# Caught in a vicious circle



## Rich (Oct 28, 2004)

I am in Sales, paid by commission only and am an independant distributor.  I do not have coworkers, or a boss.  

I started selling what I sell about a year ago.  I sell exclusevly to businesses.

When I first started this business my life was in the toilet.  
1.  Going through a foreclosure.
2.  Going Blind.
3.  Brain Surgery.
4.  Bankruptcy
5.  Lost my business.
6.  Reposession of car
7.  Completely broke (going blind...cant work)
8.  Being sued by 3 different creditors

...and not to mention very depressed.

I spend a lot of time going door to door and telemarketing to set up appointments.  Due to being depressed and broke I had a hard to getting into the proper attitude to persuade people to buy from me.  So I hear a lot of No's NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON

Which made me even more depressed.  which means even more inefective sales.  (by the way I'm still broke, now just more depressed than ever)

In the mean time I feel awful and spend less time prospecting...going door to door and telemarketing.  

Which only adds to the depression.

At this point I am very frustrated, depressed and in depsair.  I have a ton of bills due and cant seem to get even one person to even treat me like a human let alone write me a check.

I know it is all because of my attitude.  I EXUDE negativety.  

the cycle looks like this.

1.  I suck at sales...(I think to myself)
2.  I make 100 telemarketing calls and get nothing.
3.  I was right I really suck at sales.
4.  Now I am even broker and more depressed.
5.  "I have bills due I have to sell something."
6.  I make 30 door to door calls and sell nothing. (Now with really bad attitude and storm cloud over my head)
7.  "I hate my life and sales."
and on and on

I want to break out of this rut.

How do I get my attitude right long enough to sell something and give my confidence the boost it needs?
I feel like If I could just have 1 good day it could get me over the hump financially.

Please Help!
Rich


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Oct 28, 2004)

*caught in a vicious circle*

The first thing that comes to mind is why are you in sales? It seems to me that's the kind of work where you need to be pretty thick-skinned, self-confident, and optimistic... sort of the opposite of depressed. 

Have you done anything else in the past? Can you think of anything you might be able to work at which would be less destructive for you?


----------



## Rich (Oct 28, 2004)

*Good Question*

I have chosen sales because I want to own my own business, be independant and build a residual income stream.

I have tried to work for other people before but end up having an ambition seizure and quiting to start my own business.  I have done this a couple of times.

I am not ready to give up on this yet, I want this to work.  I never expected this to be easy. 

I am not just looking to have a job and make enough money to cover my bills.

I am trying to build something self sustaining. 

I am very ambitious and independant.


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Oct 28, 2004)

*caught in a vicious circle*

Okay. But my comment was that battling depression while in sales is a bit of an uphill battle. What you need rather desperately, it seems to me, is some assistance in cognitive reframing (i.e., cognitive behavior therapy or CBT).

Have a look at one of the David Burns books referenced in the Resources section (see http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=1067).


----------



## Rich (Oct 28, 2004)

*Sounds good*

Thank you for the suggested reading...I am a reader and will pick it up.

However...

Do you have any suggestions for me that I can implement immediately?


----------



## David Baxter PhD (Oct 28, 2004)

*caught in a vicious circle*

The procedures for cognitive reframing / cognitive restructuring are outlined in Burns' books, but basically involve identifying the thoughts that accompany the depressed feelings, which you have already done to some extent, and then challenging them.

For example:



> 1. I suck at sales...(I think to myself)


Why do you say that? What evidence is there that it's true? What evidence is there that it's false? What evidence is there that anyone else would be doing any better at that location with that product? etc.



> 2. I make 100 telemarketing calls and get nothing.
> 3. I was right I really suck at sales.


That ratio of calls to actual sales probably isn't unusual. Most people (me for example) don't buy ANYTHING from telemarketers -- I don't want them calling me and therefore I don't want to end up on a list that says, "Hey! Here's a mark... everyone call him!" -- for the same reason, I don't buy anything from spam emails. Therefore, the problem is not that you suck at sales -- the problem is that you are engaging in a type of sales that irritates or angers many people and therefore a sales method that is unlikely to yield you a high ratio of successes to failures. The method sucks, not you.



