about how much time I spend with my son right now, but I do have some guilt that I could get rid of


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## witsend (Apr 24, 2005)

*1 week.........*

If I only had one week to live.  I'd thank my few close friends for being there.  Then I'd enjoy my last few days, in fact, with the life I have had, even welcome the passing of the next 7 days with open arms!


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## ^^Phoenix^^ (Apr 25, 2005)

The simpsons rule!! (man i sound like the jocks you see on the movies)

witsend, I think I've been where it sounds you are... not particularly intent on death, but not to bothered about life either.  I sometimes still feel this way, even though I am quite attached to my life, (i.e., fiance, school, etc).  I don't think I would term your lack of emotion an attitue problem at all.  If the way you feel is NOT making you or others around you unhappy, then just allow yourself to get through it.  I don't think it is necessary for you to feel or think how other people deam normal.  Just keep an eye open for signs that your feelings could deepen into something hurtful or physically dangerous to yourself.


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## healthbound (Apr 29, 2005)

I actually felt a bit bad after I posted because it's only been within the last 2 months that I've felt like I wanted to live.

I've been suicidal at 2 points in my life.  After my sister died and within the last year and a half.  I knew why I was feeling as awful as I was after my sister's death, but there was no major traumatic event that triggered my severe depression this last time.  Sometimes life really sucks and sometimes there seems like a good reason for it and sometimes there doesn't.

Hang in there, Witsend.  I don't know much about your experiences, but I do know what it's like to not enjoy life and not want to live.


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## witsend (Apr 29, 2005)

*Healthbound*

Thanks for your words of encouragement my friend!  My original posting is still on here under depression--those same problems exist--only compounded daily......thanks again and I wish you a speedy process in your quest for happiness!  It is so hard to focus on, I know, been there--BUT if we can concentrate that they (your sister) are in a much better place---it helps some, but it does not take away the degree of sadness which you feel, I'm sure.  Focus on the good times and moments which I am sure you had together and find peace in knowing-that perhaps you were fortunate enough to have had her in your "inner circle"--stay in touch!


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## healthbound (Apr 30, 2005)

Thanks for your support witsend!


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## Daniel (Aug 6, 2005)

My favorite lesson from this thought experiment ("If you only had one week to live?") is that simple pleasures may be more meaningful by realizing they don't last forever: 



> ...The activities of daily living--which we take for granded when the body is healthy--become of major concern and value when the body is dying...Simple everyday events--such as favorite foods, music, rides in a car, or views of natire--are symbols of life itself to the dying.
> 
> A Few Months to Live by Jana Staton, pg. 172


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## mochilero (Aug 22, 2005)

*24 hours*

A good friend once told me that she hoped that if she learned she was about to die, she'd change nothing. Her thinking was that if you are living right and happy,there would be nothing to change. 

She was young, and I hope that such idealism didn't turn into disillusionment and biterness, as it often seems to.

Even happy people change what they do according to circumstances and what they know. As for myself, I would propbably spend my time looking  for a way to not die.


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## cathyp (Aug 23, 2005)

Honestly, I would hop on a plane with my bf family and thats it and I would travel to places I wanted to go.  Spend a lot of money and eat a lot of great fattening foods, and sleep like never before.
Knowing you are going to die in a week you wouldnt have to worry about bills, car payments mortgages, money, anything.  Just enjoy the time I have left with the people who matter the most and have fun.


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## Meagan (Sep 14, 2005)

"If I knew this was the last week of my life, what would I do"? 

I would first of all "QUIT MY JOB!"  I would take my mom out west to see my brother, met with friends, make amends where needed, spend the rest of my time with my mother.

I do not fear death because I believe I'm going somewhere else and I will join others who passed before me.  The only thing that I think would really bother me is leaving my mom.  She and I are very close and I know it would be devasting for her to lose one of her children before her.


