# 40,000 salmon escape B.C. farm



## David Baxter PhD (Oct 24, 2009)

I just spotted this story and wanted to warn all B.C. residents:

40,000 salmon escape B.C. farm
CBC News
Friday, October 23, 2009



> About 40,000 Atlantic salmon have escaped from a fish farm on the B.C. coast.
> 
> Marine Harvest Canada says the fish escaped Wednesday from its farm at Port Elizabeth, on the Pacific Coast about 400 kilometres northwest of Vancouver.
> 
> ...



My first reaction is that they obviously need better trained salmon farm prison guards. Hundreds of thousands is excessive even in the federal prison system.

Citizens of BC should warn their children to stay indoors after dark. A police spokesman who wished to remain anonymous told me that the salmon should be considered armed (salmon armed) and dangerous, and speculated that they might be trying to swim upstream. "They could be anywhere by now. They are the most rebellious of all fish with the possible exception of the guppie", he said.

If you should spot anything fishy in your town, please report it to the 10 Most Wanted Fish hotline.


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## Andy (Oct 24, 2009)

You would think our tax dollars would be better spent on security. I think these Salmon gaurds should be "canned". Har har


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 24, 2009)

That's a good point, although there's sometimes a "tin" line between security and cruel and unusual punishment...

For example, having a guard patrol the walls while singing "Salmon Janet Evening"... that would be cruel and unusual.


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## Andy (Oct 24, 2009)

Definitely cruel, not so unusual. I guess things could be worse, they could be "swimming with the fishes".


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## Daniel (Oct 24, 2009)

The guards should have pet the fish more often:

YouTube - RTC x TSN Hybrid Catfish Enjoying Being Petted


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## Andy (Oct 24, 2009)

Be careful not to "batter" them. Some fish are Koi and don't like to be pet.


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## Daniel (Oct 24, 2009)

Let's not carp about it


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## Andy (Oct 24, 2009)

No need to be Crabby.:teehee:


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## Daniel (Oct 24, 2009)

I will pond that over


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## Andy (Oct 24, 2009)

While your pondering that I will be floundering around on the net.


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## Daniel (Oct 24, 2009)

> floundering around on the net.


:lol:  Be careful, it's easy to get hooked


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## Andy (Oct 24, 2009)

Just for the halibut I will pray to cod so I don't get hooked.:blush:


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## Daniel (Oct 24, 2009)

Fish Market


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 24, 2009)

That was great, guys! I was out shopping and missed this. Well done! 



David Baxter said:


> For example, having a guard patrol the walls while singing "Salmon Janet Evening"... that would be cruel and unusual.



For those who don't remember it, here's the original recording of Salmon Janet Evening:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkrt3NMvMHU


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## NicNak (Oct 24, 2009)

YouTube - I Lobster But Never Flounder


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## Fiver (Oct 24, 2009)

This thread has spawned way too many puns. I've had it up to the gills with puns already!


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 24, 2009)

I know. At first, it was all going swimmingly. Then I went away for a few hours and look what happened... the whole thread went into the tank...


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## Fiver (Oct 24, 2009)

The carp in this thread is off the scales.


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## NicNak (Oct 24, 2009)

David Baxter said:


> Then I went away for a few hours and look what happened...




Did you go ice fishing :teehee:


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## Jazzey (Oct 24, 2009)

:lol:  This thread made my night tonight. I love it when I can "Perch" here and laugh my "Sole" out.  None of you deserve to be tanked...this is absolutely a reli"reef"
Thank you.

....Ok, so I'm not great at puns...give me a break.  I loved this thread.


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## NicNak (Oct 24, 2009)

I wonder if some members are "tanked" :lol:


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 24, 2009)

If the trout be known, I suspect you're all tanked.


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## NicNak (Oct 24, 2009)

David Baxter said:


> If the trout be known, I suspect you're all tanked.



I need to be tanked like a fish needs a bicycle :lol:


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 24, 2009)

Jazzey said:


> :lol:  This thread made my night tonight. I love it when I can "Perch" here and laugh my "Sole" out.  None of you deserve to be tanked...this is absolutely a reli"reef"
> Thank you.
> 
> ....Ok, so I'm not great at puns...give me a break.  I loved this thread.



I think PSL (Puns as a Second Language) is actually pretty impressive.

But herring all this makes me fear this thread is becoming a disgrace to the net. There's a plaice for puns and I'm afraid this thread is going overboard.

Let's all try a grouper hug and see if we can reel it in.


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## Jazzey (Oct 24, 2009)

No, I really, in my sole of sole, believe that we're all good at the albacore.  Getting tanked wouldn't serve any purpose other than just feeling sardine for ourselves. And, what precisely is the goal of that?  none. Other than again feeling sardine for ourselves, and perhaps just helping us to clam up...  Ain't no rhyme no reason to that, none of us are that eels...


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## NicNak (Oct 24, 2009)

I think we are all caught up in the big net.  Wonder if there is a "catch and release" policy around here.  Hopefully we are out of season at this time of the year.  It would be illegal to keep us


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 24, 2009)

NicNak said:


> I need to be tanked like a fish needs a bicycle :lol:



Good one, Nic! 



> Fish on a Bike
> 
> Why FOAB?
> 
> ...



I have to admit I thought it was Gloria Steinem.


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 24, 2009)

> "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"



That was written on the blackboard one day when I came in to teach a class. So I asked the students if the reverse could also be true:

"A man needs a woman like a bicycle needs a fish."


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 24, 2009)

Jazzey said:


> And, what precisely is the goal of that?



Chowder, I believe.


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## Fiver (Oct 24, 2009)

Frankly, it's getting rather ichy.