> 6. I make 30 door to door calls and sell nothing. (Now with really bad attitude and storm cloud over my head)


If there is one type of salesman hated even more than telemarketers, it's probably door-to-door salesmen. See above.



> 7. "I hate my life and sales."


If you truly hate it, why are you doing it? Don't accept the answer you gave me in your earlier post. Challenge your thinking here -- if you want to be in sales, maybe you need a different sales model. Or... maybe you shouldn't be in sales.


----------



## Rich (Dec 26, 2004)

*Diabetes*

I started this thread a few months ago.

I just found out that I am diabetic about a week ago.

What if anything could this have to do with my problems with being emotionally strong enought to face rejecetion?

Apparently this has been onset for about he last 5 years.

I also had brain surgery to remove a pituitary tumor the size of a golf ball about 1.5 years ago.

My doctor tells me this helped along the diabets greatly.

My doctor has put me on meds to control the diabetes and I have been testing my blood sugar for 3 days.  I think I am starting to feel better but it is really to early to know for sure. 

Currious if anybody has any experience with sales and diabetes.

I have been suicidal for about the last year.  Since I had my brain surgery.  I have had a really hard time working and making money.
I am going to find someome to talk to about this.

Just hopeing there is someone out there who knows what I am going through and can give me some encouraging words


----------



## Cat Dancer (Dec 26, 2004)

*caught in a vicious circle*

I would say it definitely could have something to do with being emotionally strong. How you feel physically, and even if there is a problem that hasn't manifested itself yet, has a huge impact on emotional well being. I am glad that you are going to find someone to talk to and especially glad that you are getting the diabetes treated. 

I hope that you begin to feel much better soon.


----------



## ThatLady (Dec 26, 2004)

*caught in a vicious circle*

Diabetes, in and of itself, mucks with your emotions by fouling up your chemical system. It's much harder for a diabetic person to fight back because their chemical systems are in chaos. You might find that, as your diabetes is brought under control, you are better able to identify and deal with the emotional problems that are plaguing you. Many do.


----------



## Rich (Dec 27, 2004)

*caught in a vicious circle*

Thanks for the encouragement.  I am already starting to feel better after a week of taking my meds and I have started to lose weight too.  Looking foward to seeing how everything plays out.

Rich


----------



## cm (Dec 28, 2004)

*caught in a vicious circle*

Hi Rich, I was reading your posts and had an idea regarding your sales business.  Could you work in the area of sales but more indirectly, ie managing other sales people?? You might find that your very good at this part of sales work. I bet there are other little niches in the sales business too; this is just a thought that I had for you. Hope you will do what ever works best for you. cm


----------



## Jon (Dec 31, 2004)

*caught in a vicious circle*

Rich, I think we have some common ground.  I do not like working for others and have had numerous attempts at starting other small businesses, all of which never amounted to anything profitable.  If you are still on the board, answer me these questions - Is your business to generate money to provide for you or is it something you truly care about deep inside? Is it something you can do on the side of another job while you are building it up?

For example.  I have started & closed several home businesses due to the same thing.  I have one right now that is growing and was never really meant to be.  I love aquariums.  It is a hobby of mine that I am passionate about.  I started a rescue service and tank recycling/refurbishing business out of my garage more for fun than anything.  It started growing and people started asking about saltwater tanks & fish, so I finally said what the heck and set up to sell that stuff too.  My business continues to grow.  I plan to eventually have this provide entirely for my family so that I don't have to work for others any more, but in the meantime I am working another job to pay the bills.  Is this something you could do?

If the business is only to bring in an income so that you don't have to work for others than you are only fooling yourself.  It can be more work and more frustrating than working for someone else.  I know this from experience.  If you find a hobby or something you are passionate about and can find a way to turn that into a business, then I believe you are on your way.


