# Sadness



## kelsischanging (Jan 7, 2007)

I don't really know what to say other than I'm just sad and need to write about it...I'm sad...I just came back to college today and it's like as soon as I was on campus I just got very sad...I have had a hard time adjusting to college life so three weeks at home w/ the family were very nice...I'm not sure that my saddness is from missing my family it's just now I feel very alone...I do have some good friends here but I haven't seen them yet and I just feel alone...I'm just sad and needed to get that out there...I don't really know that I'm looking for any advice but if you have some please please share it with me...also winter is a hard season for me...it gets dark early and it's so cold and gloomy...I'm also scared about starting my classes for next semester...I have an incrediably full course load and am just worried about that...to sum it all up I'm worried and sad...sad and worried...today I'm just sad...
thanks for reading...


----------



## Halo (Jan 7, 2007)

*Re: sadness*

Hi Kels,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so sad tonight but I am glad that you came on here to write about it.  Good decision :goodjob:  It must be hard to be going back to school after being home for 3 weeks with your family and not yet seeing your friends.  Are they expected to arrive tonight as I assume that classes start tomorrow?  

I am sure that you probably have some anxiety about your next course load/semester coming up but just remember to take it one class, one day at a time and you will get through it just like you did the last semester.  You have a lot of support and resources to use, if needed, if you find yourself getting too stressed out so don't forget to use them as that is what they are there for.

I am sure that once you see your friends when they arrive and you all talk about your upcoming semester and coarse load you will realize that they probably have the same anxieties that you do and together you will all get through it.

Take Care Kels and try to stay strong,
:hug: :hug:


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Jan 7, 2007)

Kelsey...

It's not as strange as you might think. You're just 19. Away from family and friends. Away from your familiar life and trying to get used to a new one.

You're homesick.


----------



## Into The Light (Jan 7, 2007)

hi kelsey, sorry to hear you're feeling sad. it's understandable, after having been back home for 3 weeks to return to campus and not having seen anyone just yet. you're probably feeling a little homesick.

is there anything you can do to distract yourself from how you are feeling until you get back into classes? i assume you start tomorrow. once classes pick up you'll find yourself busy again, attending lectures, doing assignments, etc. any tv you can watch, books you can read, music you can play? make yourself a comforting hot cup of cocoa, tea or soup to go with it? i usually find when i am feeling sad or down that if i wrap myself up in a blanket and do these things it's comforting. it's a way of taking care of myself and being good to me.

also if classes start tomorrow friends may be arriving this evening. you could be on the lookout for them and get together with them.

not sure if these things appeal to you or would be helpful to you but that is what came to mind.


----------



## just mary (Jan 7, 2007)

I think I know how you feel, I've been through similar situations and I've seen other people go through them too.  

I don't know if there is much you can do, other than ride it out.  You could try to do something that reminds you of home, the things you miss, a favourite food or TV show, a hot bath.  Once classes start and your friends show up - things will get better.

Take care and know that we're thinking of you,

jm


----------



## Misha (Jan 7, 2007)

I understand what it is to feel like you're drowning in sadness.  I find it interesting that you posted this under depression... in my experience most people who label themselves "depressed" seem to stop using the word "sad."  I think "sad" is a very healthy emotion; there is something raw and human about sadness...it shows that you value friends and family enough to miss them; it shows that you care enough about the world to feel uncomfortable in it.  
For me "sad" is very different from "depressed."  I am only just learning how to be "sad."  
I guess what I am trying to say is... don't feel bad about feeling bad.  It is natural and healthy and you seem to have a good dose of self-awareness on your side.  In any case, I hope that the darkness lifts for you as all this change and uncertainty keeps doing it's "dance" in your life.


----------



## Into The Light (Jan 7, 2007)

another thought i just had, kelsey, is maybe you can call home and tell your family you miss them? it may help you feel better to talk to them and let them know you are sad.


----------



## braveheart (Jan 8, 2007)

How're you doing now?

[I've been there in that place too, 18 years ago now, but I still know what it can feel like.]


----------



## kelsischanging (Jan 8, 2007)

Hey thanks for all the replies...I'm doing a little better today...we started classes which kept my mind on something other then how sad I was...it also helped starting to see some friends again...I talked to my mom which also helped...basically I'm doing better...thanks for asking


----------



## Halo (Jan 8, 2007)

Kels,

I am so glad that you are feeling less sad today and that starting classes, seeing your friends and talking to your mom helped.  I am happy that you made some good choices to help overcome the sadness that you were feeling :goodjob:

Take care and good luck in your semester, Kels
:hug:


----------



## Misha (Jan 8, 2007)

I was relieved to hear you are feeling better too.  Good for your fighting your way through it!


