# Is Technology Making Us Distracted, Detached, and Depressed?



## David Baxter PhD (Mar 25, 2016)

*Is Technology Making Us Distracted, Detached and Depressed?*
by Erin Blaskie
March 24, 2016

Recently, I found myself in a house with not a whole lot to do.

 Sure, there were the usual distractions like my iPhone, iPad and  laptop but outside of that, my choices were quite limited. I found this  to be quite peaceful, at times, and I napped_ a lot_. Way more  than I would have if I were at home, surrounded by piles of laundry, my  gaming consoles, my home office, that sink full of dirty dishes, that  DIY project I?ve been meaning to do? you get the point. I have a lot of  distractions in my usual space and a very, very long to-do list.

 So, here I am, in this _House of No Distractions_, night is coming down on me and *I?m freaking out*.

 Full on anxiety is grabbing hold of my body, I?m short tempered,  short of breath, battling a completely dry mouth and I?m wanting to run.  The thought of grabbing my car keys and driving two hours back to the  safety (and distraction) of my own house crosses my mind a hundred times  in those ten minutes. I grapple with sleep and although I eventually  win, it?s not an easily fought battle. I fall into a fitful sleep that I  come in and out of at least fifty times throughout the night.

 My brain makes up a hundred reasons as to why I?m feeling this way.  I?m pinning it on the paint fumes from the house, the choices I?ve made  in the past twelve months, the overwhelming list I have back home, the  fact that I haven?t been fully present in my business over the weekend, I  miss my daughter and I?m wondering what she?s doing and I?m wondering  if I?ve ever done anything right in my entire life. *Full on existential crisis happening at 1am in the complete darkness*.

 My brain tries to rationalize away the enormous amount of anxiety  with reasons as to why I?m feeling this way but the truth of the matter  is: *it?s the first time I?ve let my mind think a thought without shoving it aside and replacing it with something*.  You see, when I?m surrounded by 1,000 distractions, they are easy to  pull in and place in front of me to quickly replace whatever it was that  felt a little _bad_. ?Oh, that doesn?t feel so good? I wonder if my crops are ready in Hay Day??

*Switching gears and satiating my brain with progress and  production, even in the form of a video game, is a GOOD feeling versus  the BAD feeling that existed just moments before.* The stress  and anxiety SUCKS whereas playing a game and getting rewarded for simple  things like growing crops feels AMAZING. I?ll take good over bad any  day, wouldn?t you?

 Well? _maybe not_.

*Distracted From Feeling*
 It?s not that I?m having an existential crisis at 1am in the dark?  it?s not that I?m a terrible human being who has made terrible choices  and ended up in a place of total chaos, it?s just that *I haven?t  given myself the time and space to FEEL what I need to feel in order to  process my bad feelings into good or better feelings*. I?ve distracted myself out of the time and space I need to understand what the heck is _ACTUALLY_ going on.

*And holy Hannah, have we been distracting ourselves out of  understanding a WHOLE LOT since the introduction of personal, hand-held  electronics.*

 Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, e-mail, messenger, Reddit, Imgur, work, Netflix, text messages? *we distract ourselves instead of understanding how to be alone with our thoughts*.  Understanding the value that exists in spending time with those  thoughts, processing them, feeling the feelings and getting over the  hump of the EMOTIONAL FREAKOUT, is critical.

*When we distract ourselves away from our emotions 90% of the  time, the 10% of the time that we don?t feels like a massive spike /  surge of emotions and feelings and processing all at once. It?s no  wonder we freak the hell out. *

 Here?s a perfect analogy: you?re clothed 100% of the time in public,  yes? Imagine if all of a sudden that number dropped to 90% of the time  and 10% of the time, unbeknownst to you and without the ability to plan  for it, you were all of a sudden naked. Exposed. Vulnerable. Would you  freak out? Absolutely.

*Well, this is EXACTLY what we?re doing to our brains. We?re  exposing them 10% of the time to something so foreign ? the processing  requirements that we require to maintain our sanity ? and we?re creating  a vulnerable, exposed brain that has no idea to handle what we?ve just  done to it.*

*A Culture of Distractions*
 In a presentation done by Joe Kraus, he talked about how we?re creating a culture of distractions. Here?s an excerpt that echoes what I?m referring to:

_We are creating and encouraging a  culture of distraction where we are increasingly disconnected from the  people and events around us, and increasingly unable to engage in  long-form thinking. People now feel anxious when their brains are  unstimulated._
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*?People now feel anxious when their brains are unstimulated.?*

 BOOM.

 There are some other incredible gems from his talk:

_Sherry Turkle, an MIT professor who  studies technology and society. ?We are lonely but fearful of intimacy.  Digital connections offer the illusion of companionship without the  demands of friendship. We expect more from technology and less from each  other.?_
​
 and
_Where?s the #1 reported place where  people get insight? The shower. Why the shower? In the shower, there?s  not much else to do. We?re relaxed. Our mind wanders but it?s not  constantly being bombarded with new information._
​
 I could quote the entire presentation but there?s a great video over on his blog post so I?d HIGHLY recommend you take some time to watch it.



