# What to do with the thoughts?



## Cat Dancer (Jan 6, 2008)

I have been having suicidal thoughts the last couple of days. I am scared of my thoughts. I don't know what to do to make them go away.  I don't want to be having them, but I don't know how to make them stop.


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## David Baxter PhD (Jan 6, 2008)

First, are you taking all your medication? Have you skipped any days? or run out of any?

Second, try just reminding yourself that they are just thoughts, just a reflection of your faitigue, depression, and frustration with trying to get better. You know that with Abigail there you won't act on them, right?

Third, are you making sure that you keep up at least a minimum nturitional intake? Without that, your medications can't work as well as they should.


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## Cat Dancer (Jan 6, 2008)

I have been taking all my medication. 

I have been losing weight again so not really eating well. 

I definitely am committed to not acting on the thoughts. I simply can't. But it's disturbing having them.


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## Into The Light (Jan 6, 2008)

i know the thoughts are disturbing. try to keep in mind they are just thoughts. you can also try distracting yourself somehow as well. is there anything you can do that would occupy your mind? like a hobby, or a computer game on the forum?


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## Cat Dancer (Jan 6, 2008)

I just have the weirdest feeling that I'm not really real. Almost a paralyzed feeling and an overwhelmed feeling so it's really hard to focus on anything right now. 

I have been having extra contact with my father lately and I think it's affecting me negatively.


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## Into The Light (Jan 6, 2008)

maybe you're dissociating a bit as a result of the contact with your father?

maybe some physical movement could help ground you again.


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## Cat Dancer (Jan 6, 2008)

That's a good idea. Thanks. I'm just having such a hard time, feeling so dirty and disgusting.


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## lallieth (Jan 7, 2008)

Janet said:


> That's a good idea. Thanks. I'm just having such a hard time, feeling so dirty and disgusting.


You aren't dirty and disgusting Janet... the thoughts can be very scary,if I start to have negative thoughts I generally yell STOP within my head (as many times as I need) and then work on thinking of something positive,or start singing in my head..or do something physical


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## Cat Dancer (Jan 7, 2008)

Thanks, lallieth. I am trying to distract myself from the thoughts by cleaning. Yelling STOP inside my head is a good idea.

I'm really discouraged because I can't seem to focus or concentrate on anything.


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## Daniel (Jan 7, 2008)

> Yelling STOP inside my head is a good idea.



I just tried it on my obsessive thinking.    It's pretty cool


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## Ashley-Kate (Jan 7, 2008)

as david said in his reply your nutrition is also a very important factor in the hole feeling well and i know first hand the impact of your nutrition has on you and you probably know as well so as hard as it is sometimes eating in some odd way makes you feel better cause you need it to think clearly you need it to function and when you don't eat you feel week and that just increases your depression and sadness so well try your best to keep a griopp on that side of things cause then you can work on the other stuff cause if you don'T eat enough it is almost impossible to feel good cause our bodies function better when we  are healthy when we are not we don'T feel good physicly nore emotionnaly


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## Into The Light (Jan 7, 2008)

another thought i had, i find that music can really help. if you have some favourite music and put that on to listen to, your mind is busy processing the music. it takes the focus away from your thoughts. it usually helps to lift my spirits or to make me feel better.

i would pick music though that makes you feel good, not music that is depressing or sad. :goodjob:


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## lallieth (Jan 7, 2008)

Janet said:


> Thanks, lallieth. I am trying to distract myself from the thoughts by cleaning. Yelling STOP inside my head is a good idea.
> 
> I'm really discouraged because I can't seem to focus or concentrate on anything.


I know how you feel..there are days when I can't focus on anything either,and  I know how frustrating that can be.

I have also started to use rubber bands on my wrist,and when a negative thought comes into my head SNAP of the rubber bands and STOP,which takes me from the negative thought just long enough to replace it with a positive one.



Daniel said:


> I just tried it on my obsessive thinking.    It's pretty cool


It does work..sometimes I will yell STOP inside my head or out loud if I am alone and actually stomp my foot hard..that works too


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## poohbear (Jan 7, 2008)

OH, Janet! I'm so sorry about how you're feeling.  I'm glad, though, that you have little Abigail.  The tie(s) with a child will certainly bind.  That was the ONLY thing keeping me sane when I was having my dark time a few weeks back.  My three boys.  But it's all worth it.  ALL of it.  I know it's not over, and I know I have alot of work to do (on me, primarily...), but I also KNOW that, in the end, I will have my three babies, no matter who else fails to need me.  They will always need me.  And I'm determined to stick around long enough to see this through so I can enjoy my time with them.  You can do it, too.  I know you can.  Keep writing.  It helped me alot.


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## Cat Dancer (Jan 8, 2008)

Thanks you all for all your help and suggestions and for just listening to me. That means a lot. I have been feeling a little better the last day or two. What scared me so much was that I was actually feeling better before these thoughts seemed to take over my mind. I felt like I was starting all over again. I'd lost my hope. Sometimes the path is so rocky and so dark I feel I can't go on. Abigail keeps me going though. And little bits of light and hope from brighter days. Remembering good things instead of bad things. And listening to happy music is helpful and telling myself STOP has helped a lot. Tiny, little steps that seem so hard to take at times, but I must take them.


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## Into The Light (Jan 8, 2008)

Janet said:


> Tiny, little steps that seem so hard to take at times, but I must take them.


i am proud of you for not giving up and taking those tiny steps :hug:


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## lallieth (Jan 9, 2008)

Janet said:


> Thanks you all for all your help and suggestions and for just listening to me. That means a lot. I have been feeling a little better the last day or two. What scared me so much was that I was actually feeling better before these thoughts seemed to take over my mind. I felt like I was starting all over again. I'd lost my hope. Sometimes the path is so rocky and so dark I feel I can't go on. Abigail keeps me going though. And little bits of light and hope from brighter days. Remembering good things instead of bad things. And listening to happy music is helpful and telling myself STOP has helped a lot. Tiny, little steps that seem so hard to take at times, but I must take them.


That's all it takes Janet,is tiny baby steps...one step at a time,one moment at a time.


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## Cat Dancer (Jan 16, 2008)

I am still having scary, awful thoughts. 

I decided to just go ahead and write the thoughts down and send them to my therapist. At least I won't be alone with them anymore.


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