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## John (Sep 20, 2005)

healthbound said:
			
		

> I liked reading this thread.
> 
> One of the positive things I can derive from my traumas is to really appreciate life.  Seeing and experiencing really sad and scary things has really made me aware of what truly matters to me in my life.  I am grateful for this because I often live my life “as if it were my last week”.  As a result I generally don’t stay “stuck” in situations that are not good for me or my son (eg a job or relationship).
> 
> ...



i'm with you on that last week, i'd spent it with my sons, and get rid of my guilt. (some anger too) but with well chosen words, not violence 

Daniel "value everyday existence more than notions of achievement and the demands of tomorrow" i love that part in your post 

i have been doing that everyday since i had an overwhelming feeling of suicide some 36 days ago, i grinned my face off when i read it, "Thank You"


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## John (Sep 20, 2005)

healthbound said:
			
		

> I liked reading this thread.
> 
> One of the positive things I can derive from my traumas is to really appreciate life.  Seeing and experiencing really sad and scary things has really made me aware of what truly matters to me in my life.  I am grateful for this because I often live my life “as if it were my last week”.  As a result I generally don’t stay “stuck” in situations that are not good for me or my son (eg a job or relationship).
> 
> ...



i'm with you on that last week, i'd spent it with my sons, and get rid of my guilt. (some anger too) but with well chosen words, not violence 

Daniel "value everyday existence more than notions of achievement and the demands of tomorrow" i love that part in your post 

i have been doing that everyday since i had an overwhelming feeling of suicide some 36 days ago, i grinned my face off when i read it, "Thank You"


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## Muscle Militia (Sep 21, 2005)

Aint nothin wrong with not wantng to be here - as long as you don’t check out. You simply realize you cant polish a turd! 
Life will not break your heart. It'll crush it if you let it though. It'll destroy you if you try to make it mean anything. That is the key - we are animals, soon we will be the same as road kill, it doesnt have to mean anything. Those who love life simply love life, not the stuff that accompanies it. I say live as though you’re gonna die - cos you are!! Life hurts, the trick is to not let the pain turn inward. Use it. I think about the meaning of pain. Pain is personal. It really belongs to the one feeling it. Probably the only thing that is your own. I like mine. The best revenge on life is to survive and find the simple pleasures. I think it’s funny half of life is fucking up - the other half is paying for it.
There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall, so many laws to keep you from experience. I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case." I will turn and say to them "It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that. For your self-torture, I   will have enjoyed ivery breath I take!" And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup. 
Life is hard - We buy more yet own less. Faster cars yet less time. Wide screen TV’s yet narrow views.Bigger saleries yet shorter tempers.We have added years to our life, but not life to our years. We are better educated but know less, more information yet have less judgement. We collect items of value, yet reduce our own values. Can fly to the moon but cant cure prejudice. We have bigger dreams but smaller minds. Steep learning curves yet shallow character. We make beautiful houses but have broken homes. High bandwith internet commincation, yet communicate less. Envy money, but dont enjoy the money have. Health is the least envied untill it’s gone. A million pills for every simptom yet ignore for the cause. More experts, yet more problems. Fast food and less time to eat. We weigh more but our opinions carry less weight. Listen but dont hear. As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...I love every second.

If I had one week to live I don’t know what I would do. But I can guaratee I won’t go with out a fight!


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## David Baxter PhD (Sep 21, 2005)

> Life will not break your heart. It'll crush it if you let it though. It'll destroy you if you try to make it mean anything. That is the key - we are animals, soon we will be the same as road kill, it doesnt have to mean anything.


I'll vigorously disagree with this part. So would Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and concentration camp survivor who wrote _Man's Search for Meaning_. When you are able to identify, create, find meaning in your life, you can survive pretty much anything. Without that, you'll have great difficulty persevering.

Your life obviously has great meaning to you, Militia Man, whether you realize it or not. It is inherent in what you say and the way you say it.


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## Muscle Militia (Sep 21, 2005)

My life is important on a massive level. My point is life does not have to mean anything - the point is living itself. Many believe they are here for a reason - what if that reason was to simply enjoy the time you are here?
The Kurds believe if you look at anything long enough you will find beauty. My point is often the meaning is there is no meaning. we can over look the obvious. There is so much that is fantastic if you know where to look. When life haded me a lemon i was like "yeah, I like lemons - what else ya got?" I have had a tough and very bumpy journey through life - doesn't have to add up to anything at the end.