----------



## Thelostchild (Jan 8, 2007)

I think that its normal to feel that way. My parents are moving away from me thats odd. I'm sure you will meet some people and become friends. Don't stress over college classes because if you do then you will really get stressed out. Maybe consider getting rid of some of the classes make it an easy semester for you? Im taking 3 classes, wish me luck. Take care


----------



## Brent (Jan 15, 2007)

Hey Kelsey,

If you're still looking for advice, I've got a little for when I find myself feeling sad. first - check what kind of music you're listening to. I've always noticed that for me, sad music and being sad go hand in hand. I now have an entire playlist of happy songs, one's that it's impossible to listen to and not smile.

Clean something - I'm not the neatest person, but when I'm sad, I find it fairly comforting, kind of hard to start, but once started I can't stop, and the finished product feels great.

Exercise - Nothing serious, but  if I can get my headphones on, and block out the world and head to the gym for an hour, then life is good.

Scheduling - When things get really busy, I feel a lot better once I've scheduled my weeks with time for class and studying. I put in plenty of slush time (time with nothing scheduled) and time for reading and movies.

Motivational quotes - I'm big on quotes, I've got half a wall filled with them over my computer so I look at them everyday. I try to change them every so often, or add to them.

That's about it, good luck this semester Kelsey.


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Jan 15, 2007)

Those are all good points, brent. Welcome to Psychlinks. 

The only one I might disagree with is sad songs. I always liked the blues and sad songs, listening to them or playing them on my guitar, because they almost always made me feel better. I must admit I'm not sure how that works but it did for me.


----------



## Into The Light (Jan 15, 2007)

i think listening to sad music brings a person in touch with their sadness. it allows you to really feel the feelings and work through them. it helps me connect with myself more easily. then when you've let yourself feel what you're feeling you do feel a little better.


----------



## Brent (Jan 16, 2007)

I agree with all points for sad music, it's great, I've even got another playlist labelled sad music. Personally, I try to only listen to it, when I'm not sad.

When I am feeling down, and I want to bring myself out of it, sad music has to go. There are some songs where I just can't help but smile when I listen to them, I can't say happy music is a magical cure, but it definately, for me, gets the ball rolling in the right direction.

I probably wasn't as clear as I could have been, when I said sad music and being sad go hand in hand. I've just noticed when I'm sad I find myself personally, listening to sadder music and dwelling on things. That's usually when I need to switch up the music and get something with more of a beat.

Thanks Dr Baxter, it's nice to be here, a lot of the resources are very interesting.


----------



## foghlaim (Jan 16, 2007)

"sad songs they say... sad songs they saaay... sooo much.. turn it on,, turn it on."    lol that all i can remember at the min.   was it Elton john who sang that one?    
anyway.. I was thinking something something along those lines about sad songs and what they can say or mean sometimes. when that song popped into my head.


----------



## ThatLady (Jan 16, 2007)

Yep. That was Elton John.

I used to listen to sad songs and bawl my eyes out. For me, it increased my depression - like I was feeding on the misery imparted by the lyrics. Now, I can listen to them and appreciate their beauty and the realization that they're expressing someone else's emotional pain, not mine. Although, that Celine Dion song from Titanic still reduces me to a blubbering fool.


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Jan 16, 2007)

> Although, that Celine Dion song from Titanic still reduces me to a blubbering fool.



*cough* It probably did the same thing to poor Jack... *cough*


----------



## ThatLady (Jan 16, 2007)

Dern you, David! I asked my mother, who has seen the movie (she's not such a total wimp as I am). She said Jack was NOT pushed off the darned raft. He just sorta slid away and he was dying anyway. He gave his life to save the life of his lady love, poor dear. She suffered all her life for his loss.

I like that story better than the thought of her pushing him off the freaking raft! Sheesh! 

*Besides, it probably reduced him to a blub-blub-blubbing fool.  *


----------



## Halo (Jan 16, 2007)

He froze to death in the water while waiting to be rescued (therefore sinking to the bottom when he left go) while the love of his life was floating on the raft and therefore she survived.  Therefore TL your mother is correct, no pushing was done...despite what David says about poor Jack


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Jan 16, 2007)

She pried his fingers off the raft and let him go... and why didn't they take turns on the raft so they could both be saved?


----------



## ThatLady (Jan 16, 2007)

Umm, David, dear...the water was freezing. If they'd taken turns, the one whose turn it wasn't would have sunk like a stone. Now, if she'd sunk, she would have taken that lovely necklace she kept to the bottom of the ocean with her. What would have been gained by that? Save the jewels, I say!


----------



## Halo (Jan 16, 2007)

She pried them off only after he was gone....not while he was still living.  

Taking turns.....would you let poor Laurie freeze in the water while you lay on a raft ??


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Jan 16, 2007)

> Save the jewels, I say!



But apparently not the family jewels... 



> Taking turns.....would you let poor Laurie freeze in the water while you lay on a raft ??



No, but I'm not convinced they couldn't have found a way... she agreed wayyy too quickly, of you ask me... and after he went to all the trouble of teaching her how to spit right.


----------



## ThatLady (Jan 16, 2007)

I knew the "family jewels" had to get into this somehow!


----------

