# The Power of Vulnerability: It's where courage meets fear



## David Baxter PhD (Nov 29, 2012)

The Power of Vulnerability: “It’s where courage meets fear”
by Kate Daigle
November 29, 2012

Close your eyes.  Take a deep breath.  Try to think about the last  time that you felt vulnerable.  What were the circumstances?  Do you  remember what it felt like?  How would you describe that feeling?  How  did the feeling show up in your body?

Was  it akin to: feeling open and naked, wondering if you are going to fall  off that very high limb that you just put yourself out on?  Out of  control?  Free-falling?  Terrifying?  Exposed?  These all might be words  to describe the feeling of vulnerability — among many others.  I’m  currently engrossed in Dr. Brene Brown‘s newest book: _Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead_  in which Dr. Brown spends a lot of time uncovering different facets of  vulnerability and tells her own story with this concept that many of us  seem to avoid.

 Dr. Brown’s definition of vulnerability invited me to pause and truly  reflect on my own relationship with being vulnerable.  She describes it  as:
_ “I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.  With that definition in mind, let’s think about love. Waking up every  day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we  can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s  notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow —  that’s vulnerability.”_
​
 Reading that might cause a ripple of anxiety go up and down your  spine.  Our society today has adopted a kind of fear mentality that  breeds anxiety and avoids vulnerability.  We have been through so much  in the past decade — war, violence, loss, recession — that we feel we  must protect ourselves.  But what Dr. Brown asserts, and what many of us  might now know, is that being vulnerable comes from a place of power.   ”Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, creativity, belonging, joy,  courage, and empathy.  It is the source of hope, accountability, and  authenticity.  If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and  more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path,” asserts Dr.  Brown.

 In short, vulnerability is feeling and feeling is connection to our life’s purpose.

 In perusing this, I reflected on my own life story and the character  that vulnerability has played.  What has it taught me?  How has it  helped me grow?  In exploring this, I am able to help my clients find  their own empowerment through vulnerability (while holding space for  fear of exploring this topic).

 Here are some things that I have done that have made me vulnerable:



started my own business 
explored my own emotions, feelings, and dark spots 
chosen recovery and didn’t look back 
fell in love 
used my voice and asserted myself with risk of losing a relationship 
pushed myself to take risks that I hadn’t done before 

 And this is how I felt: naked, somewhat raw, but also solid.  Dr.  Brown surveyed many people with this same question — what did you do to  be vulnerable and how did it feel? — and the most common response was  “naked”.  Naked is what we are when we were born and despite all of the  layers we put on throughout the years of our lives, naked vulnerability  is the place where we find the inner peace we’re looking for.  Why?   Because we are expressing ourselves honestly, directly, and  wholeheartedly, a light shining from our true selves.  When we are our  true, open self, we are in touch with emotions that make us human — all  shades of emotions, from “dark” ones to “light” ones.  And if we can  offer acceptance and not judgement to our wide range of emotions, then  we are able to overcome challenges and build resiliency.

 Dr. Brown suggests that we shy away from vulnerability because we  feel we need a “shield” in a society that constantly tells us that we  “don’t have enough” or that we “aren’t enough”.  This passage, taken  from the book _The Soul of Money_ by Lynne Twist, really struck me:

_“For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of  the day is “I didn’t get enough sleep.”  The next one is “I don’t have  enough time”.  Whether true or not, that thought of “not enough” occurs  to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it.  We  spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining,  complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of. . . Before  we even sit up in bed, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already  losing, already lacking something.  This internal condition of scarcity  lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice,  our arguments with life. . . “_
​
What if we embraced that we _*are enough *_just  as we are today?  We don’t need to do anything else?  Would that make  being vulnerable less scary?  What change might happen if we were to  embrace vulnerability?  And what if being vulnerable was the vehicle for  the change that you’re yearning for?

 As we continue to explore the complexities of vulnerability and its  relationship to shame and other emotions, please take a look at Dr.  Brown’s talk about the power of vulnerability — a video that has touched  people around the world.

 How can you “dare greatly” today?


----------



## forgetmenot (Nov 29, 2012)

I like how real she is when she is presenting this topic  It is very thought provoking   and very informative    I can see why it has touched many people
vulnerability  courage meets fear   perhaps  a core place to start healing


----------

