# I died... Now what?



## Atlantean (Apr 14, 2011)

I completed suicide on April 4.  I was in a state of cardiac and respiratory arrest for 45 minutes.  I have amnesia of the day of the incident through around the fourth day in recovery from being intubated and kept in the ICU on  a ventilator.  My body temperature was 94 for over 12 hours, despite the technology they used to try to raise my temperature (i.e. bear blanket, warm saline drip).

I feel really different now.  Its quite odd for me.  I can't wrap my head around what happened and I cannot find a local support group for this type of thing.  I would love to start my own, but I am spread a bit thin these days and I dont think I should put myself in a position for others to rely on me, when I can barely manage all my current responsibilities.

I feel a lot calmer.  My Anxiety and insomnia went away for the first few days, but now I am scared to sleep because I am scared that since my heart stopped once, it may do it again.  Parts of me know this is illogical, the rest of me begs to differ.  I do have an appointment with my PCP tomorrow, and my Psychiatrist in around 12 days.  I am doing everything I can to figure things out and get what I need, but I guess what I really want to know is there anyone out there who has died and come back?


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## David Baxter PhD (Apr 14, 2011)

Atlantean said:


> I do have an appointment with my PCP tomorrow, and my Psychiatrist in around 12 days.


 
What is a "PCP"?


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## Atlantean (Apr 15, 2011)

Sorry Dr. Baxter, et al.  PCP= Primary Care Provider.  My normal general practiioner physician.

  Also, my heart is fine and he is more concerned with the psychiatric/psychological factors regarding my death that any physical things that seem to be bugging me.  I also begin weekly therapy adjunct to my normal psychiatrist next week.

  I am feeling much better, overall.  I still feel very different but I am not on any medication right now except for my seizures, and I am not really having any adverse effects.  I am trying to not get to carried away with any one particular thing so that I can keep everything balanced.

  Thank You!.

-Starr


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## Cat Dancer (Apr 15, 2011)

Is there any way you could see your Psychiatrist sooner?


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## Atlantean (Apr 15, 2011)

Hi, Cat Dancer.  Long time, no see.  Hope all is well.

  I cannot see him any sooner, he is booked solid.  I will be okay waiting the week to see a counselor in the interim.  I was in quite the space when I posted here and since finding out my heart was okay and I am okay, I feel much less tense about it.  It is still a huge deal, nonetheless and something that I know will impact on me for the rest of my life, but I am okay waiting the week to really talk about it.



-Starr


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## Retired (Apr 15, 2011)

Starr,

One can only imagine the profound effect this experience may have had on you.  I hope you will use our resources and others to help ease your pain as well as your frustration with finding adequate support.

You may wish to have a look at the IANDS (International Association for Near Death Studies) website that appears to contain information as well as support material for people who have had a near death experience (NDE).

Attaches is a support brochure from IANDS I thought you might find informative on seeking out the support you might need..

Suport groups are listed HERE


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## Atlantean (Apr 15, 2011)

Steve,

  Thank you.  I am going to the website, now.  I appreciate your help and I am sure the site will be very helpful.

-Starr


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