# Crying



## adaptive1 (Nov 30, 2008)

How can I stop crying all the time when it is not appropriate, and the thing is I dont know exactly what it is I am so upset about. I wish I did.. It just comes at the most inapproiate times and it is embarassing. I am trying to be more positive and that is helping someone and do things that work but I cant figure out exactly what it is I am hurting about. Sure things have happened in my life that were traumatic and I had a rough childhood but so have lots of people. Why can't I figure out what is really bothering me so I can move on and get over this rough patch? Does anyone know how to do that, what if I have no clue what is causing my mood problems? Could it simply be bilological?

Sorry maybe some of these questions are directed to myself, but I cant figure it out, how can I have such a lack of insight into myself?


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## NicNak (Nov 30, 2008)

My Psychiatrist said when I told him I just burst out crying that it was part of the depression.

Are you currently seeing a  Therapist, Psychologis, Psychiatirst?

Are you on meds?


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## Jazzey (Nov 30, 2008)

> I dont know exactly what it is I am so upset about.



Isn't that just part of the depression? - we don't always know why we're upset.  

As NicNak asked - sorry Adaptive - I don't really know your history here - are you seeing someone for your depression?



> I am trying to be more positive and that is helping someone and do things that work but I cant figure out exactly what it is I am hurting about.



Again, I think that this is just part of the depression....



> Sure things have happened in my life that were traumatic and I had a rough childhood but so have lots of people. Why can't I figure out what is really bothering me so I can move on and get over this rough patch?



Don't worry about other people - comparison is a dangerous gamble when we're depressed.  Do try and work alongside whomever you're seeing to figure out why you're upset (and I'm starting to appreciate that this takes a lot of work).



> Does anyone know how to do that, what if I have no clue what is causing my mood problems?



I've recently argued with my psychologist about this same issue - I don't know either.  So, I trudge along and do the work that she recommends in order to figure out what the real issues are.  otherwise, I'll be stuck here for potentially a lot longer...And believe you me, she makes me accountable for everything - there is no "I don't know" - we explore, together, every feasible avenue.

As for whether this could be biological - that's a question that I would probably reserve for a doctor.   But, gauging from your post, there is at least some factors that are not in the realm of a purely biological nature...again, that's something you're going to have to answer.

I'm thinking of you Adaptive - hope you feel better very soon.


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## Daniel (Dec 1, 2008)

Until your depression gets sufficiently better, some tips I found that may or may not help with this particular symptom:

How to Stop Yourself From Crying in an Inappropriate Situation | eHow.com


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## Mari (Dec 1, 2008)

Thank-you for the link Daniel, those tips can be very helpful and a good reminder. :heart: Mari


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## adaptive1 (Dec 1, 2008)

Thanks for all the great advice you guys.

I will try those tips Daniel, I dont want to risk looking like I can't handle my job at the moment and look unprofessional and emotional, even though I don't really feel like I can anymore.

I do have a therapist that I am going back to on Friday, if we don't have a better session, maybe it will be time to look for another one again or not. It's kind of to the point where I am asking myself what I am even doing going to see one, I don't know what my problem is or what is driving these emotions. I ask myself these quesitons or what I want from the therapist and I have no answers. I ask myself over and over and over so how can I expect someone to help me when I don't even know what my goals are or what it is I want to accomplish? I dont really want to sit there and cry like an emotional wreck when I cant even tell them what I am crying about. 

I have tried medication and even herbal remedies lately but it didnt seem to help. I keep telling myself if I just knew what was so upsetting to me and I would work on an action plan I wouldnt even need medication.


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## ladylore (Dec 1, 2008)

Have you had a check-up by your doctor lately? It may be worth getting your thyroid and hormone levels checked out.

Just a thought.


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## adaptive1 (Dec 4, 2008)

How funny you should say that........on  similar note, the day I wrote this I was totally an emotional wreck, snapping at everyone, just depressed and mad at the world...I had no idea what I was so stressed out about, but I started to get this massive headache, suddenly it felt like my vision was blurred and when I went to the washroom and looked in the mirror my pupil was totally dilated. Feeling alarmed I called for some advice from a medical person who said go to the emergency room now, these are signs of a stroke or something serious.. feeling scared I went and was told by the doctors that I might have bleeding in my brain.  It was really scary, I was sitting there thinking how ungrateful I have been for all my blessings and hoping everything was ok, wondering if I was ok....the long and short of it is that I am lucky it was neither one of those things, I dont have a definitive diagnosis and I had some health problems earlier this year but I dont have anything life threatening, maybe some neurolgical problem with my eye but nothing compared to what I was told it could be when I got to the hospital. 

