# Tired



## Ashley-Kate (Jun 3, 2008)

Feeling too week to go to work let alone get out of bed, every morning i fight against myself to convince my heart that people are counting on me cause my mind has already given up, i step in my office at work and it starts over, the smile the little giggle as the clients say a joke that is supposed to be funny but i fake the laughter cause i don't really know what is funny or not. I spend the night staring at the wal willing myself to fall asleep but unable too, thinking of everythign that i should have done better, everything i do just seems not good enough. I think i am sad but i really don't know anymore i just know that i am not happy.  I flirt with the idea of not beeing alive, yet i don't know if i really want to dye. In my heart i am completly against the hole idea of suicide but in my mind i don't really think i canlive like this the rest of my life!
ash


----------



## Halo (Jun 3, 2008)

*Re: tired*

AK,

I really think that you should talk to your doctor or therapist about what you are experiencing.  I can relate to a lot of what you wrote above and I know that when my depression is at its worst that I just can't seem to think straight or logical and work is the last place that I really want to be.  Is it possible for you to take some time off to catch up on some much needed rest?

Again, I really think that talking to your doctor and being honest with how you are feeling and possible starting on some medication would really help.  You don't need to do this alone.  We are all here to help as well.

Take care
:hug: :hug:


----------



## Cat Dancer (Jun 3, 2008)

*Re: tired*

Halo's right. Be totally honest with your doctor about how you're feeling and what symptoms you're experiencing. Also remember, medications can take some time to work. Please at least consider trying the medication again, maybe a different one. They really can help with depression and anxiety. Even eating disorders.


----------



## helpingothers (Jun 3, 2008)

*Re: tired*

I agree w/Halo.  Maybe you should see your doctor & describe the things that are going on right now for you.  He/she should be able to help you somehow.  

I have a client who recently was going through the same thing.  She took a medical leave from work so she could straighten herself out & relax a bit.  Part of the problem was that she was feeling overwhelmed & when she starts to feel overwhelmed, sometimes she's up all night & her depression kicks in.  It's worked so far.  She's been sleeping better & doesn't feel as overwhelmed so can concentrate on other things.  She's enjoying being herself right now.


----------



## Ashley-Kate (Jun 3, 2008)

*Re: tired*

Yeah, right now i feel like everythign is happening and well i am just watching it pass, i work 60 hours a week but i can't ask off really cause i am replacing another girl that is sick and can't work so they need me and i work at 2 places it is a bit hard to ask off at both places and to have the same days off.  I am seeing my psychiatrist next week and i think my socail worker will most likly be there cause she doesn'T think i will tell him everything, and well i plan on doing so. i know i need the help but as i do have an e-d taking meds wil not be the easiest thing to do.


----------



## Halo (Jun 4, 2008)

*Re: tired*

AK,

I am glad that you are seeing your Psychiatrist next week because I really think that you should talk to him about how you are feeling.  There really is no need to suffer.  I know that taking medications may be difficult but probably no more difficult than the pain that you are going through now.  If you find that you may have trouble telling him how you are feeling, try printing out your posts here which may help.

Take care AK and remember one minute at a time will get you through.
:hug: :hug:


----------



## SoSo (Jun 4, 2008)

I hope things will improve for you soon.
Feisty :hug:


----------



## Ashley-Kate (Jun 4, 2008)

i have an apointment tmorrow with a psychologist i saw about a year ago and had a good first impression of her so i decided to see her the time before i move out on my own! i am kind of nervous cause i don'T want people to worry! or over dramatise. to me this is no different than any other dayi have always felt sort of down it is just latly i feel a little bit more depressed or sad!


----------



## Halo (Jun 5, 2008)

AK,

How did your appointment go with your Psychologist today?  I hope it went well and you are doing okay.

Take care
:hug:


----------



## Ashley-Kate (Jun 5, 2008)

*Re: Hanging on...barely*

Well i spoke to my therapist today and she had a pretty good idea she wants me to go with her to this group she has ever wednesday as like a guest a bit and maybe to learn a bit on myself but mostly cause it is a groupe of adults people basicly over 40 years old that have difficulties such as mine and have had them for a very long time but having not treated them early it got worst and now they are almost irreversible and some will never change she wants me to see what it is like , that i am not "safe " i can't think that it won't happen to me it is sort of trynig to get a wake up call! i was hesitant at first but finally decided to go for it! hope it helps


----------



## Halo (Jun 5, 2008)

*Re: Hanging on...barely*

I think that it is really great that although you were hesitant to go that you did decide to do it.  It sounds like this may be something from which you will learn from and gain some insight.  I hope that it helps.

Were you able to be open and honest with your Psychologist about just how depressed you have been lately?


----------



## Ashley-Kate (Jun 5, 2008)

Yeah and it helped a lot that she didn't get mad or judge me , she was very understanding explained to me  what she thought of the hole thing. and well i really like her and thankfully she is going to be replacing the other one that is leaving and that i don't get along with at least until i move out


----------



## Halo (Jun 5, 2008)

I am really glad to hear that AK 

It is great when you have a therapist that is non-judgmental and understanding...it really makes a huge difference.


----------

