# "What's the use?"



## ladylore (Jul 23, 2008)

I am wondering if anyone has successfully replaced the 'What's the use" thought with something more positive that you actually believe?

I am asking this for a reason. I find myself thinking this more often lately. The specific situation, complete thought - "Yes I can come and here and talk about my feelings and have them validated but if no action will be taken - what's the use." (This has nothing to do with Psychlinks.)

Any suggestions?


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## Halo (Jul 23, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*

That is a great question Ladylore and I wish that I had a good answer or some words of widsom to share with you, but unfortunately I don't.  I too struggle with that same question and have yet to come up with a good counter or positive response that I do believe...most I repeat to myself but I don't really believe yet.

I will be interested to hear others responses though.

Take care
:hug: :friends:


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## Daniel (Jul 23, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*

In the movie _I Heart Huckabees_, Dustin Hoffman's character runs around saying "Not nothing!"   I have gotten a lot of mileage out of those two words.


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## Cat Dancer (Jul 23, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*

Maybe everything in life has meaning? Everything we say and do. Even if it's just something like laundry or eating a meal. There's a goal to get to? 

I don't know. I guess I haven't successfully replaced those words either. I like the "not nothing" that Daniel suggested. There's another phrase but it escapes me at the moment. If I think of it I'll be back.


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## Into The Light (Jul 23, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*

"not nothing" seems to really resonate with me. i hope it still will when i feel everything is hopeless again.


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## Retired (Jul 23, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*



> I am wondering if anyone has successfully replaced the 'What's the use" thought with something more positive that you actually believe?



Are you talking about feelings of hopelessness while in a depressive crash, or when one's mood is not distorted by depression.

Here's what I hang on to as the fuel for my life:

family, friends, love, long life, and a never ending to-do list. 

There are never enough hours in the day for me to get done what I hope to do, what I plan to do and what I need to do...and that's _what the use _is for me.


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## Lana (Jul 23, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*

I tended to use "What's the use" when I gave up on something. So one way to turn that around is to consider what it is you're giving up when you think in those terms.   So in essense, it meant "I'm only going to fail so what's the use, I'll just fail now without trying"

I found that that phrase kept me from doing things that are good for me, handing control of me and my life to someone or something harmful, and letting the badness win. I'm a bit....err...independant....OK, a lot independant and really hate being boxed in by anyone or anything, especially if it makes me feel bad. Sooo...."What's the use" was not an option. Instead it was "I decide what happens to me, not you/them", or "I'd rather crash and burn on my own then sit idly by and let it tear me apart", and my favorite quote that I read somewhere, "I refuse to let something that matters most be at mercy of something [or someone] that matters least"


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## ladylore (Jul 23, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*

You have given me some things to think about guys - so thanks. 

Steve - It is when I am in a crash but also when I am out of one too. When I am enraged and I want to throw my arms up and scream "whats the use". Its comes from a place of feeling like I am not being heard. A place inside that says that _actions_ should follow an expression of feeling. Ex - I say I am hurt by such and such and this is how I feel and this is what I would like, needs to be followed with actions of fixing that hurt by the other person. 

I don't know if this makes sense - it comes from a feeling of frustration. Why bother expressing how I am feeling if nothing is going to be done to fix the situation.

Daniel - I like the "not nothing" too.  And honestly I am still trying to wrap my head around it. 

I am also asking question because this is a place which is the beginning of a crash cycle, so it is a bit of preventative medicine. But I am all out of ideas on how to replace this one with a healthier life construct.

Ok - I am done going on and on and on.


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## ladylore (Jul 23, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*



Lana said:


> I'm a bit....err...independant....OK, a lot independant and really hate being boxed in by anyone or anything, especially if it makes me feel bad. Sooo...."What's the use" was not an option. Instead it was "I decide what happens to me, not you/them", or "I'd rather crash and burn on my own then sit idly by and let it tear me apart", and my favorite quote that I read somewhere, "I refuse to let something that matters most be at mercy of something [or someone] that matters least"



I knew there was a reason I liked you so much. :yeahthat: is sooo me!


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## BluMac81 (Aug 4, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*



ladylore said:


> I am wondering if anyone has successfully replaced the 'What's the use" thought with something more positive that you actually believe?
> 
> I am asking this for a reason. I find myself thinking this more often lately. The specific situation, complete thought - "Yes I can come and here and talk about my feelings and have them validated but if no action will be taken - what's the use." (This has nothing to do with Psychlinks.)
> 
> Any suggestions?



The answer to "What's the use..." is that "The use is making the most out of the gift that is your human life."  
At least that's my answer!


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## ladylore (Aug 5, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*

Good answer.


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## Retired (Aug 5, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*



> "The use is making the most out of the gift that is your human life."



Profound comment and worth pondering!


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## Halo (Aug 5, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*



BluMac81 said:


> "The use is making the most out of the gift that is your human life."



That is a great answer so long as the depression has not clouded or distorted the thinking of the person so that they can no longer see the gift that their life really is.


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## ladylore (Aug 5, 2008)

*Re: "What's the use"*



Halo said:


> That is a great answer so long as the depression has not clouded or distorted the thinking of the person so that they can no longer see the gift that their life really is.



Your right about that Halo. I was in a worse place when I posted this thread and nothing seemed like a gift then. But now that I am in a better place, it is a great answer.


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