# Best friend's ex-girlfriend



## Dizzy (Jun 11, 2005)

Ok here's my situation.

6 years ago I met this girl through a friend of mine. He was dating her at the time, and she blew me away. So sweet and just an excellent person.

As time went on, they moved in together as did I and my current gf. My buddy and I started hanging out alot, became best friends I guess you could say. He cheated on her left and right, it drove me crazy because she was a special girl and didnt deserve it. He treated her like garbage, controlled her, told her what to wear what to do etc.

Then they had a kid. Thing were good for a while but it ended up going back to the old ways of him cheated and hurting her. I felt he didnt deserve a girl like that.

About 3 years ago, I broke up with my gf, and my buddy and his gf broke up as well. She was now a single mother with an asshole ex boyfriend.

Well, I started hanging out with his ex gf alot, and we had a great time. We started to date and thats when things went bad. I realize it wasnt the smartest move, but I had to have her. 

I lost contact with him and alot of mutual friends as expected. Now we live in a house together, both good jobs, excellent relationship and we have the best time together, couldnt ask for more in a girlfriend. I will marry her. Her now 4 year old daughter lives with us as well and see's her dad every other weekend.

I really want to call my ex best friend and say sorry for what I did. I havent spoken to him really since all the stuff happened. What do I do?

I just can't seem to pick up the phone and call. I aviod places where he might be and find myself looking over my shoulder wherever I go because I don't know what the confrontation is going to be like. And surprisingly enough we havent ran into eachother yet. 

What is the best way to deal with this? I feel if I can settle things with him I would have this huge weight lifted off my chest and conscience and maybe be able to live freely.  I just can't do it????

Please help me.


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## Dizzy (Jun 11, 2005)

*Best friends ex gf*

Ok here's my situation.

6 years ago I met this girl through a friend of mine. He was dating her at the time, and she blew me away. So sweet and just an excellent person.

As time went on, they moved in together as did I and my current gf. My buddy and I started hanging out alot, became best friends I guess you could say. He cheated on her left and right, it drove me crazy because she was a special girl and didnt deserve it. He treated her like garbage, controlled her, told her what to wear what to do etc.

Then they had a kid. Thing were good for a while but it ended up going back to the old ways of him cheated and hurting her. I felt he didnt deserve a girl like that.

About 3 years ago, I broke up with my gf, and my buddy and his gf broke up as well. She was now a single mother with an asshole ex boyfriend.

Well, I started hanging out with his ex gf alot, and we had a great time. We started to date and thats when things went bad. I realize it wasnt the smartest move, but I had to have her. 

I lost contact with him and alot of mutual friends as expected. Now we live in a house together, both good jobs, excellent relationship and we have the best time together, couldnt ask for more in a girlfriend. I will marry her. Her now 4 year old daughter lives with us as well and see's her dad every other weekend.

I really want to call my ex best friend and say sorry for what I did. I havent spoken to him really since all the stuff happened. What do I do?

I just can't seem to pick up the phone and call. I aviod places where he might be and find myself looking over my shoulder wherever I go because I don't know what the confrontation is going to be like. And surprisingly enough we havent ran into eachother yet. 

What is the best way to deal with this? I feel if I can settle things with him I would have this huge weight lifted off my chest and conscience and maybe be able to live freely.  I just can't do it????

Please help me.


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## Suzette (Jun 11, 2005)

*Best friends ex gf*

Hi Dizzy,

I am not very familiar with these things but what comes to mind is why don't you write him a letter...?

If it is such difficult situation you are in then I would think you certainly could use a break through. 

You can only gain from making a move. When he responds you know where you stand for him, what he wants and you can make up your mind. And if he does not respond, you know also an answer.

I would certainly do something if I were you. After all, he had already broken up with her when you dated her.

That is how I see it.


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## Suzette (Jun 11, 2005)

*Best friends ex gf*

Hi Dizzy,

I am not very familiar with these things but what comes to mind is why don't you write him a letter...?

If it is such difficult situation you are in then I would think you certainly could use a break through. 

You can only gain from making a move. When he responds you know where you stand for him, what he wants and you can make up your mind. And if he does not respond, you know also an answer.

I would certainly do something if I were you. After all, he had already broken up with her when you dated her.

That is how I see it.


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## ThatLady (Jun 11, 2005)

*Best friends ex gf*

I'm not quite sure what it is you think you did wrong. When you started to see your current girl, he'd already broken up with her, yes? You didn't steal her from him, nor did you break up their relationship. That ended before your relationship with her started.

I don't know that I'd go out of my way to contact the guy. I wouldn't go out of my way to avoid him, either. I'd let life run its course. To me, the problem you're having doesn't require making things right with him as much as it requires making things right with yourself. You can do that very easily by realizing that you didn't do anything wrong and have nothing for which to apologize. )


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## ThatLady (Jun 11, 2005)

*Best friends ex gf*

I'm not quite sure what it is you think you did wrong. When you started to see your current girl, he'd already broken up with her, yes? You didn't steal her from him, nor did you break up their relationship. That ended before your relationship with her started.

I don't know that I'd go out of my way to contact the guy. I wouldn't go out of my way to avoid him, either. I'd let life run its course. To me, the problem you're having doesn't require making things right with him as much as it requires making things right with yourself. You can do that very easily by realizing that you didn't do anything wrong and have nothing for which to apologize. )


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## David Baxter PhD (Jun 12, 2005)

*Best friends ex gf*

I suspect that part of the struggle for you is also the memory of how badly your friend treated the woman you love.

It can be hard to forgive that...


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## David Baxter PhD (Jun 12, 2005)

*Best friends ex gf*

I suspect that part of the struggle for you is also the memory of how badly your friend treated the woman you love.

It can be hard to forgive that...


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## Dizzy (Jun 13, 2005)

*Best friends ex gf*

I just feel like I screwed him over. I didnt mean to, it just sort of happened you know. Its been 3 years since, and we havent spoken since. 

I keep wondering what its going to be like when we run into each other when his daughter is with me, or when we meet alone face to face.

I sometimes feel like an idiot for what I did too my friend. Or what others think of me now and my character, but at the same time I am happy. He could have have been happy too, but he screwed that up.

Either way thanks for the replys. 
Appreciate it.


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## Dizzy (Jun 13, 2005)

*Best friends ex gf*

I just feel like I screwed him over. I didnt mean to, it just sort of happened you know. Its been 3 years since, and we havent spoken since. 

I keep wondering what its going to be like when we run into each other when his daughter is with me, or when we meet alone face to face.

I sometimes feel like an idiot for what I did too my friend. Or what others think of me now and my character, but at the same time I am happy. He could have have been happy too, but he screwed that up.

Either way thanks for the replys. 
Appreciate it.


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