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## Jazzey (Oct 24, 2009)

:lol:  I happen to really like Gloria Steinem and all that she's accomplished in her life... 

I won't allow any slander about her.  (or is that "flounder" )???


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## NicNak (Oct 24, 2009)

Fiver said:


> Frankly, it's getting rather ichy.




Better treat that ich


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 24, 2009)

I hake to be a piker, but I think this thread has gone from brill to hoki... I suspect we've milkfish-ed it for all it's worth... it's gone belly up... it's time to boat this bass. :bart:


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## NicNak (Oct 24, 2009)

David Baxter said:


> I hake to be a piker, but I think this thread has gone from brill to hoki... I suspect we've milkfish-ed it for all it's worth... it's gone belly up... it's time to boat this bass. :bart:



Ok, straighten up the bow and back the stern into port.  Drop the anchor and abandon ship! :lol:


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

Oh my cod Daniel, I thought I smelt something fishy in here! We leave this plaice for some other porpoise and sea what happens?! Holy Mackerel! We have reeled in some folks and they sea-m hooked. Couldn't they goby punny somewhere else? Oh well, I am off to have some coral reefer. Carp Diem

(no serious reefer for me, lol ya know, because reefer makes you serious. I mean I didn't do that)

For Dr.B

?What?s that tuna you?re humming??
?Salmon Chanted Evening?


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 25, 2009)

That was earlier. Now I'm singing "If I knew you were coming I'd-a baked a carp".


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

Walleye can't say I know that Tuna.


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 25, 2009)

I highly doubt it's on Youtube...


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 25, 2009)

I was wrong... If I Knew You Were Coming I'd-a Baked a Carp... fopr your listening pleasure

YouTube - If I Knew You Were Comin' I'd've Baked a Cake Eileen Barton


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

lol Howdyado, howdyado, howdyado Who knew?

lol I do believe I am going to have that song in my head all night. :goodjob:


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 25, 2009)

Oh yeah. It's a pretty "catchy" tuna, all right.


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

I must need a herring aid? :crazy:


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 25, 2009)

You probably just need to turn up the "sound".


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

Then it may "sound" to "crappie".


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 25, 2009)

OK. I give up. You win.


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

I won't be shellfish. We'll call it a tide. :goodjob::beer2:


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 25, 2009)

:2thumbs:


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## Banned (Oct 25, 2009)

Wow.  I've been following this thread all day.  There are some pretty witty people here.

As for me, I'm perched.  I'm off to get a drink.


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

Do you need some kelp getting your drink? I wouldn't want you to pull a mussel.


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## binqs (Oct 25, 2009)

This thread, served over a bed of rice pilaf, with just a hint of pine nuts.  :rofl:  

Thanks for all the fish. ~Douglas Adams


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## Banned (Oct 25, 2009)

Thanks but I have very strong mussels.  Growing up I wanted to be a sturgeon so I had to work extra hard to grow up big and strong.

Walleye don't tropically refuse kelp, I'm ok this time.

Tanks.


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

Just keeping it reel. :clap:


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## Banned (Oct 25, 2009)

A fine little guppy you are.

I know that the more you carp on something, the harder it is to get the other person hooked, so I tend not to carp.  I think you're like that too.  There's kelping, and there's carping...


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

No pollocks there! I agree that there is no trout that there is just no porpoise in carping at all Turtle (ha ha).  It's nice to put your carp and sole into something but there is a time and a plaice. It's batter to just kelp. :crazy:


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 25, 2009)

Oh, Lord... forgive me... what have I wrought?


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

lol You betta watch trout with these threads. Tuna or betta you will reel the wrasse.:crazy:


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 25, 2009)

Oh, the humanity... mg:


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## Jazzey (Oct 25, 2009)

:lol:  STP, you're just too witty for me.  I had to bass out of this sole thing yesterday because all of you are far too better at this that this little pisces over here...  But I enjoy reading your posts. Especially when I see Dr. Baxter flounder-ing in all of it. :teehee:


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

lol I know!:haddock: <------Ha ha This thread has ventured well past being humourous but I can't stop replying. I have a problem...:hair:


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## Jazzey (Oct 25, 2009)

You absolutely must get kelp for this problem STP, I could see this growing into a reel problem for you later on down the line...


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

Jazzey said:


> : Especially when I see Dr. Baxter flounder-ing in all of it. :teehee:



Eel catch spawn.


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## David Baxter PhD (Oct 25, 2009)

I think you all need help. 

Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do. Or maybe they do know. OK. Forgive me for I know not what they do. Or even who they are. I've never seen these people before in my life. I was just on my way to Tim Horton's for a choclate epiphany and all hell broke loose... mg:


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## Daniel (Oct 25, 2009)

I blame the enabler


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## Jazzey (Oct 25, 2009)

STP said:


> Eel catch spawn.


  :lol:

And now Dr. Baxter is concerned about our soles...Is there any reel trout to this possibility?  Or, is Dr. Baxter just tugging at the line again?   Either way, this was reel- y fun. But now, I mussels reel-y clam up and get back to doing some work...

Thank you STP, from the bottom of my fins, you made me beam with laughter - a reel ray of sunshine.


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

Your pretty finny too. Oh my cod, don't pull any mussels while working, I wish I cod kelp.
Daniel, I think Dr.B is gillty as charged.

Dr.B maybe you should kipper away from those chocolate epiphanies. All shell breaks loose.

---------- Post added at 11:17 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:16 AM ----------

:bonk: My brine hurts!


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## Jazzey (Oct 25, 2009)

Actually, having re-read the beginning this thread, I believe that Daniel was also an enabler / promoter.


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## Andy (Oct 25, 2009)

POLLOCKS!:rant:


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