A good reminder to me not to take my life for granted, if I am unhappy I have to figure out why and do something about it.  I still have the chance to do that and I am so lucky and grateful. I want to remember that lesson for a long time.


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## David Baxter PhD (Dec 4, 2008)

That sounds rather like an ocular migraine, adaptive1.


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## NicNak (Dec 4, 2008)

I am glad you went to the hospital Adaptive1.    That sounds like it was a scary experience.

I hope you are feeling better now :hug:


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## adaptive1 (Dec 5, 2008)

I kind of thought it might be a migraine too except one pupil is still dilated and I still have a mild headache, probably because my eye can not block light. Maybe a migraine can last several days? Does it  make the pupils dilate too? Its very weird. They said it is probably only something called Adies Tonic Pupil or something like that. Very weird. If thats all it is, apparently the Adies thing is harmless


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## David Baxter PhD (Dec 5, 2008)

I'd never heard of that but see Adies Tonic Pupil - Google Search


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## adaptive1 (Dec 5, 2008)

Thanks very much Dr Baxter for the information


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## adaptive1 (Dec 22, 2008)

Sigh, I kind of feel stupid for all the complaining I have done in the last few years, they don't know what is wrong with my eye and it isn't an adies pupil which is a harmless pupil dilation. I am kind of worried that I am losing my eye sight but it is one eye that is blurred all the time and I have to wait for an MRI to see what the problem is.  Being a worrier I am trying not to think of it and there is really nothing the doctor said that indicated this could happen. I mean I am fortunate that it is not a lot worse and maybe it is nothing. Still makes me realize, I didnt appreciate all that I have, I guess we all do this at times. We dont appreciate what we have until something goes wrong. I didnt appreciate my eye sight until I didnt have it the way I used to. 

I am trying to appreciate things more. I try to take a moment and think of what I have.


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## Sparrow (Dec 22, 2008)

> A good reminder to me not to take my life for granted





> I am trying to appreciate things more. I try to take a moment and think of what I have


Ahhh yes.. :lightbulb: gratefulness as in,
You Don't Know What You Have Until It's Gone.
I believe as we get older, good old Mother Nature eventually knocks on all our doors and tells us this quite clearly.
To really appreciate what we still have, and not take to it for granted must be a blessing.


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## Lana (Dec 22, 2008)

Hey Adaptive;
I'm sorry you're experiencing so much discomfort with your eye.  Try not to feel bad about previous days.  You only had your immediate situations to gauge yourself and did the best you could.  Stressing over it is not going to help you, but may add to the problem.

Few years ago I had an episode with Bells Palsy.  I am not hard to look at, so having half of my face paralyzed was not fun and very frustrating.  I, too, felt like I didn't appreciate a lot of things at the time, but that only added to my misery.  So, I changed that to "I'm glad I caught this and it's being treated."  Today there is no sign that I ever had it...though when I'm extremely tired or stressed, I do feel a bit of sluggishness.  Neurologist said that recovery was about 95% which surprised me because you really can't see anything.  He said, "not with the naked eye, no"  But he did add that I was very lucky to have caught it when I did and that my recovery was one of the best.

So, don't beat yourself up over things because you may very well be missing the good things now too.  Know what I mean, jelly bean?   I get nasty migraines also, and sometimes my vision goes before I get them.  My pupils dilate, and I get the sensation as if I was staring at something bright all day and now can't see anything.  (it's particularly unpleasant when it hits while I'm driving   had to pull over a few times due to that and slowly find my way home)  Sometimes it's accompanied by dizziness.  And often, it's followed up with a migraine that lasts few days.  I had to see the optometrist and such and all concluded that it's probably and aura that many migraine sufferers experience.  They (doctors) also all agreed that stress wasn't helping. Please, do try to give yourself some space and time to relax.  Go to your favorite spot/space and just take time out for you.  :hug:


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## adaptive1 (Dec 29, 2008)

Thanks guys, Lana I am glad you are ok now, sorry to hear about the migraines and your struggles. Your thoughts though are dead on as usual. Hope you had a great holiday and thanks for all your help this year,


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