----------



## Rich (Jan 1, 2005)

*Hobby business*



			
				Jon said:
			
		

> If you are still on the board, answer me these questions - Is your business to generate money to provide for you or is it something you truly care about deep inside? Is it something you can do on the side of another job while you are building it up?



I have tried holding down a job and building a business on the side but in the past I have had "entrepeneurial seizures" that cause me to make drastic changes in my life (quit my job and start a new business).  Currently I set up small business to accept credit cards as payment from their customers, aka "merchant services" (Visa & Mastercard)...so no this isn't exactly my lifes passion.  However the times where I have had good months I was having a blast!  (last month)




			
				Jon said:
			
		

> If you find a hobby or something you are passionate about and can find a way to turn that into a business, then I believe you are on your way.



I would agree...unfortunately it is easier said than done.  I also have a side "passion" business.  This unfortunately will probably never do anything other than support my hobby (flying rc airplanes).  
I help my buddy build and sell them.  I am constantly looking for ways to make money doing this.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





My hope for the new year is that my medication, new diet habbits and exercise will turn me into a selling machine.    Or at least make a living.  I am already feeling better and dealing with adversity better.  

2 years ago my head was always throbbing and I was almost completely blind because I had a huge brain tumor.  I had that removed and that made me feel a little better.  The tumor was a pituatary tumor which helped to create diabetes.  (along with my diet and lack of exercise)
I have been struggling with depression because my blood sugar levels were all out of wack.  I was thinking the whole time "what is wrong with me?!  I feel like crap all the time"

I think that I am for the first time playing with a full deck...or at least on the road to recovery.  I can't give up now and go get a job.  I have come so far in the last 2 years and I still have a little time left before I absolutely have to go and get a job to pay my bills (my brother is my silent partner and he has been helping me pay my bills since the surgery and my depression.  Couldn't do it without him).  I also am gaining momentum and am building a book of business.

Retreating and trying to do it on a part time basis usually ends up being doing it on a never basis.  I fear that I would get caught up in life and a new job and never find the time.  If you have ever done this you will know what I mean.

Am I crazy (well...I kinda know I am crazy ) for thinking this way?
Trying to tough it out for anouther couple of months and see if my new lifestyle isn't what I have been looking for?  I mean retreating is the farthest thing from my mind.  What ever happened to "winners never quit and quiters never win", "if you think you can your right and if you think you can't your right", "A person who has given up on their dreams will encourage you to give up on yours."

At what point do you give up?  How do you know when to pull that trigger?  I don't feel like I am there yet.  In the past it was when my bank accounts were hundreds of dollars overdrawn, my gas tank was on empty, my phone was shut off, I had a disconnect notice on my door and I was eating the canned food that had been in the cabinets for years, no income and sleeping all day because I was to depressed to get up.  (Pre- brain tumor surgery) LOL.
That in no way describes my postition today.

I'm going to give it anouther 30 days before making any changes.  
Anybody have any suggestions?

I appologise for the rambling and spelling 

Rich


----------



## Jon (Jan 1, 2005)

*caught in a vicious circle*

I am glad to hear that you are making some real progress.  I generally feel the same way about pulling back to part time and working a day job.  I go nuts when I'm working for someone else.  If you can afford to keep driving your business forward for another month or so, do it.  Then if it reaches the point where it will support you, keep it up.  If not, get a part time job or something to help with the bills and keep working on your business.  I don't believe you should give up on your business.  I have several that I'm building just like you.  They are all slowly building, but they do not support me - Yet.  I have taken a day job to pay the bills and continue to build my businesses on the side knowing that one of these days I will be my own boss for the rest of my life.


----------



## Daniel (Jan 1, 2005)

*caught in a vicious circle*



> I help my buddy build and sell them. I am constantly looking for ways to make money doing this.



Do you or your friend sell them on a website or on eBay in addition to selling them locally and in other ways?


----------