*Learning more about this detrimental side effects of  distractions born from technology is not just for our own benefit. It  also helps us to relate to our fellow humans better, too.*

 Think about the last time you felt something negative or bad ? did  you have someone you could turn to who could hold the space for that  emotion judgement-free? Do you have people in your life who will accept  and love you unconditionally, even when you are having a minor meltdown  or a freak out? Or, do you feel _apologetic_ when those moments  occur? If you do, it may be that the people around you are out of touch  with their own emotions, too, and have no idea how to handle yours when  they show up in their purest form.

*Distractions are causing many of us to detach from each  other, only wanting to be an active part of each other?s lives when it?s  satiating and stimulating to our brains in a positive way.* When things get ?tough?, we do what we do online ? we move to the next thing that _is_ pleasing to our brains. We don?t always hold the space for each other to express our full range of emotions.

*Making Friends with Our Feelings*
 Okay, so, imagine now a world in which we have far less distractions.  Imagine if we sat with our thoughts a whole lot more often and gave  them some time to process? would that make those emotional spikes feel a  lot less foreign and scary? More than likely. *Anything familiar is much easier to handle than something unknown and terrifying.*

Irene Lyon  talks about this all the time ? having awareness and bringing that  awareness back into your body. She?s extremely intelligent and VERY  passionate about her work so I trust that what she has to say is rather  solid. If you?re intrigued by the science behind awareness and learning  some pretty awesome exercises to move through your chaos, check out her website.

 Here?s what my non-scientifically backed, simply-going-on-experience brain thinks: *we need to give ourselves more time to think*.  More time to process. More time to hear our own thoughts echo around in  those skulls of ours so that we can get a litmus test on where we?re  at, how we?re feeling and what we need.

*Oh, and we need to figure out how to be okay when those thoughts scream back something hurtful or ?scary.?*  That may be saying, ?Oh hey there bad emotion? I see you? and I?m not  afraid of you!? (This is my alone-in-the-dark tactic, by the way.) Or,  it may be allowing ourselves to feel and express whatever emotion  surfaces so that we can become familiar with the  less-than-awesome-feeling.

 Finally, *we need to give each other TONS of support and the container for expression*.  This means having that tough conversation, letting a friend express  their full range of emotions, dropping what we?re doing to just sit with  someone ? even if it is in silence ? and putting people before  technology. Not just once in awhile, as often as we possibly can. The  more we hold that space for others, the better we?ll get at recognizing  our own range of emotions.

 How we become familiar with our emotions, thoughts and feelings is up  to each of us, I suppose. That might look like meditation or quiet time  or long walks in the woods or simply turning off everything and lying  still in the dark. *What it doesn?t look like is shoving more stuff in front of our faces in an attempt to digitally run away and hide from ourselves.*  That?s the fastest way to become so out of touch that when an unknown  or foreign part of ourselves pops up, we?re sent in a downward spiral to  FREAK OUT CITY.

 All that said, I?ve suffered my own bouts of depression and I know  that in those moments, thinking (and over-thinking) often made  my anxiety worse. So, this isn?t a prescription for those of you who  suffer with depression or anxiety. There are definitely other avenues  that are better journeyed in those situations. When you?re anxious and  depressed, _healthy_ distractions (creative outlets, for example, like painting, drawing, writing poems or singing) can actually be useful.

*Where to Go From Here*
 So, will we continue to be a distracted society with our  notifications and hand-held devices? Absolutely. It?s only going to get  worse, I think.

 I?m making a much more conscious effort these days to build in a lot  of distraction-free time and I?m making sure I do the same for my  daughter, too. *Time to feel the wide range of emotions ? good, bad, ugly and terrifying ? so that I can become familiar with them all.*  That way, when a part of me pops up that doesn?t make an appearance as  often, I?m not taken by surprise and knocked off my feet.

 I?m also trying to carve out as much space as I can to be a much more  open, loving, acceptable and tuned in person for the people around me.  While I?m not perfect at it, and they aren?t either, I?m grateful that  it is at least a part of my general awareness now.

 The first step to changing anything is having the tiny ember of  thought ignite in your brain. This post is simply to help blow a bit  more oxygen on my ember so that it turns into a raging fire that I can?t  ignore. Maybe it?ll spark something in you, too.

_More from Erin Blaskie at Blog | Erin Blaskie | Creative Business Support for Whole-Hearted Entrepreneurs _


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## bloodwood (May 10, 2016)

There is an interesting book out. The author was on CBC the other day talking about the issue and the need. She talks a lot about the cost of not having ideal leisure time to reflect and process memories.

How to be Bored
Eva Hoffman

How to Be Bored by Eva Hoffman


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