# how could this happen



## kels23 (Jul 25, 2005)

im so confused
i got a call yesterday from my mom 
she said ryan had shot himself in the head
ryan is my brother
i dont know how this happened 
im so lost
all these years he protected me and now there is no one 
he was the one who stopped me from taking my own life and now he leaves me
please god take this pain away
i dont know what do do


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## Lawz (Jul 25, 2005)

Oh Kels, You must be in so much pain.   You only just came to this site a few days ago, so it is meant to be at this time, there will be people here to help you.  My mother mentioned to me yesterday the feeling of someone close to you doing this (her husband) she said nobody would understand unless they'd been there.  I don't know what you should do either but you'll get some support here.  Let yourself grieve.  Love 2 U.


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## Suzette (Jul 25, 2005)

Dear Kels,

I don't know what to say... 

I will light a candle for you and will pray for you.


Suzette

Please keep posting.


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## Heather (Jul 25, 2005)

Oh hun,

I am so so sorry that this has happened I can't even imagine what you are feeling right now, I mean it has been hard for me to see the suicides I have but to have this happen to your brother. I am so sorry it is just so unfair that you are left like this and are faced with this terrible tradgety.

You are in my thoughts.

Heather...


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## ThatLady (Jul 25, 2005)

Ahh, Kels. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It always hurts to lose someone you love, but to lose them this way hurts even more. Just remember, you have friends here...and support. Your brother didn't do this to you, love. He did it because he was ill. Allow yourself to grieve, then try to remember the good times you had with him. It will take some time, but you can get through this. We're here to help.

Hugs, love.


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## Heather (Jul 25, 2005)

I had a friend do this about 3 months ago and I felt that it was my fault as I could have done more and then I thought  hang on why did she do this to me she told me I wasn't allowed to do this, I remembered this after my other post had been trying to get rid of that thought. I dunno if that helps but you are not alone and as I already said you are in my thoughts.

Heather...


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## kels23 (Jul 27, 2005)

i just wanted to say thank you for the support, before i left


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## Lawz (Jul 27, 2005)

What do you mean Kels?


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## Heather (Jul 27, 2005)

Are you ok? Do you mean you are leaving the site? You have me worried now.


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## Daniel (Jul 27, 2005)

Publications about surviving suicide from the American Association of Suicidology:

SOS : A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide (36-page PDF) 
Survivor  Resources


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## lammers1980 (Jul 27, 2005)

I hope that you are able to get together with your family, and be able to support each other in these times of trouble.  After getting over the initial shock, it would seem to be advisable to speak with a therapist about your feelings so that you may be able to heal emotionally.

I remember when my sister's good friend died in this way how it caused such an intense form of grief.  

Please be strong, for those of you left need each other to get through this.


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## Link (Aug 4, 2005)

Hello,

I am very sorry for your loss. I wish you the best in dealing with this difficult time.

I wanted to respond to this topic, because I think it underscores a problem I have noticed that doesn't seem to get enough attention, in my opinion: people who commit suicide, or consider committing suicide, are often the last people you would expect. Some suicidal people are upset partially because they can't or won't talk to others about their problems, and often even people close to them have no idea how close they are to killing themselves. I know that when I was considering suicide, I told some people about it directly, but everyone else had no idea, even though I had an actual plan how to do it and I had already gotten the necesary supplies together. I think that the techniques that families, schools, and others use to recognize "potentially dangerous people" are often flawed. I don't have the answer to this problem, but I hope that mentioning it will at least provoke some discussion. Thanks for reading.


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