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## Into The Light (Dec 17, 2007)

if i only had a week left to live i would quit work, tie up most important loose ends (will etc)., and spend time/say goodbye to those who matter most to me.


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## sunset (Dec 17, 2007)

I have thought about this question, and I honestly think if I found out I had a week to live, I would be totally freaked and scared.  Hopefully I wouldnt just drop on the spot, given the bad news..
If for some reason, I am taking it as well as could be and functioning, I first off would not go back to work. I would give all my things to who I want to have them, tell family and friends that I love them and what I wish for them. I wouldnt want them unhappy, and to live the best life they can.
I would eat all my favorite foods, empty out my bank account and pay for the upcoming funeral and give the rest to my mother. My IRA is already set up, so I would tell my 2 sisters about that and what they have coming. 
I would want to spend a few days if possible swimming and lounging in the waters of the Bahamas and have lots to drink and eat..

Not reality, but you asked.  
It is an interesting question....


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## Blaze (Dec 17, 2007)

It is a very interesting question and I don't think that you were wrong to answer in the way that you did, shatteredspirit.

I suppose that I would spent it somewhere that I really loved or wanted to visit.  Right now that would be Greece, Utah (where I grew up), Maui, or Egypt.  Then I would just want to relax and be with my boyfriend and close friends, doing the things we love and enjoying the moments.  I would also probably be happy as well.  Death is something so freaky and sad here in the United States, other cultures are so open and happy about death.

I don't know why we have to fear death, it's just another adventure and more than likely it would be the complete relief from all that is negative in this world.  I imagine the moment before you die you are filled with complete warmth and you suddenly feel this total and power feeling of relief.  That's just my two cents though.


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## Peanut (Dec 17, 2007)

It IS an interesting question and it would probably be different for everyone...when I was going to see a therapist for quite a while all of a sudden he started taking all of these vacations. At first I thought it was a little excessive, but then I found out his wife was dying of cancer at a young age. Initially he talked about how much he loved her frequently but never mentioned she was dying. But anyhow, I realized all these vacations were probably her last vacations. It was a matter of months, but when the time got closer, they went to see her family. Then in the final weeks, her family came and stayed with them. It was heart wrenching to watch but also an inspirational depiction of dying with love all around you and also with dignitiy and bravery. It almost makes me cry to think about it...


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## bbjjre (Dec 18, 2007)

If I had one week to live I would:

Ensure that my children had a proper female role growing up (i.e asking a female to provide a mother role)

Make sure my husband and children knew that I'd always be with them in spirit

Make video for my children. One tape for every one of their birthdays, that they could watch every year on their birthday. A special message from there mom, something for them to look forward to. 

Tell the important people in my life how much they mean to me.


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## Banned (Dec 19, 2007)

I would make sure my dogs had good homes lined up in the event my parents didn't want them.

I would make sure my financial affairs were tied up - the home, the business, vehicles, etc.

I would stay in bed because that is my favourite place to be, with the exception of having a living wake so I could see everyone one last time and thank them for being a part of my life.

I would probably spend quite a bit of time at church too - it's the one place in my life that brings me comfort when it is not jam-packed.

I would clean my room, so it wouldn't be too painful for my parents.


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## sister-ray (Dec 19, 2007)

I would make sure my budgies had a good home to go too that would be the most important thing ,,  i would try to sell or give away my possessions, to my friend here or charity ,, I wouldnt settled any bills or debts as it wouldnt matter I dont care about the banks and heating companys,, and I have no dependants or family so they would have to write them off anyway,, i would say goodbye to my one friend here and those online and then I would go out with my last lot of money and smoke and drink and do exactly what I want, it wouldnt matter what I did, I might do something to get myself noticed, get on the telly in the papers, go out in style have my 15 mins of fame as andy warhol said I would do something to make sure no one forgot me!!


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